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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #11  
Old 11-05-2020, 05:56 PM
Lucky Lucky is offline
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Lynn, I know the feelings you describe. The whole empath-narcissist dynamic fascinates me, especially because the lessons and growth that come out of these relationships seem to be one-sided...meaning the empath is the one to learn the hard lessons while the narcissist walks away seemingly unscathed. It blows my mind to see how the narcissist is unaffected and will quickly move to a new source of energy to feed from. The empath in me wants to know things like, “what happened to you that made you so cold? What trauma did you experience that made you create such a tough exterior? Why do you wear so many masks and why are you so afraid to be your true self? Do you even have a true self? Are you heartless?”. These are questions I have for the narcissist. As an empath, and also just being who I am, I am intrigued by the inner workings of people.

I try my best to be the light for those who may need it, to hold space for them when no one else has...because I know what it feels like not to be heard and understood. I feel that when I open myself up to someone, open my heart and be my authentic self that it’s giving those in my company the opportunity to do the same. I suppose with the narcissist, there just is no getting through to them. This makes me sad. I suppose that’s the reason I stayed longer than I should have, because I had hope that I’d be able to break through that tough exterior. Silly me for always seeing the good in people, despite the mask they wear. But the narcissist...I question if it is a mask or if they simply lack any ounce of purity in their souls.

I struggle to find the positive outcome after all is said and done. Sure, I’ve grown and learned some hard lessons thanks to that experience. I’m stronger now. I’ve learned about boundaries. I had the satisfaction of having the last word. But with that, I have hardened my heart to the point where I cannot fully process those years and all I put up with. The pain and sadness is still buried deep within and it has ugly roots that run deeper than my consciousness can access. It’s incredible that after all the time that has since passed, that just the sight of his name popping up on my screen can instantly make my stomach drop. That was a trauma response. And it bothers me to know I still carry that.
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  #12  
Old 11-05-2020, 06:51 PM
asearcher
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Hi, way I look at a narcissist is that they are born this way, like a brain damage of some sort, only "invisible", they can learn nothing, one only has to learn the abuse and if possible keep them at a comfortable distance. One thing to practice is soul distancing. Narcissist is not worth the useless energy to try to make sense into this. They simply do not have the ability to be any different. I have seen this disorder in other people but they have a different diagnose, they too lack empathy. It is to me one of the most scary thing to see in a human - the lack of empathy. Then you know there is something really wrong...I just think their soul signed up for this, knowing the limitation but we won't really see their inner soul beauty until if meeting them in the afterlife.
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  #13  
Old 11-05-2020, 08:14 PM
Lucky Lucky is offline
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asearcher, you’re right...I guess it really is that clear cut. Your last sentence however, brings me back to these frequent “dreams” I have of him where he is nothing at all like the person he is in this reality, instead he is nice, caring and I enjoy his company in my dreams...which leads me to question if I’m seeing his “inner soul beauty” as you put it?
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  #14  
Old 11-05-2020, 08:28 PM
Pequena Estrela Pequena Estrela is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky
Thanks for your comments.
Pequena Estrela, I’m glad I’m not the only one! I’m finding out a person doesn’t have to be dead in order to haunt. I’ve heard of entity attachments but it’s crazy to think it can occur with someone living. It’s like they can manipulate in the astral plane when we are in a dream state. I, too, have had very detailed and vivid dreams of this person as if it’s real. I wonder how this all works...are they consciously intruding and purposely invading our dreams? I’ve always thought that dreams were personal to the dreamer, a way of working things out in our subconscious...but I’ve had too many dreams that prove something else is happening, whether it’s someone deceased visiting me, a telepathic connection to members of my soul group, and what feels like real interaction with my ex. These are more than just dreams.


Lucky - yes I do believe they are invading our dreams on purpose, and I can show why: in the early days of me coming across this guy, he once asked me if I dream about him already!

Notice: ALREADY!!!

Who asks such a thing??? I mean, he wasn't a boyfriend or anything, so why would he ask such a thing???

And what's with the "already"? As if he was doing something and wanted to know if it was working yet...

Yes there is more to dreams, departed loved ones often appear in my dreams, and accompany me for a bit whilst I'm in the spirit/astral realm. This is lovely and such dreams also feel far more real than "mere" dreams.

I also often have prophetic dreams, and the accuracy I have seen in such dreams when compared to what later happened in real life is amazing.

And it's not just that. Some time ago I came across this story of a girl who had left her abusive ex, moved away, and was living in this high up apartment. One night he appeared to her and stood at the end of her bed watching her. She suffered sleep paralysis (which only occurs if evil entities are present!) and when she finally could move again, she realized that he could not possibly have gotten into her apartment because the apartment was high up, the only way in was the door - which was locked.

The man was still alive, so she thought it couldn't have been his ghost, so she was of course wondering what happened there.

This story went round on Youtube for a while some years ago, and people were saying that abusive people, being evil, can and do indeed appear in spirit form to their victims even though they are still alive!

