Becoming a fearless awake woman in the world

[Jack of Spades]

Originally Posted by bluebird21

This is a really good suggestion. I have been thinking the past month about getting all my records from the hospital but am afraid it will just lead me down a dark hole of more anger. Have also considered suing them, as I have had symptoms of PTSD since this experience and there was NO basis for them to give me medication and keep me against my will besides all my mother's concerns. It was a nightmare come to life and the more clarity I have, the more infuriated I am.

I will speak with a lawyer and empower myself so that this can not happen again.

Speaking with a lawyer is very likely the best call. A lawyer can also advice you about what to do with the records etc.

It's not a surprise you have PTSD symptoms. Regardless of the justification, on emotional level, it sounds like your experience is pretty close to that of being kidnapped. That must be a horrible thing to go through...

I'm a mystic myself, and I have all sorts of experiences which would probably get me labeled nuts in some peoples books. I have made an effort to learn to talk about them in a neutral, academic-sounding way (for lack of better word) when talking to an outsider. Like for example, for a fellow mystic I can say "God speaks to me" but for someone unfamiliar with mysticism I would say "I practice spiritual stuff". I've noticed that expressing myself that way makes people less likely to think out of my mind. Even if I say the exact same thing, just in a different way.

Not that I always care about it, but sometimes it's handy to know how to speak about spirituality and experience in a more neutral way. But I want to emphasize that poor self-expression is not an excuse to burn anyone at stake, but it's something to work on in a long run.

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

I mentioned that before and those laws only relate to Australia, but I am sure different countries will have similar laws regarding this.

Similar yes, but when it comes to legal stuff, the devil is in the details, there might be some loopholes and details that don't exist somewhere else. There might be also additional laws that are somehow related to the situation. The law is also not just about the written law, but also about the way the courts have been interpreting the law in the past, setting precedents, which can vary in different cultures even with very similar laws.

I'm just trying to say that when dealing with legal issues, it's crucial to consult a lawyer with expertise on the topic at a hand! I guess we can all agree on that!

[bluebird21]

Originally Posted by Deepsoul

Bluebird ,,You are in Kundalini right ,,well Yes its full on here too ,,i also have cfs ,,its challenging ,, i find it super difficult to find the authentic self ,,but believe now she is one that has love as her priority ,, i absolutely must be more feminine in my approach to all matters ,,meaning ,,a soft love ,, my wild woman has been laid to rest to a degree ,,but only because she had much dysfunction,, everything i try seems to only work for small amounts of it ,as i stumble ,,fall,,and try again ,,,but this deep soft ,,compassionate love im developing is the best so far ,,, kundalini def leaves you feeling like sushi and there has to be constant grounding ,,i doubt the masculine in me will return that much,, much as i love my hubby ,,his dysfunctional behaviour eventually drove me crazy ,i also had many issues, thing is none of that matters ,we are both learning to love more ,,i used to be a hottie lol ,,now i am well ,,lets say compromised ,,cant walk much ,,put on weight etc ,,none of this matters ,what matters is Love ,,love of self ,,love of God ,,whatever that means to the individual ,,and love of others ,,we are all dealing with intimacy and fear issues ,,and only Love can show the way. hope some of that made sense,,truly appreciate your post ,,hang in there Sister!

Thank you, Deepsoul. I second SnS that a woman can be sexy at any time in her life! The man who fully sexually awakened me... I've never felt so erotic in my life... (Turning red as I write this lol!) is in his 60s and has Parkinson's (my spiritual teacher.) Lordy...

He was so sexy to me because of the way he carried himself, his kindness, and bravery. You are beautiful at any age no matter if you put on weight and can not walk much.

Anyways, yes this was a kundalini experience gone wrong. I did lose my mind temporarily in the hospital which scares me, the combo of the kundalini full crown opening, being empathically completely blown open, and being in a highly stressful environment, then being given drugs, made me lose it.

I didn't know kundalini can actually lead to psychosis. I know next time to ground and keep my mouth shut, no matter how much I want to preach Love to the world... sigh. Also to be assertive and not passively allow things to happen, as I oddly originally did.

