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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Healing

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  #1  
Old 29-05-2018, 09:26 PM
blossomingsoull97 blossomingsoull97 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 68
 
Have you healed from sexual abuse?

Has anyone here healed from sexual abuse? I know this is quite a personal question but i’m working on healing myself from this. Well its been quite difficult, i watched a movie which triggered it and tbh i have been listening to binaural beats to heal my root chakra. So i think this is the reason why all these issues are resurfacing and i have been quite sad. Losing a little hope but at the same time i remind myself to just accept whatever im feeling and i will get out of it. I dont know how long its going to take to heal this. Does anyone have any advice? Personally, i dont want to hear ‘go to a therapist’ no offence please.
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  #2  
Old 29-05-2018, 09:30 PM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Olympia, Washington
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blossomingsoull97
Has anyone here healed from sexual abuse? I know this is quite a personal question but i’m working on healing myself from this. Well its been quite difficult, i watched a movie which triggered it and tbh i have been listening to binaural beats to heal my root chakra. So i think this is the reason why all these issues are resurfacing and i have been quite sad. Losing a little hope but at the same time i remind myself to just accept whatever im feeling and i will get out of it. I dont know how long its going to take to heal this. Does anyone have any advice? Personally, i dont want to hear ‘go to a therapist’ no offence please.

My trauma came from the age of 6 and I was 22 when I first figured it all out. There was not much hope for me to heal when that much time had gone by.

However for people who were traumatized in the 12-16 age range and are seeking healing around the 13+ age range then the chances of healing is much better.

The quicker a person gets into therapy and does a full life turn-around the better their odds of healing are.

Also, there will always be "healing" to be done. As long as a person thinks of their self as wounded, they will find things to heal.

At some point a person has to forget the labels of healing and healed and all that stuff and just go "this is me". There needs to be radical acceptance of everything so they can move on. As long as a person makes distinctions inside their self, saying things like "I do ____ because of the trauma, it's not really me doing those things" they are going to drag their self back into their old wounds and will have difficulty moving on.
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  #3  
Old 29-05-2018, 10:43 PM
LiberatedLotus LiberatedLotus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 211
 
Good advice given.

Definite distinction between identifying with
something & identifying as something.

Shivatar is most certaintly correct, the more
attention you give an experience the more power
it has. " Energy flows where attention goes. "

I might add that it is beneficial to deconstruct
the entire experience so you may get to the
roots & heart of the matter.

A deeper understanding of yourself & others
will emerge if you allow it to.
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  #4  
Old 30-05-2018, 08:40 PM
innerlight innerlight is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blossomingsoull97
Has anyone here healed from sexual abuse? I know this is quite a personal question but i’m working on healing myself from this. Well its been quite difficult, i watched a movie which triggered it and tbh i have been listening to binaural beats to heal my root chakra. So i think this is the reason why all these issues are resurfacing and i have been quite sad. Losing a little hope but at the same time i remind myself to just accept whatever im feeling and i will get out of it. I dont know how long its going to take to heal this. Does anyone have any advice? Personally, i dont want to hear ‘go to a therapist’ no offence please.






Yes, when anyone decides to work on their chakras, clear their aura, do energy healing. Meditate. Anything like this is part of healing. Healing will bring things up to the surface, so it can be dealt with and healed. Hopefully releasing it in the process. And sometimes, yes, seeing a therapist, or even a friend/family member to talk to, can be helpful for dealing with it, and managing it. Healing, can be very rough at times. It's where the term "healing crisis" comes from.



If you can, see a Reiki master, to help during this time. To help soothe the energy/aura, and even someone to confide in and work with. EFT, can also help with healing trauma, that you have gone through in your life. Carrying crystals can also help. They have been instrumental in their healing for myself. Of course they too will bring stuff up from within.



While, I have not been in those shoes of sexual abuse, to help you fully, I can only offer things that have helped myself, and others, in their healing journey.



So, yes, working on your chakras, is going to bring stuff up.
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  #5  
Old 30-05-2018, 09:04 PM
lazydullard lazydullard is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 57
 
I was raped like 12 times when I was four, and I found that recording the events in the highest fidelity possible in a journal helped me heal it the most.

Also, emphasizing with the perpeurtraters has helped, if that's possible in your case.

