Ascension

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Hello Mr G,

Hi Patrycia

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

As I’m finding out. I’ve got maybe another 30 years and then it won’t matter. Unfortunately, several different mediums have told me I've got a long life ahead.

There's a lot you can do in 30 years.
"And there you sit, Tomorrow's Child
So full of Love, so full of Life
But you must rise to meet the day
Lest you become another tale."
The Heep

I know you're a Byron purist but this one's a little different, an acoustic session with Thijs van Leer, ex-Focus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cIBA9MLAJw

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Ah, six words in a simple question and oh, the history behind the answer. I cannot remember when I started running but it was well before the trauma in 2005. For several years after the trauma I did not run because of the full impact on the physical body. Running again was all I wanted to do and a signal to me that if I could reach my previous form, I would be ok. The odds were heavily stacked against me. I had several attempts at getting my fitness back and for reasons I cannot remember now they failed but in 2012 I started very gently and worked my way up to my previous form and a little beyond. So I have run two to three times per week for the last 5 years. Running for me equals freedom. As long as I can run, I am beating the odds. I have continued to run with some fairly uncomfortable injuries but nothing would stop me. A few years back I had a ham string type injury affecting my whole leg. I did wonder whether to go to the docs to get it checked but I knew if I did that they would recommend pain killers, anti-inflams and rest. I don’t put any kind of medication in my body, there’s always a natural alternative and I tried to rest for a few days but after five days I was going stir crazy so I strapped up the leg and ran anyway. Eventually it healed itself. So that’s the kind of determination/enthusiasm/drive I had and I just don’t understand where it’s gone. I can only think, as you suggested, that I’m not doing nothing for no reason, so I guess there’s some wider something going on.

In November last year, I noticed it was becoming harder and harder to run as a long-standing injury to my left leg (not the one I mentioned above) meant I had to focus and concentrate so hard not to trip or fall. It was taking more and more concentration and more and more energy to do it and excuses would come in, I will leave it tomorrow. I then had the Bowen Therapy followed by a viral infection and somewhere along the line my enthusiasm and drive to run simply disappeared and currently it is nowhere in sight.

I knew one day that I would have to hang up my running shoes but I always thought it would be because I developed arthritis, painful knees, a back injury etc I never thought it would be from a lack of mental drive. Hopefully maybe in the late spring summer, I will get my motivation back and maybe take up fast walking as an alternative.

Before I fired up this thread I was watching some sci-fi shorts on YouTube when suddenly the urge to check the forums came. I felt a nervous tension and a shift in consciousness and here we are. I wish I could discuss so much with you but so far you haven't connected with it, you've never quite taken the bait but that's OK.

There's a lovely line that comes from a computer game I sometimes dust off and reinstall, it's pretty gory and was voted one of the creepiest games of its times. The graphics are a little clunky nowadays but it still creeps me out. However, there's a great quote that suits Spirituality in general and what you're telling me here.
"Why run? You cannot escape something you have been a part of since before you were born."

Have you tried ghost writing? Just picking up a pen and scribbling away, whatever comes into your mind at the time goes down on paper 'unfiltered'. The odd word, an unrelated sentence... It can tell you so much, it's as though your subconscious is talking to you through the pen and when you're done it's worth reading back. It's like a written-down dream. It doesn't matter if it makes sense but what does matter is just giving it expression.

This is another 'symptom' of moving into 5D consciousness, you begin to resonate in harmony to other frequencies and what helped you 'back then' doesn't help any more. You can't turn from who and what you are. You ran to beat the odds, you wouldn't let anything stop you and damn the consequences because it was what you were good at. What's not often realised is that what we say and do is always a reflection of what we have inside, if that's the case then were you running to or running from? And what?

The Universe gives us what we need when we need it, if you don't have the drive any more then you don't need it. When you turn your focus to what's happening now instead of harbouring memories things change drastically.

I was a very angry young man and I was getting quite close to something very dark indeed. All that anger was unchecked and I would go from complete calm to white-hot in less than the flick of a switch. When that happened all I wanted to do was cause the most damage in the most efficient way possible. At the time my friend had started judo classes and roped me in. That turned me around, it gave vent to my anger. There was another guy about the same height and build as me there, and every session we would want to beat the beJesus out of each other. The teacher would clear the mat and let us get on with it so everyone could carry on. One day he stopped coming, the next day everything had gone. I had little motivation for it.

About the same time I started reading the Tao Te Ching and that gave me a certain amount of peace. Then I found Desiderata and here we are today. I still have a temper and on the odd occasion I lose it I still want to cause a lot of harm without conscience, but thankfully those are few and far between.

I guess the point is that there comes a time in our Lives when everything changes, and we're left in a void between 'here' and 'there'. While I was trying to beat something out of me perhaps you were trying to run away from what's inside you, both of us looking for ways to at least come to terms with ourselves after our own fashions. Perhaps when you're fast walking you'll learn to Love yourself regardless instead of cussing yourself that you're no longer able to run like the wind.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Both I think. I've used the exact sentences in this video. It was noticeable how I searched for EFT and anger and this video was the first thing that came up.

https://www.thetappingsolution.com/b...youre-holding/

Although doing EFT for anger seemed like a good idea, I had no idea what statements to use aside from the obvious ‘even though I’m angry .’ but the statements he used in the video were perfect for my situation, I couldn’t have come up with those (which I’m sure is why the universe gave me that video first).

So I did that EFT last Sunday and I’ve never reacted like that before. I went through it twice and immediately felt light-headed afterwards, followed by feeling tired and then very emotional.

Then next morning, I felt freer, happier, lighter I could believe the difference.

So decided yesterday, using that same template, to do EFT for the irritation and annoyance at myself. I went through this one quite a few times but felt that light-headedness again.

So I’m going to start fortnightly cranio sacral therapy and continue with EFT on the weeks I’m not doing cranio.

Sometimes, it does feel hopeless, like I’m just not going to be able to do this on my own. And I briefly thought about going to counselling but from my days working in child protection, I know the counselling approaches and nothing really appeals and then when I woke the next morning I had the idea to continue with EFT. My cards that morning were most interesting and
a signal that doing this myself is the way to go; I had (from 3 different decks) Triumphant Success, Miracle Healing and Heal Thyself. Seemed pretty clear to me.

I think future topics for EFT are going to be sadness, disappointment, hurt. Just this morning I don’t feel irritated or annoyed, another layer gone, it’s the sadness, disappointment.

I noticed that after the EFT for anger I had some really intense and unpleasant dreams, one of which was I couldn’t turn off the ignition on my car and it was getting hotter and hotter and eventually disintegrated. That’s the second dream I’ve had where disintegration is the theme. I’ve also had several dreams where blood is involved, that’s the life-force.

Have you ever heard of Shadow Work? Jung said that what we don't deal with effectively with our conscious minds gets filed into what he calls our Shadow Self. It's a dark corner of our psyche where things fester and grow bigger and sharper teeth, and every once in a while they'll come back and bite us on the backside. The only real way to 'kill' those monsters is to drag them into the Light and acknowledge them as a part of us just the same as the 'good bits'. Apparently Jung practices what he preached.

Teal Swan does some really good info and methods on Shadow work, it's not hard to find on YouTube and she's quite down-to-earth too, very practical in her Spirituality. If you do your Shadow work you'll be going to the origins of what ails you, and it's not a Journey for the faint of heart.

The bottom line is that only you can heal you, how you do it is up to but often it needs a high degree of honesty, and it does take you where you'll probably not want to go. Far deeper than what's being covered with EFT.

What are the reasons (not why, very specifically what are the reasons) you feel sadness and disappointment?

There is a 'disintegration' process going on with you and you control the driving force - the car itself. You've also lost your 'life blood', your motivation and everything that kept you going. The Life blood is your motivation etc., and the car is things like your running.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Gosh, another simple question with a complex history, given I’ve always been sensitive; when I was younger I wasn’t so aware of that and stronger in dealing with things. But as I’ve got older sensitivities have increased, so going to work gives me social interaction whether I want it or not and so when I come home and close the down it’s battery recharging time. I’m not really a people person, prefer to be myself, I have good friendships in the past that have ended for one reason or another. I’ve a good friend who I go out with occasionally but the balance between work and home feels about right for now. Also I’ve done a lot in life, writing, running, dancing (medals in that) moving from my hometown, married, divorced, renovating my bungalow, various interest in things along the way. I don’t really feel there’s much if anything ‘out there’ that interests me. It’s always been for me about my internal world, even from a young age I used to listen to music and take myself off to a complete world I created. That’s one of the things I liked about Uriah Heep, those lyrics helped me with that and also it was like they gave me permission to do what I was doing; it was the right way to go (if any of that makes sense).

But don't you see where this is heading? So far it's been how you relate to an external world in whatever shape or form - in your case not wanting much to do with it. What you're going through now is going to be very internal, part of your EFT and acknowledging the anger are the first steps to you going inwards. I guess where you're at right now is where you've come to a screeching halt and while you're pointing in another direction you're not quite in gear.

As I've read what you've posted I have the eerie feeling that I wrote it myself.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

In one of Matt's vids I heard him mention 2015-2020 so we're in the thick of it at the moment.

Oh yes, very much so. I'm getting time dilations again but they're not as drastic as the first time they happened, and the synchronicities are coming thick and fast. What used to feel like 'another dimension' feels a lot more 'solid' and with smoother edges. In one of Matt's vids he mentions how reality is like sitting watching a movie. The frames come whizzing along so fast it seems as though they're in seamless motion but they're individual and not connected. Science calls them 'Now Slices' - moments of Now we experience in rapid succession as we travel through space-time. It's interesting because at one stage I just couldn't resonate with that in the least, but now...... Anyway.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I thought I saw on another post you were from Aberdeenshire, so with me in the South West, that’s Uriah Heep being played at opposite ends of the country - that really warms my heart!

I'm in a place called Fraserburgh, right in the very north east corner. It's an interesting place, the town that time forgot where the dialect is an English/Gaelic hybrid of sorts.

I'm listening to Uriah Heep now, Youtube is just churning them out. Interestingly I'm not so emotionally involved right now even though what's playing right now used to touch me so deeply - Paradise from Demons and Wizards.