Tough lesson learned, self protection is very important.

[EndoftheRoad]

I am way late to the party on this thread, but found it after going down the rabbit hole of what a BlueBird meant symbolically. I definitely am not qualified to speak as an Awakened Woman. Instead I'll just say as a guy who had a similar experience, Emm provided a great synopsis of how to handle things with others especially in the early stages of an awakening. Dealing with other people after the awakening and during stages of awareness where you're highly attuned, yet everyone you encounter seems to be in a robotic and systematic state is tough to describe and deal with.

Your story though resonates with how I encountered the world after realizing form was not form, and then everything reformed, but never felt the same. I hope things are going better for you, and would just remind you to take things slowly, and try to balance your mind body spirit in a way that works for you. Remember its all a game, but you're the one who designed it, then forgot the plans, so have fun.

[bluebird21]

Awesome, I like that :)

"Dealing with other people after the awakening and during stages of awareness where you're highly attuned, yet everyone you encounter seems to be in a robotic and systematic state is tough to describe and deal with." Yes so much to this... what a trip to be walking around the grocery store... realizing this is all my dream, and realizing everybody else is in a trance! It was a very "high level" realization that came on very quickly.

What does a bluebird symbolize?

[EndoftheRoad]

It's an interesting phenomenon to be presented with for sure.

From what my understanding of symbolism, and its one I'm constantly reminded of. To enjoy the moment, stop and smell the roses, remain present and open. Like you said on your other thread, to open to all that arises, not just what the ego prefers.

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by bluebird21

Hi all, first I want to say this is a very sensitive thing for me to bring up... So please, respect and kindness are a must if you respond. Thank you.

I recently had an extraordinary experience of transcendence after doing a cleanse and practice. I did a month long meditation retreat at the beginning of the year and have been noticing shifts in how I experience myself since. I experienced breaking out of linear time and was completely in the NOW. In this place, there was no birth, no death, I was absorbed in Pure Awareness, and I was free.

I kept telling my mom I am you and you are me, that there is no birth and no death. She ended up bringing me to a psych ward because she was very freaked out (we speak different languages as it is...) and I was involuntarily admitted, not based on how I presented, but largely on all my mother's concerns. I was forced to take meds which made me horribly sick. I fought for my life and was let out of there eventually, on none of the meds they tried to give me, with no diagnosis. I've since gone back to experiencing linear time (identifying with my thoughts of past/future) and am more grounded (in my body.)

The experience of being so utterly misunderstood and traumatized to such an extreme has shocked me. I've emotionally shut down since this experience. I mean Jesus...

This experience has triggered tremendous grief. Memories of being an awakened woman in past lives in which horrible things were done to me have surfaced. I feel like a deer in the head lights emotionally, I'm not even meditating out of fear of feeling this wound of feeling like I can not be who I am in this world.

Ladies, how have you/are you healing the burned at the stake wound? Whatever it specifically was for you, the wound that says you can not be your wide awake big hearted witchy self in this world or else you will be severely punished. I know many have it...

I want to stop being so terrified.

Thank you.

Hi bluebird21. So sorry you had to go through that awful experience and am living with the after effects. When I was in a similar place years ago, I read the book "Meeting the Madwoman" (listed below). It's not about "mad" women at all, but about embracing the inner feminine spirit that lives inside all of us. It's a really good read and I still have my copy in my nightstand so many years after originally reading it. It's a book that I like to go back and visit a lot. It's very empowering and for me, after reading it, I didn't feel so isolated inside my own mind. Best of luck to you.

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mee...ard/1111593406

[LadyShadow]

I completely understand what this is like. I have had many "awakening" experiences in my life and have subsequently ended up in the psych ward. Every single time it happened and I was heavily medicated, I felt a piece of my spirit die.

Now, I am empty. I am on medication and have no connection with my spirit anymore. After years of being beaten down by society, I have been forced in a box in order to survive and make a living without being constantly hospitalized.

Am I crazy, or am I highly attuned to the forces in the universe? One can easily argue that point. I know what the doctors think, but I also know what I experienced, and in NO WAY do I believe that what I felt wasn't cosmic.

