Was I a faery in a past life? (please reply!)

[rococodreams]

I just joined this forum and posted my possible past life memories in the 'death and the afterlife' section of these forums, but after seeing this section I think I should mention them here too.

A while back, I was watching 'My Neighbour Totoro' by Studio Ghibli, and there was a scene that stopped me short. In this scene, a little girl crawls through a tunnel made of leaves into a giant forest of huge, ancient trees. As soon as I saw these trees and heard the music accompanying them I felt the unbearably strong, poignant tugging/twisting feeling in my stomach that I'm sure so many of you are accustomed to, that feeling of 'something more'. As I concentrated on this forest, I suddenly recalled memories to the surface of my mind like something coming to the surface of water, that had been buried until this moment.

I 'remembered' a giant, sprawling, old forest full of giant trees, and earthen hues of greens and blues and golds, the leaves so high up above and filtering golden light to the forest floor; the words 'mythical' and 'ancient' spring to mind. I had a sense of déja vu for this place I've never stepped foot in. I felt very connected and tied to this forest, like I was one with it. I felt like I was guarding and protecting it and was attuned to its feelings and could 'listen' to it. There possibly could have been other 'guardians' whose auras and vibrations I was attuned to, almost like my sisters. This forest was my entire word, I felt. I knew it completely and had an in-depth knowledge of everything in it. But now, I feel trapped, almost chained down, and I cannot much, if anything, about this forest. Who knows, it may just be my subconscious forming images of what I desire. But I have to know.

I have always adored nature and felt very in tune with it. I feel fluid and at peace when I am in nature, and can very easily let go of my ego there and be my true self. I have always felt very comfortable with animals, plants and natural life, and I care about the environment and feel like I can listen to the trees and old monuments, even now. I have always believed spirits and fairies (I call them fae) exist, being Irish, and, being sensitive/claircognisant, am generally able to understand and experience them more often and with more clarity than someone who hasn't consciously developed their abilities. So maybe it is just my mind playing cruel tricks on me, but I really feel like this forest was real to me, even if it isn't anymore. I just want closure and to know what this means.
I am a lonely teenager surrounded by friends who, although they are loving and I care for them deeply, do not understand these memories or feelings that I have. I welcome all thoughts or replies!

(I'm not sure how to edit the title but if I could I would add 'or a nature spirit' as I know what the fae are like and while most of their attributes apply to me (empathic, intuitive, nature-loving, mistrusting of humans, wise beyond years, delicate/strange facial features), most of the time I am very soft hearted and loving, as opposed to cruel/mischievous. I used to be very misanthropic but now I have learned to love freely but still hold a slight instinctual wariness for humans).

[mosaicmind]

There are various views on this topic, and how you interpret your feelings may depend on your particular beleifs about reincarntion. Some people believe that souls or consciousness can incarnate on other planets, for example, where the life-forms might be analagous to earth biology, or may be so different that we would have trouble recognizing them as lifeforms at all. In Buddhist mythology, people can incarnate across all levels of being - from the lower realms all the way to the realm of gods. In between are a wide range of beings, with humans about in the middle. There are also analogues to what we might view as angels, nature spirits, demons, and so on, as well as all animals and plants as well; in other words, all physical as well as spiritual beings. Perhaps one interesting difference between this mythology and Western thought is that spiritual beings have life-spans: they are not immortal. Even those in the realm of gods eventally die, and may be reborn in the human, or even lower, realms. So, if you believe in a worldview like this, than it would be possible to have had past lives as non-human spiritual beings, such as "fairies".

[rococodreams]

Thank you for the informational reply! And yeah, I'm still trying to figure out what I believe in at the minute- I'm still trying to stop feeling guilty about turning away from Christianity. I wasn't brought up believing in reincarnation, so I'll definitely research further soon, especially Buddhist mythology and how that fits into my strange memories. Honestly, im just trying to find something that will justify how I feel, or something that will click with me.

[linen53]

Why try to figure it out? Just close your eyes and let your heart lead you. It will never get you lost, lie to you or play a cruel prank on you. That I can guarantee.

You're young. Still in your teens, you said. I do understand when we are young we want to know everything 'now'. But your truths are going to reveal themselves to you throughout your life when you are ready for them. And that, my friend, is a very long time.

[rococodreams]

This means a lot to me, thank you so much for taking the time to answer. And I guess you're right, I don't have to know everything right now. I guess I just want something solid to believe in, if that makes sense? Thank you again!

[linen53]

Lol, there is no solid. If that were the case there would be no risk. If there is no risk, there is no conundrum. If there is no conundrum you would not grow spiritually.

When those little gifts of knowing pop open over your lifespan you will have that moment of being on top of the world.

It's like a kid who opens all her Christmas presents before Christmas. Then Christmas would have no meaning, no excitement. Nothing to explore.

Oh and on leaving Christianity? I understand that guilty feeling. But I learned when I stepped out on my own, that's when things really got interesting and my spiritual growth skyrocketed. Just keep doing what you are doing.

[rococodreams]

That's both illuminating and true haha, and I do enjoy those gifts of knowing! And I think it's going to take a while to stop feeling like I'm 'wrong' for seeking other spiritual paths, or to stop automatically viewing other paths/religions as myths because of childhood teachings, but I'll get there. Right now I'm just enjoying the ride and letting my intuition and heart guide me.

[linen53]

Good for you. One foot in front of the other.

[Psychictiff]

I was picking up strong karmic ties to Celts, so I'd explore that, however that doesn't negate a past life as a fae.

[Lord_Viskey]

In Theosophy they refer to a human being as having a "compound constitution," which to me means that we are composed of several bodies all at one time (as example : we are a physical being; an emotional being; a mental being; an intuitive being; a spiritual being; etc.). Together, the units of our compound constitution compose what I also refer to as our "atom".

Each of these bodies have very specific levels of "development", but they are combined in the one entity that we are familiar with. Whatever the level of development; whatever the amount, or quality of our experiences, we are a summation of these bodies - we are a summation of our "atom".

By my reckoning, we should be able to tap into any one of our "bodies", and immerse our selves in the level of quality, of that body we have currently obtained. But in doing so, we are also enabled to experience, to learn, to improve, on whatever "level" of development that that "aspect" of our being has so far achieved.

In my belief, every one of those bodies of our "compound constitution" has had experiences that would count as bad, good or indifferent. Those experiences, & how we have related to them define us as unique individuals (in the eyes of God, if you prefer - or not).

Although I personally believe in reincarnation, I am also aware that the atom of our soul has ability to exist in other - more "subtle" - realities. This is just a quality in having an "evolving soul," in my eyes.

So, I believe that "yes", it is possible to have a history, and a relationship, as well as the ability to relate to reality, from the eyes of some primordial nature spirit, that has locked its "sense of awareness" into us - perhaps for the sake that it doesn't want to loose its own sense of identity.

Its something that we should be able to accept, or fight, or remain indifferent to - whatever the higher order of intelligence (with)in the atom chooses to do.

Our bodies are only "there" (or here) for the sake of having the right tool to work with in the appropriate environment we choose to work within anyway.