He never leaves my mind

[august2803]

If you really want to understand if this is true or you fooling yourself i would take a 10-day vipassana meditation course, it could be a connection, but what you are presenting is the typical bait for women, like you want what you can not get, maybe he is the one who got away huh?

[druidess]

Originally Posted by august2803

If you really want to understand if this is true or you fooling yourself i would take a 10-day vipassana meditation course, it could be a connection, but what you are presenting is the typical bait for women, like you want what you can not get, maybe he is the one who got away huh?

I've been making more of a conscious effort lately to let go and I feel like I see more things directly related to him. It confuses me but at the same point I also see what everyone else has mentioned. At this point I'm trying to go based off of what I know for a fact.

I really want to connect with someone and it's so hard when your mind is on someone else.

Thanks for the suggestion! How would you be able to understand that through the vipassana mediation?

[Raziel]

Originally Posted by druidess

I've been making more of a conscious effort lately to let go and I feel like I see more things directly related to him. It confuses me but at the same point I also see what everyone else has mentioned. At this point I'm trying to go based off of what I know for a fact.

I really want to connect with someone and it's so hard when your mind is on someone else.

What's the big pull towards him - is it the night in question, being held?

Was he a catch in your eyes- perhaps the best looking dude you've seen?

There is something or multiple things keeping you fixated, care to float any our way? We might have some worthy advice between us all


I'll go first if you want, a GF of mine had really large bazookas - the boy in me found that quite an achievement.

Another was just really great to be around in general - the adult found that comforting.

I don't believe that these things are wrong necessarily but they aren't the things to totally base a solid relationship on either - layers and all that.
.

^^ To me it cries out for a classical Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram supplemented with the de-obsessing part. At each Quarter before inscribing the pentagram imagine a life-size effigy of the target, a large paper photo is a good idea. Then on inscribing / stabbing the pentagram watch the image catch fire and wait until it has burned to the ground.

One such treatment probably won't work but after, say, a week, doing this once of a morning and then in the evening before bed, the difference will be felt. Could work on the first day /couple of days.

Only problem is learning the ritual. It may only take 10 minutes but like all rituals it has to be done with great passion. Doesn't need a knife to do the stabbing. Index and 2nd finger pointing will do.
It's beautiful and it's SO protective.

Edit. Just found a traditional one
http://www.kheper.net/topics/Hermeticism/LBR.htm
the diagram referred to is the little one at the top of the page. Start the inscription at the left hand thigh then up to the crown level etc.

If you want to imagine the archangel colours - Raphael (air) is yellow, Michael (fire) is Red, Gabriel (water) is blue and Auriel (earth) can be brown or green or black, all dazzling if you can imagine dazzling black light.

[august2803]

Dear Druidess, I believe that if we do not like or want ourselves we will escape ourselves and avoid alonetime (vipassana course for example) with ourselves. When we are not satisfied in our own company we will not only think we can find happiness somewhere else, and want to "escape", but we will also like people who abandon us/do not choose us because we will think they are right/smart/real, we would not choose ourselves either. If you love yourself you would never think about being with someone who does not love you, you will set your relationship with yourself at top and being true to yourself higher than anyone else. Then you will not need validation or fullfillment from anyone, but you will want to build something with another person who loves u for u, and not one who does not choose you. Why would you want to be with someone who does not want to be with you? That is insane and i hope you see it for what it is. I hope this helps!
- August

[druidess]

Originally Posted by knightoflenity

What's the big pull towards him - is it the night in question, being held?

Was he a catch in your eyes- perhaps the best looking dude you've seen?

There is something or multiple things keeping you fixated, care to float any our way? We might have some worthy advice between us all

Yea, he was very good looking to me and very charismatic. Charming when he wanted to be and driven. I don't come across a lot of men who I'm that attracted to. I guess at the time I never assumed I could get someone like that.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

To me it cries out for a classical Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram supplemented with the de-obsessing part.

Thanks for the suggestion! I've never done an actual ritual before. The most I do is burn sage/smudging. Have you had any personal experience with this/how was it?

Originally Posted by august2803

Dear Druidess, I believe that if we do not like or want ourselves we will escape ourselves and avoid alonetime (vipassana course for example) with ourselves. When we are not satisfied in our own company we will not only think we can find happiness somewhere else, and want to "escape", but we will also like people who abandon us/do not choose us because we will think they are right/smart/real, we would not choose ourselves either...Why would you want to be with someone who does not want to be with you? That is insane and i hope you see it for what it is. I hope this helps!

Thank you for your honesty. I hadn't thought of it that way. I'd like to think I am content with myself but I've probably just led myself into believing that. I have a hard time meeting people and keeping people in my life (but that's another topic) so it relates. Lately, I've been taking a bigger look at my actions so I think you saying that came at the right time. From the beginning I thought he was playing a game with me. I didn't ever believe he was actually interested in me, but I thought I couldn't get someone better. As I mentioned with knightoflenity! Even my friend said to me I "peaked" which now looking back is so unsupportive. We aren't friends anymore.


-
Btw, I truly appreciate all of your comments and support! I've held this in for so long not even wanting to admit what I was thinking or feeling. So it doesn't go unnoticed. You all are great!

I've had cause to do cleansings but I normally use oil in a little burner. Lavender or geranium seem to be good.

There is simpler banishment but not as applicable in your situation, more like if you feel bad energies are invading your home. Even so, it isn't difficult to explain so just in case you ever need it...

1) You need a small burner to burn incense in - a metal ash tray would do but be sure you can hold it without burning your fingers!

