The threshold of receiving

[Smilingweezy]

Maybe somewhere deep inside, you think you don't deserve it!

[guthrio]

Originally Posted by Leonine

Here's a strange one I'd like your help with, if you don't mind!

Why, when I'm on the threshold of "receiving" something I've wanted so badly for such a long time, do I suddenly back off and frequently decide I don't want it after all?

I've done this time and time again although, in the past, something has somehow pushed me on and I was later glad I didn't back out.

But, again, I'm on the threshold of "receiving" something I've wanted for a good while now.... and half hoping it all falls through asap.

Why?

Leonine,

How ironic is it that instead of being afflicted with that most common of ailments called "fear of failure",

....you are blessed with "fear of success", though I'm certain that what you've experienced works just as well in robbing you of the satisfaction of your Life's deeply held desires, wouldn't you agree?

I say ironic because I'm going to introduce you to yet another irony that will help you see that whether called "fear of failure" or "fear of success", both fears can still be directly used to achieve what you've heretofore avoided, namely, the acute satisfaction of actually achieving your Life's deeply held desires.

Want to know how ?

Feast your ears on the following excerpt from reference 1 (you'll see why I allude to the auditory sense momentarily): Are you ready ? "Hear" goes:

"Fear and excitement are the same energy...you experience them differently because of what you filter them through.

Analogy: You have on your planet the occupation referred to as "piano tuners". When you are playing your piano instrument, and you find the sound of the music pleasing, and then all of a sudden you come across what you call a sour note, "plunk... plunk... plunk... plunk".
Do you run away in panic and go and hide in the closet? "I shall never touch my piano again!" No. You say, "Ah, I require to tune the piano, so that the note becomes harmonious with all the other notes."

Each key is like unto a definition... a belief. When you come across one that gives you the sensation of fear, all that's telling you is, "Hey... hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... pay attention, you have a belief in this area of your song that is out of alignment with the whole rest of the piano". Fine tune it... bring it back into harmony... don't run away... explore it: "Bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk... what would I have to do to tune this? How would I have to redefine it? How would I have to tighten this string in order to bring it back into tune... into alignment? Play with it... find out until finally, "Bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk... it's back.

Explore what that definition is that allows you to feel your very own energy in the mode called fear, because also the paradox is (and paradox is a very powerful tool), when you make a friend of your fear, "Ah-hah, a fear... oh joy!", when you know your fear is there to tell you something you want to know... you will invite it in, and miraculously, instantly... your fear will vanish, because you will have transformed it into... first, curiosity:
"What could this mean?" and then joy, by being willing to explore what it means for you.That is how you use fear, fear is just a knock at the door "Pay attention to this... this is something you want to know about yourself, this is something you need to know to integrate within yourself, to become more of who you are". And wouldn't that be fun? Of course.

So, pay attention to the fear... don't ignore it... feel it, by all means feel it as fully as you can and then dive in to the unknown... dive into the fear, let it wash through you... feel all the sensations that go along with it and then let your fear ignite you... ignite your burning curiosity, "What could this possibly mean... what definition would I have to believe in in order to experience my own energy in this way, what could it be, I wonder?

Then, explore... find out what you believe, find out what kind of definitions you have about reality, and rewrite them... reinvent them... redefine them, be creative, use your imagination... that's what it's for."

....and in deference to Franklin D. Roosevelt's oft-quoted maxim about fear,

....as so utilized, there is then nothing to fear, not even fear itself.

Queue: Obi-wan Kenobi's disembodied, yet omnipresent voice who once wisely whispered something similarly to a young Skywalker a long, long, time ago in a galaxy far, far away: "Use the fear, Leonine."

Do you hear how close you are to the threshold of receiving...now?

Hope this, and the reference, below, helps you to do so....

Reference 1: http://www.bashar.org/transcriptfundamentals.html