Repeated experience: I haven't been helped

[Imperator]

I humbly asked for healing and I haven't been healed. I humbly agreed to be helped and I haven't been helped. Furthermore I get blamed for not doing things right. I am coming to you because I am not able to do things.

[Dan_SF]

You have already been healed, but if you have any fear of it, it will take a bit longer for you to recognize it.

Kick out whoever tells you otherwise. (i'm addressing this thought/the voice which tells you that you weren't healed).

i'm going to paste a Quote from the Acim/Jcim here:

Let us suppose, then, that what you request of the Holy Spirit IS what you really want, but you are still AFRAID of it.
Should this be the case, your ATTAINMENT of it would no longer BE what you want, even if IT is. This accounts for why
certain SPECIFIC forms of healing are not achieved, even though the state of healing IS. It frequently happens that an
individual asks for physical healing because he is fearful of BODILY harm. At the same time, however, if he WERE healed
physically, the threat to his thought system would be considerably MORE fearful to him than its physical expression. In this
case he is not really asking for RELEASE from fear, but for the removal of a symptom which HE has selected. This request is,
therefore, NOT for healing at all.

only to give you an indicator to why healing is not seen as yet.

So the advice is to work on removal of fear of healing.

How ? find a way which is making you happy, in which you forget that you need healing.

Absolutely stop thinking about whatever you think needs healing and think about it like:

"It is healed, it is done"

[mihael_11]

Everyone can't be helped.
Depends on what healing means to you, but maybe you are pushing wrong way so thats why healing doesn't happened. You want to be right in your wrong.

So..

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Imperator

I humbly asked for healing and I haven't been healed. I humbly agreed to be helped and I haven't been helped. Furthermore I get blamed for not doing things right. I am coming to you because I am not able to do things.

This is going to hurt, and I apologise in advance if it does.

When one asks for help, it is usually out of total desperation. They admit to themselves and to others, that whatever they have done or tried isn't working for them, even though, as most often is the case, they have already decided that it wasn't going to work beforehand and they will try it for a few days with a negative attitude, and then after that, they will go "see, I was right! Then, when anybody else suggests it, they will simply say "been there, done that and it didn't work"...they are expecting miracles to happen, without putting in any effort to change themselves, which always leaves me thinking "well, they mustn't really need help all that badly then" and I just walk away.

When a person is in need of help, they have to be open to receiving it (getting it past the ego first). There's a process of "allowing" another to help, which does require a bit of humility and the acceptance that maybe you just don't have all the answers, because if you did, then you wouldn't need "help" and in this way, if you are able to let the universe guide you, then you will receive the help you need and not the help you want, which really doesn't help whatsoever and only makes matters worse for you.

People can only give what they can... what they have, and if you find that it really isn't suitable for you, that's fine, but I would much prefer to hear "thank you, but I don't want to do that" over "thank you, but I CAN'T do that because *insert lame excuse here* and when I suggest ways to get over that self-imposed obstacle, they will say "oh, I can't do that either, because of *insert another lame excuse here* and on and on this goes, for ten minutes or more until I say "so what does your counselor say about all of your reasons why you can't do all those things then?

[Aknaton]

Imperator, whats the problem? What do yoi want to be healed from?

[Imperator]

Originally Posted by Aknaton

Imperator, whats the problem? What do yoi want to be healed from?

I am not able to do things for myself. I am not able to feel good and do the ruthless action tasks required. I am trapped mentally and have not enough physical energy. I cannot maintain my positive self image. Zero self respect and boundaries, a lot of neglect, abuse, discrimination, feeling low. Poor vision, stress, tension in the mind, poor living circumstances. No health or high enough income. Fear of success. A really bad hand, as in cards dealt in childhood.

I do not have enough self-esteem. People blame me, tell me to get help. Then it gets worse, the help does not work. I was better before I listened. But I still feel so alone and terrified, always mind racing and heart rate high. Flight mode. Anxious. So many things go wrong. Even when I get a glimpse of healing, I am thrown off track by those around me. I have nowhere to go where I can be myself permanently and heal.

Mainly stress, broken childhood, subconscious programming, love addiction, bipolar. A lot of pain, perhaps undiagnosed physical issue. I don't know. I just feel terrible for a long time and can't change patterns. I feel I have tried everything everyone else says and it just leaves me more frustrated and lost myself in the process even more. I want to be free of pain. And the strain. And negative circumstance. From my family and society. Trapped.

Doing the wrong thing. Autism. Myopia. So many labels. Fear. Criticism. Negativity. Giving a **** about what other people think. Low self-esteem. Toxic environment. Toxic relationships. Broken spirit. My first love. Abandonment issues. Core trauma. Core shame. Mental strain. Physical tiredness. Lots of things I don't feel I can explain it all or get it across enough. Communication issues. Not being able to do the work required for the dream. Or doing the work and not getting enough reward. Not wanting to do this any more. Feeling I deserved better. It should be easier. Hating all of the judgemental idiots around me and my existence.

No one else listening or following through on word. Feeling pointless to live as I am. Ending up scammed, homeless, worthless. Given up on dreams. Not quick or energetic enough. Not enough belief or support system. No high experiences. No mentor. Nowhere to run to. Nowhere to hide. Family a mess. Country a mess. Society a mess. Doctors a mess. Career non existent. Not enough strength to fight. Dont want to go to lawyers. Tired of being abused and taken advantage of. No one caring. People being idiots. Not being able to emotionally deal with it. Being stuck here. Idiots dragging me down.

Like simple daily tasks too much too do. Overwhelmed. Can't get enough food on time. No peace or love. Hard. Always ****ing hard. Never easy.

[Imperator]

Getting anxious after being vulnerable and having no response.

[Aknaton]

I see. I am a Christian and will offer you some interesting advice. You need the peace that Jesus Christ gives. My first opinion would be to call on Him with all that you have experienced, with the aim of dumping them on Him.

My other advice would be what you experience is a lack of Willpower and Grounding, or for those in yoga, lack of fire and earth. You would need to take up some form of physical exercise such as the Occult practice of doing Yogic postures and elemental or raja yoga based meditation, with the focus on the body postures. Avoid the Pranayama part because with your explained condition, you could get mad easily.

If yoga isn't interesting, then take up a discipline based body system such as martial arts, boxing etc. All that you need is to pass through the hymen of fear and resistance to "face the challenge and punch it in the nose."

Thirdly, and this will be my last and least important, is to take up ceremonial magic from a competent magician; especially from the Golden Dawn or Dion Fortune order of things.

You may pick one or any of the combination of these advise. Challenges are what make life to be life and to know that one is living. Overcoming them brings joy, being overcome constantly can cause suicidal tendency. A true soldier stands and fights!

Compliments of the Season.

[Imperator]

Originally Posted by Aknaton

I see. I am a Christian and will offer you some interesting advice. You need the peace that Jesus Christ gives. My first opinion would be to call on Him with all that you have experienced, with the aim of dumping them on Him.

Would you help by commanding 100% restoration of my eyes in the name of Jesus Christ?

[Aknaton]

I admire your faith. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, and by the Anointing of the Holy Spirit, I command Restoration of your eyes.
May the our Lord, who paid for our healing on the Cross of Calvary, send His Word to heal your eyes.

Indeed if you are Christian, you can read 1 Peter 2:24 over water and wash your eyes with that water.