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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #11  
Old 14-10-2010, 03:21 PM
BlueSky BlueSky is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosewater
that makes perfect sense whiteshaman thanks!

You are very welcome!
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  #12  
Old 14-10-2010, 03:35 PM
Skull Skull is offline
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This may not fit all men, but a large percentage. We are not looking - period. At least not in the way women "look".

Women look for short term lust, yes, but always wanting lasting love, safety, home, family, excitement etc also.

Men just lust. Only after spending enough time with a lover does the woman's deeper desires filter through to the man. Then he may want what she wants - but it is an addition - not as natural as her multi-faceted desires.
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  #13  
Old 14-10-2010, 05:04 PM
John32241 John32241 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosewater
i realize all men are different but in general.. lol i can't figure men out!

The answer is actually quite simple. Every man wants to feel loved. The kind of love he received from his mother, that was an all accepting affection.

Now I realize that every relationship can be improved. The ladies may well know what that would be. Understanding how to do that is quite another story. Virtually every relation break up is due to ignorance about this subject. Sometimes I think that there is no desire to understand.

This is how I see it.

John
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  #14  
Old 14-10-2010, 06:11 PM
LaMont Cranston
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What men want...

Rosewater, You ask about a great subject, and I want to jump into the discussion, so here goes...

When I was younger, I was quite shy and inept with women. When I was about 30, I met the true love of my life, and we have been married for 36 years now (on November 28). After all this time, I am delighted to say that I still think my wife is great, and I love her more than ever.

This is not to say that there have not been problems and issues in our relationship. That's one of the things that relationships are about, but, mostly, they are about sharing your life with another human being the best way that you can.

I've also got to say that I would take issue with some of the other male posters on this thread. I don't want to be involved with a weak, submissive woman. By me, only weak men want that. I want to be involved with a woman who is strong and has a high degree of certainty about who she is and what she wants.

I want a woman who has a sense of humor (extremely important) and sees the importance of having fun in life.

I want a woman who will bring out the best in me. I believe that, somewhere in all of us, there is a desire to be the best individuals that we can. For me, that means being loving, kind, grateful, forgiving, compassionate and on and on. That doesn't mean that I am all of those things all of the time. Sometimes, we all "fall of the wagon," but when that happens, that's the time for such things as genuine forgiveness and apologies.

I agree with John32241 that virtually every relationship break up is due to ignorance. I disagree that there is no desire to understand. Most people do have that desire, but there's a lot of not very good information out in the world, and once people lose hope, they don't know where to go for better information.

In my experience, many people give up on their relationships too soon, thinking that the next one will be better. Usually, it doesn't work out that way. There's a lot to be said for hanging in and finding ways to have things be better.

OK, I hope that some of this is helpful. Take care...
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  #15  
Old 14-10-2010, 08:04 PM
Roselove Roselove is offline
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all great responses thank you!
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  #16  
Old 14-10-2010, 08:16 PM
LightFilledHeart
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Hi LaMont,


As I read your post I found myself nodding in the affirmative as a soft smile curved my mouth. It was as if I were hearing the voice of my beloved Twin-Soul and late husband who always said, "Give me a woman who knows who she is and the value of that over a submissive, mealy-mouthed, yes-woman ANY day!" It was as you said... he knew who HE was, and he wanted an equal life partner, not a clingy, empty vessel looking to him as if she could define herself simply by virtue of being his partner..!


Like you he also loved humor, and required that in a mate as well. We had many good laughs over the years and enjoyed the occasional teasing, bantering repartee.

I believe I did bring out the best in him with all the things you mention ...love, kindness, compassion, understanding, etc... but then he did likewise for me! Love does not coddle the loved one and make excuses for them... love demands what is highest and best in the one they love, for only can the loved one then be fulfilled! Of course we both knew how to forgive and to apologize.. we were NOT of the belief that "Love means never having to say your sorry", as the line from that famous old movie goes..!


We had 22 years of wedded bliss before he was taken, but that's not to say there weren't challenges or hard times.. of course there were! But our love was strong, committed, and forever. It never occurred to either of us to "bail" when the going got rough... we just worked to make it better. Leaving one relationship because you are dissatisified or because each and every one of your needs it not being met is a sure recipe for failure in a second. NO ONE can meet all another's needs... we are each responsible for doing that for ourselves, and/or for finding friends and family members to "fill in the blanks" if our mate is incapable of doing so. Abandoning a long term relationship that has withstood the test of time for a new and exciting one is the mark of an immature human being and an every more immature soul.


That's my truth. It may not be everyone's
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  #17  
Old 14-10-2010, 08:23 PM
Smiler Smiler is offline
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Hi Rosewater

I really like you thread.. I am a woman and I have no idea what a man wants .. I wonder what I want in a man more.. compassion, kindness, strength, loyality, empathy, passion, ambition to live his dream and allow me to live mine! Truth, trust . honesty... Eye contact >> Respect for each other as individuals, attraction! Humour a sense of spiritual belief or humanity..mmmm my list is rather big! But I believe if you have respect and something truly in common like morals values and beliefs the winters in the relationships soon turn to summers.. the disargreements teach each other that " hey I am me" ... The men I have meet have wanted what some of the guys have mentioned on your thread ( no offense guys this is not directed at you men on here) but have not been able to return what they desire!

Blessings
:)
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  #18  
Old 14-10-2010, 08:26 PM
Smiler Smiler is offline
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oh and ps... I am not a relationship jumper .. I tend to stay too long.. some tough times are more than tough .. they are just wrong!

Love does exist.. think about what you want :)

xo
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  #19  
Old 14-10-2010, 09:00 PM
CuriousSnowflake
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosewater
i realize all men are different but in general.. lol i can't figure men out!

For me...

1) The ability to make me laugh.
2) Comfortable with herself as a sexual being.
3) An intelligent, open, and curious mind.
4) A view of the world that it is more than it appears.

Things I find very unattractive...

1) A woman who pretends to be dumber than she actually is. This is way worse than just being not-so-bright.
2) Prudery or any form of sexual repression.
3) An overabundance of concern over her appearance. Takes care of herself and wants to look nice, cool. Work-out freaks and women that spend 3 hours getting ready for anything less than a formal dinner need not apply
4) A closed mind. Doesn't matter what it is, hard core atheism, determined Veganism, or even a refusal to watch spectator sports, if you're not willing to accept a new perspective from time to time, I'm not interested.

Luckily, I've found someone who meets my criteria: an intelligent, sexy, open-minded lady that makes me laugh long and loud at least twice a day. Been married 10 years last month. Is she perfect? Of course not, and neither am I. We both know that, and that's what makes it work.

CS
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  #20  
Old 15-10-2010, 01:12 AM
Stormweaver
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxSaffronxx
I love your honest post. It very nice to hear what men like in us women
I particularly like point 1

Im interested in point 2 though about the physical quarrels. Does this mean if you end up in a fight?
Cos if it does I would want to intervene if my loved one got into a fight as I wouldnt want him to get hurt

Hi Saffron

Yeah just incase there is a fight, because I wouldnt want to see me wife get hurt.

Your man is very lucky to have you as his woman. Takes courage to risk yourself for a loved one. True love.


Namaste _/\_

Last edited by Stormweaver : 15-10-2010 at 04:22 AM.
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