So yes, you are right, a person doesn't have to be dead to haunt. I have by the way experienced similar things with abusive people and I can assure you they were in my room in spirit form - even though they were still alive.

Now, my dreams - or, rather more, experiences since they are more than mere dreams - with this person are getting a lot more frequent recently. It's also concerning that they also seem to be sequential - at first it was him touching me and me being in distress about it, then it was him visiting me or me visiting him in our respective homes, then many many chase dreams where I'm just running and running and he is chasing me, and I can clearly see this obsessed expression in his face. He doesn't want to harm me but own me.

And now this has moved on to him having expressed his undying love (in the dreams that is) and me having finally given in, fallen in love with him too and us hugging and always holding each other, going to places together and holding hands like any other young couple in love.

I have even had this very realistic dream of us getting married - some time ago in fact, and it felt way too real to have been a mere dream. We were getting married in this church and I was wearing this white bridal gown and I seemed to float through the church as if I were a spirit myself. People were saying "you are so light (as in, light in weight), you are really floating" and I could feel myself floating, and then we were married and I was so happy.

I have never dreamed that frequently, intensely or with so many emotions about anyone! And never have any dreams about any living person felt so real!

I haven't heard from the guy in real life but it's interesting that your ex took ten years to put in an appearance again - so I wonder, do they chase us through the spirit realm (which we perceive as dreams) in order to condition us, to prepare us for when they do contact us again? Do they do this to ensure we will fall for them, accept them in our lives (or back in our lives) - and if so, why?


The guy in my case never admitted openly that he wanted a relationship but he made it very clear that this was what he wanted with things that he said and did. Why though didn't he just ask me to be his girlfriend - I could have said yes or no, and he would have known where he stands and end of the matter?

Another interesting fact is that the guy in my case was very active with astral travel and such things. Indeed I have for a long time felt as if he was watching me all the time - it could of course be just me feeling that way, but: why would I, considering until these dreams started to get so frequent, I never consciously thought of him during waking hours?

That's something to ponder about too...
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  #15  
Old 11-05-2020, 09:01 PM
Pequena Estrela Pequena Estrela is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky
Lynn, I know the feelings you describe. The whole empath-narcissist dynamic fascinates me, especially because the lessons and growth that come out of these relationships seem to be one-sided...meaning the empath is the one to learn the hard lessons while the narcissist walks away seemingly unscathed. It blows my mind to see how the narcissist is unaffected and will quickly move to a new source of energy to feed from. The empath in me wants to know things like, “what happened to you that made you so cold? What trauma did you experience that made you create such a tough exterior? Why do you wear so many masks and why are you so afraid to be your true self? Do you even have a true self? Are you heartless?”. These are questions I have for the narcissist. As an empath, and also just being who I am, I am intrigued by the inner workings of people.

I try my best to be the light for those who may need it, to hold space for them when no one else has...because I know what it feels like not to be heard and understood. I feel that when I open myself up to someone, open my heart and be my authentic self that it’s giving those in my company the opportunity to do the same. I suppose with the narcissist, there just is no getting through to them. This makes me sad. I suppose that’s the reason I stayed longer than I should have, because I had hope that I’d be able to break through that tough exterior. Silly me for always seeing the good in people, despite the mask they wear. But the narcissist...I question if it is a mask or if they simply lack any ounce of purity in their souls.

I struggle to find the positive outcome after all is said and done. Sure, I’ve grown and learned some hard lessons thanks to that experience. I’m stronger now. I’ve learned about boundaries. I had the satisfaction of having the last word. But with that, I have hardened my heart to the point where I cannot fully process those years and all I put up with. The pain and sadness is still buried deep within and it has ugly roots that run deeper than my consciousness can access. It’s incredible that after all the time that has since passed, that just the sight of his name popping up on my screen can instantly make my stomach drop. That was a trauma response. And it bothers me to know I still carry that.


I have done a lot of research about narcissists, because I have encountered so many during my life.

One thing I can assure you of: they did not become the way they did through trauma.

I know so many people (and I'm one of them) who have gone through a lifetime of trauma and yet are empaths.

Not one of the narcissists I have encountered has ever suffered the slightest bit of trauma.

And that's not all, there is also another very significant fact: narcissists are what the Bible called the fallen angels, the wicked, demons. They are what the Quran calls the Jinn (jinn is plural by the way, jinni is the singular), they are what others might call possessed.

To end up with that level of evil is a choice. It's a choice they made, consciously, not through trauma or any other event. And it's not just the lack of empathy that makes them evil, it's something even more horrifying: they enjoy their victims' suffering!

Yes they enjoy it, it's pleasure to them, the more suffering and pain they can cause the more pleasure they derive from it.

This is very contrary to normal people or empaths, who want to ease the pain and suffering of others.

Narcissism is a spiritual concept, it gets officially portrayed as a personality disorder but it has nothing to do with that. Because an insane person doesn't know what he or she is doing. A narcissist does - the carefully drawn up plans made by narcissists for the ultimate destruction of their victims prove that.

