Why me? What purpose?...

Originally Posted by IsleWalker

Nadine--

The first "memory" was when we were being read A Light in the Forest in third grade. On the front was a picture of a forest with the sunight streaming through. I was mesmerized by that cover. I began to remember running through the trees (with someone), sun streaming down, closing my eyes and still seeing the sun flicker. It was extreme happiness.

Much later I "saw" this image while my daughter and husband were messing around with a Ouija board. It was a Native American/indigenous old man, maybe 65-70 with long gray hair, with the hair around his face pulled into bundles to keep it out of his face. He had bare somewhat sunken chest and some kind of leather harness on his back. I didn't really realize I had "seen' this until much later when I did a guided meditation to find out who my guide was. I thought I had seen him on TV or somewhere else, but eventually realized where I had "seen" him.

Eventually I realized he was the one I was with in the forest. We collected plants, and other things. He taught me about life as it happened. These things I have just "felt" since then.

And I realized that I had had a hard time accepting his death even though he died at a relatively old age. I was his apprentice but grieved so much after he died that I couldn't do what I was supposed to do. I didn't trust my own skills without him.

Since then I've recognized the same kind of relationship with a sweet-faced woman in Mongolia and several others. In this life I lost my mom at 7 to schizophrenia. She had been my spiritual mentor also. She didn't die but I wasn't allowed to express any grief over her being gone so I eventually "killed her off" in my heart. It has caused me trouble, so it's an example of a preexisting "issue" that played itself out in several lives.

I get a weird kind of feeling in my heart (I call them heart pulls) when I recognize some place or piece of a past life. It's love I feel for that life. I've gotten them watching International House Hunters --seeing this little cottage in Greece, or when doing research on ancestry.com. There were relatives I would research and would see a scene from their life while doing it. It's so subtle that I am sometimes not sure I've seen it and I try to convince myself I was just picturing what I was reading about.

But now I don't question so much when I have those feelings about a place or person. So I've got bits and pieces of a bunch of different times/lives. For me, they are all about "home"--about a place where I love the natural world around me or the "family" that I am with. Seems to be some issue about not leaving them.

Maybe it's why I'm such a homebody now!

Your very strong feelings about fear of loss of your mother are unusual. Most kids don't have those feelings unless there has been an issue in the past. And 3 or 6 years old sounds too early to have had that kind of fear.

The feelings of relief and joy after the scare sounds to me like reassurance by your guides/helpers. I've had some confirmations that that is true for me. Saggi once did an auric reading. At the end of it she said my guide covered me in a cloudy pink energy --to show me the love inside. At that moment I was in the middle of the livingroom and felt this strong, teary emotion go through me. I thought, "What the heck was that from?" I even noted it in my journal.

Later, when Saggi sent me my reading, I went back and looked at the time she sent it. I had gotten that feeling about 10:30 and she had emailed me at 11:00.

As far as kids having fears about losing their parents, I had a best friend when I was 7 who never wanted to sleep away from her home. When I asked why she said she didn't want anything to happen to "Mommy and Daddy". I thought it was weird at the time. My siblings made fun of her for being a baby. But her father died when she was 11. So, maybe she knew something we didn't.

OK. Done prattling on. Now you're prolly sorry you asked!

I just think you have some great pointers to past lives already and you have the abilities to further them--and other abilities. Trust what you feel. Pay attention to those small things that stick in your mind. To me every "random" memory we have when we were younger, or that doesn't seem to be memorable--but is--is important. Usually, with time, there are pieces of the memory that we remove because we think they can't be possible. But they are important clues that something important happened. Otherwise, you wouldn't remember this "random" thing.

OK. Done!! I know everyone hates these long posts.

Take care.

Lora

Ooh Lora that's absolutely amazing! What an interesting life (or many lives) you've had! And don't be silly about it being a long story, they're always the best ones!

Yes you're right about it being odd me having those feelings when I was little. I literally remember being like that since I was old enough to understand my surroundings. I think the other half of that though is when I had sleepovers at my older sisters house and her kids, it always ended up being traumatic from one reason or another. Also, having all these visions so young made me scared for years of being alone at night.

