Male verses female spirituality

Originally Posted by BigJohn

In past lives, I have loaned to people money which they did not have to pay back in that life time.

In this lifetime, I haven't been loaning out money like that.


So am I less spiritual?

You should see if you can track those people down in this lifetime and tell them it is time to pay up.

BTW: You still owe me that $100 from two lifetimes ago, ya deadbeat!

Originally Posted by asearcher

Hi, in my small world of family friends co-workers I have noticed that a lot of the close relationships I have with females that they are more spiritual than the men are. I have noticed few to be in my soul group that is we have been together in past lives so perhaps this is why we are both in a similar place spiritually, this with the females. Only I have noticed that the few men (from one exception) I have too recognized as soul mates from past lives are not and they ought to have been around as long as the female has. Could it be something in the brain that is preventing the spirituality to kick off for the males in my surrounding? There is also a female that I have recognized to have been a male in a past life and she is less spiritual than another female that I too have recognized in a past life but then as female then too and she is more spiritual. The only exception for me is one male that was very spiritual in my past life and is this way in this life too.

I hope no body get upset with me for posting this, maybe it is just a coincidence in my life with the male verses female spirituality. I am only curious...

No doubt there are some hardwired difference between the sexes. Most species that utilize sexual reproduction tend to have instinctual roles that differ between the two. However, I think there is often a strong cultural component at play as well, and it can be hard to tell which is nature and which is nurture. Sometimes the cultural components tend to develop due to, and in reinforcement of the genetic influences so it is hard to know what to call them.

In the west, society has certain expectations of men that tend to push them away from things that involve feelings and that may filter over into their apprehension toward spirituality. However, once that is put aside, they don't seem to have any innate deficiency in the ability to appreciate spiritual aspects. Many men will also repress their feelings as they have been taught that it is unmanly, but once that is put aside, even if they don't show it as openly, I expect men tend to feel things much more strongly then society believes, or they themselves will let on.

Years ago, in the US, cooking was seen as the women's role in the family and men might be apprehensive about taking that role on as they may have feared appearing feminine. Paradoxically, it was assumed that men made the best chefs, and poor Julia Child had to struggle to be taken seriously. Kind of crazy how these cultural norms put pressures on us from without that we end up accepting and using to put pressures on ourselves from within.

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

...Herein lies the problem: where women have a collective wound to stand in their own power, to dare be themselves, voice their opinion and so on located in the belly. Men's collective wound is the heart.
The result is that there are fewer men who are able to get to their heartspace and develop intuitive skills. You're beginning to see it a bit more, but it'll take time...

I had never heard that before. Really gave me something to think about - Thank you.

Originally Posted by Altair

Much of this is simply hardwired into us, with mammalian females developing close bonds with offspring and males guarding and exploring territory. In humans this returns in society and daily life with females showing more interest in relationships and people whereas males show more interest in non-personal things, 'stuff', and exploration. Of course, YMMV but it is generally true.

I see that echoed several times, about the differences between the sexes (and genders), and generally I agree BUT the differences IMO are complex enough that the 'obvious' differences quite often do NOT apply. The universe loves diversity - that's why there's so much of it. There have been very successful woman mathematicians and male cooks - they may do things differently than their counterparts but still excel at what they do.

My takeaway here is NOT that each sex is only good for certain things, but that individuality matters, talent matters, accomplishment matters. Yes, GENERALLY there are differences that also apply and also matter - but in the end it is the belief in the stereotypical that is in error.

There is no substitute for opening one's eyes and seeing.

[Altair]

Originally Posted by Kioma

There is no substitute for opening one's eyes and seeing.

Concerning your examples... everyone can think of examples that don’t fit the general observations. Like I said, YMMV.

Some stereotypes are just rubbish though and more forced upon people. The trope of the highly competitive, aggressive man is one such. It's always only been a minority of men who were and are like that. Throughout much of history people accepted what they had and there was no need for large surplus. The community as a whole worked in sync. The association of men with the competitiveness we know of today is a modern fantasy, and ideological. Throughout much of history the vast majority of men had no need for “ambition” and being highly competitive. Do we ever pause and realize just how much capitalism has clouded our sense of whom we are?

From what I understand,male brains are biologically slightly different to female brains.
To get onto the subject of gender and metaphysics,I am a gay man.Before I was born,I had the choice to be male or female,I remember.I couldn't decide,so I was incarnated with a male body and a female brain.In other words,gay.lol.

