And so the roller coaster keeps going....

#1 19-09-2011, 03:55 PM

I weave in an out of this board. Sometimes I feel it makes me think of the TF even more and other times it feels so appropriate. What a crazy journey.

Well, I thought I was all cool until I had a complete break down on my bday. I was with friends having a blast and something triggered it. But I began to cry very deeply, that I was afraid I've lost the love of my life and why won't he talk to me, why is he doing this, and so on. NOW, I know it's not that kind of connection. I get the TF isn't about romantic ideals, but you know a few drinks can lower the inhibitions and bring out the emotions. I am blessed to have such amazing girlfriends. Even though they have been listening to me for so long and I try to limit my talk. They encouraged me to let it out, and told me I can't help what i feel. Nope, i sure can't

On another note, I realize that the guy I've been seeing who is really awesome is gonna get caught in the cross-fire . On the one hand, I don't want to turn away from connections with others, but on some level it makes it worse. Like, you aren't him. I suppose if I was really meant to be with him, my mind would shift even a bit. Meaning, lots of people have TF but are with other people. BUT, when that happens I suspect the other person doesn't make them think and long for their TF even more. It's kinda sad since I'll never know if it's just the TF blocking me from going further or if it was never going to be more. But, it's hard he treats me awesome and we have an amazing connection. It's the chemistry that's the issue. I was so on fire for the TF and with this connection, I don't have any butterflies at all. Now, I know the fire ones often burn to hard and too fast, but there should be some kind of tingles, etc

ANYWAy, as alwAYS thanks for the ear and some potentially helpful words!@

#2 19-09-2011, 04:14 PM

I know all about the roller coaster! Sometimes all you want to do is make it stop so you can get off and breathe for a while....
However...I also think that you need to follow your heart wherever it leads, and also trust that the universe will put you where you need to be. When my TF came into my life, I had been engaged to, and living with, another man, for 6 years. I had to think long and hard about the situation, but finally had to admit to myself that I was miserable where I was. It had to change. With my TF (even before I realized how strong our connection was) there were tingles, and warm fuzzies and everything else! I didn't have any of those things with the other man (which should have been the first clue, I guess!)
If you don't have the feelings, then follow your gut and wait it out. If you have a chance to be with your TF...go after it with all you've got. These last 6 months with my TF have been the roller coaster you describe - happy/sad, elated/frustrated..but overall totally, completely in love and at peace with where things are going. It's hard...but we have to trust that the universe knows what it is doing.

Internal Queries · #3 19-09-2011, 04:27 PM

well, one can sure get stuck on an individual manifestation of the Him (or Her) but everyOne is manifesting aspects of those archetypes. if one allows one may discover (or be discovered by) a more accurate rendition of the Him (or Her).

just a thought.

#4 19-09-2011, 04:33 PM

IQ, I typically like hearing your POV, can you expand? thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Internal Queries

well, one can sure get stuck on an individual manifestation of the Him (or Her) but everyOne is manifesting aspects of those archetypes. if one allows one may discover (or be discovered by) a more accurate rendition of the Him (or Her).

just a thought.

#5 19-09-2011, 04:35 PM

No, there is no chance. iF there were, we wouldnt be having this conversation, HAHA. I already had it with him and no it's no more. No clue, if it's a that's it for this go round or if it's possible in the future (of this life). EIther way, my feeling is I have to keep on living my life and taking chances and keeping the heart open. It all feels like a test!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sesheta

I know all about the roller coaster! Sometimes all you want to do is make it stop so you can get off and breathe for a while....
However...I also think that you need to follow your heart wherever it leads, and also trust that the universe will put you where you need to be. When my TF came into my life, I had been engaged to, and living with, another man, for 6 years. I had to think long and hard about the situation, but finally had to admit to myself that I was miserable where I was. It had to change. With my TF (even before I realized how strong our connection was) there were tingles, and warm fuzzies and everything else! I didn't have any of those things with the other man (which should have been the first clue, I guess!)
If you don't have the feelings, then follow your gut and wait it out. If you have a chance to be with your TF...go after it with all you've got. These last 6 months with my TF have been the roller coaster you describe - happy/sad, elated/frustrated..but overall totally, completely in love and at peace with where things are going. It's hard...but we have to trust that the universe knows what it is doing.

Internal Queries · #6 19-09-2011, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinwonder7

IQ, I typically like hearing your POV, can you expand? thanks!

well, from my POV every man and woman on the planet are manifesting as aspects of the archetypal male/female duality. "He" can be any man and is every man and "She" can be any woman and is every woman. there's a constant dance of shifting versions of human male and female interaction in the quest to find the "perfect" symbol of the archetypal coupling, the merging into One.

one may get stuck on a certain individual because he (or she) is the most accurate version of the Him (or Her) yet encountered. however, the refinement of the male/female duality concept is not yet complete so being open to the possibility of further refinement via the encountering of a more accurate rendition of the He (or She) might be advantageous.

#7 19-09-2011, 05:48 PM

Sure, agreed. But, the one I am with now feels like an amazing friends. It's been almost 2 months and I just don't quite feel the intimacy. Well, friendship intimacy. we have great talks and so forth, fun times. I just don;t feel the spark. I need the spark. I have been "trying", but it needs to just flow. And I don't want him to get hurt in the cross fire of my feelings. At times, he makes me think of the TF even ,ore. Plus, I had a very vivid dream last night of me telling him we need to be just friends. And it was in real time, his real house, etc.

And yes the TF us the ideal that I never knew i had. I had no clue someone could hit me on so many levels. I figured different people offered different things, but ya so much coming from one person. Anyway, I have done my best to separate it and just keep the heart open, which I will continue to do. I just don't want to end up using this person who I do care about.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Internal Queries

well, from my POV every man and woman on the planet are manifesting as aspects of the archetypal male/female duality. "He" can be any man and is every man and "She" can be any woman and is every woman. there's a constant dance of shifting versions of human male and female interaction in the quest to find the "perfect" symbol of the archetypal coupling, the merging into One.

one may get stuck on a certain individual because he (or she) is the most accurate version of the Him (or Her) yet encountered. however, the refinement of the male/female duality concept is not yet complete so being open to the possibility of further refinement via the encountering of a more accurate rendition of the He (or She) might be advantageous.

mystical · #8 19-09-2011, 11:06 PM

i know exactly how u feel there , i have a chance to be with a couple of people if i wish , but i just cnat do it , i had settled before for many year and they got hurt because of my feelings for my tf . now i dont see it being right just being with another just to try and move on , unless there is a spark there or that flutter i am not interested , my heart is open but i dont want to be with a man and just "settle again " not only that but i dotn want to hurt anyone else .i believ the universe tests us to see how much we want it and the more we want it the more we believe in it and the more we believe in it and feel joy from it , the more we are following our true path