Spiritual Calmness In Communications

[blackraven]

I have a calmness that is very unnerving to people. I approach situations in a very non-threatening, non competitive manner and don't like to argue a point for argument's sake. I also don't like to complain because I would rather solve problems in order to have nothing to complain about. I spent several hours with a few people the other day and not only was I drained when the day was over from the other's incessant complaining and worldly woes of how life stinks, etc., but I got the sense that they felt bored with me. The conversation was always very one-sided with them doing all the talking and I not responding in return but just sitting in silence. On a few occasions I offered positive feedback only to be met with rolling eyes. Don't get me wrong. I don't think I'm in some special class. I just feel so removed and dull because I feel sometimes if I don't want to join in and hate on the world with others I'm left out of conversations completely. Do others have this feeling of spiritual calmness in communications driving a wedge between themselves and others?

Blackraven

Yes! My relationships have changed because of this, as well. It does make it hard to talk with some people so I find myself saying less and not interacting as much with people that aren't very positive.
flutterangel

[psychoslice]

Yes I know what you mean, this is one reason i don't like being around most people for too long, they try to get you into their story, and yes they usually carry on about how bad the weather is and how bad the world is, you see throughout here on SF also. They seem to drain my energy like a parasite trying to suck anything that agrees with their miserable story, when you don't play their game they think there is something wrong with me, well there is something wrong with me, I just don't want to play their game, I rather play solitaire.

Hey blackraven,

I have experienced this as well. I know sometimes there are situations where others just need to vent when things become over whelming for them and there are those who thrive on this type of conversation. I have found overtime which acquaintances and friends are the latter and tend to not give them opportunity to start their rant, they will look for someone who will. It is hard sometimes to deal with that's for sure.

nightowl

[Spiritlite]

I wish I had your gift for doing that :)
Spiritlite.

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by flutterangel

Yes! My relationships have changed because of this, as well. It does make it hard to talk with some people so I find myself saying less and not interacting as much with people that aren't very positive.
flutterangel

flutterangel - Thanks for your reply!

Blackraven

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by psychoslice

Yes I know what you mean, this is one reason i don't like being around most people for too long, they try to get you into their story, and yes they usually carry on about how bad the weather is and how bad the world is, you see throughout here on SF also. They seem to drain my energy like a parasite trying to suck anything that agrees with their miserable story, when you don't play their game they think there is something wrong with me, well there is something wrong with me, I just don't want to play their game, I rather play solitaire.

Hi Robert. Nice to hear from you. I wasn't playing games with family members the other day and I'm not in the club now. Oh well. Guess I'm playing solitaire too.

Blackraven

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by nightowl

Hey blackraven,

I have experienced this as well. I know sometimes there are situations where others just need to vent when things become over whelming for them and there are those who thrive on this type of conversation. I have found overtime which acquaintances and friends are the latter and tend to not give them opportunity to start their rant, they will look for someone who will. It is hard sometimes to deal with that's for sure.

nightowl

Yeah nightowl, venting and thriving are two different scenarios. Like you said, you figure out which one falls into which category and you adjust your attention accordingly. I just don't have the patience to digest a lot of complaining just for the sake of complaining and going no where with it. It's actually painful. I feel like screaming, "Stop it!" OK, that felt good.

Blackraven

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by Spiritlite

I wish I had your gift for doing that :)
Spiritlite.

Me too. I would like to be able to set the stage for upbeat, positive conversation for everyone I get around. Wouldn't the world be a wonderful place if we all could do that?

Blackraven

[arto]

I certainly have experiences of that. There are some people who I have toi avoid completely when I can't take their drudgery on board. I have a friend whose always negative, and it makes me disinterested in her., perhaps she feels those constant hiccups and problems make her unique, but I don't. # shrugs