How do you work on Loving yourself

[Soul Renew]

Originally Posted by Nature Grows

Try not being so harsh on yourself, be like a great supreme mother to yourself, you think you messed up? oh no, no.. sweet child of the universe you are trying your best in this crazy world what more could you possibly do, i love you for ever an ever and will never abandon you, it will all be over one day, everything is passing my child, Hush hush, relax, it's doesn't matter i am here for you for ever an ever, i love you.


Just really get in touch with your feminine nurturing side and bathe yourself in it, everything you have said in your post is the mind speaking and society's expectations getting you worried, get into the heart, this is my answer.



Yes it's extremely healing.

This is a wonderful reply.
I 'awwed' when reading it.
My inner child screams to hear soothing words and feel affectionate touches because growing up, when I cried or needed someone really badly for comfort, people ignored me.
So like an untreated wound, being ignored left a gaping wound in my soul.
And what happens if you don't treat a wound? It becomes vulnerable to further infliction, it gets infected, it pusses up, it rots...

But I'm going through the dark night of the soul rn and I'm traveling inwards and uncovering the past and working to make amends and listen to the crying child inside me...
It's just so hard when you want to hug someone lovingly...but you can't. Hugging yourself isn't the same feeling....
Every now and then I feel warmth in the center of my chest, like a spiritual hug or something, and a year ago, the hug felt very motherly.
But still I would love to actually HEAR sweet words in my ears and FEEL a sincere loving hug.

[Nature Grows]

Originally Posted by Soul Renew

This is a wonderful reply.
I 'awwed' when reading it.
My inner child screams to hear soothing words and feel affectionate touches because growing up, when I cried or needed someone really badly for comfort, people ignored me.
So like an untreated wound, being ignored left a gaping wound in my soul.
And what happens if you don't treat a wound? It becomes vulnerable to further infliction, it gets infected, it pusses up, it rots...

But I'm going through the dark night of the soul rn and I'm traveling inwards and uncovering the past and working to make amends and listen to the crying child inside me...
It's just so hard when you want to hug someone lovingly...but you can't. Hugging yourself isn't the same feeling....
Every now and then I feel warmth in the center of my chest, like a spiritual hug or something, and a year ago, the hug felt very motherly.
But still I would love to actually HEAR sweet words in my ears and FEEL a sincere loving hug.

Hey Soul Renew, glad you liked my post, im sorry you got ignored and feel this way, but its ok, crying and all that is just healing taking place, letting emotions out, releasing them so just be with it an let it happen i say. Yup sometimes we can feel like no one is there for us but we are always there for ourselves in those times, i understand that it's nice to have other people to talk and be with though as well, i see you are new on this forum.. well, welcome! you can talk with people here. **Hug**

The warm feeling in the center of your chest is your heart Chakra, it's sooo powerful and it's good you are feeling that. Peace.

.

[Soul Renew]

Originally Posted by Nature Grows

Hey Soul Renew, glad you liked my post, im sorry you got ignored and feel this way, but its ok, crying and all that is just healing taking place, letting emotions out, releasing them so just be with it an let it happen i say. Yup sometimes we can feel like no one is there for us but we are always there for ourselves in those times, i understand that it's nice to have other people to talk and be with though as well, i see you are new on this forum.. well, welcome! you can talk with people here. **Hug**

The warm feeling in the center of your chest is your heart Chakra, it's sooo powerful and it's good you are feeling that. Peace.

.

Thank you ^^
I hope to be more active member too

[prasannatrust]

If you do not know how to love yourself consistently each day, here are some powerful reminders that can quickly improve your quality of life. #loveyourself.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by A human Being

I think you have to go the other way and face your self-hatred. You are inherently lovable, as we all are, but in order to really know that you've got to see through the illusions you harbour about yourself - maybe you think you're stupid, or ugly, or incompetent, or just congenitally unworthy of love. It's hard to recognise these beliefs in ourselves because there's a lot of pain attached to them, and it is ultimately that pain that we're trying to avoid - the truth can be very painful (though that's only because we've been living in ignorance), but it's also the truth that ultimately liberates.

