Since my twin flame came back...

jro5139 · #1 15-06-2019, 12:14 AM

So yeah since he came back, so much stuff has been coming up for me that I need to work on. First of all, I can't believe how fast my feelings came back for him. Then the lessons. I wonder if I am being tested?

I am trying to learn to control my emotions. And not freak out on him. Because I know that these are my issues, and not his. But god, this twin flame stuff is so hard. I guess what it comes down to is that I just want to be with him. I would love to have no expectations and I don't have expectations exactly, but I have feelings that will always be the same.
It's killing me that he is so far away. Since the day he contacted me, we have texted everyday. He at least sends a few texts everyday. And I know there is no reason to flip out if he doesn't text me back for a while or flip out because of this or that. I think I have a little PTSD from the situation with him before and waiting for him for so long... He assured me that he wants to see me and that it would not be years until that happens.

I am trying to distract myself from thinking about him all the time. I am trying to be calm and not have expectations, because I really do not know exactly what he wants. But I've decided that I only want to talk to him about that when I see him in person, no more of this trying to figure it out through texting. And stuff is coming up that I obviously need to work on, but it's stuff that he brings out of me, not necessarily the way I am with other men. So I'm not sure why I have to work on this stuff.

I don't want to freak out on him about all of this because like I said, I recognize what is my own issues. I guess I just needed to vent, thanks for listening.

ssdm1 · #2 15-06-2019, 04:04 AM

Yes, mine came back too, after decades of no contact at all. So I understand what you're saying about your feelings. I too was surprised at how quickly all that came back.

I think you are on the right track not having expectations and also wanting to talk to him in person. It's too easy to misinterpret something when just texting.

Rachella · #3 15-06-2019, 11:06 AM

I think you hit the nail on the edge with aknowledging the work you need to do on your emotions. I am in a different place than yours, in fact I could not be farther away from the other person. Still, I have had such an emotional release during the past weeks. I have also started telling myself: if there was a possibility, how could you handle a face to face conversation with them, if even the mere thought of them gets you so off kilter?
And you're completely right, you own your emotions, so it's your own responsibility to take care of them. Congratulations on the lucidity of thought you are showing in this process.
A conclusion I came for myself, is that very often I intellectualize things too much, while the body has its own intelligence that must not be overlooked. What is helping me at the moment is taking care of my body as if it were a child. Yoga, dance, pampering and recently I am trying acupuncture. It's amazing the quantity of information we can gather from our body, how identifying knots and tension can help in identifying long suppressed emotions and work better on their release.
I don't know if you have already tried any of these, but if you haven't maybe they're worth a try.
Of course, I am not saying that we need to heal in order to come together with the love of our life. We ourselves need to be the love of our life, and then the rest.
I remember your posts from the past and they have always be very insightful to me, so I am sure you are on the right path.
I wish you all the best

FairyCrystal · #4 18-06-2019, 01:22 PM

A Twin Flame connection runs much deeper than one with another man, so I think it's quite logical you experience a difference in what comes up.
Also, a TF relationship can only remain intact when it's interdependent, which means you have to take responsibility for your own thoughts, emotions, actions. Not always easy, but it's personal growth and taking control over your own life and happiness, and taking responsibility.
Another aspect is that especially with a TF your Soul desires to be in alignment. So you and your Higher Self wanting to be in alignment. That part also makes you want to do the work and to get it right. In a way we should always do that, regardless of a partner. It's just that a TF touches us so deeply that the part of us that longs to be 'whole' (a.k.a. in alignment with "self") gets triggered.
The only thing I feel you're going wrong is that you don't want to do it wrong for him. You should want to do it right for you! That's when you get to the place where you are empowered and can actually have an interdependent relationship with another. In other words: the best chance to have any love relationship work out well, and especially so with a TF relationship.
It cannot work if you still are trying to please him subconsciously by doing things right for him. That's an indication you are still afraid it's going away, that he won't stay, that he won't want you and so on.
That is a place of fear, lack of trust, lack of belief in yourself, lack of belief in your own worthiness.
Even if this is subtly present, it will still ruin a TF connection. In any other love relationship it may not be such a big deal if subtle only, but not in a TF relationship. In a way everything is/gets enhances in such a connection and the effect of such things is as such much greater too.

As for the rest, it sounds you're doing well! Aware of what's going on within you, trying to stay in the 'now', which is crucial to not panic and slip into fear.
I'd say, keep going! Enjoy the journey!

jro5139 · #5 18-06-2019, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

A Twin Flame connection runs much deeper than one with another man, so I think it's quite logical you experience a difference in what comes up.
Also, a TF relationship can only remain intact when it's interdependent, which means you have to take responsibility for your own thoughts, emotions, actions. Not always easy, but it's personal growth and taking control over your own life and happiness, and taking responsibility.
Another aspect is that especially with a TF your Soul desires to be in alignment. So you and your Higher Self wanting to be in alignment. That part also makes you want to do the work and to get it right. In a way we should always do that, regardless of a partner. It's just that a TF touches us so deeply that the part of us that longs to be 'whole' (a.k.a. in alignment with "self") gets triggered.
The only thing I feel you're going wrong is that you don't want to do it wrong for him. You should want to do it right for you! That's when you get to the place where you are empowered and can actually have an interdependent relationship with another. In other words: the best chance to have any love relationship work out well, and especially so with a TF relationship.
It cannot work if you still are trying to please him subconsciously by doing things right for him. That's an indication you are still afraid it's going away, that he won't stay, that he won't want you and so on.
That is a place of fear, lack of trust, lack of belief in yourself, lack of belief in your own worthiness.
Even if this is subtly present, it will still ruin a TF connection. In any other love relationship it may not be such a big deal if subtle only, but not in a TF relationship. In a way everything is/gets enhances in such a connection and the effect of such things is as such much greater too.

As for the rest, it sounds you're doing well! Aware of what's going on within you, trying to stay in the 'now', which is crucial to not panic and slip into fear.
I'd say, keep going! Enjoy the journey!

Oh thank you Fairy, I just knew you would have some great advice! I will keep your words in mind moving forward:) I'm pretty empowered and independent normally... I guess it took this twin flame thing to test me. And you are right about doing it for myself, absolutely.

Rachella and ssm1, thank you

FairyCrystal · #6 18-06-2019, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jro5139

Oh thank you Fairy, I just knew you would have some great advice! I will keep your words in mind moving forward:) I'm pretty empowered and independent normally... I guess it took this twin flame thing to test me. And you are right about doing it for myself, absolutely.

Rachella and ssm1, thank you

You're most welcome! Happy to hear you appreciate it