Kundalini, Shamanism and Disorders of the Nervous System

[Seawolf]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

Functional Neurological Disorder
Dysautonomia
Epilepsy
Fibromyalgia
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME)
Restless Leg Syndrome
Adrenal Exhaustion
Strange Allergies
Multiple Chemical Sensitivity
Lupus
Depression & Anxiety
Insomnia and Hypersomnia
Sensory overloading and overstimulating

Sounds like trauma symptoms. Many of us have Developmental Trauma or CPTSD as well. There is EMDR, IFS(Internal Family Systems), Somatic Experiencing. . read Bessell Van Der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score". Pete Walker's "Complex Post Traumatic Stress: From Surviving to Thriving", and "Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy". Or you might just have PTSD, which EMDR really helps with, or Somatic Experiencing.

Once you get on the path to trauma recovery, you'll start getting better. But most people here don't do that sort of thing, so you might have to be flexible and open.

[sentient]

^ Trauma and post-traumatic stress counselling is a good idea.

On physical side, Shivani, you wouldn’t be the first person who after a stomach problem, be it food poisoning, giardia infection or candida/yeast overgrowth etc. has ended up with a whole host of more serious health problems like the ones you listed, especially if they developed a “leaky gut”.
Doctors do not seem to address this, but a good iridologist/naturopath will.

[Shivani Devi]

My dear Nature Grows, I got your kind PM and thank you for it...it is pretty intense stuff, so I wasn't able to reply straight away and I'm still trying to work out what words I am going to use, and I realise I need to be sensitive and tactful, so please forgive me if it takes a few days to reply to you.
You haven't been forgotten, but that article on Shamanism and Mental Illness was brilliant!

Originally Posted by Seawolf

Sounds like trauma symptoms. Many of us have Developmental Trauma or CPTSD as well. There is EMDR, IFS(Internal Family Systems), Somatic Experiencing. . read Bessell Van Der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score". Pete Walker's "Complex Post Traumatic Stress: From Surviving to Thriving", and "Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy". Or you might just have PTSD, which EMDR really helps with, or Somatic Experiencing.

Once you get on the path to trauma recovery, you'll start getting better. But most people here don't do that sort of thing, so you might have to be flexible and open.

I could hug you as well. You are always a goldmine of wisdom and a wealth of knowledge to me.

After I was diagnosed with all the above, I was referred to a Neuro Psychiatrist called Dr. Keith Johnson at Wollongong Hospital by a Neurologist called Dr. Karen Fuller, at the same location (I live in Shellharbour NSW).

I went to see Dr. Johnson, after Dr. Fuller did all those tests, told me that my symptoms didn't have any physical cause, even though they can be measured physically, so it was way out of her league as she only dealt with stuff that had a 'cause' to have an 'effect'.

Dr. Johnson told me that it was all a result of suppressed trauma since childhood and the 'hard life' I have led...having nobody to help me, talk to me, encourage me...relying on only myself and continuing to turn within to my own Self for help (and the Spirits, of course)...but he called it Conversion Disorder, Dysautonomia, CPTSD and FND, then he referred me to the works of professor Jon Stone from the University of Edinburgh:

https://www.ed.ac.uk/clinical-brain-...s/dr-jon-stone

After that, he suggested I find a psychologist or counsellor who specialised in Trauma Counselling.

I was tortured, raped, abused, neglected etc from the ages of 5-25 years. I had no friends, nobody to help me, my family hated me...I was never loved, held, hugged, praised, appreciated...I was told I never deserved it because I was a 'bad girl' and it became very apparent that I was only meant to be a 'replacement' for the perfect boy child, my parents had 2 years before my arrival, who died of SIDS (cot death), but I wasn't what they wanted.

Anyway, I only felt pain...I only felt 'not normal' as I watched other children playing with each other...being hugged and kissed by their parents...for a long time, I felt so jealous of them...yeah, I pretty much discovered God and religion about the same time, when I understood that I deserved to be loved because there was One who did so regardless, no matter if I was a 'bad girl' or not.

