Disciplinary Action

[Shivani Devi]

...one of the many things I lack.

My mental health outreach nurse came for her usual fortnightly visit and her question to me was "why aren't you doing your physiotherapy exercises at home like you were told to do?"

I mean, I was totally honest by telling her I wasn't doing them, so I was equally honest in my reply - "I'm just way too lazy".

Then she's like "oh well then, good health or bad health - your choice".

I'm one of these people who eat when hungry, sleep when tired, do yoga and meditation 2-3 times a week at any time of the day and usually when I have nothing better to do.

Nurse is like "nothing better to do would be all the time, wouldn't it?"

She does have a point.

She continued..."no wonder your body is in a total mess and your nerves are completely shot. The body, mind AND spirit needs regularity and routine to heal itself and function at its best - just ask any athlete that".

She had another point.

She really laid the boot in with 'points'. lol

In regards to meditation and yoga (she does it)- she's almost 70, has the body and energy of a 40 year old and still works 6 hours, 3 days a week doing community nursing...I like her.

She's like "you need to set yourself a time to do things (something my Guides have already said to me) and even if you devote say 1 hour of your day for yoga/meditation - that's only 7 hours out of 120".

Well that point is partially correct because you can minus about 40 of those hours for sleep but it's still only a tenth of the time.

Getting myself into a routine, a strict routine is going to be hard, because for the past 20 years, I have been a total 'go with the flow' person and while that may be good for the 'hippies' and 'counter cultural revolutionaries' it's not a good thing for a spiritual aspirant and it is very taxing on the body and mind.

My nurse said "It's like the body not getting something it needs at one time, then getting something it doesn't need at another time....no wonder your nerves are bad".

Another point..

It's not like I am going to get up at 4am and meditate because I'll just fall asleep again. For me, the day doesn't even start until 7am - 10am, but I need to get into the habit of setting my alarm for 6am and going to bed no later than 10pm. 10pm to 6am sleep is a good pattern.

With that extra hour or three in the morning, I should be able to find time to do meditation and yoga and all I need to do before breakfast (which I do not eat).

Upon hearing that I did not eat breakfast (mostly because my whole digestive system is still way to sluggish to digest food after sleeping) my nurse admonished me with a "naughty girl - no wonder you crash after your midday meal".

So, after making all my new year's resolutions - none of which were any real 'practical goals' whatsoever, I realised that my body is aging and getting on and I understood why a lot of old people seem to have a certain time for everything - it's because they listen to their bodies more.

Another reason why discipline is difficult to establish and maintain is because of the whole guilt trip one goes on if they miss a day or two, then meditate for three hours the following day to 'catch up on missed meditation' but my nurse said,

"If you miss a few days, so what? It's better to miss than to miss-out by not doing anything at all...still, it is your choice, do you want to suffer or do you want to get better and heal...because if you do nothing, it will be the former...and for your whole life it will be the former...until you get yourself into a routine of establishing good habits".

I mean, I already had a 'bad habit' routine going of sorts, so I know I am not totally incapable of this...it's just my egoic mind rebelling and saying "how dare you try and put me in my place through discipline, routine and ritual...how dare you..."

This is what it's all about though isn't it? to tell your ego to go jump and to ignore all protestations of mind...because those 'bad habits' have totally rewired the brain into believing - "this is the way it is, so this is the way it should be forever and ever amen".

Thing is, that if I listen to my 'egoic mind' which says "just relax babe, you don't need to meditate every day" or "Don't worry about eating if you don't feel up to it" or "You can sleep in for an extra hour - your body probably needs it and nobody is going to know or even care"...yeah, it is like Satan leading Christ away from God...."Don't worry Jesus, if you listen to me, I can be your God"...

However, I am getting off-track. I realise that last little bit of ego I need to kill is the one that totally lies for my own 'good' or makes beautiful excuses because it's all sugar-coated waffle - "you fully deserve to indulge in self-gratification, because you owe it to yourself to love yourself more and be the best you can be"....this voice is an illusion! It is the voice of a demon who is using my self-belief and self-confidence as a tool for me to indulge in my laziness and irregularity even more....and all that does is lead to massive guilt that I am not doing like I said I would or I 'promised myself'.

