The Inner Conundrum

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by django

How has it made things a hundred times worse?

I think you had a lot of hope for kundalini being the answer, is it still doing its thing, do you think it still could help in the end, or has something drastically changed?

What I thought (I may be wrong) is that due to childhood trauma, unresolved issues and emotions, I still had quite a few blocked nadis as a result which weren't cleared up beforehand.

So when the Shakti went through, she went around these blockages, taking a lesser route to her destination and overloading neural pathways and networks in the process, attributing to the physical symptoms of the conversion disorder which I already had.

That's the theory at least.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by django

I don't understand what 5D is meant to be, it sounds new-ageish to me, you have a distinct light body? How was that created or realised or whatever?

Thanks for you two inquiries.

Whether it sounds 'new-agish' or not (and I usually shy away from New-Age idealisms myself), some drastic changes are happening/have happened as a result of this which doesn't seem to relate whatsoever to this 'physical universe' in regards to matter and form.

I have outlined them in this post I made today:
http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...78&postcount=2

[Shivani Devi]

Here you go, sweetheart:

https://www.naturaltherapypages.com....ritual_Healing

https://www.cocoonfloatation.com.au/...egans-courses/

http://yasodharayoga.org/wollongong/

Don't say I neva give you anything. :p

[django]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

What I thought (I may be wrong) is that due to childhood trauma, unresolved issues and emotions, I still had quite a few blocked nadis as a result which weren't cleared up beforehand.

So when the Shakti went through, she went around these blockages, taking a lesser route to her destination and overloading neural pathways and networks in the process, attributing to the physical symptoms of the conversion disorder which I already had.

That's the theory at least.

Well your theory makes sense to me about the nadis, but what's 'conversion' disorder?

Is it still enjoyable sometimes when it gets to the top?

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by django

Well your theory makes sense to me about the nadis, but what's 'conversion' disorder?

Is it still enjoyable sometimes when it gets to the top?

Thank you.

Conversion Disorder in DSMIV has been changed to Functional Neurological Disorder in DSMV...but I still call it 'Conversion Disorder' because that is the name it is 'better known by'.

It is when emotions are detached from...or transcended...or depressed/buried and they cannot be 'expressed' or they can't 'get out' and so they punish the body with heaps of neurological symptoms and disorders to compensate for the fact.

[7luminaries]

Shivani...this is very interesting, what you say about the disassociation of emotions...and my heart goes out to you.

It seems to me many experience a similar thing with PTSD and similar situations of pervasive abuse and/or deep trauma. Have you heard about that? Many describe feeling unhinged mentally whilst "feeling blind", i.e., not feeling anything and essentially being blind, deaf, and mute emotionally -- suddenly and with no warning. Perhaps for months and even years.

Trying to re-learn how to navigate their humanity with a cracked heart vessel that often cannot even hold their emotions without disassociation and shutting itself down.

I feel that so much more needs to be done here, for so much of humanity.

Peace & blessings
7L

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

Shivani...this is very interesting, what you say about the disassociation of emotions...and my heart goes out to you.

It seems to me many experience a similar thing with PTSD and similar situations of pervasive abuse and/or deep trauma. Have you heard about that? Many describe feeling unhinged mentally whilst "feeling blind", i.e., not feeling anything and essentially being blind, deaf, and mute emotionally -- suddenly and with no warning. Perhaps for months and even years.

Trying to re-learn how to navigate their humanity with a cracked heart vessel that often cannot even hold their emotions without disassociation and shutting itself down.

I feel that so much more needs to be done here, for so much of humanity.

Peace & blessings
7L

Thank you and I totally agree that more needs to be done.

I had a look at the statistics on this before and it affects about 10% of the population and is very prevalent in women who had a father with narcissistic personality disorder and a mother with borderline personality disorder and was physically/sexually abused as a child and totally neglected...yep, pretty much describes me to a tee.

I have been diagnosed with CPTSD already:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comple...tress_disorder

It leads to what you have described and it's called somatization disorder...and I suffer terribly with it. Add this to the fact I am also on the autism spectrum and it complicates issues.

I call it 'emotional numbness' but 'emotional blindness' fits...in that I know I should be feeling something in a certain situation, because I see others experiencing stuff...but it just ain't there.

There is an upside though and it's a lifeline for me...in that my 'cracked heart vessel' can feel amazing love for the Divine without shutting everything down...unless of course when everything shuts down and I go into bliss instead of pain...but that doesn't happen very often..

Meanwhile, I have just been put on Cymbalta (duloxetine) and I have to see my neuropsychiatrist once a month now - instead of four times a year....because regulating body temperature, breathing, blood pressure, heartbeat etc is getting hard now as my whole sympathetic nervous system has basically shut down.