So, I found this psychologist (Robyn Iforgetherlastname) and I go and see her every fortnight. I have been going for a year now...but so far, nothing has happened, nothing has changed. Problem is, I've put it all 'in the past' instead of dealing with it 'in the now' and I can openly talk about it without emotion, like an old movie I had once seen. Consciously, I've desensitised myself from it fully, but subconsciously, I have not and so any attempt to consciously work on it, is producing limited results, as I've had the last 30 years or so to mentally "get over it" even though physically, that doesn't seem to be the case.

This is also why consciously, I'm not afraid to die or to astral travel, but subconsciously, I am...but I seem to be losing my grip on my own version of 'reality' and I'm trying to hold on to it, because God only knows what's left after the fact...when a person with CPTSD has a profound spiritual awakening and realises the true nature of Consciousness, yet still remains trapped within the hurt little child (or 'brat' as Davidsun says). I'm fully God-realised, but don't want to be...because there's so much responsibility, answerability, humility and incumbency which goes along with that, I realise I cannot do anything until I get through the trauma first...that which holds me back, despite the fact that nothing really does...and then, it becomes a conundrum that my mind and body cannot handle.

So, it's difficult for the psychologist to approach this and we've tried...the next step is a hypnotherapist to try and change some of my patterns and beliefs that I cannot consciously change because there are just too many barriers to work around...caused by the trauma itself and I'm not even consciously aware that I am putting them up, but the psychologist is...and yet, I cannot seem to be able to 'help it' because I've only had myself to talk to and rely on for the last 20 years...I don't even go out much because my trauma has totally desensitised me from the world, that I've sorta lost the ability to 'relate' to people (if I ever had that to begin with) and I doubt 'relating to Spirits' or 'relating to God' is a good primer for 'relating to people'.

However, like I said...I'm also starting to lose my connection to that which has sustained me all these years and even last night I found myself praying to Shiva going "please give me the feeling back...you know, how I felt when I first saw your image? I want to feel that again"...yet, I was a 'good girl' this morning, because I woke up at 8am and did an hour of yoga followed by half an hour of meditation...I also found a way to keep apple cider vinegar down...by mixing it with olive oil, himalayan pink salt, ground garlic, lime juice and warm water. I drank about half a litre of that mixture last night (probably why I was able to get up and do yoga). lol

So yes, I shall read those books and thank you so much for that...I want to learn, I want something that's going to help because nobody in the medical profession seems to know how (that I have gone to see anyway) and I can't even go to the doctor now with any problem because it all gets attributed to 'trauma' and it all becomes "when was the last time you saw Dr. Johnson?" when even Dr.Johnson, himself said there was nothing he could really do for me anymore. It sucks, because I could be having a heart attack and won't even know it until it kills me, unfortunately...and that's the down side of having a 'psychosomatic illness'...which is kinda just a stone's throw away from 'spiritual sickness'. It seems that my premature kundalini awakening just exacerbated or brought forward all those things that were bound to happen anyway.

Yes, I realise that I am 'powerful beyond measure'...but after a lifetime of being kept down...'in my place'....'shut up because nobody wants to hear what you have to say'...'you're nothing special'....'you will do what I say'....'you are NOBODY! do you understand?' etc...etc...it's difficult for me to reconcile this...difficult to feel the love I have for Shiva and vice versa...He's all I have ever known my whole life and sometimes, I think He intentionally made it that way because I 'belong to Him' or something like that.

Anyway, a bit more of the story...a few more 'pieces to the puzzle' and now, to save my pennies so I can buy those books (unless there's a free PDF version somewhere).

[sentient]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

I also found a way to keep apple cider vinegar down...by mixing it with olive oil, himalayan pink salt, ground garlic, lime juice and warm water. I drank about half a litre of that mixture last night (probably why I was able to get up and do yoga). lol

Please don’t go overboard with this.