So if a shared interest in Uriah Heep at opposite ends of the country warms your heart, what else do you feel?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I didn't realise that you have children that have passed to spirit? I'm so sorry if that's the case, if I've read that correct.

Thank you. One of them is from this Life and a couple are from Past Lives Mrs G and I had together. You're not the only one with historical stories.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I listened to that after I'd done my EFT and that was really soothing.

Patrycia

There's a long story to that particular track, but what it tells me is that our Loved Ones are only as far away as we'd like to think they are.

[Patrycia-Rose]

Morning Mr G,

There's a lot you can do in 30 years.
"And there you sit, Tomorrow's Child
So full of Love, so full of Life
But you must rise to meet the day
Lest you become another tale."
The Heep

I know you're a Byron purist but this one's a little different, an acoustic session with Thijs van Leer, ex-Focus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cIBA9MLAJw

I liked the flute – that’s all I’m sayin!

Have you tried ghost writing? Just picking up a pen and scribbling away, whatever comes into your mind at the time goes down on paper 'unfiltered'. The odd word, an unrelated sentence...

I seem to remember I tried this many years ago but never really took to it.

What's not often realised is that what we say and do is always a reflection of what we have inside, if that's the case then were you running to or running from? And what?

Mmmm, interesting question. I would think running from although not sure from what. Reflecting, I would often have strong third eye activity whilst running, probably because I was concentrating on running and I often would get a lot of aura soma colours. Sometimes, I would visualise running across a desert. I’m aware of all the chemical/hormonal changes from intense cardio vascular exercise, I can certainly attest to runners high.

Then I found Desiderata and here we are today.

That was one of my dad’s favourites.

I still have a temper and on the odd occasion I lose it I still want to cause a lot of harm without conscience, but thankfully those are few and far between

.

I agree with that, I too still have a temper, although it’s more a ‘quick to irritation’ these days.

. Perhaps when you're fast walking you'll learn to Love yourself regardless instead of cussing yourself that you're no longer able to run like the wind.

I have not given up completely on the idea of returning to running. But there would have to be a change in several things, not least the actual desire/motivation/enthusiasm. In the last week I’ve done a couple of sessions of kundalini yoga which is a nice contrast to running.

Have you ever heard of Shadow Work? Jung said that what we don't deal with effectively with our conscious minds gets filed into what he calls our Shadow Self. It's a dark corner of our psyche where things fester and grow bigger and sharper teeth, and every once in a while they'll come back and bite us on the backside. The only real way to 'kill' those monsters is to drag them into the Light and acknowledge them as a part of us just the same as the 'good bits'. Apparently Jung practices what he preached.

You’ve mentioned this in a couple of your previous posts. I had another look at it including looking at a few suggested techniques but it just does not appeal to me. I did take a archetype test which concluded that I was "a wise old man" both in self archetype 73% and persona archetype 67%. But I decided to just go inwards, forget all the techniques, and just ask head on.

So I sat quietly and tuned in and asked ask why the anger? I got the usual “because it shouldn't have happened.” So I just kept repeating the question, why the anger? And got a deeper response each time. I want to make them pay for what they did. But not the professional men that were involved, just the woman. Honestly, the language and aggression at this point was actually a joy to see and made me laugh in its rawness (just as well I got a blue lounge). Over and over, no matter what ‘logical’ evidence I presented as to how and why this woman did what she did, it just came back to she was the one who did this to me and that I wanted her dead! (well they do say shadow work is dark).

So I started to consider this feeling of being let down by a woman in my life and started to look for another incident. It wasn’t my mother, relative or school teacher. It took some time to search memories, experiences and then it struck me, when I was 5 years old, I had an operation as I wasn’t able to hear properly. I have some memories of this operation, the colour and pattern of bed covers, where I was placed in the ward before and after the operation. Significantly, I also have the memory of being wheeled into theatre and a mask being placed over my face, anaethetic I presume. I had the impression that I struggled as I didn’t like or understand why the mask was being put over my face and a female nurse held that mask down firmly on my face. When I had this realisation I saw the time was 17:17. As I picked up my pendulum to check some of this out, a tiger power animal showed up. Dowsing said, that the nurse was not very nice to me, so instead of being kind, encouraging, soothing she was unpleasant / harsh / unkind. Of course, given that this was 51 years ago, there’s an even chance that she’s dead which pleased me as the fact that I wanted the first woman dead, it felt like completion! All of this took about an hour and I felt really knackered.

In addition to the 17:17 and tiger, I asked spirit to give me a sign that I’d got all of this right and in immediate response, I saw 20 blue / pink. Starchild bottle. B20 is also rather significantly called Child Rescue! Another message I felt from spirit was when I woke the following two nights at 12:34 and again last night.


I have been ‘receiving’ all week these aura soma colours in the circle shape and looking on the net I found this! Explains a lot. So I’m busy reading all this. It’s so good to be shown something new!

http://www.colourvibes.co.uk/about-c...ons/catalogue/

Also, for years I’ve been getting on and off yellow/turquoise. In the aura soma system there is no such colour combination but guess what, there is in this system and it is number 28, new beginnings. I find it fascinating!

But don't you see where this is heading? So far it's been how you relate to an external world in whatever shape or form - in your case not wanting much to do with it. What you're going through now is going to be very internal, part of your EFT and acknowledging the anger are the first steps to you going inwards. I guess where you're at right now is where you've come to a screeching halt and while you're pointing in another direction you're not quite in gear.

I’ve no idea where this is heading, apart from as you say going internal. Matt’s teachings are re-shaping some of the way I relate both internally and externally – but no idea where this is heading.

In one of Matt's vids he mentions how reality is like sitting watching a movie. The frames come whizzing along so fast it seems as though they're in seamless motion but they're individual and not connected..

Have you seen ‘The Alchemy of Transformation’. This has been another video which has had quite a significant effect, in terms of trying to apply it. I’ve watched 50 videos now and have another 7 to go.

I also had a lovely little experience in the week. I came home from work having felt really low all day and turned on my computer to check my emails and just had a look at Matt's Facebook page and saw there was a podcast being broadcast in one minute. You have never seen such a quick logging on and signing up and I sat for an hour listening to him and afterwards I felt so much better and more positive and like my usual self. MK is/has taken his place alongside David Byron, Bruce Lee, Francis Rossi and Ayrton Senna.

I'm listening to Uriah Heep now, Youtube is just churning them out. Interestingly I'm not so emotionally involved right now even though what's playing right now used to touch me so deeply - Paradise from Demons and Wizards

.


When I read that, I had for a few seconds, the most intense energetic pull, like for a few seconds I was there listening with you!

So if a shared interest in Uriah Heep at opposite ends of the country warms your heart, what else do you feel?

Now, this has had me scratching my head all week! Well, there’s the shared admiration of Bruce Lee and the pretty remarkable discovery that Uriah Heep has been such a big part of both our lives from an early age, both of us working in child protection, pretty much the same age, very similar characteristics, maybe a few coincidences along the way I’ve forgotten. I’m aware that those are observations rather than feelings so I’m not sure if that’s what you were meaning .......



Another UH CD that I need to get at some point. Remember this one well, particularly this track, which I find so haunting and oh, the words somehow take on a new meaning.........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5tgGG7EKQw

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Morning Mr G,

Good morning Rose, in a 'good morning Vietnam' kinda way.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Don't you feel it? It's buzzing when you let it all go.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I liked the flute – that’s all I’m sayin!

It's not the same but pretty close. Anyway, I wasn't that much in love with them.

[quote=Patrycia-Rose]I seem to remember I tried this many years ago but never really took to it. [/qyuote]A few years ago I built a website so that a few of us could write stories into it. We'd discuss storylines in a chatroom then write parts of the story from our own character's perspective. When I did that I used to have Spirit come through and help me write the stories. There was always a shift in consciousness and I'd become so engrossed, so much so that I still think it's rubbed off n me and stayed.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Mmmm, interesting question. I would think running from although not sure from what. Reflecting, I would often have strong third eye activity whilst running, probably because I was concentrating on running and I often would get a lot of aura soma colours. Sometimes, I would visualise running across a desert. I’m aware of all the chemical/hormonal changes from intense cardio vascular exercise, I can certainly attest to runners high.

I get the feeling that you hold onto things and that your running - or at least your deep-seated need to - is a reflection of something inside. Whether you were running to or from I wasn't sure. Chasing is the word. Just liking the flute in the song, but if David Byron had sung it? I know the links are tenuous but The Heep's obviously been a huge part of your Life for a long time, and sometimes these things are 'pointers'. Sometimes it's hard leaving things behind, but they're only behind if you don't take them with you in your heart. It works the other way around too, they're no longer with you if you don't carry them in your heart.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

That was one of my dad’s favourites.

It's simple, it's easy and it works..

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I agree with that, I too still have a temper, although it’s more a ‘quick to irritation’ these days.

I often take note of what irritates me, and it's almost always idiot drivers and regardless they still trigger me. Someone once told me that if you want to see how people really are, watch their driving. That has parallels in Spirituality, there's still a person 'driving' the beliefs. When I found out my daughter was being abused I would have cheerfully driven the 300-plus miles to go down and break his legs.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I have not given up completely on the idea of returning to running. But there would have to be a change in several things, not least the actual desire/motivation/enthusiasm. In the last week I’ve done a couple of sessions of kundalini yoga which is a nice contrast to running.

I'm talking to someone who's just decided to give up smoking, her biggest fear is that there's no substitute for the reliance and the support mechanism smoking was to her. That I can understand being an ex-smoker, I did feel as though the smoking 'gave me something'. I don't have any substitutes and it feels so much better. I feel a pull towards Tai Chi though.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

You’ve mentioned this in a couple of your previous posts. I had another look at it including looking at a few suggested techniques but it just does not appeal to me. I did take a archetype test which concluded that I was "a wise old man" both in self archetype 73% and persona archetype 67%. But I decided to just go inwards, forget all the techniques, and just ask head on.