So, my nurse is going to bring me a huge daily planner (for a week) which has every hour of the day written on it and she's going to watch me fill it in next fortnight...she understands all of this now.

I mean, I am never lazy when I actually have to do something or need to do something - like I am meticulous with my housework and I attend to family issues as they arise, and I do meditate and do spiritual things - like going to meditation and yoga courses, but to continue doing them at home, it's like I need a bomb placed under me.

I realise that if I am going to meditate, it needs to be at exactly the same time every day, even if it's for 30 minutes only, or else I am way better off not meditating because the whole benefit is in the discipline and in the ritual and in the technique and not in regards to the actual meditation itself.

Thank you for reading.

[sky]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

...one of the many things I lack.

My mental health outreach nurse came for her usual fortnightly visit and her question to me was "why aren't you doing your physiotherapy exercises at home like you were told to do?"

I mean, I was totally honest by telling her I wasn't doing them, so I was equally honest in my reply - "I'm just way too lazy".

Then she's like "oh well then, good health or bad health - your choice".

I'm one of these people who eat when hungry, sleep when tired, do yoga and meditation 2-3 times a week at any time of the day and usually when I have nothing better to do.

Nurse is like "nothing better to do would be all the time, wouldn't it?"

She does have a point.

She continued..."no wonder your body is in a total mess and your nerves are completely shot. The body, mind AND spirit needs regularity and routine to heal itself and function at its best - just ask any athlete that".

She had another point.

She really laid the boot in with 'points'. lol

In regards to meditation and yoga (she does it)- she's almost 70, has the body and energy of a 40 year old and still works 6 hours, 3 days a week doing community nursing...I like her.

She's like "you need to set yourself a time to do things (something my Guides have already said to me) and even if you devote say 1 hour of your day for yoga/meditation - that's only 7 hours out of 120".

Well that point is partially correct because you can minus about 40 of those hours for sleep but it's still only a tenth of the time.

Getting myself into a routine, a strict routine is going to be hard, because for the past 20 years, I have been a total 'go with the flow' person and while that may be good for the 'hippies' and 'counter cultural revolutionaries' it's not a good thing for a spiritual aspirant and it is very taxing on the body and mind.

My nurse said "It's like the body not getting something it needs at one time, then getting something it doesn't need at another time....no wonder your nerves are bad".

Another point..

It's not like I am going to get up at 4am and meditate because I'll just fall asleep again. For me, the day doesn't even start until 7am - 10am, but I need to get into the habit of setting my alarm for 6am and going to bed no later than 10pm. 10pm to 6am sleep is a good pattern.

With that extra hour or three in the morning, I should be able to find time to do meditation and yoga and all I need to do before breakfast (which I do not eat).

Upon hearing that I did not eat breakfast (mostly because my whole digestive system is still way to sluggish to digest food after sleeping) my nurse admonished me with a "naughty girl - no wonder you crash after your midday meal".

So, after making all my new year's resolutions - none of which were any real 'practical goals' whatsoever, I realised that my body is aging and getting on and I understood why a lot of old people seem to have a certain time for everything - it's because they listen to their bodies more.

Another reason why discipline is difficult to establish and maintain is because of the whole guilt trip one goes on if they miss a day or two, then meditate for three hours the following day to 'catch up on missed meditation' but my nurse said,

"If you miss a few days, so what? It's better to miss than to miss-out by not doing anything at all...still, it is your choice, do you want to suffer or do you want to get better and heal...because if you do nothing, it will be the former...and for your whole life it will be the former...until you get yourself into a routine of establishing good habits".

I mean, I already had a 'bad habit' routine going of sorts, so I know I am not totally incapable of this...it's just my egoic mind rebelling and saying "how dare you try and put me in my place through discipline, routine and ritual...how dare you..."

This is what it's all about though isn't it? to tell your ego to go jump and to ignore all protestations of mind...because those 'bad habits' have totally rewired the brain into believing - "this is the way it is, so this is the way it should be forever and ever amen".

