Feeling so lost. Now sure where to go?

[blossomingsoull97]

I’m not sure if i should post this thread here, i apologise. I’m feeling so lost honestly, it’s like everything works for everybody else or they are able to connect with guides or see visions but I can’t. i have doubts in my mind that the orbs or the sparkles i see may be because something evil is impersonating a light being. I’m not a religious person anymore but i have heard from others that that’s what happens to people who stray from the ‘right path’ and i end up doubting that maybe this is true. I know i’m a spiritual seeker because i never settle on one idea but it gets frustrating sometimes because i want to find something that works for me. Maybe i should be more patient and it sounds like i’m complaining. So i am sorry for this. I have a lot of trauma from my childhood and i have OCD too And somedays this ocd makes me feel like the worst person in the world and i just want to get to the bottom of it and take it out so i can be free. Somedays, i just want to disappear. I don’t know who I actually am half the time.

Originally Posted by blossomingsoull97

I’m not sure if i should post this thread here, i apologise. I’m feeling so lost honestly, it’s like everything works for everybody else or they are able to connect with guides or see visions but I can’t. i have doubts in my mind that the orbs or the sparkles i see may be because something evil is impersonating a light being. I’m not a religious person anymore but i have heard from others that that’s what happens to people who stray from the ‘right path’ and i end up doubting that maybe this is true. I know i’m a spiritual seeker because i never settle on one idea but it gets frustrating sometimes because i want to find something that works for me. Maybe i should be more patient and it sounds like i’m complaining. So i am sorry for this. I have a lot of trauma from my childhood and i have OCD too And somedays this ocd makes me feel like the worst person in the world and i just want to get to the bottom of it and take it out so i can be free. Somedays, i just want to disappear. I don’t know who I actually am half the time.

Oh dear, no, don't be dismayed. Firstly be aware that many religions have a stranglehold on followers by promising dire consequences if you stray from their teachings (i.e. demands) and when their dogma has been drilled into someone for so long there's a tendency to believe it or fear it somewhere in the less conscious parts of the mind. In one big current religion apostasy is punishable by death!!


The sparkles and things you see are certainly generated by your own inner worlds whether they're "entities" trying to get through to you or not. Indeed they could even be physiological like the hypnogogic images I sometimes get on the cusp of sleep - or, nuisance of nuisances, while I'm trying to visualise. But unless you think of yourself as evil or punishable in some way by an evil entity, they aren't evil. You'd only be visited by malign spirits if you have something they want (and can't get in their own realms) and you've left yourself vulnerable to providing it.


I reckon you just need to be patient. It can take a long time for guides to attend to you, even longer to get to know and trust them. Too easy for something to come into your imagination and you think "That's it!" so you have to get to know what's there. Does any advice clash with your higher principles?

Allow yourself around half an hour a day to sit quietly and contemplate. Create in your mind a pleasant setting, needn't be elaborate, the simpler the better - to run through the day or ponder on some idea that's struck you. Think of that setting as a personally holy place so that, no matter what your thoughts are they're occurring in a clean (spiritual) atmosphere. If something untoward suddenly appears you can easily snap out of it and return next day - or just continue aware you're in your sitting room or wherever.


Point is, guides will appear in your thoughts if among your concerns. In which case wonder why would you need a guide; how could they help you? What is your current purpose - doesn't have to be grandiose; just being here to experience the richness of life and the ecology, the people around you, is enough. What gives you a feeling of peace? What would you like your life to be like in the spiritual sense - peaceful? Content? A bit of a challenge here and there?

Outside of your contemplations, affirm your optimism, that you're going to find your path whether spiritual or not. (All life is spirit so it'll appear somewhere). Have a look at the affirmations section of the forum. But you don't need a book to start affirming. The rules are simple:
- always look to the future
- in what you want to have/be/achieve, keep it practical. (As Pythagoras' Verses recommend "Estimate your mean." (Recognising your limits, though it won't hurt to stretch yourself beyond them just a little)
- repeat your affirmation often / many times a day
- remove any shades of doubt from your affirmation. Always positive. Think in terms of I can, and I will; rather than I might or could.
- don't expect instant results. These things act on changing your behaviour/attitude in the subtlest ways in the direction of your aim. They take time.

Your forum name is just right. Blossoming. You'll pass through many beliefs and ideas and gradually take bits on from each to form your own spirituality / beliefs.

Patience.
And peace and light to you.