You need a charcoal disc (difficult to buy just one but some suppliers give you one with the incense); and of course some exorcising incense. Fortunately there are many recipes and lots of suppliers of ready-mixed incense on the web. They'd probably all do the job.

Firstly put away all clothes and things you might not want contaminated with the smell of this incense.

Work in the lowest light you can.

So you light the charcoal disc, wait for it to be fully alight (watch and you'll see the burning slowly creeping across the disc), put the incense on it. There'll be smoke!

So you go around your room/home, the corners, the windows, the doors and "push" the burner forward while saying something like "Depart you spirit(s). Return in peace to where you're from for I have no quarrel with you." Be passionate about it as best you can.

Once done, (sorry it might pong a bit - I had one based on garlic, coriander and aloes and....oh boy!) leave it for maybe an hour then open the doors.

2) You can do the same with oil in a burner but with the obvious precautions.

There are lots of other ways. This one is easy and involves you actively doing the banishment. Useful to say a little prayer or statement of intent before starting - close your eyes to say something like "I am here now to ask spirits who have no business with me, to depart."

And at the end when you put the burner down, all done, clap your hands together (it's just to show you and the astral that your "rite" has ended) and utter a quiet thank you or "so it is done" or something. Closing any rite is important.

How this could be adapted? As you go around censing and every time you speak the banishment, visualise the person you want rid of zooming away into the background till not even a speck on the horizon, or maybe disintegrating into a cloud of mist and dispersing. May be difficult to visualise at first but keep trying.
It'll take longer but nothing like the time you've had to go through this!


Wretched server - getting this vbulletin message...Tell you this, it needs a 'bullet in' somewhere - just a little one to sting and wake it up!

[Raziel]

Server issues mean that I had to wait to post this comment:

Perhaps when all is said & done you actually scared this man off - but not in the way that you may think.

Perhaps you made him feel vulnerable.

Maybe he felt a connection between you, intimacy, companionship & as a jack the lad/alpha male type he simply didn't have the maturity to handle it.

Instead of stepping into uncharted waters he fled back into the safety of his love em & leave em persona, either to repeat the cycle until he has to compete with younger men or he may begin to take stock of his conquests & wonder where it all leads.

Unless he one day beats down your door with roses in his had you are unlikely to benefit from any revelation that he may have but perhaps you have given him food for thought - somewhere in his mind that he will never be able to shake.

In this situation you were actually the prize - not him.

.

[Urfus]

Druidess,

in my opinion, you have already solved your problem for 50%, because:
- you realize that you have a problem
- you can describe the problem
- you are commited to solving it
you just need to find the root cause and use appropriate technique to clear it.

let's do a short technical analysis what could go wrong and causes the guy to stay in your head:

1) GENERAL UNRESOLVED EMOTIONS
during your short "relationship", you experienced very strong emotion with the guy but you quit the relationship too early before the ongoing emotions managed to settle and become resolved.. this resulted in storing active emotional fragment in your memory that lives its own life and keeps reminding the guy to you until you resolve the emotions..

how to solve it:
take 5 sheets of paper, lock yourself in a room, turn off your cell phone, tell the others not to interrupt you, and start writing about everything that comes to your mind when you think of that guy.. after few minutes you get into trans and you start writing maybe some weird things, but don't stop and carry on until 5 sheets are filled from top to bottom. when you are done, don't read what you have written, just get rid of the paper.. 1x repeat this exercise after a week

2) FATHER PROBLEM
the guy you met reminds you on the subconscious level of your father (fathers are the "first" partners of their daughters) and if this is the case, very strong connection could have been made in your memory records as a result of this errorneous association.

how to solve it:
inspect your current relationship with your father and solve any outstanding issues with him, then write down on a paper the characteristics of your father in the 1st column and characteristics of the guy in the 2nd column - the goal is to clearly persuade your subconscious mind that the guy is no way your father

3) PAST LIFE ISSUE
one of the situations you experienced with the guy might have been similar as the ones you had already experienced in one of your past lives. This could result in opening a active channel to your past life and the past life energy is now leaking into your current life.

how to solve it:
identify underlying past life, research it, have it cleared and close it.. regression therapies are a good techniques to try

4) ENERGETIC OBJECT IN YOUR AURA
you never know but the guy might have implanted an energetic object in your aura which causes you to think about him constantly (maybe he is not to be blamed and didn't do it on purpose)

how to solve it:
common rituals with fire, water, carbon, candles can be used to dissolve the object

5) SURROUNDINGS
maybe there is an object in your surroundings/home/work that reminds you of the guy.

how to solve it:
take some time to analyze the surroundings once more.. if you are not successful, try at least to rearrange objects (recoloring the walls is a good idea) in the places you spend the most of the time, so you get different energy feeling from that place


Druidess - if you feel you need more help with 1) 3) 4) let me know, I can try to help you by doing Spiritual Response Therapy clearing as this technique could bring some positive effects for you.. for free

Urfus

p.s. I apologize for long comment

[ssdm1]

I understand how you're feeling as I'm in the same place - for the 2nd time.

When I was a teen I had a guy in my life who I loved. Circumstances separated us for 20 years - then he came back in my life. At the time I was like you. What I did was to wear a rubber band around my wrist and every time a thought of him came in my mind I snapped the rubber band and said stop. At first it was constant then got less and less until I moved on from him.

Then he came back in my life 20 years later and I'm in the same place again.

We are friends and see each other but he's in a relationship now. I, again, need to get over him and am having a hard time doing so. Seems even more difficult the 2nd time around. I'm trying to remain friends, but we'll see.

Try the rubber band, or at least saying 'stop' to yourself when he pops in your head.