I no longer remember the events in horrible flashback details. They're just regular memories now. But I only had to heal from one summer. If it went longer than that, the healing would be way harder.
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  #6  
Old 30-05-2018, 09:11 PM
innerlight innerlight is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 7,698
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lazydullard
I was raped like 12 times when I was four, and I found that recording the events in the highest fidelity possible in a journal helped me heal it the most.

Also, emphasizing with the perpeurtraters has helped, if that's possible in your case.

I no longer remember the events in horrible flashback details. They're just regular memories now. But I only had to heal from one summer. If it went longer than that, the healing would be way harder.




Congrats, to you, on healing from such an event, to even be able to talk about it. Not everyone can. That's amazing! Rock on!
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  #7  
Old 30-05-2018, 09:36 PM
shivatar shivatar is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 1,933
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LiberatedLotus
Good advice given.

Definite distinction between identifying with
something & identifying as something.

Shivatar is most certaintly correct, the more
attention you give an experience the more power
it has. " Energy flows where attention goes. "

I might add that it is beneficial to deconstruct
the entire experience so you may get to the
roots & heart of the matter.

A deeper understanding of yourself & others
will emerge if you allow it to.

deconstruct it how?

like examine different angles and motivations for those involved?
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  #8  
Old 05-06-2018, 06:13 PM
Compendium Compendium is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 374
 
I was abused as a child from my earliest memories till 18yrs old. I was physically, emotionally, and sexually abused. I was able to deal with everything except the sexual abuse. What made it even more difficult to deal with was I wasnt just molested by one person I was molested by several different men and I was the common denominator in all the situations so it must have been my fault. Forgiving myself and recognizing it wasnt my fault was the hardest thing to deal with. Then a couple weeks ago I woke up and realized I had forgiven myself that some where on a subconcious level I had worked it all out and I was okay. Work on forgiving yourself, understand you did nothing wrong. I know we all intellectually know it isnt our fault when these things happen to us, but it has been my experiance that even though I knew that intellectually, emotionally I had not felt this way. It is important to be honest with how you feel about it in the areas of self blame. You have to emotionally accept it is not your fault. This has been my experiance so all of this is how I healed. If you need to talk you can message me sweety.

Namaste`
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  #9  
Old 14-06-2018, 12:49 PM
Heather Aine Heather Aine is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 10
 
Wishing you Love & Peace

I was sexually, physically, and verbally abused by several different people from early childhood through teen years, and my mother was in and out of my life during that time (mostly out). I was incredibly lucky to have had a few things happen to me that really changed the direction in my life.

I was 16 when my mom left for the final time; I walked through the door of the apartment I shared with her and it was completely empty, no note, no advance warning, nothing. I lived with some neighbors for a while before my Dad reluctantly took me in (he had since remarried and his wife didn't want me there as she already had two kids of her own). One day, I guess I was silently crying in class, so my teacher sent me to a counselor.

After I told her everything that had happened, she wordlessly got up and went over to a bookcase. She picked out a giant book and placed it on my lap. Then she went back and picked out another one and set it on top of that one. She continued until I had a huge stack of textbooks on my lap. Inside, I was furious, thinking I went there for help and all I was getting was more homework! She sat back down behind her desk and I endured an awkward moment of silence while I vowed to myself that she could suck it, I was not doing any more homework. Finally, she said quietly, "It's heavy isn't it?" and I nodded angrily. "That's the burden of your pain," she said, "everything that has happened has piled up in your heart to the point of feeling unbearably difficult, but you don't need to carry it around. It's in the past, and it happened, but you don't need to carry it into the future. Let it go. Stand up and let it go, let it drop." I was reluctant to do so and damage the books, so this time she practically yelled, "STAND UP AND LET IT GO!" As I finally did so, it felt like a great weight was released from me both physically and emotionally, and that day was a turning point.

In college, I began having flashbacks, so I went to a therapist who was planning on doing a childhood regression. It went sideways; I went into another life completely, which at the time I didn't even know was possible, I didn't know about reincarnation or maybe I didn't really believe in it if anyone ever mentioned it. I spoke differently, I was married, I lived in a cottage with a dirt floor, and I witnessed myself being murdered by a drunk husband. At the end of the regression, I had two major things to process: the continuity of life and the realization that I had more emotional trauma locked in my body than I had previously realized. The effect of that experience was that I no longer feared death because I had just re-lived death itself and here I was alive again. It was incredibly liberating and was another major turning point on a spiritual level. It also helped me to realize that sometimes when I was sad "for no reason", it may be because emotional wounds from past lives were ready to be healed.

