Mother Issues

[Snow Goose]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

I've got a similar thing, although these days it's getting less, due to having another caliber of women in my circle. Plus, I don't work, so i don't have to deal with female colleagues anymore either. Mind you, some were great fun, but I've found that women can be horribly backstabbing, jealous and competitive creatures. I think women tend to be more competitive than men, grin.
Mostly cos women aren't empowered in their femininity and are affected by an imbalanced animus (wounded inner masculine).
I used to work in hospital in my 30s for a few years. Worst place ever! I always thought that would be warm and welcoming, sisterly. The opposite is true. The backlash and backstabbing was horrific.
Also when dealing with a female boss/manager it's much more difficult than with a male one. Often these women have grown thick skin, they didn't have much choice, had to get tough to make it in a men´s world and obtain and hold on to a higher position.
Again, not always, but oftentimes these women are very unpleasant.
With a man you don't have these problems. There's always the man-woman vibe, even when you aren't sexually interested. It's just different, and often much easier.
Another example... often when I go to the pub on my own, I get all these women glaring at me. Why on earth I don't know. I don't flirt, I'm not trying to steal their man or get attention of a man they're possibly interested in or anything. I'm not after any man for that matter, I'm more than happy with my own man. I'm just there to enjoy myself, the band, that's it. Yet, I get that ****, from both single and involved women.
I know I'm from Venus, but even I don't always understand other Venusians, haha.
A lot of women are still to stuck in masculine energy, crying shame as the Divine feminine is about supporting each other, being as one, sisters, not competitors.
Thank goodness there are women who are like that, strong enough in their femininity that they can embrace another woman without feeling threatened.
But as long as the world evolves around success, achievement, competition, power, status etc. (all masculine qualities) I guess women will have to struggle to find their own feminine way.

It's not something I experience in my life much either nowadays, or at least it's not directed at me (if it is I don't really notice/care)

I have worked in offices, banks, call centres the *****in could get really bad....some female bosses in those places could be horrid though I think it was more of a love of power thing than being about their struggle in a man's world, things really are pretty equal nowadays - where I live anyway.

If I was in a pub with my partner and you walked in on your own I would probably look at you too, not through jealousy or anything you just don't see many people going to pubs on their own I would be looking over and thinking about what brought you there etc (I'm a people watcher ;-) )

[FairyCrystal]

Had another thing come up, and since there's ppl here who've severed ties with their mother I wonder how they deal with this, or have even thought about it.
My mother is 74, and she totally relied on me to take care of her things if she'd pass away.
Since I wanted to sever ties completely, I told her to find someone else to take care of her things if that moment arrives.
Yesterday I found out that she is now involving my children in this, and my daughter was quite upset about it. She felt sorry for her grandmother having to worry about this sort of thing (making me feel guilty) and wasn't happy that she'd now have to do this with her brother while it is my job to do so.
I must admit I have been quite upset about this last night. As it is I don't want anything to do with my mother anymore, including that part, but I am not pleased she is now using her grandchildren for this.
A lot of mixed emotions for me, my daughter not even wondering why I severed ties, only feeling sorry for grandmother, not even thinking I must have had a very good reason for making this choice. And that it wasn't pleasant, otherwise I wouldn't have done it.
Anger towards my mother for involving my children, cos in a way she's now indirectly setting them up against me. I'm the bad person again for not doing this for my mother.
But where is the understanding for me making this choice, out of necessity for my own well-being?
So I severed the tie, or tried to, now it's back in my face. Or actually it feel more like being stabbed in the back.

How do you ppl deal with this part once you've severed ties with your mother? Cos at some point this will happen, they will pass away. I am by law responsible for this too, unless someone else does it, which to be honest I think is total bull. Why do I have to be responsible for someone who treats me badly just because she's a relative?

Would you still want to go to your mother's ceremony when she dies?
I myself haven't a clue, right now I say "no", but no way to tell how I will feel then.

[Snow Goose]

Give your kids some time, don't say anything just explain that you are unhappy and there is no need to involve them, they will see for themselves especially if your mother continues to bad mouth you. I have personal experience of this, it was pretty bad at some points but it has got better.

Regards death of a parent where do you live? Here if you don't claim the body the local council deal with it (normally given a nice send off).

[Shivani Devi]

Totally!

My mother knows that I will get everything done, but it has to be in my own time and way, or else I simply will not do it.

I don't suffer fools gladly, nor will I allow myself to be controlled by another person...but she has found a way to bypass all that and get totally under my skin simultaneously.

My mother is in a wheelchair, paralysed down one side due to a stroke 20 years ago, has had a broken hip 10 years ago, just came out of hospital a month ago after having a benign tumor removed from her brain and also a hernia operation...she cannot walk, can barely stand up...she can, but she cannot balance herself.