Even when I was only about 5, if me and my mother were out shopping and she said I could get some candy as a treat, i'd just 'know' if she was struggling for money and i'd say no then go and put the candy back. Like I said, being scarily old beyond my years is an understatement!



Thanks for sharing all your stories! Love hearing them

[IsleWalker]

Nadine--

I tried to add a little section to the last post but it got lost in posting ozone somehow!

I am sort of curious if anyone else ever has this happen.

I have something that I think is "messages" from my subconscious. It's like I'll wake up several days in a row and realize that I'm seeing something --either a diagram of some type or words--in my head.

One time I saw a stick figure of a house with a plus sign (+) and "Athens". So--Athens Home was the message. I can't remember if this preceded or followed my feeling about the white cottage in Greece.

One morning I realized I had been seeing a series of orbs, but they were always in the same relationship to each other each time. Some were larger and some were smaller. I thought it might have to do with my Soul Family or something.

I got up that morning and drew them in Word in my journal. Then I went to look it up on the Internet. Somehow I searched for Arcturus and there was a diagram of the star-system of Arcturus that looked exactly like I had drawn!

Now even if you're skeptical and say that I must have researched it before (which I had when I had named these two raven I would see on my walks Argus & Arcturus. That was weird even for me and I didn't remember if Arcturus was a Latin or a Greek god of some type.)--but even if I had researched it, why was my subconscious pointing it out to me?

I find these kind of messages sort of crude and not containing lots of other information with them. Like, for me, they aren't quantum pieces of information with feelings/knowings/thoughts/visions attached, but are just only what I see. So, for these I have less feeling attached. It's my least favorite way of getting information because I don't get later feelings that tell me I'm on the right track.

Does this mean I am Arcturian? IDK. I have seen a lot of orange orbs and have felt they provided healing--which is supposedly an Arcturian and Sirian specialty.

I just wonder if other people have ever experienced this kind of thing. Have you?

The part you said about knowing that your Mom didn't have money--is part of your gifts--clairesentience. I'm sure you knew that already. Like I said, you have a lot to work with, skills-wise, so it should be a great adventure to be finding things out with what you have.

Thanks for listening, Nadine. I'm glad you offered your story to everyone. Maybe others will trust what they have experienced more.

Later.

Lora

Originally Posted by IsleWalker

Nadine--

I tried to add a little section to the last post but it got lost in posting ozone somehow!

I am sort of curious if anyone else ever has this happen.

I have something that I think is "messages" from my subconscious. It's like I'll wake up several days in a row and realize that I'm seeing something --either a diagram of some type or words--in my head.

One time I saw a stick figure of a house with a plus sign (+) and "Athens". So--Athens Home was the message. I can't remember if this preceded or followed my feeling about the white cottage in Greece.

One morning I realized I had been seeing a series of orbs, but they were always in the same relationship to each other each time. Some were larger and some were smaller. I thought it might have to do with my Soul Family or something.

I got up that morning and drew them in Word in my journal. Then I went to look it up on the Internet. Somehow I searched for Arcturus and there was a diagram of the star-system of Arcturus that looked exactly like I had drawn!

Now even if you're skeptical and say that I must have researched it before (which I had when I had named these two raven I would see on my walks Argus & Arcturus. That was weird even for me and I didn't remember if Arcturus was a Latin or a Greek god of some type.)--but even if I had researched it, why was my subconscious pointing it out to me?

I find these kind of messages sort of crude and not containing lots of other information with them. Like, for me, they aren't quantum pieces of information with feelings/knowings/thoughts/visions attached, but are just only what I see. So, for these I have less feeling attached. It's my least favorite way of getting information because I don't get later feelings that tell me I'm on the right track.

Does this mean I am Arcturian? IDK. I have seen a lot of orange orbs and have felt they provided healing--which is supposedly an Arcturian and Sirian specialty.

I just wonder if other people have ever experienced this kind of thing. Have you?

The part you said about knowing that your Mom didn't have money--is part of your gifts--clairesentience. I'm sure you knew that already. Like I said, you have a lot to work with, skills-wise, so it should be a great adventure to be finding things out with what you have.

Thanks for listening, Nadine. I'm glad you offered your story to everyone. Maybe others will trust what they have experienced more.

Later.

Lora

Firstly before I reply to messages, I just absolutely need to say how amazing this place, and you people are!
I've known for about nearly 2 years now, that a spiritual awakening within me was happening, I guess I was scared and didn't know how to embrace it.
It started with an increase again of contact with the spirit world, seeing the number 11 in EVERYTHING and EVERYWHERE, then me and my boyfriend of 8 years split up. I was devastated, and it broke my spirit. I also have no shame in admitting I wanted to end my life - not the first time I've tried.

As much as i've had a wonderful, loving upbringing from my mother and i've been given some incredible gifts, there's been so much sadness and to this day, i've struggled to see my self-worth. I never understood how someone so fragile and with skills to help others, could be useless and so afraid. It's been a blessing for the last year, to discover myself and now I see why I chose to stay here, there's so much I have to do in my life...



Anyway, back on topic! The most recent things I can relate to what you said with Lora, would be intense images/feelings with it in my mind, and numbers.
It started a year back when I kept seeing in my mind a beautiful cottage in a village, surrounded by horses and it's so peaceful - the feeling of wanting to ride out on the horses or be with them was really strong. I couldn't figure out whether it was intended for me, or someone else.
But then, I got my answer months later when after finally ending a long painful divorce, my mother met a man and moved into his house - a cottage on private land next to a horse riding school/stables

After this would be the number 11, it's everywhere.

More recently though, and I told my mother & friends about this and also did a drawing, was a feeling of this house. Now, this house is SO beautiful when it starts to appear when i'm daydreaming, my eyes start watering it's that powerful. It's like I want to be there so bad it's unbearable. It's the most pretty, tiny old cottage with huge steps going down to it.. beautiful flowers around. A huge old, brown wooden door at the entrance, with old vine roses growing around it, but not in bloom, and those pretty old twinkly glass windows with wood around it. But it feels.... magical, you know? In the image it's always slightly sunny, but early morning when there's dewdrops covering everything.

Inside, it's very small and cosy. There's a lady with long grey/white hair, very spiritual looking. She's sat kneeling on a round multi-coloured orange rug by the open fireplace to her right, reading a book. There's a rocking chair just behind her, and a black cat is sleeping there. It also has big wooden beams on the ceiling.

Haha I have so much detail about it, but NO idea what it means or where I would ever find this house. Sometimes I feel like the woman in it, is me when I'm older, but not sure.



I guess it's just ANOTHER question we're stuck with, Lora!

Peace & Light to you
*~*~*~*~*

[IsleWalker]

Nadine--

Oh, that sounds like a lovely place. Maybe it is you! And you are definitely close to your mom. This is the second time you've foreseen a place she would live (and where you had lived).

The 11 thing: I know there have been many discussions on SF about seeing certain numbers on clocks, everywhere. I've had a similar thing (only it's hearing jets). I finally decided that is it something that spirit has once or twice gotten me to notice when I am connected, and thereafter it's a kind of sign that I am connected. I see it as a shortcut language where they remind me, "Oh, there you go again--you're connected to us."

I'm not sure everyone sees it that way and not sure what your number 11 means to you, but for sure there is this element of "noticing" to it. And I always wonder what first makes us look at the clock or pay attention to a license plate, etc. To me it's like those pieces of memories that we have discounted or decided didn't happen.

Hope you have fun here. I think maybe the suffering is so that we can empathize with others, and/or maybe to learn something useful to someone else. I'm sorry about your boyfriend and what it put you through.

Part of this whole spiritual thing for me has made me aware that, whatever happens in physical life, I am not alone. Why did I not know this before? It would have saved a lot of loneliness. It may help you with the separation fears.

Good luck. I'm gonna finish putting on this air gap faucet on our sink. It is in an impossible spot to reach and I keep stopping because I get frustrated. I know plumbers do this all the time--I should be able to! Arrggh!!

Patience, patience--wins the day!

Later.

Lora

I might actually put a bet on whether my mother will end up living in a house like this!