I could cite many many examples of narcissists who have spent years, decades even, planning and scheming my downfall, manipulating others, using the legal system to harm me. These are not the actions of insane people! These are the actions of very very cunning and calculating people who know exactly what they are doing.

The questions you would like to ask the narcissist will never get answered by a narcissist. That's because they never tell the truth. Narcissists are known as the people of the lie, because every word from them is a lie. They twist and turn the truth, tell outright lies, or use bits of the truth and add a lot of lies to manipulate people around them into believing that they speak the truth.

These things are not human. They are something else, from another dimension, another realm. They copy humans to appear as humans. They watch humans to learn how to feign affection, to manipulate everyone around them.

Unfortunately they are also immune to karma. They seem to be protected by some evil power because nothing ever comes back on them. Some of the narcissists I have come across are in very advanced age now - nothing has ever come back on them. Most survivors of narcissistic abuse will tell you the same. Why this is, why they are so immune to karma is something I would love to know!

But I trust that one day there will be justice, and that's what keeps me going.
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  #16  
Old 11-05-2020, 09:50 PM
Lucky Lucky is offline
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Wow, thanks for sharing your experiences. It sounds to me like this guy knows exactly what he’s doing to you and does so with intention, being that he is no stranger to astral travel. But as you said, why not just ask you to be his girlfriend in real life? My suspicions are that when we are sleeping or in dream state we are less inhibited, we ourselves travel, and our guard is down enough to allow for communication with deceased loved ones as well as having clearer access to our intuition allowing for “prophetic” dreams. Maybe our dream intruders are well aware of this and use it as an opportunity to have us whichever way they want, being that real life interactions would bring obstacles and challenges.

In my case, this guy was not into any of this astral travel or spiritual stuff...not consciously at least. But his presence demanded attention, like the kind that would make you stop in your tracks. I have no doubt he would use that same power to get what he wants in another dimension.

Actually, something does stick out to me that I remember very clearly when we dated...he was a great artist and was showing me his portfolio from art class in high school. He showed me a picture he drew of a demon and said that is what he sees in his dreams. That creeped me out.

To comment on your theory as to whether or not they are chasing us in dreams in order to condition us for a future encounter, I think it’s a possibility.

What’s creepy is that maybe 5 years after we split, I got married and he reached out to me just a week after that saying he “had a feeling I got married “ and so he looked me up on Facebook, saw my profile picture and found he was right. He said he was happy that I looked so happy and it’s something he couldn’t make me. Sounded sincere. But seriously, 5 years later he reaches out again confessing his undying love? How am I still on his radar after 10 years?
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  #17  
Old 11-05-2020, 11:02 PM
Pequena Estrela Pequena Estrela is offline
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Lucky - the spooky thing is also, the guy in my case was big on dreams, honest, if it wasn't astral travel it was dreams and if it wasn't dreams it was astral travel! You are right, he does know what he is doing and does so with intention!

That example you cited with the demon your ex drew - oh gosh, the guy in my case also often told me about demons he saw in dreams, he actually seemed to conjure them up! He believed he could control them or work with them - so spooky, who says something like that!

Yes that's possible that these guys intrude into our dreams and then can have us any way they want. Strange though that, when I had given in and accepted his love - in the most recent dream - I seemed to be madly in love with him, and how can he make me have such an emotion when it's not my choice to have this emotion?

That's disgusting that your ex contacted you just a week after you got married! Could he have known though about your marriage via facebook? Bit suspicious that he claims he "could sense it". Narcissists are well known to watch their exes, especially online. They read everything their exes post online, they look up their exes' friends. They never stop having this obsession with their exes, and if the ex forgets them, recovers from the abuse, and maybe finds a new relationship - then they go berserk and start hoovering, ie contacting the ex, either directly or indirectly, with the intention to suck the ex back into a relationship of some kind with them!

To have this obsession for 10 years sounds crazy to us - but that's what narcissists do, I've heard of cases of some narcissist ex turning up after 20 years, and there are many stories online where this happened after an even longer time!

That's a good question, why does the guy in my case not just ask me to be his girlfriend. I suppose his cover would be blown if he did that because he lied about his entire backstory, and he couldn't keep that from me for long if I was his girlfriend. I also think he feared rejection, he saw me as this exotic bird and he thought he wouldn't stand a chance with me. So, like all narcissists, he projected (projection means accusing the victim of what is true of the narcissist, projection is always a confession) and claimed I wasn't good enough and that his ex was so much better and whatnot. Yeah yeah, if the ex was so much better why is she the ex... he claimed she cheated on him but I don't believe she exists, he has often tried to make me jealous to see how I would react. I have a feeling he wanted me to beg him to be my boyfriend, which I never did, and he didn't like that very much.

In all this mess, indeed, why not just ask me to be his girlfriend? Get the cards out in the open and that's it? Ah, now that would be too logical, too much common sense! LOL!
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