So, I have been spending the past 6 hours doing housework non-stop...I got the laundry out on the line early, washed up dishes, mopped floors, cooked lunch, dusted furniture, cleaned up after my teenage niece and nephew, cleaned the porch etc...I was going along okay...I was very happy.

I decided to sit down and rest and have a cup of tea and as SOON as I did, my mother goes "those clothes should be dry now, can you please go and take them off the line immediately?" and I go "I'm tired, mum....give me half an hour to rest, but then I will go and do that".

With that, my mum scowled and started forcibly wheeling her wheelchair away from me going "don't BOTHER then...I will get my shoes on and go and do it MYSELF...but if I have an accident or fall down, I hope you can live with yourself".

With that, I got up and said "okay, I will do it right now, but I will tell you something...you can just eff off...I hate you".

[captainamerica]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

Totally!

My mother knows that I will get everything done, but it has to be in my own time and way, or else I simply will not do it.

I don't suffer fools gladly, nor will I allow myself to be controlled by another person...but she has found a way to bypass all that and get totally under my skin simultaneously.

My mother is in a wheelchair, paralysed down one side due to a stroke 20 years ago, has had a broken hip 10 years ago, just came out of hospital a month ago after having a benign tumor removed from her brain and also a hernia operation...she cannot walk, can barely stand up...she can, but she cannot balance herself.

So, I have been spending the past 6 hours doing housework non-stop...I got the laundry out on the line early, washed up dishes, mopped floors, cooked lunch, dusted furniture, cleaned up after my teenage niece and nephew, cleaned the porch etc...I was going along okay...I was very happy.

I decided to sit down and rest and have a cup of tea and as SOON as I did, my mother goes "those clothes should be dry now, can you please go and take them off the line immediately?" and I go "I'm tired, mum....give me half an hour to rest, but then I will go and do that".

With that, my mum scowled and started forcibly wheeling her wheelchair away from me going "don't BOTHER then...I will get my shoes on and go and do it MYSELF...but if I have an accident or fall down, I hope you can live with yourself".

With that, I got up and said "okay, I will do it right now, but I will tell you something...you can just eff off...I hate you".

Oh dear,sorry about your problems friend.

I have read about a spiritual method that can help change her behavior towards you,should I tell it to you ?

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by captainamerica

Oh dear,sorry about your problems friend.

I have read about a spiritual method that can help change her behavior towards you,should I tell it to you ?

Anything would help, my dear. I am overworked, underappreciated and I'm driving myself into the ground based on forced guilt I shouldn't even be having, because one day soon, I am just gonna say "yes, you go and DO that and I hope you break your neck".

[captainamerica]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

Anything would help, my dear. I am overworked, underappreciated and I'm driving myself into the ground based on forced guilt I shouldn't even be having, because one day soon, I am just gonna say "yes, you go and DO that and I hope you break your neck".

The method works almost like magic and I've seen many case studies of it.It has two aspects ,first ,it removes the guilt ,anger ,resentment,regret etc.(including the subconscious and unconscious phases of it) completely so the issue no longer troubles you emotionally (like forced guilt) ,so that would be good.Second ,because of metaphysics ,many times,the method also changes the behavior of the concerned person towards you.

The method is on my hard drive ,I will search for it and send it to you via PM soon :-)

[Pagandell]

Originally Posted by captainamerica

The method works almost like magic and I've seen many case studies of it.It has two aspects ,first ,it removes the guilt ,anger ,resentment,regret etc.(including the subconscious and unconscious phases of it) completely so the issue no longer troubles you emotionally (like forced guilt) ,so that would be good.Second ,because of metaphysics ,many times,the method also changes the behavior of the concerned person towards you.

The method is on my hard drive ,I will search for it and send it to you via PM soon :-)

Would it be possible to send one to me I have really been going through it with my mother for some time, it would be much appreciated

[captainamerica]

Originally Posted by Pagandell

Would it be possible to send one to me I have really been going through it with my mother for some time, it would be much appreciated: icon_cool:

Sure friend, any time.Sorry about your problems.

I will send you three methods which have worked really well, the third method is very costly so I am not sure if you would be able to afford it (I can't also :-) ) but I will send it to you just in case you can because I believe it will help you a lot in case you can afford it.The cost of the other two methods is nothing but time, diligence, and most importantly, repetitions.

I will PM you the methods soon.

May I ask in which country do you live ?

I live in India.

[Pagandell]

Originally Posted by captainamerica

Sure friend, any time.Sorry about your problems.

I will send you three methods which have worked really well, the third method is very costly so I am not sure if you would be able to afford it (I can't also :-) ) but I will send it to you just in case you can because I believe it will help you a lot in case you can afford it.The cost of the other two methods is nothing but time, diligence, and most importantly, repetitions.

I will PM you the methods soon.

May I ask in which country do you live ?

I live in India.

Thank you so much, I live in London U k.

If you would like a free reading post me back.