Meditation is confusing and stressful

[WabiSabi]

I believe that you are trying too hard.

When I first started meditating, I had this impression that I had to be completely still, and that any movement was a failure. And so I sat like a steel rod, perfectly straight, and tense like a leaf spring. As was to be expected, this ended in failure indeed, as it was far too uncomfortable. Trying to be still does not work, stillness comes of its own accord.

When I first started meditating, I had this impression that my mind had to be completely silent, and that any thought was a failure. And so I tried to shut my mind up with mental force, and 'slapped' myself whenever a thought arose. As was to be expected, this ended in failure indeed, as my mind would not be quieted through force and so I grew frustrated and would quit. Trying to be silent does not work, silence comes of its own accord.

I don't really like the term meditation, as it has a connotation of action. And so many people approach meditation as something they need to try to do. But that is not the case, for so long as you try you will most likely fail. Meditation is not something you try to do, it is just something you do. And so I prefer the term sitting (thank you Thich Nhat Hanh), as you don't need to try and sit, you already know how. So just sit. Meditative states will come to you when they are ready.

[Uma]

Originally Posted by Mystic Mark

Hi Blue Hippo ... Meditation is not for everyone. Here is alternative (that works well for me.) Place a towel down on the floor and lie face down on the floor for about one or two minutes every day (with your eyes closed.) and breath through your nose. That will help to give you some peace of mind, but if you do it outside on the ground, that will give you even more.

Lie face down? Ouch! (To each his own I guess.)

[Mystic Mark]

No pain ... no gain! ... lol.

Yes, I already understand the fact that there's an easier way to do it, just in case you mentioned it for that reason.

[Ilovecats]

Meditation can be relaxing and simple.

For me simple and relaxed meditation is sitting in a quiet room in a time when I know I will not be disturbed, with my eyes closed and just being, not thinking about anything. I make myself comfortable. Sometimes I put relaxing music in the background, light a candle with some nice scent.

If you expect something to happen all the time that can be stressful. I think meditation is more about excepting what is and not trying to do anything about it.

You can't expect to go into some "magical" places right away. Though my first meditation was quite magical but the others after that were not because I was expecting that kind of "magic" all the time.

For me meditation is kind of separation from my thoughts. Realization that I'm not my thoughts and that I don't need to go with every thought that occurs in my mind. I can observe it, ignore it or just decide to let it flow and continue with my awareness as it is. For me meditation is when I have a break from my thoughts.

It's also possible to practice meditation in your daily life. Like going outside and just observing things or nature without thinking and adding a meaning to it.

When you get a hand of it you can get all kind of different insights that don't come from thought or your mind. It's like tuning into different kind of intelligence. If you do your daily activities and don't think while doing it but just being present, you can see that you still know what to do. It's not like you have to use your mind all the time.

You can't expect to become a "master" in it over night. It's a gradual process. At least for most humans I think

You can be more playful about it if you want. It's not like something serious is going on