[Imzadi]

Originally Posted by bluebird21

Hi all, first I want to say this is a very sensitive thing for me to bring up... So please, respect and kindness are a must if you respond. Thank you.

I recently had an extraordinary experience of transcendence after doing a cleanse and practice. I did a month long meditation retreat at the beginning of the year and have been noticing shifts in how I experience myself since. I experienced breaking out of linear time and was completely in the NOW. In this place, there was no birth, no death, I was absorbed in Pure Awareness, and I was free.

I kept telling my mom I am you and you are me, that there is no birth and no death. She ended up bringing me to a psych ward because she was very freaked out (we speak different languages as it is...) and I was involuntarily admitted, not based on how I presented, but largely on all my mother's concerns. I was forced to take meds which made me horribly sick. I fought for my life and was let out of there eventually, on none of the meds they tried to give me, with no diagnosis. I've since gone back to experiencing linear time (identifying with my thoughts of past/future) and am more grounded (in my body.)

The experience of being so utterly misunderstood and traumatized to such an extreme has shocked me. I've emotionally shut down since this experience. I mean Jesus...

This experience has triggered tremendous grief. Memories of being an awakened woman in past lives in which horrible things were done to me have surfaced. I feel like a deer in the head lights emotionally, I'm not even meditating out of fear of feeling this wound of feeling like I can not be who I am in this world.

Ladies, how have you/are you healing the burned at the stake wound? Whatever it specifically was for you, the wound that says you can not be your wide awake big hearted witchy self in this world or else you will be severely punished. I know many have it...

I want to stop being so terrified.

Thank you.

I experienced something very similar. The NOW, Timelessness, Seeing yourSELF in ALL things and ALL beings, Perfection, Wholeness, Multidimensional Awareness, etc. etc. I have since realized that what happened was something like phasing out of the limited ego perception and the collective dream/matrix of finite separation and duality. When that happens, we are perceiving reality in a multi-dimensional and infinite fashion. Hell, we realize we are not merely just a character perceiving reality, WE literally are REALITY Itself.

Unfortunately, what might be considered a mystical or shamanistic experience in the past is often mistaken for psychological psychosis. In the far past perhaps when people are naturally AWAKE, this would be the norm and would be understood. However, since it is not currently the case in this society, we have to do a balancing act of being in this world but not of this world.

For me, this means that I must nurtured my expanding and AWAKEN consciousness while simultaneously staying grounded enough to play by the rules of the collective egocentric reality and play human the best I can. It is entirely possible to strike the right balance, but it is still a challenge and one I am working on. When you've experience something transhumanistic, it is impossible to go back.

What you can do now, Bluebird, is to try to find your own balance. It will take effort, but it is possible! One day, we can reveal our wings freely and without fear, but until then, I just pretend that I am at a giant masquerade ball while enjoying the human experience the best I can knowing full well who I really AM and who WE really ARE. :)

*BIG BIG HUGS*

[bluebird21]

Originally Posted by Imzadi

I experienced something very similar. The NOW, Timelessness, Seeing yourSELF in ALL things and ALL beings, Perfection, Wholeness, Multidimensional Awareness, etc. etc. I have since realized that what happened was something like phasing out of the limited ego perception and the collective dream/matrix of finite separation and duality. When that happens, we are perceiving reality in a multi-dimensional and infinite fashion. Hell, we realize we are not merely just a character perceiving reality, WE literally are REALITY Itself.

Imzadi, it is nice to connect with you here! long time no see. Thanks for the love.

Honestly my life has shifted so much since this experience, I've moved to a Buddhist center and practice has become the focus of my life as well as my mentorship relationships with teachers. I accessed a primordial confidence and trust in myself and fierceness for protecting myself in the hospital that I have NEVER felt before so I am seeing it as a kind initiation of sorts.

You above describe my experience to a T... which I find fascinating. Maybe this is a universal experience. The multidimensional awareness tripped me out, realizing the body is just a projection of mind and can travel through different timelines and dimensions.

Yes finding my balance. Glad you are too. Lots of love to you friend. ❤️