Why do we decide to chase?

[innerlight]

Now when I speak of "chasing" I don't always mean in the sense of a person constantly following someone, or hounding them, or wanting to talk to them, always texting them trying to get a reply. Or stalking their FB page to see what they are up to. Yes, that does happen. I've seen many talk about it.

Is it still chasing if one thinks that perhaps one day they will come to their senses and come back to me? I would say yes, because one is putting off their own life in hopes of something happening that may never happen.

[Universal.Vibe]

Y'all are masochistic that's why.

[innerlight]

Originally Posted by Universal.Vibe

Y'all are masochistic that's why.

Are you providing any actual discussion, or wisdom, or just coming to insult and belittle others?

[Universal.Vibe]

Originally Posted by innerlight

Are you providing any actual discussion, or wisdom, or just coming to insult and belittle others?

Is masochist an insult? I thought masochist are awesome, it's the sadists that are awful people.

[Saoirse Walker]

Originally Posted by innerlight

That is a good question to ponder upon? I would imagine it falls into the people don't truly know someone, until they get too close to them. I would imagine that in many cases they don't realize things would be bad. Until it happens. Other cases they see it, or perhaps they are in denial about it, or they think things maybe different for them, or that perhaps they could help change them, showing them a better way.

I know, I have been in that with relationships before. Where you think that maybe you'd be different than everyone else in the past. Love can make you forget everything you think you know about things, and even go against what you would normally do. I'm sure we've all be in those shoes.

Which then brings it back to the same train of thought on it's not the person we are after, but love. We do things we wouldn't normally do. Act in ways we wouldn't normally do. Tolerate more than we should. All because of what we see as love... But then, is it truly love we are seeing during those times or a twisted perversion of what we think love is? Stemming from perhaps an emptiness within us...

Abuse also doesn't have to be something so direct as being rude, or nasty. But abuse could be in the way of someone playing games with their emotions. I've seen that happen plenty of times with people around here as well. Where they are left with so much uncertainty about their relationship. So when I spoke of why people chase an abusive person it wasn't only in a direct toxic way.

The fact that this is a broad phenomena with the predominant response being this way, I find I haven't wanted to be judgmental. The modern relationship dynamic is a new thing. Birth control has only been legalized since 1972. A lot has changed over the decades, and we don't always have a precedence to go by. I've noticed a lot of troubles in relationships are instincts coming into play, and when you notice everybody doing it, you know you're up against a strong instinct that impacts a gender. We haven't had enough years to ace it all. I think the instinct to chase the person you have a connection with might have to do with so many centuries in which building a family was the way to survive.

One thing I know for certain is that in spite of having lived a life with great health practices, emotionally, mentally and physically, when things ended with the man I thought I had a twin flame experience with I met with my first real challenge in life. It's like I had managed all other challenges, but this one had much to teach me because it was truly difficult and my emotions and actions were truly out of character and baffling. I got a real chance to look at weaknesses I didn't know I had because normal circumstances didn't bring them out. But it wasn't until I stopped judging myself and started accepting and loving through it all that I started to really change the behavior I had that troubled me.

[innerlight]

Originally Posted by Universal.Vibe

Is masochist an insult? I thought masochist are awesome, it's the sadists that are awful people.

Well telling someone they get off and enjoy being tortured is insulting to them. Wouldn't you think?

Sadly there are many that do enjoy being in such situations, not because they enjoy being abused and hurt, but in being the victim and seeking the attention of it all. However, that is not in what I am speaking of with chasing love like that. That's more of a rare instance of it.

[innerlight]

Originally Posted by Saoirse Walker

The fact that this is a broad phenomena with the predominant response being this way, I find I haven't wanted to be judgmental. The modern relationship dynamic is a new thing. Birth control has only been legalized since 1972. A lot has changed over the decades, and we don't always have a precedence to go by. I've noticed a lot of troubles in relationships are instincts coming into play, and when you notice everybody doing it, you know you're up against a strong instinct that impacts a gender. We haven't had enough years to ace it all. I think the instinct to chase the person you have a connection with might have to do with so many centuries in which building a family was the way to survive.

One thing I know for certain is that in spite of having lived a life with great health practices, emotionally, mentally and physically, when things ended with the man I thought I had a twin flame experience with I met with my first real challenge in life. It's like I had managed all other challenges, but this one had much to teach me because it was truly difficult and my emotions and actions were truly out of character and baffling. I got a real chance to look at weaknesses I didn't know I had because normal circumstances didn't bring them out. But it wasn't until I stopped judging myself and started accepting and loving through it all that I started to really change the behavior I had that troubled me.

Another good thing to ponder on, is on whether things come from society.. IE, we've all heard the stories of how there is that one soul mate for us all. They one perfect match. Does that influence our relationships? Does it magnify any connection we may feel for another? Does it cause us to be more connected to any connection because we have that sliver of hope put into us from childhood/society of that one great love that we are all said we were destined to have? Would it change our relationships if we weren't raised by that?

And yes, relationships have changed dynamics over the decades within even the past 100 years. They have become more casual than anything. Perhaps we have become blocked to feeling real connections to people. And when it happens once, we don't want to let go of it. We think and feel it may never happen again for us. Which is certainly understandable. Who would want to give up that type of love that type of connection so easily?

[Saoirse Walker]

Originally Posted by innerlight

Another good thing to ponder on, is on whether things come from society.. IE, we've all heard the stories of how there is that one soul mate for us all. They one perfect match. Does that influence our relationships? Does it magnify any connection we may feel for another? Does it cause us to be more connected to any connection because we have that sliver of hope put into us from childhood/society of that one great love that we are all said we were destined to have? Would it change our relationships if we weren't raised by that?

And yes, relationships have changed dynamics over the decades within even the past 100 years. They have become more casual than anything. Perhaps we have become blocked to feeling real connections to people. And when it happens once, we don't want to let go of it. We think and feel it may never happen again for us. Which is certainly understandable. Who would want to give up that type of love that type of connection so easily?

Yeah and television too. I had the idea as a child that it would make me happy to be with the right guy. And if, over the years, you don't meet him, when you finally do it's breathtaking, even if the adult version of you has gotten past that idea.

[Universal.Vibe]

Originally Posted by innerlight

Well telling someone they get off and enjoy being tortured is insulting to them. Wouldn't you think?

Masochism is an umbrella term.
It just means to enjoy pain that is all.