Confused about my guardians

[rivakoi]

Generally since about June time I've had a bit of a rough ride.
My partner left me, had a car crash and a few other things.

I'm now in a better job and around my friends, but for some reason I cannot let go of this ex partner even though they've moved on. It really gets me down.

But onto the point...I'm not sure I remember how I became more aware but I think I was speaking to my Nan who told me to follow my heart always, I remember saying to myself "should I follow my heart and move home?" Something made me look up and clear as day there was a heart shaped cloud. That was that.

Now...I see feathers all the time in my garden. I love to sit in my garden and breathe, listen to my water fountain and listen to the wind and birds. Its wonderful. I wonder if the feathers are signs...as a giant flock of pigeons lives on my roof. So is it really signs?

I see angel numbers constantly 09:09, 333, 1010, 1111, 1212, 1414, 2222 and 2323. Research these, the meanings become conflicting. So I ask for clarity, show me in dreams, adverts on facebook etc. But I don't really receive a response.

E.g I asked if my job was really right for my soul purpose, should I change it and I only dreamt of "Pirates of the Caribbean". What the heck?

Now going back the beginning of my post (I'm sorry its so long), I think I've pushed my angels and guardian spirits away. I think I've hurt them because I hurt myself. (Unfortunately my loneliness amplified and i found out my mum had cancer just pushed me into oblivion). I can assure you it will not happen again. I feel alone again. Are they gone?

[Blue Tiger]

No, they are not gone.

I think we all go through periods in our lives where we just are not in a good place mentally, emotionally, and/or physically. Sometimes we simply do not want to hear any opinions or suggestions, we just want to suffer through it on our own.

And honestly suffering through difficult times often brings great personal growth.

My guides, angels, and guardians go silent when I'm in one of those spaces of time where I am so upset or depressed that nothing they say is going to make much difference, because I'm too upset to understand or accept.

They step back, go silent, and wait for me to get to a more open state of mind. I can always feel that they are there, but they are in the background just watching over me from a distance.

If I call out to them, they will come, but more to comfort than to actually help or advise. Fortunately guides, angels and guardians are not "fair weather friends." They stay with us, always. But there are times when I am best left to my own devices, so I can learn and grow. Perhaps that is the way it works for us all.

[John32241]

Originally Posted by rivakoi

Now going back the beginning of my post (I'm sorry its so long), I think I've pushed my angels and guardian spirits away. I think I've hurt them because I hurt myself. (Unfortunately my loneliness amplified and i found out my mum had cancer just pushed me into oblivion). I can assure you it will not happen again. I feel alone again. Are they gone?

Hi,

My understanding and experience is that we are never alone.

What most often blocks that awareness is self judgement. That is different from those who have never felt this connection and intellectually prevent it from happening.

Compassion for the human self and all that you are will soften and critical thoughts you have towards your self. When those are present there is the feeling that you do not deserve divine love and guidance. It is that faulse belief which keeps you from feeling your connection with your guides.

I hope that this perspective will be helpful.

John

[TeamEffort]

Guides and guardians don't abandon their people. Sometimes they have to go off and take care of something elsewhere, but they are there to help you, especially in the dark times. ESPECIALLY then.

If you're finding pigeon feathers, and there's flocks of pigeons on your roof, that's probably not a sign. If you find other kinds of feathers, especially hawks, owls, eagles, ravens... that may be. Do you find them in other places randomly, like if you're out on a walk somewhere?

You can build a stronger bond by thanking your guardians, even if you don't know their names. Speak to them. Ask them to speak to you, to show themselves to give you a clear sign. Don't demand, ask with respect. Explain that you need help, and it would give you comfort.