It is just that when we and/or our bodies are under chronic stress i.e. in a ‘fight or flight mode’ our digestion stops and so does the production of stomach acid.
https://drjockers.com/causes-and-sym...-stomach-acid/

But please get the situation diagnosed and assessed by a naturopath-iridologist.

The Apple Cider Vinegar with “the Mother” is only a first aid and should be taken prior to meals to aid digestion:
https://draxe.com/low-stomach-acid/

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by sentient

Please don’t go overboard with this.

It is just that when we and/or our bodies are under chronic stress i.e. in a ‘fight or flight mode’ our digestion stops and so does the production of stomach acid.
https://drjockers.com/causes-and-sym...-stomach-acid/

But please get the situation diagnosed and assessed by a naturopath-iridologist.

The Apple Cider Vinegar with “the Mother” is only a first aid and should be taken prior to meals to aid digestion:
https://draxe.com/low-stomach-acid/

I've been taking it (or trying to) on and off for the past few months with Garcinia Cambogia to try and shed the 30kgs I have put on since all this first happened....and also to make my blood more alkaline to ease the symptoms of fibromyalgia and osteo arthritis in my knees and hips, as well as the recurrent migraines I seem to get. It was recommended I take 20-30mls of it along with 300mg of HCA half an hour before bed for weight loss.

As terribly ironic and stupid as this all is, I'm also very well versed in Ayurveda and plant medicines. I wish I wasn't because I know what I have to do, but cannot do it and that's effing frustrating!

For example, I cannot take any painkillers because I developed an opioid habit when all this pain started because stuff like Paracetamol, Ibuprofen, Aspirin, White Willow, Turmeric, medicinal rubs etc do not work on me...I gave up opioids 6 months ago but within the past week, I discovered wild lettuce juice...I haven't taken it yet, but I'm over the moon!

I've also been taking Ashwaghanda, Seaweed extract (if my thyroid is anything, it would be under-active and seaweed helps repair DNA), GABA + melotonin to restore my brain's natural DMT levels and trying to eat less carbs, but any reduction in blood sugar is leading to more ferocious migraines...it's like a dog chasing its tail.

As for Apple Cider Vinegar...started off using Braggs with 'The Mother' about 6 months ago (the same time I gave up Codeine) and last week I finished the bottle so I got this new one...Mazzetti Organic ACV with 'the Mother' from Italy. It claims to have honey and ginger in it...but I cannot taste it...read the 'ingredients panel'...1% honey and 1% ginger...yeah, riight! lol, but about a quarter of the bottle is full of 'The Mother' and it's about 3-4 times stronger and more pungent than Braggs...and, of course, harder to get down.

I'm also looking into the effects of piperine, blue lotus and wormwood at the moment...but I realise it's best to just establish myself on what I'm already taking first and eating more dark red/purple fruits and vegetables, avoiding flouridated water...trying to avoid coffee and the 3 teaspoons of sugar I put in each cup (this is my biggest downfall) and trying to go to sleep in a dark room as soon as the sun sets without any lights...and wake up as soon as the sun rises, going out and exposing myself to the first few rays of it, to boost my melatonin production naturally.

I've also started listening to binaural beats and solfeggio music at the Schumann resonance to 'ground the shakti in muladhara' as it were, but the cat don't like being placed back in the bag I let it out of either.

However, I shall take on board the advice to go and see somebody who has a piece of paper they can show to people telling them they know what they are talking about because they are qualified and therefore meet all the social requirements of acceptability.

[sentient]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

However, I shall take on board the advice to go and see somebody who has a piece of paper they can show to people telling them they know what they are talking about because they are qualified and therefore meet all the social requirements of acceptability.

Through naturopath one will get access to ‘practitioner only’ formulas.

