How to be less shy

Hi I'm so shy, how can I be less shy?

Shyness tends to be an exaggerated form of self-consciousness; as you know, feeling awkward and uncomfortable in company. One way I know to offset this is to switch focus. Try becoming more aware of who you are with and their reality. You will see that it's not possible to maintain shyness AND do this. (Very often what you feel is so obvious to you, e.g. nerves is not to others unless you give it away by actions/revealing words). At a party, a good tactic is to ask them about themselves. This gives you time to compose yourself and you will feel more relaxed because the emphasis is not on yourself.

There is also a self-esteem component to shyness. Perhaps you can remind yourself of your virtues/compliments received and fully "own"/acknowledge this. You could try stretching yourself slightly in doing something that might boost your confidence. There is an affirmations section too here. I would choose one that is believable and, hence, would resonate and "take".

[seeker89]

Hi heartsmart,

I know how you feel - I've dealt with varying degrees of shyness since I was very young, and I'd like to offer you something that may be of assistance. It's quite simple and, if used correctly, can be a powerful and valuable tool: Body Language.

If you observe yourself for just a little while, you'll notice that your body language and state of mind tend to be in harmony with each other, by which I mean when you're in a certain state of mind, you're likely to find your body reflecting that. For example, if you were feeling shy, your body language would likely reflect that in some way, such as your head hanging low and your hands resting in your pockets as you walk around.

But, I learned that this process can work both ways - It is absolutely possible to change your state of mind by simply altering your body language in ways that bring about the desired mental state. So, if you want to feel more confident within yourself, try making a conscious effort while going about your day to hold your head up high, keep a good, strong posture, and stay grounded. If you keep this practice up it's very likely you'll notice a higher level of confidence within yourself before long. It's a sort of "fake it 'til you make it" kind of thing.

There are many resources available online and in books about Body Language - I recommend checking out your local library

Best wishes.

[immortal coil]

I think you have to first figure out why you are shy. Then find the solution to that problem.

So I'll be the first to ask the question: Why do you think you're shy?

[Mystik]

I am shy in certain social situations and usually only for the first minute or so. When I realize no one will bite me or laugh at me I'm usually ok.

One thing I will say is try to blend it with the crowd(if it is in a crowd situation that you are worried about). I don't mean try to act like everyone else just sort of talk about what they are talking about and add to the conversation.

Another thing is to mirror people. Stand the way they are standing, use similar body language and posture and try to match your breathing to theirs. Also try to look through them instead of at them. You want to make eye contact and be consistent with it but not too much. You need to look away sometimes. Also talk in the same tone they are. You want to be careful that you are being similar to them and what they are doing without being a copy cat. Don't make it too obvious. Also, get people to talk about themselves as much as possible. Here's an example "so tell me about such and such." What is it you like about such and such."