Originally Posted by Altair

Concerning your examples... everyone can think of examples that don’t fit the general observations. Like I said, YMMV.

Some stereotypes are just rubbish though and more forced upon people. The trope of the highly competitive, aggressive man is one such. It's always only been a minority of men who were and are like that. Throughout much of history people accepted what they had and there was no need for large surplus. The community as a whole worked in sync. The association of men with the competitiveness we know of today is a modern fantasy, and ideological. Throughout much of history the vast majority of men had no need for “ambition” and being highly competitive. Do we ever pause and realize just how much capitalism has clouded our sense of whom we are?

Agree completely. Not sure how you thought otherwise.

Originally Posted by asearcher

Could it be something in the brain that is preventing the spirituality to kick off for the males in my surrounding?

Probably. Females have marked hormone cycles (menses, pregnancy, menopause etc) that are fairly complex compared with anything males have so through various bodily feedback loops that act on the hypothalamus, this part of the brain works differently. The hypothalamus works with the pituitary gland to control hormones - endocrine system - but they reach deeply into other parts of the brain.

But there's also the aspect of upbringing. It isn't without exception obviously but at puberty, girls can continue to depend on the nurturing aspect of a mother. It is to the mother they turn for advice when changes occur in their bodies, menses, mammary development, then pregnancy, parturition and so on; while men cannot. They might try but a) a mother has no experience of pubic changes in a male, so b) boys have to rely on a father and there's usually a mixed emotion about that, partly because the father has probably been socially conditioned to bury emotions and things spiritual "that males (by nature) aren't conventionally allowed to show." Most males are at second remove from their emotions. They have to hide them. (As I say, not all but it does seem the case with many.)
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[zastrakoza]

Originally Posted by Moon321

I find your questions interesting. I have 2 ideas that I will try to formulate into a response. One is a cultural viewpoint and another is about our own personal cognitive framework. I will start with the cognitive framework.

I have noticed that I contain my own biases and preconceived notions about people based on gender. I tend to make assumptions about people based on what I perceive their gender to be. This often comes into play in subtle ways that we don't notice in our everyday interactions. This is a natural thing and is easily observed. For example watch men interact with men, and than watch them interact with women. Men tend to give other men more space, but when talking to women, men tend to stand closer, touch them more, interrupt them more, and dismiss their ideas more readily. Even some of the nicest of guys tend to overlap into women's space, often without noticing it. Because I tend to be aware of such things, I try to observe how this plays out in my life. How it is that I choose words when I speak with men and woman. Do I choose “lesser” words when talking with men (such as "perhaps it could be" ) to make room for "the man" but more stronger words around females (“it is like this because”) because I feel I can take more space around a female? What I find interesting about this approach is that when I work with spiritual things, I find that my cognitive biases sometimes "interpret" information based on the models of reality that my brains holds about gender. Say I perceive a spirit as having softer traits than another, I "receive information" that it is a female. Is that true or am I "receiving" that information because it matches my biases? Here you talk about soul groups and past lives. I believe that doing these types of readings for yourself, and interpretations, can be wonderful tools, but in the process that one may be best served to realize their own unconscious ideologies about gender in the process that may murk the waters abit when it comes to interpretation.