This isn’t exactly for Fibromyalgia, but has helped many:
https://www.metagenics.com.au/Products/Product/MPL

From Health Food shops:
When Adrenal, Pancreatic and Thyroid function is impaired:
http://nutrivital.com.au/product_detail.php?seq=31

I'm also looking into the effects of piperine, blue lotus and wormwood at the moment

For parasitic infections, I think this has worked the best (taken for 30 days, but apart from Apple Cider Vinegar not to be taken with any other herbs or supplements):
http://genesishealthproducts.com/?page_id=27

Those are just the ones I am able to recommend.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by sentient

Through naturopath one will get access to ‘practitioner only’ formulas.

This isn’t exactly for Fibromyalgia, but has helped many:
https://www.metagenics.com.au/Products/Product/MPL

From Health Food shops:
When Adrenal, Pancreatic and Thyroid function is impaired:
http://nutrivital.com.au/product_detail.php?seq=31


For parasitic infections, I think this has worked the best (taken for 30 days, but apart from Apple Cider Vinegar not to be taken with any other herbs or supplements):
http://genesishealthproducts.com/?page_id=27

Those are just the ones I am able to recommend.

Those are cool, especially the Adrenal Gland/Pancreatic/Thyroid one and all the adaptogens within. There is Ashwaghanda (Withania), and also Rhodiola (I have tried to buy this, but need to do so online) and even Tulsi (Holy Basil) - I have the essential oil of that. Yeah, I could formulate all of this myself, but why bother when one already exists? lol...btw, it has been recently found that Californian Ginseng has more of the active ingredient than Siberian or Korean Ginseng, but that's just by the by.

I also know that Reishi mushrooms and Shilajit fits into this category.

Wanna know where I got all of this from with the phonographic memory that I have?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPMbHaTwzmk

I can't take all the credit for being that intelligent, I just have a perfect 100% memory, despite everything else....and I don't forget anything once I have seen or heard it...also, my brain filters nothing out as being 'irrelevant' and so, there's an upside to this.

[Shivani Devi]

I also want to thank you so much, Sentient. You have given me very good advice and also herbal blends that may assist me, rather than me combining this and that, taking 5-6 pills when I need to only take one.

So, getting myself down into a 'herbal schedule' is what I need to do now, and until I can procure the first two items on your list (I doubt I have parasites, I was just looking for natural mood/consciousness altering drugs which are legal without having to worry about stomach enzymes killing the effects of them).

You have been a great help here! *hugs*

[OEN34]

I am new here, but I really enjoy reading your posts, Shivani Devi.

I genuinely felt touched when I read your long post above outlining your hurt and pain. I cannot say anything to help you directly, and I am certainly not intelligent enough to articulate myself very well, but I send you warmth and peace.

[Seawolf]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

I was tortured, raped, abused, neglected etc from the ages of 5-25 years. I had no friends, nobody to help me, my family hated me...I was never loved, held, hugged, praised, appreciated...I was told I never deserved it because I was a 'bad girl' and it became very apparent that I was only meant to be a 'replacement' for the perfect boy child, my parents had 2 years before my arrival, who died of SIDS (cot death), but I wasn't what they wanted.

I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. Yes that would definitely cause CPTSD. I'm starting IFS (Internal Family Systems) and it seems very promising. It's gentle, compassionate, and addresses the real issues.. the parts of us that are stuck in the past and in pain. Also, if you're not getting better with a therapist/psychologist, they're not helping you and I would think about finding another one. That's their job, and if they've reached the limit of what they can do for you, they should help you find someone who can take you further. Continuing to see a client that's not getting better is pretty unprofessional. They may not know that there are others who can help, or other therapies that are more effective than what they use.. maybe because they aren't current on the latest things.

But if you have CPTSD and have never heard of EMDR, Somatic Experiencing or IFS, Pete Walker, Bessell Van Der Kolk, then it sounds like your therapist is not current. There are big changes happening in the therapy world, they're finding things that work now. Again, I'm sorry to hear what happened to you, it's truly horrifying, I wish you the best and hope the day starts to break for you.

For some support, I go to https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD