Do nice people finish last?

[Xan]

Sometimes people think being caring and nice means being passive and/or avoiding caring for yourself as well.

When you go deeper into yourself and your inner heart you'll discover the strength of love as well as the empathy.

Here's how: Heart Meditations - http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=4106


Xan

Do nice people finish last?

- In my opinion, I say not necessarily. If you regard 'Nice' for a person who puts others first, before themselves, like myself, I still say its depends. We finish when the work is complete. Finish meaning to depart from earth back to the spirit 'To die'.

Don't let people take you for granted, meaning to expect you to be there for them, without gratitude, or thanks. Do what ever you need to feel spiritual gratification, and remember like my mother says 'You cannot help everyone, there are some people who cannot be helped', and this is true. You need to know when to say No, this doesn't make you a negative person, it just sets your boundaries between you, and people who leech on to your energy.

Can you explain how your own life has suffered by holding the door open & being empathetic?

Being empathetic doesn't mean allowing others to abuse us or being a doormat for others.

What finishing last or finishing first is would be very useful to define.

Originally Posted by psychoslice

If you let yourself suffer because of others, then stop letting others make you suffer, if you can't help yourself, you cannot help others.

I agree that we need not allow others to take advantage of us. If we do allow others to take advantage of us it is a co-operative experience.

Originally Posted by not human

...Everybody has their own best interests at heart, that is the nature of the game. ...

Everyone having their own best interests at heart doesn’t inherently make necessary abusing others.

Originally Posted by Distortedsoundz

Nice people don't finish last, weak people finish last!

What finishing last or finishing first is would be very useful to define.

Originally Posted by mattie

Everyone having their own best interests at heart doesn’t inherently make necessary abusing others.

hahahaha I was wondering when you would get to me...and no that is correct I wasn't meaning that it is a dog eat dog experience valuing ones self...the old saying one must love oneself before one can love another...

[Smiler]

NH .. One must know one self first IMO :)

G"day Mate :)

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by not human

Sorry but that expression is silly.Everybody has their own best interests at heart, that is the nature of the game. Most of the time if you are getting shafted for being 'nice' it is probably that you are operating out of fear and you are being 'nice' hoping to avoid pain. However fear is a huge target and there are plenty of eager archers out there. Genuine caring and empathy has nothing to do with being 'nice'

Since you said "everyone" which includes me, I will have to take exception to this.
If that is how you are.........fine. It is not my nature and never has been nor was it the firemens nature that ran into the collapsing twin towers to save strangers in need.

[NightSpirit]

Originally Posted by mysterious

Since I feel like I do. How are you supposed to be empathic and sensitive if you hold the door open for everyone and subsequently your own life progression suffers?

Why do you do this? Having asked this...there are times i also do the same, but rarely now do i allow another not from my family, walk over the top of me without noticing i was there...if you get my drift?

You my dear, come first. If you don't follow this rule of the thumb then you will always be a doormat for others to wipe their feet on. Without you there, they have no target, but will merrily find another like you.

You are the most important person...Numero Uno...first and foremost. Take care of you first and dont allow others to take advantage of that. There's a huge difference between being empathic and being a sacrificial lamb. Stand up and say "NO MORE!" They will soon get the message and you will then be working in your own authentic power.