confusing messages

[kindheart]

Hi all,
It seems whenever I go through rough or confusing periods in romantic relationships, I notice strings of numbers everywhere, which I feel are messages but messages for which I don't like the interpreted meaning (associated with changes and endings, 555, 888, 999, 000, etc). My boyfriend and I (3 years, a stepson involved) have had our ups and downs and once again have been hitting a rough patch. I didn't know what to do. Part of me wants to be happy and think it's never gonna get better than this, another part of me thinks I can definitely do more for us... haven't given it my all, and another part sometimes feel the only reason I feel so doomed is that most people would say relationships shouldn't be this hard and I can do better and be happier with someone else. This thought makes me uneasy, as I should be the one to decide on that, but what others' think bother me.

Last week, I decided I was gonna try to meditate, find more inner peace, try focusing on the positive instead of the negative... not sweat the small stuff and try not to be so naggy when something bothers me, see if it has any positive influence on our relationship. I wanna know I've done all I could before calling it quits. I do love him and really wish things could work but again, because of others' opinion, I think it may just be wishful thinking/denial. Anyway, last week I was seeing lots of 222 and 777, which made me think my idea to focus on the positive, make the best out of this and see, was good. I don't remember what came first, the numbers or my choice to meditate more and be less negative, to try and worry less (I always worry a lot). Then today, was again very stressed about our relationship (about whether I'm in denial or if I really should call it quits, which in all honesty I don't feel ready for, I don't want it to be the end, not now, not before I gave it my all, no matter how painful it is at times). Then I started seeing my dreaded numbers on my way to work (but all different, which is annoying). 999, then 666, then a 444... I thought ok, all different numbers, they're just numbers not necessarily a message I should break up and move on. As I was thinking this, I saw 000 (ending??). By then I was really stressed out and even angry, to the point of cursing in my head and thinking "I WANT TO MAKE MY OWN CHOICES! I DON'T WANT THESE CONFUSING MESSAGES! I DON'T WANT TO BE INFLUENCED, BY ANGELS OR LOVED ONES OR EVEN MY OWN INSECURITIES!" I said to myself ok if those numbers were really messages for me I'll get one more sign before getting into work (this was while parking my car). And what do you know, the car parked by the entry door had "MYANGEL" as a license plate (here, license plates are either 3 letters + 3 numbers, or specially picked out writings). I cursed.

Needless to say I felt stressed, helpless, sad, confused, all day. After calming down a bit, I'm still wanting to just give this relationship my all. I don't want regrets, even if it means prolonging the pain if it doesn't end up working out.

[slowsnake]

Hello kindheart,
All I can say is wow,all these numbers ruling your life,what would of happened if these numbers were meant for the person behind you or before you,what happens if these numbers were not there at all that day,would you have still had these upheavals in your life?
Yes,of course you would,whether or not these numbers were there or not,did it cause your problems?.well no

Forget all these numbers and stop blaming yourself, your profile says single female student,with stepson mentioned in the above post, I think therein lies the problem!

Kind Regards Billy.

[Carnate]

I gotta confess that numerology is one of those subjects that hasn't kept my interest. I do know there is power in numbers, and they can be used for various reasons... but I'm ill-equipped to respond in the manner you're asking.

However, I'll offer an alternative; do what feels right for you. It's common to have some form of discord with the people we fall in love with.. I'd go as far as saying it's necessary (for good reasons). You should expect each relationship to have sufficient hurdles that will help you both grow and develop as people. In some respects, this can be an ongoing (although sporadic) series of problems and difficulties.. each one burning away the dross and leaving your purer at the end.

This isn't to say that you should remain in unhappy or unstable relationships.. or put up with situations that are not working for you. If you're unhappy, I'd suggest you find the answer within yourself; and this isn't a black/white solution such as 'stay or leave'. Don't look for an external source for direction.. you need to take ownership of your actions; an external source removes responsibility for your choices and limits personal development.

There is also the risk that being alert to outside signals and signs will result in something being misinterpreted and you making the wrong choice.

[slowsnake]

Hello kindheart,

Look at my post and Carnates post,do you see anything unusual there?
We both posted at 8:57 am,you may see something in that,I don't,it means two members of SF posted at the exact same time,that's all,nothing magical,just one of life's little coincidences!

Kind Regards Billy.