[Astro]

Originally Posted by blossomingsoull97

I’m not sure if i should post this thread here, i apologise. I’m feeling so lost honestly, it’s like everything works for everybody else or they are able to connect with guides or see visions but I can’t. i have doubts in my mind that the orbs or the sparkles i see may be because something evil is impersonating a light being. I’m not a religious person anymore but i have heard from others that that’s what happens to people who stray from the ‘right path’ and i end up doubting that maybe this is true. I know i’m a spiritual seeker because i never settle on one idea but it gets frustrating sometimes because i want to find something that works for me. Maybe i should be more patient and it sounds like i’m complaining. So i am sorry for this. I have a lot of trauma from my childhood and i have OCD too And somedays this ocd makes me feel like the worst person in the world and i just want to get to the bottom of it and take it out so i can be free. Somedays, i just want to disappear. I don’t know who I actually am half the time.

If you have your doubts then perhaps it would be wise to stop seeking a spirit guide. Exploring the paranormal, & supernatural without understanding what you could be connecting with is dangerous in my experience.

If you need guidance with your issue's consider getting it from the people in your family & society.

[hallow]

Originally Posted by blossomingsoull97

I’m not sure if i should post this thread here, i apologise. I’m feeling so lost honestly, it’s like everything works for everybody else or they are able to connect with guides or see visions but I can’t. i have doubts in my mind that the orbs or the sparkles i see may be because something evil is impersonating a light being. I’m not a religious person anymore but i have heard from others that that’s what happens to people who stray from the ‘right path’ and i end up doubting that maybe this is true. I know i’m a spiritual seeker because i never settle on one idea but it gets frustrating sometimes because i want to find something that works for me. Maybe i should be more patient and it sounds like i’m complaining. So i am sorry for this. I have a lot of trauma from my childhood and i have OCD too And somedays this ocd makes me feel like the worst person in the world and i just want to get to the bottom of it and take it out so i can be free. Somedays, i just want to disappear. I don’t know who I actually am half the time.

most of the time I feel lost too. I have no idea where I am going. But I keep going. Picking up little pieces huge puzzle we have to put together. (I hate puzzles) but you just have to keep going, and growing. You can't do anything about the past but learn from it. But you can change your future. Make it better one baby step at a time.

[IndigoGeminiWolf]

Sometimes we are stuck in childhood, or our inner child can't grow up.

You should check out the book Running from Safety by Richard Bach. He talks to his inner child. When our inner child can grow up, we can heal a lot.

Originally Posted by blossomingsoull97

I know i’m a spiritual seeker because i never settle on one idea but it gets frustrating sometimes because i want to find something that works for me.

Labelling yourself as a "Spiritual seeker" doesn't help because that's often when the divisions within yourself really begin, and being honest 'Spiritual seeker' isn't Spiritual at all. Christ Consciousness says that the Kingdom of God is already within us, and the seeker is always that which is sought. The other thing you should consider is your own definition of 'Spiritual', because your definitions create your reality and you become those definitions - or at least try to. Another thing to consider is your agenda, and everyone has reasons for being Spiritual. If you're using it to run away from who you are that may not be the best of reasons, if you're looking for self realisation there are other ways.

Perhaps Spirituality isn't for you at the moment with all that's going on inside your head and it might be worth looking at something more therapeutic. Follow what's right for you and if you haven't found it as yet, it doesn't mean it's not out there. Find what you are passionate about and forget what anyone who doesn't like it says. And be very sure that you're being a Spiritual seeker for the right reasons, if it's something you think you have to do so you don't burn in hell.......

Find something that you're good at, that makes you feel like you're somebody and gives you fulfilment. The one and only Path that matters a damn is your own, and the most Spiritual thing you can do is follow your Life's Purpose.

[hallow]

Originally Posted by Greenslade

Labelling yourself as a "Spiritual seeker" doesn't help because that's often when the divisions within yourself really begin, and being honest 'Spiritual seeker' isn't Spiritual at all. Christ Consciousness says that the Kingdom of God is already within us, and the seeker is always that which is sought. The other thing you should consider is your own definition of 'Spiritual', because your definitions create your reality and you become those definitions - or at least try to. Another thing to consider is your agenda, and everyone has reasons for being Spiritual. If you're using it to run away from who you are that may not be the best of reasons, if you're looking for self realisation there are other ways.

Perhaps Spirituality isn't for you at the moment with all that's going on inside your head and it might be worth looking at something more therapeutic. Follow what's right for you and if you haven't found it as yet, it doesn't mean it's not out there. Find what you are passionate about and forget what anyone who doesn't like it says. And be very sure that you're being a Spiritual seeker for the right reasons, if it's something you think you have to do so you don't burn in hell.......

Find something that you're good at, that makes you feel like you're somebody and gives you fulfilment. The one and only Path that matters a damn is your own, and the most Spiritual thing you can do is follow your Life's Purpose.