Thing is, that if I listen to my 'egoic mind' which says "just relax babe, you don't need to meditate every day" or "Don't worry about eating if you don't feel up to it" or "You can sleep in for an extra hour - your body probably needs it and nobody is going to know or even care"...yeah, it is like Satan leading Christ away from God...."Don't worry Jesus, if you listen to me, I can be your God"...

However, I am getting off-track. I realise that last little bit of ego I need to kill is the one that totally lies for my own 'good' or makes beautiful excuses because it's all sugar-coated waffle - "you fully deserve to indulge in self-gratification, because you owe it to yourself to love yourself more and be the best you can be"....this voice is an illusion! It is the voice of a demon who is using my self-belief and self-confidence as a tool for me to indulge in my laziness and irregularity even more....and all that does is lead to massive guilt that I am not doing like I said I would or I 'promised myself'.

So, my nurse is going to bring me a huge daily planner (for a week) which has every hour of the day written on it and she's going to watch me fill it in next fortnight...she understands all of this now.

I mean, I am never lazy when I actually have to do something or need to do something - like I am meticulous with my housework and I attend to family issues as they arise, and I do meditate and do spiritual things - like going to meditation and yoga courses, but to continue doing them at home, it's like I need a bomb placed under me.

I realise that if I am going to meditate, it needs to be at exactly the same time every day, even if it's for 30 minutes only, or else I am way better off not meditating because the whole benefit is in the discipline and in the ritual and in the technique and not in regards to the actual meditation itself.

Thank you for reading.

Hi Necro have you ever tried to practise Qigong ?
It's relaxing/medative and also gentle exercise all in one. This might help you, if your intersted PM me as I teach Qigong and could advise you where to start..

[Shivani Devi]

I was thinking about doing Tai Chi at my local Neighbourhood centre...so, I guess the main/only question I would have is 'What is the difference between Tai Chi and Qigong?'

I shall still look into it though and thanks for taking the time to reply.

[sky]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

I was thinking about doing Tai Chi at my local Neighbourhood centre...so, I guess the main/only question I would have is 'What is the difference between Tai Chi and Qigong?'

I shall still look into it though and thanks for taking the time to reply.

Tai Chi is a Martial Art, Qigong is to enhance your health.
Go and see what style they are teaching first because there are lots of classes springing up which are called Tai Chi but are not the real thing.

I practise Yang Style, been doing it for 18 years, love it

[Gem]

Sounds like a great idea! More power to ya!

[peteyzen]

You need to thank that nurse, she sounds like a real diamond

[PlatitudePluto]

Yeah, she definitely sounds like a good person to help you with these issues. I don't think I'll ever have time for myself.

I think part of the problem at large is that we live in a society that tells us we need to work, work, work, do more, do more, do more! Have more, have more, have more! If I'm not the kind of person to handle living like that, people can look at me like a leper.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by peteyzen

You need to thank that nurse, she sounds like a real diamond

Yes, I did and she's a real diamond alright - in the rough.

Seriously though, I share this tale so it may help others understand things through my own eyes...like how discipline, regularity of practice and personal intent is the most important aspects of the meditation process and of course I knew this, but over 20 years, I let myself totally forget about it.

Meditation itself is a discipline, but to quieten the mind, it needs to know "this is meditation time"...just like after brushing teeth and prayers etc the bodymind knows "oh, I am doing this now - it must mean that it's bed time".

I share these inspirational stories as a living lesson and it's going to take a while for the new neural pathways to be formed, but this is what it's all about.

For a person to meditate for a few hours a week at any time of the night or day and say "I am not getting anywhere" there's a good reason for that.

I also read about people not having time to meditate. They musn't have good time management skills imho.

Set the alarm clock for half an hour before you usually get up and re-arrange those things you do after your evening meal.

If a person is working for 12-14 hours a day or has a very young family, I can understand it fully and this is why, in Hinduism, the texts say that meditation isn't really meant for grihasthas (family people) but for vanaprastha (retired people). It is said that there's too much going on in the life of a householder to quieten the mind...but I digress again.

I just hope my analogies convey purpose and intent more than being just a nice story.

Thank you so much for replying and I thank Gem and PlatitudePluto too. I shall get around to individual acknowledgment soon.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

Yes, I did and she's a real diamond alright - in the rough.