So increase your sensitivity to yourself, and listen to the stories behind your feelings - if those feelings could talk, what would they say? And bear in mind that you can't work these things out on a purely mental level, you've got to let yourself feel.

Hey there HumanB, lovely stuff And very true. You've got to let yourself feel.

But you know, HB, when we've gone through long-term trauma, and also some acute trauma, we literally cannot always feel. And when the damage is extremely deep, there are mechanisms in place that get established to survive which literally shut down your joy and your happiness even when you can once more feel most other emotions. Due to the vulnerability that left you open and nearly got you killed, so to speak.

That sort of advice to let yourself feel will not work on those in essentially a PTSD sort of place emotionally and spiritually. First, folks need to perceive that they are safe, free from unkindness, hostility, violence, and cruelty. Then they need to feel that they are accepted and simply allowed to be, to be as they are and to occupy their patch of earth. Then they need to be treated with kindness, respect, dignity, and courtesy -- they need to have their humanity affirmed at the level of their body, their mind, their heart, and their soul. Then...they can begin to heal their heart as they move forward on their journey, and feel safe enough to actually allow themselves to feel their emotions again, and particularly to feel all their emotions.

Of course we can only "control" ourselves. Yet...the vast majority of our deepest and most pervasive, authentic healing occurs only in community and in communion with others. But because many others are often cruel and amoral, or vicious and hostile, even violent, as a mode of being...due to wherever they are on their own journeys...then at the present time it may be that some or most of this deepest healing cannot yet occur for many. Look at all we are reading about women who've been coerced or raped or sacked or threatened or assaulted or killed. Most women have experienced one or more of these, often repeatedly. We require peace and lovingkindness in community so that we can heal. This is just one example. There are many other kinds of strife and persecution. So many things need to happen before so many of us can feel safe enough to simply be who we are, much less to fully feel what we feel.

Lovingkindness is ultimately always a group effort, with everyone doing their part toward self and others. Loving the self and others whilst being beaten or raped or repeatedly abused or exploited will only take one so far. Necessary but not sufficient, is another way to put it. It's what we can do, but we need to keep our perspective and understand that healing and nurturing a human soul is not a "one-man" or "one-woman" job. No man or woman is an island...true in every sense.

If we want to work on loving ourselves, we can (and should!) start by give lovingkindness to all. And of course, that always includes ourselves. But if we want to experience authentic healing at the deepest levels, we will mutually need to both give and receive lovingkindness to and from all. Meaning, do what you can for yourself and others, but don't take on the whole world's burden of lovingkindness and then blame yourself for still being wounded and scarred. For not moving along fast enough. For being human, and for being vulnerable. Those deep scars are the simple price of living that we often bear.

It's no one person's fault for all the scars they bear, and nor can they or should they expect to fully "fix" themselves "on their own". Heal what you can for yourself and others with love and kindness and forgiveness, under the grace of God's own lovingkindness...and learn to deal with the rest, with who you are at centre. With a simple compassion, disregarding the harsh judgment of others (many of whom clearly do not have your highest good at heart). It's all connected and it all has something else to reveal and to teach us, and not only individually. But at the most interconnected level of being.

Peace & blessings
7L

[A human Being]

Hey 7L, a thoughtful and well-articulated response as always

And you're right, of course, that for many of us to simply feel isn't so straightforward as it sounds on paper, because we've suffered severe trauma in the past and this has caused us to employ spontaneous coping strategies such as dissociation; quite often people will simply reach a point at which they can no longer keep their suffering at bay, and then it overwhelms them, causing them to have a breakdown, say, or violently lash out in extremely destructive ways. So to have support networks in place that offer love, compassion, and understanding is vital if we're truly to heal. We do ultimately need to feel in order to heal, though we may need those support networks in place in order to reach that point, depending on the nature of our wounds and our inner stability.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by A human Being

Hey 7L, a thoughtful and well-articulated response as always

And you're right, of course, that for many of us to simply feel isn't so straightforward as it sounds on paper, because we've suffered severe trauma in the past and this has caused us to employ spontaneous coping strategies such as dissociation; quite often people will simply reach a point at which they can no longer keep their suffering at bay, and then it overwhelms them, causing them to have a breakdown, say, or violently lash out in extremely destructive ways. So to have support networks in place that offer love, compassion, and understanding is vital if we're truly to heal. We do ultimately need to feel in order to heal, though we may need those support networks in place in order to reach that point, depending on the nature of our wounds and our inner stability.

