Spirituality, psychosis, feeling good and feeling bad

[shivatar]

When I first came to spirituality I was a desperate person seeking relief from a ravaged body and mind. Naturally my first spiritual experiences were of a positive and euphoric nature. Over time fear of mental illness causes me to taint positive spirituality by associating it with mental illness and psychosis. For the next few years my spirituality became very dark. The darkness as I call it was a painfully clear viewing of the world and my own ravaged mind state, it was in darkness that I learned how to heal my mind from madness.

These days I try not to associate mental illness or psychosis with spirituality. I realize that the void/death force in the world is the opposite of growth, when it is inside a person and left unattended it ravages the mind and at it's worst states causes psychosis and mental illness symptoms.

I see that the void/trauma/death force in it's worst forms often brings people to spirituality for healing.

I see that spirituality is not encouraging psychosis or causing it, but by it's nature as a source of healing it is bound to draw to it void energy, the main wound in the universe that needs healing.




I just want to say if you are having doubts about if spirituality is for the crazy, by the crazy (lol), let those doubts go and recognize that a well of healing is bound to draw the most wounded.

We are born of spirit and we return to it when we need strength. Around the well of healing we see the most weak returning to their original strength, don't be afraid of their past or future forms but recognize their path is yours as well separated by time.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by shivatar

When I first came to spirituality I was a desperate person seeking relief from a ravaged body and mind. Naturally my first spiritual experiences were of a positive and euphoric nature. Over time fear of mental illness causes me to taint positive spirituality by associating it with mental illness and psychosis. For the next few years my spirituality became very dark. The darkness as I call it was a painfully clear viewing of the world and my own ravaged mind state, it was in darkness that I learned how to heal my mind from madness.

These days I try not to associate mental illness or psychosis with spirituality. I realize that the void/death force in the world is the opposite of growth, when it is inside a person and left unattended it ravages the mind and at it's worst states causes psychosis and mental illness symptoms.

I see that the void/trauma/death force in it's worst forms often brings people to spirituality for healing.

I see that spirituality is not encouraging psychosis or causing it, but by it's nature as a source of healing it is bound to draw to it void energy, the main wound in the universe that needs healing.




I just want to say if you are having doubts about if spirituality is for the crazy, by the crazy (lol), let those doubts go and recognize that a well of healing is bound to draw the most wounded.

We are born of spirit and we return to it when we need strength. Around the well of healing we see the most weak returning to their original strength, don't be afraid of their past or future forms but recognize their path is yours as well separated by time.

True spirituality, in itself, is a kind of psychosis, my friend.

Suddenly, you find yourself seeing things from a whole new and totally different perspective to everyone else around you...even other 'spiritual people' and it forces the mind into some kind of existential isolation where you get looked at like some kind of alien ET and treated like a leper and a bit of spiritual psychosis does start setting in.

You go from being the 'life of the party' to somebody nobody else wants to invite and you say things that just fly over the top of everybody else's head like a jumbo jet...all the while thinking 'what's wrong with this picture?' and meanwhile you could dance naked in the street and nobody would even bother to look sideways.

So you think "aha! I'm just a totally insignificant little turd in the bigger scheme of things" and you try not to let that affect the ego in any way, shape or form because if it does, it means you ain't doin' it right.

So then you go "stuff this, I'll just go back into my little 'cave' and meditate on God more"...and it becomes a vicious cycle until the day comes where you can take your 'little cave' with you because it doesn't matter where you are and where you go, other people just don't even exist as far as you're concerned. They've all become selectively deaf and blind to your presence anyway and through years of that treatment, you learn to become selectively deaf and blind to theirs.

On the upside, you get to say and do whatever the hell you want and nobody will ever question it because nobody is paying attention anymore, which is kind of liberating in itself really. If you haven't already lost the ego by that point, it takes solace in the fact that your word remains totally undisputed and therefore you become the living authority on every single matter under the sun...it can drive one to complete and total insanity.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

True spirituality, in itself, is a kind of psychosis.

-you get looked at like some kind of alien
-treated like a leper
-You go from being the 'life of the party' to somebody nobody else wants to invite
-you could dance naked in the street and nobody would even bother to look sideways.
-They become selectively deaf and blind to your presence
-nobody is paying attention anymore

Esoteric philosophy speaks of the enlightenment path as awakening (red pill) from the dream state most people on this planet spend most of their days in (blue pill). It is that dream state that is considered the illusion and the psychosis, and not the spiritual awakening process.