So I sat quietly and tuned in and asked ask why the anger? I got the usual “because it shouldn't have happened.” So I just kept repeating the question, why the anger? And got a deeper response each time. I want to make them pay for what they did. But not the professional men that were involved, just the woman. Honestly, the language and aggression at this point was actually a joy to see and made me laugh in its rawness (just as well I got a blue lounge). Over and over, no matter what ‘logical’ evidence I presented as to how and why this woman did what she did, it just came back to she was the one who did this to me and that I wanted her dead! (well they do say shadow work is dark).

So I started to consider this feeling of being let down by a woman in my life and started to look for another incident. It wasn’t my mother, relative or school teacher. It took some time to search memories, experiences and then it struck me, when I was 5 years old, I had an operation as I wasn’t able to hear properly. I have some memories of this operation, the colour and pattern of bed covers, where I was placed in the ward before and after the operation. Significantly, I also have the memory of being wheeled into theatre and a mask being placed over my face, anaethetic I presume. I had the impression that I struggled as I didn’t like or understand why the mask was being put over my face and a female nurse held that mask down firmly on my face. When I had this realisation I saw the time was 17:17. As I picked up my pendulum to check some of this out, a tiger power animal showed up. Dowsing said, that the nurse was not very nice to me, so instead of being kind, encouraging, soothing she was unpleasant / harsh / unkind. Of course, given that this was 51 years ago, there’s an even chance that she’s dead which pleased me as the fact that I wanted the first woman dead, it felt like completion! All of this took about an hour and I felt really knackered.

In addition to the 17:17 and tiger, I asked spirit to give me a sign that I’d got all of this right and in immediate response, I saw 20 blue / pink. Starchild bottle. B20 is also rather significantly called Child Rescue! Another message I felt from spirit was when I woke the following two nights at 12:34 and again last night.


I have been ‘receiving’ all week these aura soma colours in the circle shape and looking on the net I found this! Explains a lot. So I’m busy reading all this. It’s so good to be shown something new!

http://www.colourvibes.co.uk/about-c...ons/catalogue/

Also, for years I’ve been getting on and off yellow/turquoise. In the aura soma system there is no such colour combination but guess what, there is in this system and it is number 28, new beginnings. I find it fascinating!

I'm going to say "Well done you" not in a patronising way but in a tongue-in-cheek way, it takes a lot of strength to even attempt that kind of thing. Just a quick tip though, it helps to follow the chain of question-answer-question. When you get an answer, question the answer. The other thing is to frame the questions, ask questions that look for reasons rather than ask why - not "Why did that happen" but "What are the reasons I feel anger?" It makes a huge difference. What that technique does is take you down through a trail of cause-effect-cause.

Sometimes when you start from the 'origin' and follow it through your Life you can see it from a very different perspective, because you can see how something like that drives you or has such an effect. I did the same at an early age before I was 'Spiritual' - whatever that means any more. I felt I needed to find the reasons for feeling the way I did and it went back to my father dying, and my abuse. I'd thought I'd dealt with it and moved on but there were still so many things lying in the darkness.

And yes, I know about wanting someone dead.

So now you've found the Child Inside, and she's alone, scared, struggling.....? Matt's teachings remain true, in that you have to give the body time to heal in its own way but it has to apply to the Child Inside too, you have to help her understand and forgive. The StarChild.

Grab yourself a copy of 2001:A Space Odyssey if you get the chance, it's a really old movie and even if you don't get the symbolism on the way through it's worth it for the ending. Dave Bowman going into space is your Journey, when he takes HAL's higher functions offline and gets 'back to basics' it's you taking apart what drives you - like your shadow work. I'll leave the ending, that's the best part.

I seldom give advice but right now I'm welling up with emotion. Go spend some time with the Child Inside, then you'll understand so much.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’ve no idea where this is heading, apart from as you say going internal. Matt’s teachings are re-shaping some of the way I relate both internally and externally – but no idea where this is heading.

It's heading to where there is no more abyss between the internal and external, where things happen because of you instead of to you.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Have you seen ‘The Alchemy of Transformation’. This has been another video which has had quite a significant effect, in terms of trying to apply it. I’ve watched 50 videos now and have another 7 to go.

I also had a lovely little experience in the week. I came home from work having felt really low all day and turned on my computer to check my emails and just had a look at Matt's Facebook page and saw there was a podcast being broadcast in one minute. You have never seen such a quick logging on and signing up and I sat for an hour listening to him and afterwards I felt so much better and more positive and like my usual self. MK is/has taken his place alongside David Byron, Bruce Lee, Francis Rossi and Ayrton Senna.

To be honest I'm leaning away from Spiritual YouTubes of late and spending more time relating to the space between the two worlds, and how the outer is a reflection of the inner. There's been a few things happening where all this 'theory stuff' has been coming apart at the seams, while I understand it might be wonderful for you it just doesn't resonate with me any more.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

When I read that, I had for a few seconds, the most intense energetic pull, like for a few seconds I was there listening with you!

Don't know if that's interesting or scary for you. I should have been surprised but it feels natural for that to hsppen.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Now, this has had me scratching my head all week! Well, there’s the shared admiration of Bruce Lee and the pretty remarkable discovery that Uriah Heep has been such a big part of both our lives from an early age, both of us working in child protection, pretty much the same age, very similar characteristics, maybe a few coincidences along the way I’ve forgotten. I’m aware that those are observations rather than feelings so I’m not sure if that’s what you were meaning .......

"Don't think, feeeeeeellll."

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Another UH CD that I need to get at some point. Remember this one well, particularly this track, which I find so haunting and oh, the words somehow take on a new meaning.........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5tgGG7EKQw

I'll have to have a listen to that later. my friend has come round with his new electric guitar and Mrs G's getting him fixed up with some basic chords. It sounds a lot like some of the pre-release songs I've heard from Return to Fantasy. If you're on a computer/laptop I can recommend an easy way to download YouTubes onto your hard drive with a couple of clicks. It'll download the Heep and any MK or other vids as well.

[Patrycia-Rose]

Hello there Mr G,

Good morning Rose, in a 'good morning Vietnam' kinda way.

Would you believe, I’ve never seen that film although I really liked Mrs Doubtfire and Goodwill Hunting.

We'd discuss storylines in a chatroom then write parts of the story from our own character's perspective. When I did that I used to have Spirit come through and help me write the stories. There was always a shift in consciousness and I'd become so engrossed, so much so that I still think it's rubbed off n me and stayed.

I can relate to that. I often ‘visit’ the characters I created in the novels I’ve written to see how they’re getting on. There was a time when I was writing every weekend that I lived and breathed those characters. Fortunately, I left them all with potentially happy endings so re-visiting is mostly a happy experience.

Just liking the flute in the song, but if David Byron had sung it?

Yep if David Byron had sung that with the flute – that would have been a different experience. I bet some clever person could actually blend that together (in a ‘Free as a Bird’ kind of way).

Sometimes it's hard leaving things behind, but they're only behind if you don't take them with you in your heart. It works the other way around too, they're no longer with you if you don't carry them in your heart

That reminds me of the lines on the back of Wonderworld. “Life outside can be difficult. Life within can be the way you want it to be. But life without you is no life at all.”

I often take note of what irritates me, and it's almost always idiot drivers and regardless they still trigger me.

I’m exactly the same. It sort of amuses me and disappoints me at the same time, I can leave the office relatively calm and some driver does something stupid and I immediately get irritated/angry.

When I found out my daughter was being abused I would have cheerfully driven the 300-plus miles to go down and break his legs.

I’m sorry to hear that; perhaps it was a blessing in disguise that they lived all those miles away, so driving down wasn’t an immediately accessible option.

I feel a pull towards Tai Chi though.

I explored Tai Chi once, didn’t take to it because it was such a contrast to running. I do like the kundalini yoga though, it is so different to hatha with more movement involved. I’ve also got a qi gong dvd waiting to be tried out.

I'm going to say "Well done you" not in a patronising way but in a tongue-in-cheek way, it takes a lot of strength to even attempt that kind of thing.

Thank you, I appreciate that.

What’s really curious is that in the week I was doing some ironing, I always find that quite soothing and I thought about the 2005 trauma and thought what is it I’m angry at? I can’t quite remember what I’m supposed to be angry about. It’s like a big hole is in my head where it all was. So I’m guessing that the thought patterns that have built up over the years are breaking down. I dare say there’s some technical term for it like neurological thought patterns or something. But it was quite profound that the anger or memories, or my perception of it has significantly changed.


In the week I had a notable experience; I awoke in the early hours and I started remembering my first weekend job in a supermarket when I was at college, that then led to recalling the next job and so on it went; then it was remembering a christmas with my parents and other significant events; all with incredible clarity and detail, like the experience had a life of its own – it was like a life review. I then went back to sleep and had a dream about bats and woke up with the song Solsbury Hill blaring in my head. I had a look at the lyrics of that to see if there was any cryptic messages in there but didn’t see anything obvious.

So now you've found the Child Inside, and she's alone, scared, struggling.....? Matt's teachings remain true, in that you have to give the body time to heal in its own way but it has to apply to the Child Inside too, you have to help her understand and forgive. The StarChild.

I’ve followed it up just by going inside and explaining what was going on in the operation, what the mask was and the results of the operation in that could fully hear. That seemed to land OK with her; I had the feeling that she was more interested in getting outside on her bike and playing in the dirt

To be honest I'm leaning away from Spiritual YouTubes of late and spending more time relating to the space between the two worlds, and how the outer is a reflection of the inner. There's been a few things happening where all this 'theory stuff' has been coming apart at the seams, while I understand it might be wonderful for you it just doesn't resonate with me any more.

It sounds as though you are a step ahead of me having maybe done all the youtube vids. For me, this is all so new! I’ve only had a computer at home since 2012 and it had not occurred to me to look on youtube or anywhere else for spiritual teachings, I didn’t think such a thing would exist. I was still very much in hard book mode. I had read a number of spiriutal books such as Power of Now. I can remember putting that down and thinking what the hell was all that about. I’ve read a couple of Deepak Chopra books and I’ve tried twice to get into Abraham Hicks, finding the latter deeply patronising. There was just nothing for me in those books, that style, that teaching. It just didn’t touch me, speak to me, do anything for me.