Hey there HumanB...thanks for your kind words and your thoughtful responses too, as always .

Yes when it gets real...that's when folks stop and look around and may have to take a pause to admit that this is where we live. In a place of normative and socially mandated predation, hostility, aggression, exploitation, and narcissism...with a lot of cruelty and sadism thrown into the mix. And yet we can each choose to bring either lovingkindness and care or hostility and harm into the world. We each have the choice to do and be truer to self, and in so doing to advocate by word and deed for a different place, a different society, and a set of normative ways and means.

Yes, I completely agree that we do need to feel to heal...and also that support systems are absolutely crucial to healing.

I'm going to go a bit further and say ongoing support systems in the form of community and society at large are necessary for all humanity to go beyond mere survival. To live in a place where healing and progress and thriving is first possible and then probable and lastly...where healing, growth, and actualisation become commonplace, normative, and might even be reasonably expected.

Peace & blessings, amigo
7L

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

Hey there HumanB...thanks for your kind words and your thoughtful responses too, as always .

Yes when it gets real...that's when folks stop and look around and may have to take a pause to admit that this is where we live. In a place of normative and socially mandated predation, hostility, aggression, exploitation, and narcissism...with a lot of cruelty and sadism thrown into the mix. And yet we can each choose to bring either lovingkindness and care or hostility and harm into the world. We each have the choice to do and be truer to self, and in so doing to advocate by word and deed for a different place, a different society, and a set of normative ways and means.

Yes, I completely agree that we do need to feel to heal...and also that support systems are absolutely crucial to healing.

I'm going to go a bit further and say ongoing support systems in the form of community and society at large are necessary for all humanity to go beyond mere survival. To live in a place where healing and progress and thriving is first possible and then probable and lastly...where healing, growth, and actualisation become commonplace, normative, and might even be reasonably expected.

Peace & blessings, amigo
7L

Apologies, 7L, did mean to reply to this sooner. But you're right, yes, that we have to open our eyes to the reality of the situation, we have to acknowledge that our world is dysfunctional in so many ways; at the same time I believe that we have to understand why this is so, we have to look at our world not with judgement and condemnation but with compassion and an open heart. And, as you say, we need to recognise that we do have a choice in terms of how we respond - we can act from a cynical and embittered state of mind, adopting an attitude of, 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em,' or we can act in accordance with the values we hold most high. In so doing we can play our own small part in creating a more compassionate and loving world, one that facilitates healing rather than perpetuating suffering.

Peace and blessings to you, too

[prasannatrust]

1=Get rid of the negative influences in your life. First step to loving yourself, 2=get rid of the people that don't love you. ...
3=Take more time to do the things YOU want to do. ...
4=Take that step out of your comfort zone. ...
5=Be active! ...
6=Meditate. ...
7=Compliment Yourself.

[angelic star]

Selflessness can be love manifested in so many ways. It's not always 'love' of 'self' that defines how we see ourself, but love of life, unconditional acceptance of others and life itself that tells us where we are on our own personal journey and spiritual paths. An open heart to all first is the open heart to self.
If we are able to channel from the source underlying all our problems on surface, it will stop to become ' I' and move onto something that has no identity , feels like nothing and does not need to hold on to something to identify itself. Our identities need consolation, our truest self is always free, loved and safe with itself. When we come into that space, we are able to give, to facilitate others and also our own selves without prejudices/ selfish perspectives. We realize then what we give to another is also what we give to ourselves. That is where our freedom lies and we are able to behold truth in it's most authentic expression of self and another.