Seriously though, I share this tale so it may help others understand things through my own eyes...like how discipline, regularity of practice and personal intent is the most important aspects of the meditation process and of course I knew this, but over 20 years, I let myself totally forget about it.

Meditation itself is a discipline, but to quieten the mind, it needs to know "this is meditation time"...just like after brushing teeth and prayers etc the bodymind knows "oh, I am doing this now - it must mean that it's bed time".

I share these inspirational stories as a living lesson and it's going to take a while for the new neural pathways to be formed, but this is what it's all about.

For a person to meditate for a few hours a week at any time of the night or day and say "I am not getting anywhere" there's a good reason for that.

I also read about people not having time to meditate. They musn't have good time management skills imho.

Set the alarm clock for half an hour before you usually get up and re-arrange those things you do after your evening meal.

If a person is working for 12-14 hours a day or has a very young family, I can understand it fully and this is why, in Hinduism, the texts say that meditation isn't really meant for grihasthas (family people) but for vanaprastha (retired people). It is said that there's too much going on in the life of a householder to quieten the mind...but I digress again.

I just hope my analogies convey purpose and intent more than being just a nice story.

Thank you so much for replying and I thank Gem and PlatitudePluto too. I shall get around to individual acknowledgment soon.

Personally, I don't think you should thank the nurse, and I'm completely indifferent to being thanked, I was just thinking that we are fortunate in a similar way in that there is a lot of free time, though much of it is wasted, but the meditation to me is partly some time on the mat, but mainly it's 'getting real' about the mind's trickiness, such as the things we may tell ourselves like you mentioned. It's really just self-honesty in seeing things as they are, like seeing the 'little excuses' as our own bulldust that gets in the way. I mean, doing the routine of practice is great and beneficial and all that, but the deeper issue is the discipline, innit. That's the actual thing realised, and it is realised by taking an honest look at it... For me there's only one way forward. Goodbye computer forums.

Anyway, I was only going to say we are very fortunate to have such free time, but perhaps making much better use of it would be for the best.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Gem

Personally, I don't think you should thank the nurse, and I'm completely indifferent to being thanked, I was just thinking that we are fortunate in a similar way in that there is a lot of free time, though much of it is wasted, but the meditation to me is partly some time on the mat, but mainly it's 'getting real' about the mind's trickiness, such as the things we may tell ourselves like you mentioned. It's really just self-honesty in seeing things as they are, like seeing the 'little excuses' as our own bulldust that gets in the way. I mean, doing the routine of practice is great and beneficial and all that, but the deeper issue is the discipline, innit. That's the actual thing realised, and it is realised by taking an honest look at it... For me there's only one way forward. Goodbye computer forums.

Anyway, I was only going to say we are very fortunate to have such free time, but perhaps making much better use of it would be for the best.

As for 'goodbye computer forums' I have thought about it too, but then again, if I am going to discipline/regiment myself, going online and onto sites like this one, I can even make a time for doing that, like 1-2 hours every second or third day with no more than 6 hours per week and gradually decrease the time spent online until I can find a comfortable time every time.

I may even say "I am only going to go on SF for one hour before bed, so 9pm - 10pm is 'SF time'. This is better than leaving the site in my taskbar all day, checking up on it every 2 hours or so and replying to what I do for about 4-5 hours straight every day.

With discipline also comes moderation, but yep - free time, I have a LOT of it and the nurse wants to change that and so do I, really.

This year is going to be all about:

1. Meditation and spiritual pursuits
2. Aqua Aerobics
3. Getting my Reiki qualifications
4. Learning Tai Chi
5. Doing Yoga
6. Joining local social groups &
7. Going fishing (don't worry veggie people, there aren't any fish around here).lol

...and a lot of other things besides.

I just have to find things that interest me and that I want to do to fill in that diary/planner thing she's going to bring me in 2 weeks.

So yeah, I said thank you and I don't care for platitudes either - but I am always rummaging around for words to say after somebody is helpful, friendly and offers sound advice. I can say "thank you" I can say "pee off now" or I can say nothing and act like a rude a-hole....so I'd rather say 'thank you'.

So, I shall not thank you for your posts and contribution here as I am aware now that you won't appreciate it.