Isolation or Comapnionship... Which is Better?

[dream jo]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

Not many people know the real me my family did not I was the odd one out because I was different. my companions were my dogs who I adored we would go for long walks every day,
I have friends many of them I could always go to their houses if I wanted.but I can be a very private person.
the only person who really knew me was my husband. when he passed,
I just concentrated on raising my kids and suing the health service.which I did.
I wont marry again I like my own company to much.

Namaste

i get u i do i wz a shy kid had more imagneryy frinded i didonly real frinds i had got me i wz odd 1 ourt i wz wish had a grt targtt for bullys it did its bean jokee iv got pyscicc jean off moms sidee i hav evn off dad coz he wz bit pyscick 2 he did get me he did
but my own comneyy evne comeyy of spirtss i m ok on i am

[God-Like]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

Hey there Daz. Well..no arguments there. It's sad but the mainstream paradigm is rather stifling and when you're on the short end of the stick, your options are too often: Step-N-Fetchit, unpaid labourer, free prostitute, all-round bootlicker, or all of the above. Errrrr....pass, LOL Hahahaha.....


This is true, and IMO it's almost always a factor in why partnerships fail...if one is happy in him or herself but the other cannot be, then the whole thing is still ultimately doomed.

Of necessity both folks need to be grounded, with all screws more or less intact and in place (not too many missing), or you've got one party suckered into (majority) rowing the boat. Which eventually leads the balanced party to one or more of the following...deep dissatisfaction, exploitation, anger/depression, burnout/ resentment, etc.

Until all parties realise there's no ownership and there's no dumping of your burdens or resentments onto others, or otherwise trying to exploit or shaft them, it's bound to end badly, no matter how we dress it up.

However, if we have two people who do take ownership for themselves and likewise reach out in love and caring but otherwise do what they need to do for themselves...then we have a vastly different and more liberating scenario, one that creates a circle of belonging which actually supports all parties on their journeys. If this were more the norm, our world would look quite different.



Not too many, I'd reckon and I completely agree...otherwise it's not appealing in the least. But I like to think we're in an age of transition in human relationship and consciousness whilst in transition to the new Age (Aquarius). Where that resonant energy between folks that you mention, which is beautiful but all too rare, has become a bit more common amongst humanity.

And actually, I do believe we are in an age of transition in our human relationships and consciousness. For one, being solid and on your own for any length of time is as you say requisite for being a grounded and centred person. So that will be ever more accepted and IMO ever more necessary to humanity's evolution and to better relationships.

I got a glimpse of the probable future recently...it was coming into reality much more strongly. It was a glimpse of how things as they exist today in fact change in ways that seem quite removed really from much of the callous, utilitarian ways we've seen of late and in recent decades.

Things in the future coming into being play out to essentially rub those more truculent, obstinate folks' faces (and pocketbooks) in the reality of their situation IF they continue to insist on degraded, exploitative arrangements and refuse to engage from a heart-led place. I keep meaning to write it up on my little members only thread...soon.

But I'd like to focus on the fact even in that scenario, the emerging balance of the energies were shifting ever more toward integrity and authenticity and away from power-over and control, at least in (or starting with) our personal relationships. The speed at which this all moves toward right alignment -- and where the balance of the focus lies -- is as always largely dependent on folks' willingness to grow up and take ownership, and consciously awaken to alignment with centre. But it's very much in line with choosing your reality...as we move forward, we can choose to live in authentic love and commitment, and value others equally to ourselves, or some part of humanity can increasingly involve itself ever more deeply in degraded, utilitarian arrangements.

Peace & blessings Dazza
7L

Haven't got much time to talk at the mo, but the dynamics and the politics behind relationships nowadays I think play an important part in the proceedings .

I suppose they always have, in the days of black and white tv's wives were supposed to put up with a lot of stuff and know there place

Other customs entertain teenage brides getting wed to 40 year old men

Many couples stay together for the children sake and some stay together as a financial arrangement ..

Such a deep subject really and much of what lies behind the scenes is a need of some kind .

I think it's interesting when a peep doesn't need another peep in their lives but it depends on why doesn't it .