So along comes Matt Kahn (care of you) and it’s like oh my, this is what I’ve been waiting my whole life for, this has been the part that’s been missing; teachings that I understand from beginning to end, no airy-fairy ‘aren’t I clever’ language, techniques that are so simple yet so profound with full and detailed explanations of why something will work, the foundation, the background to it. Blowing out of the water the old spiritual teachings, now I know why they didn’t work for. I’ve seen enough videos and listened to enough interviews/podcasts to know that this has all come from his own personal experiences from a child to adulthood, so it’s genuine, there’s no ego there, no falsehood, just a deep connection and desire to help people going through their struggles. And I wouldn’t be putting as much energy into watching videos and taking notes if I didn’t think it was worth it. And some of those teachings and techniques I am now doing daily (I’ve made myself get all teary now.)

Don't know if that's interesting or scary for you. I should have been surprised but it feels natural for that to happen.

No it didn’t scare me just suprised me with the intensity of the pull of energy.

"Don't think, feeeeeeellll."

I don’t think I’m doing very well here; I feel the connection based on the things I’ve observed.

I'll have to have a listen to that later.

Did you catch up with that UH video in the previous post? Another one missing from my collection, I was rather surprised to see that it’s not on amazon, only as an MP3 download. I may have to contact my brother to see if he’s got that one.

If you're on a computer/laptop I can recommend an easy way to download YouTubes onto your hard drive with a couple of clicks. It'll download the Heep and any MK or other vids as well.

I’ve seen a way to do that by putting the letter ‘s’ in front the URL. What I could do with is a way of getting Matt’s videos into text as it is incredibly hard work. The quickest way I have found is using an online voice recognition system (faster than my fingers) but it doesn’t work direct from the video, I have to pause the video and repeat it, it saves me from typing it up, just have to tidy it but that’s the quickest way I’ve found but it can take a whole weekend to do just one video.

And just when I think I’ve got to be near the end now, I’ll be able to take it a bit easier on the next video, he begins by saying ..... "When we are on a spiritual journey we tend to realise sooner or later that it doesn't actually matter what happens to you but the level of consciousness you are at when things happen.” So no, I can’t take it easy cos i’m sitting here, once again, thinking sh** that’s me, this is exactly me. I’ve had so many moments like that!

Patrycia

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Hello there Mr G,

Hi Patriycia, and a beautiful Sunday morning it is too even though the forecast says it's supposed to be snow and rain.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Would you believe, I’ve never seen that film although I really liked Mrs Doubtfire and Goodwill Hunting.

You've never seen Good Morning Vietnam? That's it, we're through.

That movie was inspiring then and it still inspires me today.He was quite an oddball and he brought a lot to the soldiers who were listening. The the establishment shut him down and I felt sad, but he stuck to his guns and come through in the end. The character Lived his Life on his own terms and was true to himself. Not to mention it was damned funny and so many other things.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I can relate to that. I often ‘visit’ the characters I created in the novels I’ve written to see how they’re getting on. There was a time when I was writing every weekend that I lived and breathed those characters. Fortunately, I left them all with potentially happy endings so re-visiting is mostly a happy experience.

Strange that you say that. I've been thinking of revisiting my stories and carrying on, I guess what I'm reluctant for is what might be waiting for me when I get there, or should I say who? As in the 'new me'.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Yep if David Byron had sung that with the flute – that would have been a different experience. I bet some clever person could actually blend that together (in a ‘Free as a Bird’ kind of way).

Dare say they could, but it takes a huge amount of technical know-how to separate the voice from the other instruments. The voice has quite a range of frequencies. For me it's the way it is, and while I grew up with Byron I have to accept that he's not there any more, very sadly.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

That reminds me of the lines on the back of Wonderworld. “Life outside can be difficult. Life within can be the way you want it to be. But life without you is no life at all.”

Yep, know that feeling very well. Even no Life at all tells you something though.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’m exactly the same. It sort of amuses me and disappoints me at the same time, I can leave the office relatively calm and some driver does something stupid and I immediately get irritated/angry.

I guess we all need the reminder that we're human after all.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’m sorry to hear that; perhaps it was a blessing in disguise that they lived all those miles away, so driving down wasn’t an immediately accessible option.

Thank you but she's building her own Life now and although he's contacted her a few times she doesn't give him much truck. I guess he was testing the waters to see what she'd do, but what he got wasn't what he'd expected. I'd have jumped in the car and gone down at a moment's notice, nearly did. My brother would have gone down too. The upside is that my daughter probably felt isolated prior to that, and she had to make her own mind up about getting out. Now she knows what her dad and her uncle were willing to do for her, her sister spoke volumes by fetching her and her mother gave her the spare room.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I explored Tai Chi once, didn’t take to it because it was such a contrast to running. I do like the kundalini yoga though, it is so different to hatha with more movement involved. I’ve also got a qi gong dvd waiting to be tried out.

I'm getting old and stiff. I was thinking about the old judo warm-ups but no courage of my convictions lol. I used to swim a lot too, which would have helped to keep me supple. Tai Chi seems to be just the job for a knackered old git.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Thank you, I appreciate that.

What’s really curious is that in the week I was doing some ironing, I always find that quite soothing and I thought about the 2005 trauma and thought what is it I’m angry at? I can’t quite remember what I’m supposed to be angry about. It’s like a big hole is in my head where it all was. So I’m guessing that the thought patterns that have built up over the years are breaking down. I dare say there’s some technical term for it like neurological thought patterns or something. But it was quite profound that the anger or memories, or my perception of it has significantly changed.


In the week I had a notable experience; I awoke in the early hours and I started remembering my first weekend job in a supermarket when I was at college, that then led to recalling the next job and so on it went; then it was remembering a christmas with my parents and other significant events; all with incredible clarity and detail, like the experience had a life of its own – it was like a life review. I then went back to sleep and had a dream about bats and woke up with the song Solsbury Hill blaring in my head. I had a look at the lyrics of that to see if there was any cryptic messages in there but didn’t see anything obvious.

You're very welcome.

It's called neuroplasticity. What happens is that the brain creates thinking patterns and the same old neurons are used time after time, like traffic going down the same old roads. In neuroplasticity new pathways are created so new parts of the brain 'open for traffic' and the thinking changes. One of my old clients had dyslexia so I used to throw juggling balls across the room at her. Hand/eye coordination is in the same area of the brain as dyslexia, ans as she had a brain-block with her dyslexia catching the juggling balls was like sneaking in the back door.

Your thinking patterns are/have been changing for a while so neuroplasticity is kicking in, you're much more in tune with the Spiritual side of you lately. I hate to say this but Spirituality is processed by the brain itself and not some external heavenly force. You're more comfortable/assured with your soma bottles, numbers aren't quite as amazing as they used to be....etc... Stuffing your head full of Matt Khan YouTubes is certainly a change in traffic direction for what's rattling around in your noggin.

Now you've got the trauma out of your system pretty much, you can walk the spiral and visit the past memories with different eyes. I dion't know for sure it's going to happen but if it does, don't worry if the trauma comes back at you. All it's doing is showing itself to you so you can see it through your 'new eyes'. You'll gain a higher truth from it.

You had a more notable experience than you think you did -
Climbing up on Solsbury Hill
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night
He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing, stretching every nerve
I had to listen had no choice
I did not believe the information
I just had to trust imagination
My heart going boom, boom, boom
Son, he said, grab your things I've come to take you home

I wish I could give you this feeling, I guess it's how the father felt when the prodigal son returned.

There's a guy who channels a being called Bashar, there are plenty of YouTubes lying around if you want to pick one but they are heavier. There's one thing he says though that's very pertinent here -
"If you can imagine it, it exists. How can it enter your consciousness if it doesn't exist?"
The problem is that the emphasis is on the consciousness but few have really looked into what the consciousness is. The consciousness IS the illusion. The imagination is as much a part of your consciousness as anything else, and if you decide it's 'lesser' then all you're doing is doing yourself a disservice. If you're going back to your writings, what is that reflecting? See them through your 'new eyes'.

The messages are only cryptic because you haven't found the key that will unlock everything. Everything. It is there, really really there.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’ve followed it up just by going inside and explaining what was going on in the operation, what the mask was and the results of the operation in that could fully hear. That seemed to land OK with her; I had the feeling that she was more interested in getting outside on her bike and playing in the dirt

Children have a wisdom all of their own, did you go play in the dirt with her?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

It sounds as though you are a step ahead of me having maybe done all the youtube vids. For me, this is all so new! I’ve only had a computer at home since 2012 and it had not occurred to me to look on youtube or anywhere else for spiritual teachings, I didn’t think such a thing would exist. I was still very much in hard book mode. I had read a number of spiriutal books such as Power of Now. I can remember putting that down and thinking what the hell was all that about. I’ve read a couple of Deepak Chopra books and I’ve tried twice to get into Abraham Hicks, finding the latter deeply patronising. There was just nothing for me in those books, that style, that teaching. It just didn’t touch me, speak to me, do anything for me.

So along comes Matt Kahn (care of you) and it’s like oh my, this is what I’ve been waiting my whole life for, this has been the part that’s been missing; teachings that I understand from beginning to end, no airy-fairy ‘aren’t I clever’ language, techniques that are so simple yet so profound with full and detailed explanations of why something will work, the foundation, the background to it. Blowing out of the water the old spiritual teachings, now I know why they didn’t work for. I’ve seen enough videos and listened to enough interviews/podcasts to know that this has all come from his own personal experiences from a child to adulthood, so it’s genuine, there’s no ego there, no falsehood, just a deep connection and desire to help people going through their struggles. And I wouldn’t be putting as much energy into watching videos and taking notes if I didn’t think it was worth it. And some of those teachings and techniques I am now doing daily (I’ve made myself get all teary now.)

You have no idea how emotional I get when I'm writing to you. Every post almost, sometimes two or three times a post and Salisbury Hill was the mother of all doozies. If you're tearing up it means a surge of emotion, and emotion is energy in motion. E-motion, gettit? What you've done is made an energetic connection rather than a thought/mind-powered one. Let your emotions go, because if you don't they'll build up and burst. If you let them go it leaves room for other things to come through.