Secondly, I have thought about your point in relation to females tending to be more spiritual, recently in my life as well. I don’t know where you live, but in Western society, I have noticed this. It seems , for example, that so many females in Western society are looking for an alternative spirituality than the oppressive, patriarchal Christianity one that was given to them culturally. It seems that in this search there is a “new market” for Eastern religions, and thus for marketing to those who are interested in such things but also live in a materialistic society. Now things are sold in droves such as yoga supplies, lotus flower and Budda figurines, etc. This is not a bad thing, but I think that much of the online information, many of the books sold, many of the material items sold, are not necessarily from an authentic base that is true to the spiritual base practice as it is being produced, and then reproduced off of that copy, and than a reproduction is made from that cop, often for money, to sell more books, to sell more items. I think some of the truth of the foundations of the practice gets lost as practices are merged into an individualistic society as well, when the spiritual tradition was not made in that type of society. What does this have to do with gender? Well what I am getting at is that females, who are searching for spirituality in Western culture, are finding peace and answers in cultures other than there own (and this can be a great thing, for why go for a patriarchal religion that has a history of oppressing one’s gender and thus sense of self?). In the quest for this search you see many females (and some men), leaning heavily on incorporating many Eastern religions into their Western lives. I have often stopped to ponder “why females”, like you have. But than I realize that this is again a cognitive filter that I see the world through my perceptions. In this case I am not convinced that just because I see females around me engaging in spirituality and males not doing so, means that is necessarily true. It is not necessarily always true that men are logical and rational and females are softer, more emotional, and more spiritual. When I broaden my scope throughout human history, or even current human life in other cultures, I see that it is not just females. When I look at religious and spiritual practices from other cultures I see mainly males, in fact. The yogis, the sages, the gurus, the monks, those that teach authentic practices from Buddhism….. to my view they seem predominately male. When I look to Chinese culture, with Kung Fu and other meditative practices, once again I see mostly males teaching things like restraint, mind-body connection. It seems to me that the “females are more spiritual” theme is more of a Western idea. When I look to the East, I see mostly men are involved in “enlightened” spiritual practices that teach things like nonresistance, mindfulness, yoga, compassion for self, body, and others. I think the idea of females being more spiritual is at times a Western thing, and I think that may in part boil down to the way men are raised here. Men are raised to be “logical” and not be in touch with this side of themselves, often rejected when they display other traits. It may be something like a soul that is coming to Earth is looking for a culture and family that will help them learn the lessons that are for them, so the more spiritual males may not be born in the West as often because the West does not encourage such traits in males, so such males are perhaps choosing more accepting cultures for that type of lesson, in some cases. But that doesn’t mean that the majority of males across human history, or even nowadays in all cultures are less spiritual than females.
Of course with all things, there are expectations. Some women are highly logical and cut off emotionally and many men are spiritually and emotionally in tuned, in all cultures.

Hi Moon, thanks for your thoughtful comments. I would like to add that all of us have masculine and feminine energies, and when balanced we enjoy the complement. Those who identify strongly with gender may get out of balance more easily.

[Starman]

asearcher, Generally speaking females are more open and receptive then men. Very basically every human being has both male and female energy but in most only one is expressed more prominently. Nonetheless, there are men who are very feminine and women who are very masculine.

Generally women are freer with their emotions than men. Throughout history young males have been taught to hold in their emotions, be logical, and act like a man. Men were not suppose to cry, until recently, nor did men hug other men, rather they would give another man a pat on the back. This is still true in Saudi Arabia and some other cultures.

Spirituality to me is not a belief, rather it is an experience that a belief is applied to. Both men and women have spiritual experiences but they do not express those experiences in the same way.

I find it interesting that most religions, and spiritual practices, are lead by men and often females are not allowed to be priests or spiritual leaders, i.e. Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Moses, Mohammad, etc. Where are the female spiritual leaders? This is the result of a patriarchal dominated world. It is also interesting that most who believe in God see God as a man.

Spiritual development involves embracing the male and female characteristics that we all have. Geneticists have discovered that all human embryos start life as females, as do all embryos of mammals. Thus males have been often said to be a mutation of the female embryo. I see this as speculation.

[Altair]

Originally Posted by Starman

asearcher, Generally speaking females are more open and receptive then men. Very basically every human being has both male and female energy but in most only one is expressed more prominently. Nonetheless, there are men who are very feminine and women who are very masculine.

Generally women are freer with their emotions than men. Throughout history young males have been taught to hold in their emotions, be logical, and act like a man. Men were not suppose to cry, until recently, nor did men hug other men, rather they would give another man a pat on the back. This is still true in Saudi Arabia and some other cultures.

It’s not all down to culture. Men having more testosterone literally makes them less likely to cry. This is why boys find it easier to cry and many men, even when very sad, still don’t easily cry. Even transgender men observe the difference when they are on hormones. Yeah, some men cry easier than other men and it doesn’t make those that do “more open” but just different from the norm. Same with hugging like women do.

I don’t believe we should assume that men who cry more and are more touchy feely are more “open” or “more spiritual” for being so. Some of us are more stoic naturally, and less expressive, others more.

I find there to be a lot of sexism going on in this thread. A number of posters are basically saying men that aren’t overly emotional are somehow failed human beings and it also sounds as if they are “incomplete women”, which is ludicrous!

All people are fine when it comes to this topic... sensitive women, tough women, sensitive men, tough stoic men. It does not matter!