I know this wasn't pointed at me, but it was uplifting for me to read. I have a "let your feet guide you" view of "spiritually" and it helps me to know maybe I am on the right track with it all. Thanks

Originally Posted by hallow

I know this wasn't pointed at me, but it was uplifting for me to read. I have a "let your feet guide you" view of "spiritually" and it helps me to know maybe I am on the right track with it all. Thanks

Thank you. The thing is that we're 'going to get there' either because of or despite ourselves and the only thing we have to think about is how it plays out. And there is just your track, anything else is fake.


By the way, is that Twiki in your avatar?

[blossomingsoull97]

Originally Posted by Greenslade

Labelling yourself as a "Spiritual seeker" doesn't help because that's often when the divisions within yourself really begin, and being honest 'Spiritual seeker' isn't Spiritual at all. Christ Consciousness says that the Kingdom of God is already within us, and the seeker is always that which is sought. The other thing you should consider is your own definition of 'Spiritual', because your definitions create your reality and you become those definitions - or at least try to. Another thing to consider is your agenda, and everyone has reasons for being Spiritual. If you're using it to run away from who you are that may not be the best of reasons, if you're looking for self realisation there are other ways.

Perhaps Spirituality isn't for you at the moment with all that's going on inside your head and it might be worth looking at something more therapeutic. Follow what's right for you and if you haven't found it as yet, it doesn't mean it's not out there. Find what you are passionate about and forget what anyone who doesn't like it says. And be very sure that you're being a Spiritual seeker for the right reasons, if it's something you think you have to do so you don't burn in hell.......

Find something that you're good at, that makes you feel like you're somebody and gives you fulfilment. The one and only Path that matters a damn is your own, and the most Spiritual thing you can do is follow your Life's Purpose.

Yeah i understand what you are saying. I do believe God is in our hearts and that gives me peace. The God i believe in is loving and caring. I guess I got a little scared because of people around me who have those fearful beliefs and I know i’m releasing all old beliefs which no longer serve me. Ever since i found the spiritual path, i have never felt more peace.

[blossomingsoull97]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Oh dear, no, don't be dismayed. Firstly be aware that many religions have a stranglehold on followers by promising dire consequences if you stray from their teachings (i.e. demands) and when their dogma has been drilled into someone for so long there's a tendency to believe it or fear it somewhere in the less conscious parts of the mind. In one big current religion apostasy is punishable by death!!


The sparkles and things you see are certainly generated by your own inner worlds whether they're "entities" trying to get through to you or not. Indeed they could even be physiological like the hypnogogic images I sometimes get on the cusp of sleep - or, nuisance of nuisances, while I'm trying to visualise. But unless you think of yourself as evil or punishable in some way by an evil entity, they aren't evil. You'd only be visited by malign spirits if you have something they want (and can't get in their own realms) and you've left yourself vulnerable to providing it.


I reckon you just need to be patient. It can take a long time for guides to attend to you, even longer to get to know and trust them. Too easy for something to come into your imagination and you think "That's it!" so you have to get to know what's there. Does any advice clash with your higher principles?

Allow yourself around half an hour a day to sit quietly and contemplate. Create in your mind a pleasant setting, needn't be elaborate, the simpler the better - to run through the day or ponder on some idea that's struck you. Think of that setting as a personally holy place so that, no matter what your thoughts are they're occurring in a clean (spiritual) atmosphere. If something untoward suddenly appears you can easily snap out of it and return next day - or just continue aware you're in your sitting room or wherever.


Point is, guides will appear in your thoughts if among your concerns. In which case wonder why would you need a guide; how could they help you? What is your current purpose - doesn't have to be grandiose; just being here to experience the richness of life and the ecology, the people around you, is enough. What gives you a feeling of peace? What would you like your life to be like in the spiritual sense - peaceful? Content? A bit of a challenge here and there?

Outside of your contemplations, affirm your optimism, that you're going to find your path whether spiritual or not. (All life is spirit so it'll appear somewhere). Have a look at the affirmations section of the forum. But you don't need a book to start affirming. The rules are simple:
- always look to the future
- in what you want to have/be/achieve, keep it practical. (As Pythagoras' Verses recommend "Estimate your mean." (Recognising your limits, though it won't hurt to stretch yourself beyond them just a little)
- repeat your affirmation often / many times a day
- remove any shades of doubt from your affirmation. Always positive. Think in terms of I can, and I will; rather than I might or could.
- don't expect instant results. These things act on changing your behaviour/attitude in the subtlest ways in the direction of your aim. They take time.

Your forum name is just right. Blossoming. You'll pass through many beliefs and ideas and gradually take bits on from each to form your own spirituality / beliefs.

Patience.
And peace and light to you.

Thank you Lorelyen. I truly appreciate this thoughtful reply.