I can understand all that. I've been using computers since around 1990 or so and was teaching web design - and the Millennium Bug - just before 2000 so they've always been a big feature. I've read a few books though and didn't really get to grips with any of them, about the only one that did make sense was the Celestine Prophesy, and at that time there were a lot of synchronicities happening. The thing about books is that they're dictated not by Spirituality but by the usual market forces - books are not made available by Spiritual concepts alone. I've seen Chopra's and Hicks' material on the web and I'm glad I didn't buy the books.

I Love this stuff, really really Love it. Beyond all the concepts and beyond all the baloney is what really matters, getting through the day in one piece and better yet, helping someone to do that too. And you getting emotional means that you've touched something very close to your heart.

I resonated with Matt for the same reasons as you. I think of we were having a few beers and a barbecue I wouldn't want to talk Spirituality, I'd want to find out more about what makes Matt Matt, if that makes sense.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

No it didn’t scare me just suprised me with the intensity of the pull of energy.

That says something in itself.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I don’t think I’m doing very well here; I feel the connection based on the things I’ve observed.

Drop what doesn't serve you, this mindset doesn't serve. OK, what should it be like? I started the same way because I needed something more 'solid' than just be feeling a connection, after all it could just as easily be all in my head. Feeling the connections via observation is more tangible and I'd have been surprised if you'd taken them on feelings only. The observation is often the confirmation and feedback while the feeling is more energetic.

There's something called Gnosis, very simplistically it's knowing without knowing how you know. It's very counter-intuitive because it's 'backwards' to 'regular' knowing. It's a feeling beyond feeling that you knew all along, and Matt's hinting at it in one of his vids. The way he explains it is "You forgot that you were going to remind yourself." It comes in one of his affirmations.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Did you catch up with that UH video in the previous post? Another one missing from my collection, I was rather surprised to see that it’s not on amazon, only as an MP3 download. I may have to contact my brother to see if he’s got that one.

I haven't had the chance as yet, being honest my head isn't in the game and it's not easy being 'me' at the moment. Nothing bad, just mad.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’ve seen a way to do that by putting the letter ‘s’ in front the URL. What I could do with is a way of getting Matt’s videos into text as it is incredibly hard work. The quickest way I have found is using an online voice recognition system (faster than my fingers) but it doesn’t work direct from the video, I have to pause the video and repeat it, it saves me from typing it up, just have to tidy it but that’s the quickest way I’ve found but it can take a whole weekend to do just one video.

And just when I think I’ve got to be near the end now, I’ll be able to take it a bit easier on the next video, he begins by saying ..... "When we are on a spiritual journey we tend to realise sooner or later that it doesn't actually matter what happens to you but the level of consciousness you are at when things happen.” So no, I can’t take it easy cos i’m sitting here, once again, thinking sh** that’s me, this is exactly me. I’ve had so many moments like that!

Patrycia

Transcribing from sound/voice to text isn't a lot of fun, short of paying a lot for software or a very good typist.

You have all of eternity to be the epitome of Spirituality, you have all of eternity to..... anything you like, including being a Matt Khan clone.

You have this moment to be Patrycia Rose, just this moment and once it's gone it's gone. Once you have read this the moment has vanished and as you Journey through space/time it will be replaced by another Now Slice, another moment. In the rush to grow up we forget our childhoods, we forget where we're coming from and so lose the Path to where we are going. Matt's videos will be around for a long time yet, more assuredly if you save them to your hard drive. You will not have this experience - whatever shape or form that takes for you - ever again. Matt's videos will remain Matt's videos but you are forever changing.

What makes any moment more important than any other? What makes you less one moment and more in another, and less or more of what?

One of the most Spiritually poignant things I've seen is this - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU7Ga7qTLDU

Rutger Hauer plays a replicant who comes to earth to kill his makers, along with another three. Harrison Ford is the Bladerunner whose job it is to 'retire' the replicants because they're banned from ever coming to earth. The replicants also have a time-limited Lifespan, and his Life is just ending as this scene happens.

What are your thoughts on the vid?

[Patrycia-Rose]

Good morning Mr G,

You've never seen Good Morning Vietnam? That's it, we're through

.

That really made me laugh! But, you’ll be pleased to know that as coincidence had it, I saw that Good Morning Vietnam was on one of the freeview channels in the week, so I started watching it last night. I would have finished but it was getting late and I got waylaid by a very subtle piece of music in the background that instantly transported me back to being a kid, knew the piece well but didn’t know who it was by or what it was called. So me being me, I had to find out right that instant so I started searching on my tablet and it took some time to find it, because a lot of the soundtrack listings weren’t including it. But finally, I found it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Sdfwan5tMw

Strange that you say that. I've been thinking of revisiting my stories and carrying on, I guess what I'm reluctant for is what might be waiting for me when I get there, or should I say who? As in the 'new me'.

can totally relate to that. When I say ‘re-visit’ I meant really transporting myself into their world, usually in the early hours of the morning. I wouldn’t want to continue with the actual story, (although I had copious notes for any sequels). For starters, I got two of those manuscripts as perfect as I could, and I know that my literary skills are not what they were when I wrote those stories twenty five years ago. When I had rejection letters from publishers, they would always say the same thing; acknowledging that I could write, knew how to lay out a novel, enjoyed the story etc but my novels wouldn’t fit neatly into a genre. There was a time when I lived for writing, would wake up in the night with ideas and sentences and would record them all for the weekend. So really, it’s not something I would want to get into again.

For me it's the way it is, and while I grew up with Byron I have to accept that he's not there any more, very sadly.

David Byron will always have a place in my heart, always has done, always will do. His amazing voice lives on and you only have to look at some of the comments on youtube videos to know he’s still adored by fans.

I'm getting old and stiff. I was thinking about the old judo warm-ups but no courage of my convictions lol. I used to swim a lot too, which would have helped to keep me supple. Tai Chi seems to be just the job for a knackered old git.

I don’t know anything about judo moves and only a brief knowledge of tai chi but if you slowed those judo moves right down, would those moves be similar to tai chi?

I seemed to have transitioned into a knackered old git in the space of a few short months. I look back on it now and I used to do a full day at work, go for a two mile walk at lunch time and come home and go for a run. I’m thinking now, how on earth did I used to do that?

I dion't know for sure it's going to happen but if it does, don't worry if the trauma comes back at you.

Mmm, now that caught my eye. I don’t know if this is related but last week (thank goodness it happened at home) I woke up one morning full of anger, it had a life of its own and if it moved, I was angry with it. I found it quite scary because it seemed to come from nowhere, was so intense and I felt out of control. I tried to do all sorts of things to try to calm down but nothing was touching it. Eventually my dowsing suggested the blue aura soma bottle and thank god, that seemed to work and calm things down. Then I felt just kind of numb and spaced out and that slid in exhaustion. Took four days to finally feel something approaching normal.

And then yesterday, I had my first session of cranio sacral therapy. I was so pleased that I immediately felt the energy in my body, even though it was doing some weird things. The therapist said that I had a lot of shock in my body, I don’t think is from the trauma I’m fairly sure this is from the bowen therapy it just didn’t suit me. Thing is with cranio it works where the body wants to work, your mind doesn’t come into it. But I feel pretty heavy energy this morning, so I think I’ve got a long way to go.

The numbers have been a bit more intense of late. I’ve had a couple of wakings at 1:23 and a 4.44 the other day, not had any 4’s before. But on the drive home yesterday from cranio, the car milometer said 135135. That seems to indicate that spirit are supporting me with this healing.

You had a more notable experience than you think you did -
Climbing up on Solsbury Hill
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night
He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing, stretching every nerve
I had to listen had no choice
I did not believe the information
I just had to trust imagination
My heart going boom, boom, boom
Son, he said, grab your things I've come to take you home

I wish I could give you this feeling, I guess it's how the father felt when the prodigal son returned.

So are you thinking that this is about parts of me integrating? Also, I got very absorbed into the meaning of the song for Peter Gabriel. According to stuff that I found on net, the ‘eagle’ was Bruce Springsteen and what came to mind for me was MK and the impact he’s had.

You have no idea how emotional I get when I'm writing to you. Every post almost, sometimes two or three times a post and Salisbury Hill was the mother of all doozies. If you're tearing up it means a surge of emotion, and emotion is energy in motion. E-motion, gettit?

Yes, I realised many years ago, that if I get emotional at something it means there’s some truth in it for me.

I resonated with Matt for the same reasons as you. I think of we were having a few beers and a barbecue I wouldn't want to talk Spirituality, I'd want to find out more about what makes Matt Matt, if that makes sense.

That information is out there, a short recount of personal experience here and there within the videos. But what really gives an insight is this video which I found deeply moving, the first 30 minutes is about his childhood within his family. It took a monumental amount of courage to share that. I think you’d find it interesting:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26oP5VXEyHg

I haven't had the chance as yet, being honest my head isn't in the game and it's not easy being 'me' at the moment. Nothing bad, just mad.

I can understand what you mean. Anything I can help with? I’m quite good at mad.

You have all of eternity to be the epitome of Spirituality, you have all of eternity to..... anything you like, including being a Matt Khan clone.

Aye, a noble ambition if ever there was one but that is not my conscious intention, I’d certainly be setting myself up to fail. But yes, I certainly am going at this with an intensity which I’m not sure what it’s about. I just know I don’t do this intensity for a long period of time without a good reason. Maybe the newness of it, maybe it’s a relief to know that I can still feel this intense about something, maybe on a sub-consious level my mind is storing it all and pulling it out when needed, maybe it’s something for the future as I maybe go about strongly implementing a couple of teachings. Lots of maybe’s but as you say, there’s time for it to settle and lead to wherever it’s leading.

You have this moment to be Patrycia Rose, just this moment and once it's gone it's gone.

There’s something in that and I remember the medium saying something similar and I thought this again, I’m not quite sure what he meant when he said ‘you haven’t taken account of Patrycia’.

One of the most Spiritually poignant things I've seen is this - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU7Ga7qTLDU

Rutger Hauer plays a replicant who comes to earth to kill his makers, along with another three. Harrison Ford is the Bladerunner whose job it is to 'retire' the replicants because they're banned from ever coming to earth. The replicants also have a time-limited Lifespan, and his Life is just ending as this scene happens.