At some point, after therapy, reading as much as I could, minoring in psychology in college and continuing to learn afterwards, I made the mistake of thinking I was "cured", I was "healed", and I sat back spiritually, without vigilance or continued effort, and in my 30's I wound up in the same codependent relationships I had endured from my childhood. What I learned from that experience is that we should never think there is an end goal when we can just stop healing and prop our feet up on the desk thinking we are finished. Things bubble up from the murky depths of the soul as they are ready to be released and transmuted; what does seem to change over time is the magnitude of the pain - it lessens and lessens as we plow through and clear the worst of the trauma, the lesser wounds then begin to present themselves for healing. Sometimes, we have to go back and do more work to heal a major wound, because some are so great, they must be healed and released in phases.

I have been blessed - as are we all - to have had Spirit send me just what I needed at just the time I needed it, whether it was an invitation to a group psychic reading (which I viewed warily at the time but turned out be another powerful turning point), a friend calling me out of the blue just when I was at my lowest, a fortuitous book or idea given to me by a stranger at just the right time, etc. We are loved and precious. We are not the sum total of our earthly experiences, we are far greater, we are part of something far greater, and for me, there is comfort in that knowing.

These were the two most important books in my life, though there have been many wonderful books that helped:

The Greatest Salesman in the World, by Og Mandino; our inner monologue is all too often a nasty, vituperative place, especially for children of abuse. We are our own worst critics because we seem to inherently blame ourselves for being abused. This book taught me to have a beautiful inner monologue with myself instead of a critical, mean-spirited, judgmental inner monologue, and it gave me such a deep-rooted feeling of inner peace that I still go back and re-do the "scrolls" if I'm really feeling down. I will keep this book with me for the rest of my life, it's that beautiful.

The Empowerment Dynamic: The Power of TED, by David Emerald; this was the most important message of clarity about what abuse really is and how we transmute the concept of victimhood into the concept of empowerment. There are links to descriptive pdfs and websites (I'm not allowed to post links I guess), but the book is incredibly helpful in explaining that nothing happens "to" us, all things happen "with" or "around" us, and our lives move through these events like a plane moves through turbulence. In conjunction with a book like Sacred Contracts by Caroline Myss, which delves into the spiritual side of empowerment - these two books together can give a one-two punch to the old paradigm of victimhood that can literally change your past. I say change your past, because; when the past is "in the past" and nothing can be done about it, all that remains is our memory of the past, and it is the memory that we continue to relive and replay going into the future. The things we tell ourselves, the things we believe while that story keeps replaying in our minds - that becomes "the past", and so the way we change "the past" is to tell a new story, one that builds up our soul instead of tearing it down.

Tapping was extremely beneficial, and so were the therapists that I was blessed to find, even if it was just for one session. Going to an Al-Anon support group was another profoundly impactful experience: walking into a room of strangers that blessed me with complete love and acceptance, and understanding.

Wishing you love, peace, comfort, acceptance, and healing.
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  #10  
Old 30-06-2018, 05:56 PM
linen53 linen53 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 14,332
 
Well you have been here since posting this so I hope you will stop by and read this. Yes, you can heal from sexual abuse.

First off I now know I actually planned my childhood before I incarnated (I have actual memories of it). So that pretty much put the focus on me rather than my abusers.

But when it was time to start healing when I was in my mid 30's I just couldn't forgive those who had so terribly harmed me. It just didn't make sense. It would be like abandoning the child within me rather than protecting her.

So I started by forgiving myself. I forgave myself for not finding help (there wasn't any around, but still....), I forgave my arms and legs for not running away from them fast enough or fighting them off successfully, I forgave myself for attracting these people to myself, for surely, I thought back then I must be exhibiting some kind of behavior to attract the abuse, and I forgave myself for forgetting all that happened until I was in my mid 30's (selective amnesia).

I would literally wrap my arms around myself and 'hug' myself. I would comfort the part inside of me that was so harmed as a child. I became her protective 'mother'.

This taught me to love myself and accept myself. When I did that I became centered. Grounded.

From there it was easy to let go of all the memories and the people who had harmed me. And yes to forgive.

These steps are something only you can do. No one can help you. Not a friend, or a spouse or significant other, and definitely not a therapist. You have to go through the steps yourself.

PM me anytime if you wish.

I have more to say about suicide but I'll add that later.
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