Bach remedy advice please

Hiya

Although I know other systems are as effective I really want to know about bach as that is the set that I have.

I am in a situation at work that is quite difficult but I know that I am not helping and I want to get over my side of the problem in the hope that if I change then the other person will have to change.

Please don't have a go at me for this, I know I am wrong and I am trying to work on it, but I also need to be gentle with me as I am prone to being very angry with myself.

This is the situation.

4 years ago I was given a job that was brand new for the company I work for. No-one else had done it and the hand over from the person who was doing it before was very limited. This means I have created almost all the systems.

When I first started I was terrified of the job and I fought through that fear to become very good at the job and quite confident.

3 years ago they brought someone in to "help" me but she refused to work using the systems and it was a nightmare... she left and I was hoping that her replacement would be better.... but although she uses the systems she is a nightmare in different ways.

Now I know I can't do anything about her, she is who she is. I need to work on my responses to the way she is.

The response I am most ashamed of (yes I am taking crab apple) is that I get all bristly whenever she does anything. I'm guessing it's jealousy. Ultimately I don't want any "help", I want to be left alone to get on with the job. I'm quite capable. It's very much a "get off, it's mine!!" response.

This has got to stop, it's making me unhappy having someone interfering with my "baby"... and that is not healthy. I need to learn to share.

I am thinking Holly would be the remedy for this, but I thought I had tried that and it didn't work... so maybe it's the wrong one.

I'm too close to this to work it out myself.... what do other people think??

Walnut -- to accept the change...
Beech -- for intolerance
Chickory -- for possessiveness and wanting others to conform to your standards

Originally Posted by Sungirl

Hiya

Although I know other systems are as effective I really want to know about bach as that is the set that I have.

I am in a situation at work that is quite difficult but I know that I am not helping and I want to get over my side of the problem in the hope that if I change then the other person will have to change.

Please don't have a go at me for this, I know I am wrong and I am trying to work on it, but I also need to be gentle with me as I am prone to being very angry with myself.

This is the situation.

4 years ago I was given a job that was brand new for the company I work for. No-one else had done it and the hand over from the person who was doing it before was very limited. This means I have created almost all the systems.

When I first started I was terrified of the job and I fought through that fear to become very good at the job and quite confident.

3 years ago they brought someone in to "help" me but she refused to work using the systems and it was a nightmare... she left and I was hoping that her replacement would be better.... but although she uses the systems she is a nightmare in different ways.

Now I know I can't do anything about her, she is who she is. I need to work on my responses to the way she is.

The response I am most ashamed of (yes I am taking crab apple) is that I get all bristly whenever she does anything. I'm guessing it's jealousy. Ultimately I don't want any "help", I want to be left alone to get on with the job. I'm quite capable. It's very much a "get off, it's mine!!" response.

This has got to stop, it's making me unhappy having someone interfering with my "baby"... and that is not healthy. I need to learn to share.

I am thinking Holly would be the remedy for this, but I thought I had tried that and it didn't work... so maybe it's the wrong one.

I'm too close to this to work it out myself.... what do other people think??

Bach is great but you also have to work on your ego. It's not jealousy so much as envy. You envy that she is on something that belongs to you. Though you hired her to help, you really don't want the help. You feel you can do it better.

I am in no way judging you. You are not much different that 80% of mankind, but the fact that you KNOW you want to change is the good part! :)

Read the book "A new earth" by Eckhart Tolle (the audio was nice as I listened to it in my car) It talks about ego and why our ego gets out of control and how to "observe" it and make changes. We will never "get rid" of our ego as it is necessary and sometimes helpful to us.

Buddhism is also another avenue. It is a way of life, not a religion. My husband is Buddhist and has really helped me a lot with my ego/competitive issues. I now border on the other side of balance LOL. It's not easy, but it is possible :) Wish you the best :)

oh, sorry
i thought this about the german composer...
i didn't think listening to this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipzR9bhei_o
produced any ill effects

Thanks for all the replies.

Iolite... thanks, hadn't thought of Chichory... it's one of those that I rarely use.. but I can totally see your logic. It's not the way I was taught of understanding that remedy but I can see where you are going.

I'm already taking Beech and Walnut. My colleague has some annoying habits so I am taking Beech for that. My boss can be a bit caustic so I am taking Walnut to protect myself from his stuff and to keep me strong in my self. But I can see how it would help me let go of the control.... which makes me wonder if Vine would also be helpful?

Laura.... yes this is very much about my ego, I am aware of that :) Bach remedies would help work on that as ego is very strongly connected to emotional state. I find I'm not one of those that can just decide to be different and need a little helping hand... hence the bach remedies ;)

I'll see if I can get hold of the Tolle book on audiobook, I do own it but never sit still long enough to read... I've also struggled with his writing style before. I must have picked up The Power of Now so many times and put it down again.

I am quite aware of my ego.. but can't seem to get to the stage of changing it... being a triple scorpio I am very emotionally driven so it's a battle to get past my emotions.. but I am working on it. As I always say "work in progress" and I am always working on it #sigh#.. I will get there in the end.

Thanks for all the advice... will tweak my remedy tomorrow and add the chicory :)