What are your thoughts on the vid

I do have that DVD, I remember seeing it at the cinema. Remember the Vangelis soundtrack. Yep, that scene was pretty poignant, particularly the white dove at the end. The bit that stood out for me was the look of astonishment on Deckard’s face.


Patrycia

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Good morning Mr G,

And a very good morning to you, Patrycia.

[quote=Patrycia-Rose]That really made me laugh! But, you’ll be pleased to know that as coincidence had it, I saw that Good Morning Vietnam was on one of the freeview channels in the week, so I started watching it last night. I would have finished but it was getting late and I got waylaid by a very subtle piece of music in the background that instantly transported me back to being a kid, knew the piece well but didn’t know who it was by or what it was called. So me being me, I had to find out right that instant so I started searching on my tablet and it took some time to find it, because a lot of the soundtrack listings weren’t including it. But finally, I found it:

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Sdfwan5tMw

It's a start I suppose lol. Every one of Williams' films was unique and there was never a sequel to any of them as far as I remember. Just before he died they were talking about a sequel to Mrs Doubtfire, which he was a long way from being happy with. Also on the cards, supposedly, was a sequel to Good Morning Vietnam too that was ready to begin production.

I remember that track from somewhere and the album cover that comes up in the YouTube frame looks familiar too. I had a few orchestral ones as well, including movies soundtracks so unless I'm getting mixed up with one of those. It was.... 1975???? after all.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

can totally relate to that. When I say ‘re-visit’ I meant really transporting myself into their world, usually in the early hours of the morning. I wouldn’t want to continue with the actual story, (although I had copious notes for any sequels). For starters, I got two of those manuscripts as perfect as I could, and I know that my literary skills are not what they were when I wrote those stories twenty five years ago. When I had rejection letters from publishers, they would always say the same thing; acknowledging that I could write, knew how to lay out a novel, enjoyed the story etc but my novels wouldn’t fit neatly into a genre. There was a time when I lived for writing, would wake up in the night with ideas and sentences and would record them all for the weekend. So really, it’s not something I would want to get into again.

It all began as an idea I had in a forum and a group of us talked about it. I built a sire where we could take on a character and contribute to a continuing story from that character's perspective. It made the story a little disjointed because we would never put words in another character's mouth and that made conversations difficult. It petered out after nearly three years all told, but it was very intensive.

Going back to the story again would be nostalgia if anything but it played itself out. It was one of those things that fitted for the time, the place and the people around but it would be out of time now. When I was writing I had consciousness shifts as the clairsentience kicked in, I guess it's feeling that again that I was looking for.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

David Byron will always have a place in my heart, always has done, always will do. His amazing voice lives on and you only have to look at some of the comments on youtube videos to know he’s still adored by fans.

The Heep were there at some of the most emotional times of my Life, at a time when I was correlating lyrics with what was going on. I was pretty messed up at that time. I don't look back in anger though, I can't change the past but I can change how I move forwards with it.

This past while back I've been going over so many aspects of my Life in detail and this is one of them. I was shown a few things about my Life and the one conclusion I came to was that if I'd had the choice I;d do it all over again. All of it. So as Spirit I'd make the same choices to have the same experiences so that the same things could happen, and forget I'd made those choices.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I don’t know anything about judo moves and only a brief knowledge of tai chi but if you slowed those judo moves right down, would those moves be similar to tai chi?

I seemed to have transitioned into a knackered old git in the space of a few short months. I look back on it now and I used to do a full day at work, go for a two mile walk at lunch time and come home and go for a run. I’m thinking now, how on earth did I used to do that?

Here's another aspect that brings me back. I started judo because I was a very angry young man and now we're talking about going back to judo. The anger won't come back, what's there though is the fight having gone so it's a good aspect for a change. There were specific warm-up exercises for suppleness and stretching that would likely help, thanks for the idea. I'm getting stiff in my old age and the bones are creaking.

Sometimes Life slows you down, the body can only take so much before its mechanisms kick in and it says enough is enough.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Mmm, now that caught my eye. I don’t know if this is related but last week (thank goodness it happened at home) I woke up one morning full of anger, it had a life of its own and if it moved, I was angry with it. I found it quite scary because it seemed to come from nowhere, was so intense and I felt out of control. I tried to do all sorts of things to try to calm down but nothing was touching it. Eventually my dowsing suggested the blue aura soma bottle and thank god, that seemed to work and calm things down. Then I felt just kind of numb and spaced out and that slid in exhaustion. Took four days to finally feel something approaching normal.

And then yesterday, I had my first session of cranio sacral therapy. I was so pleased that I immediately felt the energy in my body, even though it was doing some weird things. The therapist said that I had a lot of shock in my body, I don’t think is from the trauma I’m fairly sure this is from the bowen therapy it just didn’t suit me. Thing is with cranio it works where the body wants to work, your mind doesn’t come into it. But I feel pretty heavy energy this morning, so I think I’ve got a long way to go.

The numbers have been a bit more intense of late. I’ve had a couple of wakings at 1:23 and a 4.44 the other day, not had any 4’s before. But on the drive home yesterday from cranio, the car milometer said 135135. That seems to indicate that spirit are supporting me with this healing.

One of the supposed symptoms of ascension is the clearing out of emotions and stale energies so that room can be made from new ones. Luckily I'd dealt with my anger many years ago, otherwise I could have been in real trouble by now. I think this is what's happening with you, that all this emotion is being brought to the surface so you can deal with it and move on.

Anger is an energy, and it's one of the most if not the most primordial and strongest of them all. One of the mistakes people make when dealing with anger is to resist it, but what we resist persists. It's an energy and needs to be dealt with in that context. Anger can be directed against itself and it doesn't have to be expressed in harmful ways. When you have anger, you can be angry at being angry and use that to channel the energy in ways that don't cause any harm.

One of the techniques that worked for me was to visualise the energy as water or something I could see - like a superpower. I used to stand there with my arms and legs spread as wide as possible and watch as the energy seeped through my skin. Or raise my hands out with the palms up so that they energy could find a way out of my body. It doesn't matter what you visualise as long as you use the strongest one. You can feel like a right wally, but if you use something like that as soon as you feel it rising it can help.

Don't worry about feeling anything in particular, just go with the flow, because going against it doen't help. Accepting yourself as you are is the best thing you can do whatever that may be. "A long way to go" is pretty relative anyway.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

So are you thinking that this is about parts of me integrating? Also, I got very absorbed into the meaning of the song for Peter Gabriel. According to stuff that I found on net, the ‘eagle’ was Bruce Springsteen and what came to mind for me was MK and the impact he’s had.

I could tell you so many things but they wouldn't make any sense to you right now, simply because you don't have a frame of reference to start from. That's just the way it is for you and that's OK. What you haven't done much of throughout this process is internalised, you've always gone to external sources for answers. You put great store in your soma bottles and numbers. Here's the thing, you are the answer looking for the question. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your looking to soma bottles and numbers but you're missing the most important part of this equation - you're resonating at that level. This isn't happening to you, this is happening because of you and that's a hugely important distinction.

For you, at the moment, it's still black and white - remember that? What you're not doing is finding that grey area in between. You're looking at your car milometer and "it seems to indicate that Spirit are supporting me."

Spirit isn't 'out there', you are not 'in here'.

The meaning of the song is for Peter Gabriel, he wrote it so he'll have his own meaning. There's something inside that you resonated with so the song has meaning for you, personally.

Solsbury Hill is supposed to be a mystical place and climbing up the hill is getting away from it all, going 'above'. Going above the lights, you could see them because you weren't surrounded by them. The winds of change blowing, freely. The eagle conveys the messages and power of Spirit......

"Forget your mind, use your imagination, listen to your heart."
Your mind can only work in what it knows, what it has experience of so anything outside of that is where the mind fears to read. Your imagination is free, it can go anywhere any time. Your heart will tell you right from wrong, when your imagination has touched truth or if it's fantasy - but even fantasies have a message for you..

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Yes, I realised many years ago, that if I get emotional at something it means there’s some truth in it for me.

You are energy, everything is energy.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

That information is out there, a short recount of personal experience here and there within the videos. But what really gives an insight is this video which I found deeply moving, the first 30 minutes is about his childhood within his family. It took a monumental amount of courage to share that. I think you’d find it interesting:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26oP5VXEyHg

I think you've sent me that link not so long ago. I've had a look but it's very difficult to deal with right now because I have some first class weirdness going on. There's a guy I used to be at the judo with still on the go, he knew a lot about my family although I didn't know it at the time. I wasn't ready then to deal with my emotions over my father. He's been talking to two guys who now live in the same house as my parents did, they're brothers who knew them very well and one of them worked with him for years. One of them was the first on the scene at my father's accident. I'm going to have to find the courage to go see them one day.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I can understand what you mean. Anything I can help with? I’m quite good at mad.

Thanks for the offer but it's stuff I need to process and get through in my own way. The energies have been so bad and intense that my flesh has been crawling and my skin's been doing the tango with itself.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Aye, a noble ambition if ever there was one but that is not my conscious intention, I’d certainly be setting myself up to fail. But yes, I certainly am going at this with an intensity which I’m not sure what it’s about. I just know I don’t do this intensity for a long period of time without a good reason. Maybe the newness of it, maybe it’s a relief to know that I can still feel this intense about something, maybe on a sub-consious level my mind is storing it all and pulling it out when needed, maybe it’s something for the future as I maybe go about strongly implementing a couple of teachings. Lots of maybe’s but as you say, there’s time for it to settle and lead to wherever it’s leading.

There's one thing for sure and that's things happen for a reason. We're all going to 'get there' either because of or despite ourselves, which one it is is your choice. We never know what's around the next corner but nothing is wasted, and often all we have is the hope that it all means something.

Eternity is a long time after all.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

There’s something in that and I remember the medium saying something similar and I thought this again, I’m not quite sure what he meant when he said ‘you haven’t taken account of Patrycia’.