[kindheart]

Thank you both... I felt psychotic! I think you're right... and I've got enough on my mind as is, no need to add numbers on top of it!
(and oops, Slowsnake, I guess it's been a few years since I updated my profile, hahaha. Edit - over 5 years!)

[shoni7510]

Hello Kindheart,

You seem to be in a dysfunctional relationship which is toxic and you can't see your way out. You are trying to make it work which means you are not ready to see it for what it is and you are upsetting yourself with the numbers that are probably unrelated to you. Continue with the meditations and take it one step at a time.

[slowsnake]

Hello,
Well you have 3 good replies to your post,all 3 have the same theme but from folk continents apart I suppose.
The answer lies within yourself,its there, and you just have to get your head around the problems, answers like you have here are just really using logic and you will sort it out, I can already feel it "in my bones!".lol.

Kind Regards Billy.

PS..please keep Carnate, Shoni7510 and myself up to date on your progress!

[stars]

Kindheart,
I will give you a different perspective than the others have, not to confuse you, but perhaps it will resonate with you in some way.

I think it's possible that the numbers themselves don't have any particular meaning, except that one day you decided that a certain string of numbers means something positive, and a certain string of numbers means something negative. I think it is possible that your angels or guides, higher self, or whatever you believe in, are using these numbers to send you messages, not because they think the numbers mean something, but because you think they do. Have you noticed that if you look up numerology, there are so many conflicting reports on what the numbers mean? I think it's because they all mean something different to everyone, and so no one can say exactly what they mean. It is the same as when you are learning to interpret visions... a birthday cake to one person may mean that someone's birthday is coming up, and to another person that a baby is coming. The guides know what it means specifically to you, and then use it in your context.

I have been seeing the number 20 on digital clocks for several months now. It started because my birthday is 4/20, and I really like that number and had started to see only that at first. Then I started seeing 5:20, then 7:20, 8:20... very often when just randomly glancing at a digital clock, (my phone, my radio in car, the clock at work, the computer...) Many many times lately when I bring my phone out of sleep, the clock will be stuck on the 20 minute mark (example: 3:20) and then when I put in my password I find out that is is actually 3:32. This has happened so many times lately that it makes me wonder. What would make my phone get randomly stuck on the 20 minute mark so often... this literally happens at least once a day... that it is either a glitch in my phone or is part of these messages I may be receiving.

Well, still to this day, I have no idea if the number 20 means anything to me. But I started to wonder if because I put meaning into it, that is why I started seeing it non-stop. Perhaps it is just my subconscious, being the super computer that it is, and knowing exactly what time of day it is at any given moment, maybe it is just prompting me to look at the clock at just the exact moment...

... maybe I'll never know... but in your case, if they are not messages from above, then perhaps you can imagine that these numbers are literally everywhere, but your subconscious only randomly notices them when it is trying to tell you something.

so there's two perspectives for you to chew on I guess... hope it helps.

[calla lily]

Hello, kindheart,

In your post, you say you want to work things out one last time, give it your all before you call it quits. What about your boyfriend? Is he also working on himself and/or the relationship, or is just you who is putting in the effort? How does he feel about the relationship/situation and about the future of the relationship?

Also, is the cause for the rough patch something that you think if you get over it, that it won't appear, again? If it's something that could appear again and give you problems, that is something for you to take into consideration.

I do understand wanting to try everything before giving up, but if you are the only one trying to make it work, that is not a good sign.

[MicroMacro]

Originally Posted by kindheart

Last week, I decided I was gonna try to meditate, find more inner peace, try focusing on the positive instead of the negative...

I said to myself ok if those numbers were really messages for me I'll get one more sign before getting into work (this was while parking my car). And what do you know, the car parked by the entry door had "MYANGEL" as a license plate

Needless to say I felt stressed, helpless, sad, confused, all day. After calming down a bit, I'm still wanting to just give this relationship my all. I don't want regrets, even if it means prolonging the pain if it doesn't end up working out.

It looks like you've been offered an abundance of help, and you're not interested. You'd rather "prolong the pain".

I'm curious - what do you think you'd be posting about if you'd been asking for direction with this relationship and hadn't received any?

What makes it so hard to believe that the inner peace you're looking for isn't waiting for you at the end of this relationship? Or - asked a different way - are you confusing wanting inner peace with wanting control over the destiny of the relationship? Which one is your priority?