One aspect of that awakening process is an outer-to-inner perception shift. How people view us is no longer of any concern whatsoever. Quite the opposite in fact. How we view them -- our thoughts and beliefs towards them -- becomes the singular point of focus.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Baile

Esoteric philosophy speaks of the enlightenment path as awakening (red pill) from the dream state most people on this planet spend most of their days in (blue pill). It is that dream state that is considered the illusion and the psychosis, and not spiritual awakening process.

One aspect of that awakening process is an outer-to-inner perception shift. How people view us is no longer of any concern whatsoever. Quite the opposite in fact. How we view them -- our thoughts and beliefs towards them -- becomes the singular point of focus.

Even if another human being doesn't view us at all?

I guess the analogy can be made to a yogi who spends years meditating in a cave...you are familiar with Plato's Cave right?

So, he goes out of that cave, finds a human...says "hi mate, how's it goin?" and they just look right through him...finds a dozen humans...tries to be friends...it's like "who the hell are you again?" so the Yogi shrugs his shoulders, goes back inside the cave to once again gaze at his navel going "twas worth a try"...maybe next lifetime.

[Shivani Devi]

I was just looking for stuff about it online.

I hope this helps explain it to those who have never experienced it and cannot understand what I am talking about because I see everything totally different to them:

http://maryshutan.com/spiritual-awak...and-isolation/

Yeah, maybe it's another thing that only I go through and cannot relate it to another living soul...

Thus it perpetuates.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by shivatar

it was in darkness that I learned how to heal my mind from madness.

Looking at what's going on in the world these days -- the craziness, and how fast it is accelerating -- it has never been clearer that this physical-material realm is madness. The first sign of soul-awakening -- awakening from all that madness -- is much like the sweat breaking after a delirium-sickness. You're still sick, and you're exhausted. But the worst is over and you're without question on your way back to health.

[Shivani Devi]

However, I did find this during my searches:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPmE3plYeSU

Again, it's like 'what use are people anyway when I give myself the best help and advice?'

I could create a whole world populated by ME...but that gets boring very quickly because I know what I am going to do in advance and that sorta kills it.

Now I understand why God needed to make people and give them free-will...to amuse Him...

Fact: I am spiritually awakened.
Fact: I am isolated and secluded from the rest of my species and even volunteer work hasn't helped with this.
Fact: Most people think I'm just totally insane and don't want to associate or humour me in any way, shape or form.
Fact: I'm totally comfortable in my own philosophy so others won't bother 'wasting their time' speaking to me because they feel like they won't be heard anyway.
Fact: People will only see/read what they WANT, then quote me totally out of context, then not reply to any further posts I make about it.
Fact: This thread is the prime example of everything I have been saying.

Yeah, so maybe spiritual psychosis isn't a thing for anybody else, but it is for me. See how it works?

[PhoenixNine]

The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight. ~Joseph Campbell


I have experienced unitive consciousness at least nine times in my life now. When I was first having it happen, it was diagnosed as 'mania', although I was just in a state of bliss....It DID send me into another world...not literally, of course....but perception-wise....a new consciousness.

Gradually through more times going through it, I learned how to function while dealing with these heightened perceptions and state of being...and can fully do my job (teacher) while in this state. I must say it gets interesting. Children can easily perceive when psychic projection happens (as this ability has developed), and I have had many confirmations from them that this is so.

I'm not sure where to go with it now, it comes and goes, but it definitely feels like an overwhelming knowing and Presence of the All....at all times. It is like living in a different world when it happens...It is Bliss...peace that passes all understanding....Flow...whatever term you'd like to describe 'IT' as. I just refer to That as 'It' because that term is all encompassing, just as It Is...It IS Existence Itself.
I have lived with this Awareness for sometimes for months at a time.

Look up the term 'Spiritual Emergency' and take a look at the book by Stanislav Grof of the same name. It is amazing.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by PhoenixNine

I have experienced unitive consciousness at least nine times in my life now.

That's a great name for it, never heard that one before. Awesome Campbell quote.

[PhoenixNine]

Indeed, it is the term Grof gives for this type of awakening...The book I listed is a series of essays by experts in their field on different types of awakenings one can have...such as kundalini or an NDE.