The meaning of that one is going to depend on the context I think. As Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage..." etc. Often we play a role, we think that role is the 'real us' until we step outside of ourselves.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I do have that DVD, I remember seeing it at the cinema. Remember the Vangelis soundtrack. Yep, that scene was pretty poignant, particularly the white dove at the end. The bit that stood out for me was the look of astonishment on Deckard’s face.


Patrycia

But was Deckard a replicant? There's a lot of discussion about that, especially in the sequel. Perhaps Deckard was so astonished because replicants could be very human after all, he'd just spent the entire movie killing Roy and his compatriots yet Roy showed him so much compassion in saving him. Roy had seen things that they wouldn't have believed, and so much destruction and so much beauty in the destruction. Roy had exceeded his programming, something Tyrell seemed very proud of just before he died.

We're only human after all.

[Patrycia-Rose]

Hello Mr G,

This past while back I've been going over so many aspects of my Life in detail and this is one of them.

Yes I’ve been doing this, not so consciously but I will find that a memory of an experience, situation, person will just come up in my mind with no apparent reason; some areas of life easier to look back upon than others. And I’ve felt a longing to go back and have a day with that person, that situation, that experience. I got told by the medium I saw recently that I should stop doing this but I think he meant around the trauma, because I often think if only I could go back, I would do things differently. I guess that’s something a lot of people could identify with, it’s having to live with the consequences of it.

But just recalling memories, I think is inevitable as you get older and for me, it feels like a very long life indeed with an even longer one stretching out in front of me.

One of the supposed symptoms of ascension is the clearing out of emotions and stale energies so that room can be made from new ones. .

I have the feeling that the Ascension symptoms I experienced earlier on have gone. I'm not sure whether I am still in Ascension or not or if any of my current difficulties, particularly muscular tension in my middle back, is ascension or just tension or something different again.

I was interested to hear Matt saying on one of his radio broadcast or videos, I can't remember which now, that the Earth is moving upward on its axis and this is giving rise to people's experience of Ascension. So it would seem as if there are scientific reasons for ascension.

Accepting yourself as you are is the best thing you can do whatever that may be. "A long way to go" is pretty relative anyway.

And this is where I have the greatest difficulty. I have this belief/desire to be as physically perfect as I can be. I am not emotionally perfect, nor am I mentally perfect both of which I am comfortable with and accept. However I cannot seem to accept physical imperfection. I think I need to look into this and where this comes from. For the last 12 years, since the trauma symptoms have appeared, I have driven headlong and with unending enthusiasm and absolute resolve and determination to resolve this. I have looked into nutrition, supplements, healing modalities and some things that most people have not heard of. I have tried the majority of them and on more than one occasion I have made things worse or created a new problem. Even now, when I am having cranial sacral therapy, I am already considering my next move. On the one hand, I continue to search for physical healing, but on the other hand, it feels completely hopeless and I don't believe I will ever recover. So two complete opposing places to be.

I could tell you so many things but they wouldn't make any sense to you right now, simply because you don't have a frame of reference to start from.

I may have a frame of reference, obviously there are some experiences I’ve had that I don’t feel comfortable writing about on a public forum, so (sacred geometry and maths aside) I may have a frame of reference, so do tell!

. What you haven't done much of throughout this process is internalised, you've always gone to external sources for answers.

Wouldn’t the inner child work I did be considered internal work?

You put great store in your soma bottles and numbers.

Yes, I put great store in the Aura soma bottles. Because they work. There have been many times when I have experienced physical or emotional upset where the actual physical bottles I have, and also the recently acquired pomanders, have helped me greatly. They are made up of essential oils, plant dyes, herbal and Crystal energy so it is all good stuff. Plus the fact they’re rather beautiful to look at, so I’ve got some of them displayed amongst my crystal collection. Also my guides put these colour combinations in my third eye almost daily, so it is a way of them communicating and giving me healing I need so there is a good foundation for me to put store in aura Soma.

Conversely, I do not put great store in the numbers as this is a fairly new phenomenon for me. I am very aware, that although it may be interesting to google the meaning of numbers, these explanations are from a human perspective. I do not know whether these explanations given are channelled information. So I have no real understanding of what these individual numbers mean, I just am aware that they have for the last six months or so become very noticeable. More about numbers later.

For you, at the moment, it's still black and white - remember that?

How could I forget, I was reminded of it the other day, but still no idea what that meant.

There's a guy I used to be at the judo with still on the go, he knew a lot about my family although I didn't know it at the time. I wasn't ready then to deal with my emotions over my father. He's been talking to two guys who now live in the same house as my parents did, they're brothers who knew them very well and one of them worked with him for years. One of them was the first on the scene at my father's accident. I'm going to have to find the courage to go see them one day.

You know, that very much feels like it is something you think you Should do, rather than what you Want to do. What would you have to gain by seeing them? Consider the answer and that will lead you in the right direction.



I had my third session of cranio sacral therapy yesterday, progress is slow. Something has definitely got hold of me and I’m not sure what. But what was really noticeable, and this was all in the space of an hour - is that on the drive home I noticed that petrol at my local station was £1.23, the cheque I wrote for the therapist ended with 1234; I sat down to type up notes from the session and saw on my computer it 11:11 on 14 04.


Patrycia

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Hello Mr G,

Good morning Patrycia

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Yes I’ve been doing this, not so consciously but I will find that a memory of an experience, situation, person will just come up in my mind with no apparent reason; some areas of life easier to look back upon than others. And I’ve felt a longing to go back and have a day with that person, that situation, that experience. I got told by the medium I saw recently that I should stop doing this but I think he meant around the trauma, because I often think if only I could go back, I would do things differently. I guess that’s something a lot of people could identify with, it’s having to live with the consequences of

But just recalling memories, I think is inevitable as you get older and for me, it feels like a very long life indeed with an even longer one stretching out in front of me.

What it seems to be doing is clearing out old emotions. While it wsn't easy I don't have any regrets and nothing I can change anyway so I just don't think about it. It seems to be the opposite, that I'm making sense of or accepting what had happened in a coming-to-terms way and usually afterwards everything feels lighter. There's a theme of letting go, of losing the physical and emotional attachments.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I have the feeling that the Ascension symptoms I experienced earlier on have gone. I'm not sure whether I am still in Ascension or not or if any of my current difficulties, particularly muscular tension in my middle back, is ascension or just tension or something different again.

I was interested to hear Matt saying on one of his radio broadcast or videos, I can't remember which now, that the Earth is moving upward on its axis and this is giving rise to people's experience of Ascension. So it would seem as if there are scientific reasons for ascension.

It's really more about definition than anything else - what is your definition of Ascension? And if you haven't evolved into some exotic plane of existence have you Ascended at all? It's going back to Matt's definition, that we're bringing 5th dimensional consciousness into this dimension, but again it's definition time so what is 5th dimensional consciousness?

You are the answer, and things happen BECAUSE of you not TO you.

How different do you feel? How differently do you think?

The earth can't move upwards on its axis, put very simply the only ways it can change direction is around the sun or out of the gravitational pull, which would send it spinning into space on its own. The earth spins on its own axis and spins around the sun, but the sun itself is in orbit so it's shooting across the galaxy. The path the earth takes is spiral. Really, in space direction is meaningless. If the earth is moving on its axis, which way is up and what is it relative to?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

And this is where I have the greatest difficulty. I have this belief/desire to be as physically perfect as I can be. I am not emotionally perfect, nor am I mentally perfect both of which I am comfortable with and accept. However I cannot seem to accept physical imperfection. I think I need to look into this and where this comes from. For the last 12 years, since the trauma symptoms have appeared, I have driven headlong and with unending enthusiasm and absolute resolve and determination to resolve this. I have looked into nutrition, supplements, healing modalities and some things that most people have not heard of. I have tried the majority of them and on more than one occasion I have made things worse or created a new problem. Even now, when I am having cranial sacral therapy, I am already considering my next move. On the one hand, I continue to search for physical healing, but on the other hand, it feels completely hopeless and I don't believe I will ever recover. So two complete opposing places to be.

You've been telling me about all these therapies and sometimes it's like you're showing me a flipbook, only you're talking really fast and zipping through the pages. It's always felt as though you've been running away from something.

What are you going to do when you run out of modalities? Are you going to try ever more exotic and strange?

If you're considering your next move for the cranial sacral therapy, haven't you already convinced yourself with a high degree of certainty that it's going to be a complete waste of time?

Go back to your trauma, to when you were that little girl lying on the table and the nurse is putting the mask on your face. Other than frightened and scared, what else is going through your mind? That you are a little girl, you feel powerless and too weak to resist? At some stage afterwards, did you make yourself a promise never to feel that way again?

There's one thing with all this bout you telling me about your therapies, that you're very much at odds with yourself.

What if you've just been expending your energies in the wrong direction? Just because you haven't fund a 'cure' it doesn't mean to say there isn't one. So, back to the question - with another added for good measure. What is it you're trying to heal, and what is it you're trying to recover from?

Teal Swan does a really good exercise when she's talking about shadow work, what she does it keeps digging through the layers one by one until she gets to the root. You're pretty much stuck with the need for healing, but in Teal's technique there is something you need to heal, and the reasons you need to heal it.

The drive to heal and the hopelessness aren't opposing, they're complimentary. The drive is push/pull towards wholeness, which is what you don't have at the moment. Einstein said that "Insanity is doing the same thing time after time and expecting different results." If nothing changes then nothing changes.

What does your newly-acquired fifth-dimensional consciousness say abut all this?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I may have a frame of reference, obviously there are some experiences I’ve had that I don’t feel comfortable writing about on a public forum, so (sacred geometry and maths aside) I may have a frame of reference, so do tell!

It has nothing to do with Sacred Geometry or anything else that's usually found in an open forum. Have you been on the grass plains or walked in the citadel? Have you been in the Cave of the Ancients and spent time with the light beings? Do you remember standing in the great hall, with the curved stairs on either side? You were standing on the right, by the way.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Wouldn’t the inner child work I did be considered internal work?