There is so much to it I would say ..


x daz x

[eliana israel]

Being around a lot of people drains me as well. I can absolutely be myself when I am by myself. There is a balance needed because 100% loneliness is heartbreaking.

[Nature Grows]

Companionship is better.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by God-Like

Haven't got much time to talk at the mo, but the dynamics and the politics behind relationships nowadays I think play an important part in the proceedings .

I suppose they always have, in the days of black and white tv's wives were supposed to put up with a lot of stuff and know there place

Other customs entertain teenage brides getting wed to 40 year old men

Many couples stay together for the children sake and some stay together as a financial arrangement ..

Such a deep subject really and much of what lies behind the scenes is a need of some kind .

I think it's interesting when a peep doesn't need another peep in their lives but it depends on why doesn't it .

There is so much to it I would say ..

x daz x

Yes...too true!
All you've said point to the need-based reasons that have historically mandated some pretty unjust and seedy relationships where women were under a man's thumb.

We have only to look round the world to see developing nations and many reactionary factions in the US and Europe to see that many gents still fancy a return to yesteryear when women lacked rights and freedoms.

It was only in the last 25 years that marital rape was outlawed across the Western world and since then, most but not all other countries. Marital rape is still legal China, India, Indonesia, most middle eastern and many African countries...so probably at least half of the world's population.

It's no surprise that few in Scandinavia marry before having kids...as there is little financial need...so then it's really down to whether the partnership is real and stable and meaningful, i.e., not need-based. Clearly, many are not and so without an economic force to compel them into it, the women are not forced to stay in order to have and raise their kids. Nor are the gents forced to be responsible for their sexual outcomes i.e., kids...so they are free to coast into oblivion whilst dipping their wicks here & there, hahaha...

It's a sad commentary on the state of humanity in many ways but it's the honest choice we see many women making when they don't have to stay and when the gents have no real interest in taking responsibility and growing up. Choices no doubt being what they are, I would nonetheless lose desire for this sort of man literally as soon as I'd had my child because it's unappealing to be forced to raise him too

Now this bit is also interesting, agreed...

I think it's interesting when a peep doesn't need another peep in their lives but it depends on why doesn't it .


Yes. What comes to mind first is that this can definitely fit the definition of a casual or situational predator. There are many who don't desperately "need" anyone but are happy to use or exploit others if they can. This is not the sort of person most normal folk would willing get involved with...though of course it happens. Too often, the predators seek out the needy, but sometimes it's birds of a feather getting together before the whole thing goes up in flames

But if folks authentically love one another as people and accept each other as they are, they can befriend or partner with others from a place of parity and mutual respect and honour...rather than need or desperation or various projections of the mind or ego.

I think there's not enough of the latter as humanity is still learning what authentic love (aside from loving one's mum) really means towards one another simply as people and as friends, but especially in partnerships where it's almost unheard of for love to be authentic and not conditional. I might add it's also quite rare in opposite sex friendships, which are probably the rarest of all relationships much past uni age.

Hopefully humanity will learn to treat each other better all round, and especially between men and women, where authentic love for one another as people as friends first and foremost has always been -- and still is -- nearly nonexistent. Any who walk this way are truly breaking new ground for humanity, whether they realise it or not.

Peace & blessings
7L

[Torgo]

Isolation with occasional gatherings and booty calls peppered in between = winning combo.

That is, of course, unless you have a partner whom always makes your toes curl no matter what. Then having them around 24/7 is much more preferable.

[eliana israel]

Originally Posted by Torgo

Isolation with occasional gatherings and booty calls peppered in between = winning combo.

That is, of course, unless you have a partner whom always makes your toes curl no matter what. Then having them around 24/7 is much more preferable.

I'll take peppered booty calls lol having the same thing everyday, even if it's really good gets old.

[Torgo]

Originally Posted by eliana israel

I'll take peppered booty calls lol having the same thing everyday, even if it's really good gets old.

I disagree. It has nothing to do with things getting old. If you two really click, it's never old.

[Coastal~Light]

I do wonder at times myself

[Brucely]

Isolation in the short/medium term is better than companionship for a short/medium term.

But having a companion for the long term is better than being alone for the long term.