How do you Forgive and let go?

[dream jo]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

There is nothing wrong with you and how you deal with your situation, dream jo. There's nothing wrong in feeling angry - it is just as "spiritual" as feeling "not angry".

But it is an anger you must somehow get rid of to find peace in yourself some day. There are lots of way without forgiving. If you forgave the person she or he might do it again.

he did do it agane 2 othrs he did im hopin karmaa gets him bt i od i fond my healin tart crds not bean on till lst nite im goin 2 us thm fe day till i no wear i am

Originally Posted by knightoflenity

The OP feels the requirement to uphold a forgive & forget attitude - disappointment can be a large factor here where you simply can't fathom why you were chosen by the theif. Speaking generally regarding forgive & forget your not always going to be angry but disappointed.

I get that Knight, and if you are just one or the other than you have less to forgive, it seems to me.

Originally Posted by knightoflenity

But the concepts didn't help the relationship? Ah monks don't have relationships they view from afar.

Don't get your point here. The topic is forgiveness, not LIST EVERY RULE IN RELATIONSHIPS. And if you want to hear all about my failed marriage, I just love talking about myself and all my failings, so just say the word.

Originally Posted by knightoflenity

Is that a direct quote from somewhere - again its not really true - a person in a plane crash isn't a cannibal but circumstance drives the need to survive. People act & react to situations & circumstances. I have stolen but am not a theif by nature.

Again, don't see how that relates to what I wrote.


.

[Raziel]

I broke this down again:

Originally Posted by Kioma

Do not start out thinking people are just what you think they are.

Is that a direct quote from somewhere?

Originally Posted by Kioma

Get to know them first. Trust people to be who they are. You will never be disappointed..

- again its not really true - a person in a plane crash isn't a cannibal but circumstance drives the need to survive.
People act & react to situations & circumstances. I have stolen but am not a thief by nature.

I.e people wear all sorts of hats or masks. Yes you can not presume that the pretty girl is going to be a great wife without getting to know her for a long time however she might still leave you if your working away too much or not paying her attention - doesn't mean that she is the type that will always walk but push the right buttons ...

.

Originally Posted by knightoflenity

Is that a direct quote from somewhere?

Does it matter? How about if I say it's paraphrased from "Don't judge a book by it's cover"?

Originally Posted by knightoflenity

I.e people wear all sorts of hats or masks.

Agreed. This is why one shouldn't assume, but just let a person BE without expectation, and let them express who they are. If you try to impose expectations on them, you're bound to be disappointed.

For example, lately I've found myself in the position of having to say: "I am not your enemy. I'm just a guy making conversation. I like to dialogue. That's what I do. If you'd like to discuss this further - I'd love to! If you'd rather just monolog, let me know - I'm good with that too."


.

[Shivani Devi]

By understanding that some associations are just not meant to be, no matter how much you'd like it to be otherwise.

It would be a great, albeit boring world if everybody got along and some people just won't like you for no apparent or discernible reason, but it just is what it is.

We tend to overestimate others, hold them in a much higher esteem than their behaviour deserves, then become disappointed when they don't live up to our expectations. We hope they will 'change' to become more responsible, more tolerant or accepting. Then we project our own limitations on them.

If any change is to occur, it will come from deep within themselves, with or without our influence or involvement and it will happen in their own time and way, not ours.

We often don't have the time, patience or inclination to wait around for that to happen, even if it ever does, and so the best thing that can be done is to say goodbye with all of the love and blessings in our heart.

We say "I am sorry if I did anything to upset you, but I can't hang around forever...I realise we both need to move forward and have different paths ahead of us. I love you and I forgive you, as much as I forgive myself, but it's time to say goodbye and I wish you joy, peace and a wonderful life" and if they allow it, hug them, walk away and just close that chapter in the book and start a whole new one.

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

By understanding that some associations are just not meant to be, no matter how much you'd like it to be otherwise.

It would be a great, albeit boring world if everybody got along and some people just won't like you for no apparent or discernible reason, but it just is what it is.

We tend to overestimate others, hold them in a much higher esteem than their behaviour deserves, then become disappointed when they don't live up to our expectations. We hope they will 'change' to become more responsible, more tolerant or accepting. Then we project our own limitations on them.

If any change is to occur, it will come from deep within themselves, with or without our influence or involvement and it will happen in their own time and way, not ours.

We often don't have the time, patience or inclination to wait around for that to happen, even if it ever does, and so the best thing that can be done is to say goodbye with all of the love and blessings in our heart.

We say "I am sorry if I did anything to upset you, but I can't hang around forever...I realise we both need to move forward and have different paths ahead of us. I love you and I forgive you, as much as I forgive myself, but it's time to say goodbye and I wish you joy, peace and a wonderful life" and if they allow it, hug them, walk away and just close that chapter in the book and start a whole new one.

Beautiful.

Acceptance that biggens our ego to a comfort well measured size.