That's up for discussion, while some would say yes others would say that strictly speaking, while the Child Inside is internal it's different. Some would say Spirituality is inner work but nothing to do with the Child Inside. The Child Inside really goes back further and deeper - and I;m being told that it's not the 'Inner Child' it's the 'Child Inside'. Oops, sorry. Remember we talked about Matt telling you that your consciousness needed to give your body its own time to heal? The Child Inside is a bit like that, the part of all of us that has never really grown up.

By the way, blue teddy bear?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Yes, I put great store in the Aura soma bottles. Because they work. There have been many times when I have experienced physical or emotional upset where the actual physical bottles I have, and also the recently acquired pomanders, have helped me greatly. They are made up of essential oils, plant dyes, herbal and Crystal energy so it is all good stuff. Plus the fact they’re rather beautiful to look at, so I’ve got some of them displayed amongst my crystal collection. Also my guides put these colour combinations in my third eye almost daily, so it is a way of them communicating and giving me healing I need so there is a good foundation for me to put store in aura Soma.

Conversely, I do not put great store in the numbers as this is a fairly new phenomenon for me. I am very aware, that although it may be interesting to google the meaning of numbers, these explanations are from a human perspective. I do not know whether these explanations given are channelled information. So I have no real understanding of what these individual numbers mean, I just am aware that they have for the last six months or so become very noticeable. More about numbers later.

Conversely you don't put a great store in numbers yet what about your last paragraph?

OK, when you're working with your aura soma bottles, do you feel you have a Spirit connection, does it feel that whoever is putting the colours into your third eye is outside of you? When I'm doing any mediumship it always feels as though I'm communicating with a 'third party' or Spirit, there's always someone outside of me. There are also times when I'm thinking things through and a voice will pop into my head with an answer, but that voice isn't external but very much internal. Where I'm trying to lead you here is are your Guides 'internal'? Is there something else going on?

While you don't put a lot of store on your numbers they're still an 'accepted' sign that you're tuning into Spirit in a more practical way. While it doesn't matter so much to you personally perhaps the idea has 'rubbed off' on you because others have been talking about it?

So while you're tuning into your Guides - whatever they might mean to you - with your soma bottles your Guides/Spirit is also tuning into you with your numbers. Your numbers is Spirit's way of reflecting back at you if you like, showing you that there's a two-way communications going on. With numbers there's what's called a critical mass, because a lot of other people put a lot of store in them it's as though though the subject kinda takes on a Life of its own. At the very least it means that you're tuning into that level of consciousness. Much of Spirituality is symbols, and it'll continue to be symbols until such time as we can see the colour of consciousness. What also needs to happen is that what Spirit is trying to communicate has to be 'translated' into what the human mind can understand. Numbers is a good way to do that. So yes, the explanations are from a human perspective but if they were from Spirit's perspective, would you be able to understand? Spirit would quite happily use numbers in the very same way as you use soma bottles, that they're a form of communication. But with numbers, the 'real world' is communicating with you and it's not just in your head.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

How could I forget, I was reminded of it the other day, but still no idea what that meant.

you versus Spirit, perhaps you versus your Guides depending on how you answer the earlier question. Soma bottles versus numbers, you versus your traumas....

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

However I cannot seem to accept physical imperfection.

and hence your drive to 'cure' it. Your acceptance versus non-acceptance.

There is never two, there is always three.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

However I cannot seem to accept physical imperfection.

You know, that very much feels like it is something you think you Should do, rather than what you Want to do. What would you have to gain by seeing them? Consider the answer and that will lead you in the right direction.



I had my third session of cranio sacral therapy yesterday, progress is slow. Something has definitely got hold of me and I’m not sure what. But what was really noticeable, and this was all in the space of an hour - is that on the drive home I noticed that petrol at my local station was £1.23, the cheque I wrote for the therapist ended with 1234; I sat down to type up notes from the session and saw on my computer it 11:11 on 14 04.


Patrycia[/quote]Short of a long explanation...... The two guys are living in the house my parents lived in, although nowadays they're knocked through into one. The house is less than five minutes walk from the farm he worked, and about the same where the accident happened. Both of the guys knew my father well, one of them worked on the same farm and was first on the scene of the accident. I've had a few people walk up to me and ask me if I'm a Hepburn because I have family traits and look very much like my dad. Every time, without fail, when that happens I get very emotional. I'm not sure I have the strength to handle going to see those guys, at least not yet. I know I'm making excuses and I need to for so many reasons, but.....

By the way, you have got a hold of you. The Universe is a reflection of you, to put it simply so what you're seeing with the numbers and the apparent coincidences can only come from you.

[Patrycia-Rose]

Hi there Mr G,

It's really more about definition than anything else - what is your definition of Ascension?

A whole bunch of physical weirdness and lots of numbers!

And if you haven't evolved into some exotic plane of existence have you Ascended at all? It's going back to Matt's definition, that we're bringing 5th dimensional consciousness into this dimension, but again it's definition time so what is 5th dimensional consciousness?

I do agree that ascension isn’t an existence on an exotic plane. Matt’s bringing fifth dimensional consciousness to the earth plane makes sense, and it is living from a more heart centred way however difficult that may be with life’s challenges, but I guess that’s the test isn’t it?

How different do you feel? How differently do you think?

I don’t feel any different, a bit more physically battered in recent months. I maybe think differently, or am aware of a different way of thinking but that’s to do with Matt’s teachings, showing an alternate way, not different thinking within or from my own mind / thoughts.

What are you going to do when you run out of modalities? Are you going to try ever more exotic and strange?

I’ve already tried some of the more exotic and strange, none of that made any difference either. I did briefly look into bi-aura therapy and that looked very interesting. Even managed to find a therapist in my area which when I looked several years ago there wasn’t anyone who did it. It’s pretty spectacular to watch someone perform it and I understand completely about working with the energy field. But given that many of these therapies have not worked, and in some cases, made the situation worse, I’m reluctant to jump in. The cranio practitioner I’m working with, said that a lot of these healing modalities are done to you whereas with cranio, the body sets the agenda, you’re seeking and getting it’s permission where with the bowen the body got the treatment whether it wanted it or not, and it clearly didn’t.

If you're considering your next move for the cranial sacral therapy, haven't you already convinced yourself with a high degree of certainty that it's going to be a complete waste of time?

Yes, that is one way of looking at it and that thought has occurred to me in the past however, it is supposed to be of comfort to me, don’t worry Patrycia, if this doesn’t work we’ll try something else.

Go back to your trauma, to when you were that little girl lying on the table and the nurse is putting the mask on your face. Other than frightened and scared, what else is going through your mind? That you are a little girl, you feel powerless and too weak to resist? At some stage afterwards, did you make yourself a promise never to feel that way again?

To be honest, I don’t remember much about it apart from those few memories I mentioned a few posts ago. I certainly wasn’t capable of conscious thought at that age.

There's one thing with all this bout you telling me about your therapies, that you're very much at odds with yourself.

I don’t feel at odds with myself. I feel at odds with the world / with life – always have done and most likely always will.

Just because you haven't fund a 'cure' it doesn't mean to say there isn't one.

Well that is one thought that has kept me going. I know that everything is energy, so my two trauma symptoms are an energy and it just means finding the right vibration, but alas I am beginning to wonder if it exists at all. I tried vibrational essences for a year with a practitioner to no avail.

So, back to the question - with another added for good measure. What is it you're trying to heal, and what is it you're trying to recover from?

I’m trying to heal from two specific physical injuries if you like as a result of the trauma. They’re physical manifesting from the stress of it all. That stress came out of nowhere and lasted for a couple of months and the last 4 days were hell on earth, I could barely function. Ongoing trauma like that is going to make an impact (complex PTSD) so I’m not surprised I didn’t go through that without it making it’s mark. However, what does surprise me is the number of healings I’ve tried, some for a year or more, and neither one of them has improved even the slightest. So you have wonder if the injuries just can’t be recovered from.

What does your newly-acquired fifth-dimensional consciousness say abut all this?

That I should be loving myself relentlessly. One of the reasons I’ve been devouring every word of Matt’s teachings is to have an overview of each teaching and then pick one or two and then try to really implement them, live and breathe them, and see what happens. I’m almost there too. I think I’ve only got a couple to go.

It has nothing to do with Sacred Geometry or anything else that's usually found in an open forum. Have you been on the grass plains or walked in the citadel? Have you been in the Cave of the Ancients and spent time with the light beings? Do you remember standing in the great hall, with the curved stairs on either side? You were standing on the right, by the way.

Now that made me feel very emotional. Because from a very young age, 8 or so, I’ve had a vivid imagination, well it’s more than that. Probably about 2001 I started to discover a plane of existence that wasn’t the earth plane, but wasn’t spirit, it was something in-between I guess, I didn’t think too much about it but I would live there as a parallel to life here. I would go there every night and talk and be with the people there and it was far more heartfelt, rewarding, full of life than anything here had to offer. It was when I saw those words you put, it made me remember it all and the boundless energy I had to be there, living that life, protecting it but somehow it’s all faded. I know none of that will make too much sense but it is how it was.

By the way, blue teddy bear?

It was a teddy bear with me wearing and white and blue dressing gown. Before I went into hospital when I was five, my parents took many photos of me in that dressing gown with that teddy bear; the reason being I had long blonde hair and my mother knew with me going into hospital, I would find it stressful to have someone touching or brushing my hair, so I had it cut short.

Conversely you don't put a great store in numbers yet what about your last paragraph?

Yep, the point I was making was that I don’t put great store in the numbers because I don’t understand what they’re trying to tell me, other that googling which as I said comes from a human interpretation – but that example I gave is a good one for how intense the numbers can get. I’ve been seeing many 4s lately – and remember that not so long ago that number was missing from the others I got.

I get that they’re communicating but what are they communicating? Is the universe saying hi there, we see what you’re doing – or do the specific numbers mean different things?

OK, when you're working with your aura soma bottles, do you feel you have a Spirit connection, does it feel that whoever is putting the colours into your third eye is outside of you?

Yes I feel the aura soma colours received into my third eye comes from an external source, my guides, spirit. I can put one there myself but it won’t feel right. (My third eye is my strongest chakra - much needed for living that other life). For instance, if my guides put a colour there, I can try and change it to another colour but it hurts to do that (I’ve tried once or twice to see what would happen).



Patrycia