As for the whole 11 thing, that just absolutely fascinates me more than anything. I know there's a lot of significence about that number, and strangely it's reported people often notice it during times of huge change and emotional struggles; just as I did. Nothing more amazing than life huh?..

Good luck with the faucet job! Sounds soooo much fun Haha, yes and patience is definitely the key to anything. Even though i'm still the most impatient person ever...

For me it's 11:35pm right now, and after this last glass of wine I think a restful sleep calls. Lets see if the dream world brings anything tonight....


Take care, lora


Nadine

I haven't read all the replies, but it definitely sounds like you saw a past life experience to me. There is a good chance that it was you that you saw in the vision hundreds of years ago. You're parents, being in your soul group might have been your parents in that life too, or something similar and that is why you were all so attracted to that place. My thought on the maid is that she was a big part of your life back then, maybe even a nanny? It was not uncommon for a nanny to really be closer to a child then their parents were because kings and queens were not overly involved in their childrens rearing. She might have decided to be your guide in this life?

Originally Posted by Newfreedom9

I haven't read all the replies, but it definitely sounds like you saw a past life experience to me. There is a good chance that it was you that you saw in the vision hundreds of years ago. You're parents, being in your soul group might have been your parents in that life too, or something similar and that is why you were all so attracted to that place. My thought on the maid is that she was a big part of your life back then, maybe even a nanny? It was not uncommon for a nanny to really be closer to a child then their parents were because kings and queens were not overly involved in their childrens rearing. She might have decided to be your guide in this life?

Hi there


It was definitely a fascinating vision to have, especially with it being combined with an OBE, and only been 4 years old. It certainly leaves you with LOTS of questions the rest of your life, and that's why I came here. I've come across some great people, and it's helped to slowly put it in perspective now.


I agree with my parents being of some real importance in this life. My mum is someone very unique and special, and I don't think I would have been allowed to blossom spiritually or be who I am today, without her. She has this gentle, yet powerful relentless love and a strong belief in letting people be who they want to be


I'm with you on it being a maid or even a Nanny, it's just from the vision I can't work out whether I was the woman, or the little girl.
I know that back in earlier centuries, children had a Governess that looked after them, but i've researched this online recently and I'm not sure the clothing is the right era as what I saw. This nanny/maid appeared dressed as more in the 18th/early 19th century, to this day I can still remember exactly what she wore.

As I mentioned in earlier posts, I was WAY beyond my years and intuitive about people from aged 2 onwards, so I always thought I was the lady. Yet, the little girl in the vision looked exactly like me... but if I saw visions of the woman, I couldn't have been her then?... Confusing

This is why I guess, i'm so keen at the moment to dig deeper and find out more about myself.


Thanks for the input!

Originally Posted by Tobi

Your story is amazing and fascinating! I was on the edge of my seat reading this! In fact, it would make a very good read if it were written as a novel. (Maybe one day? )

I am so glad you are healed now of the illness which you suffered as a little child. Thank goodness your parents got specialist help for you in France.

I obviously can't say for sure what this is. There are so many mysteries in the in-between-worlds, and in our own consciousness, and so many things we like to label and pigeon-hole with "names" -though often we only understand half of what they are about.
But my first thought was I wondered if you in this life could possibly be a re-incarnation of the other little girl?

i agree with this that you are the reincarnation of the little girls and the woman was your governess. I believe that if you were suppose to go into the light you would have. What is meant to be is meant to be. She may just be your guide now since she loved you so much in your pas life. you are very special and very blessed. Wonderful story. You are so descriptive, you should become a write.

Originally Posted by millergrls

i agree with this that you are the reincarnation of the little girls and the woman was your governess. I believe that if you were suppose to go into the light you would have. What is meant to be is meant to be. She may just be your guide now since she loved you so much in your pas life. you are very special and very blessed. Wonderful story. You are so descriptive, you should become a write.

Hi

Yes I agree too! Fascinating isn't it, when those of us blessed enough to have visions of past lives, experience it. To this day it still overwhelmes me.

I think I must have meant something really special to my Nanny/Governess, and I would hope she is still by my side to this day. Although, I must admit I haven't seen her since I was a child.

Thankyou so much or your kind words, too