Secret job dream

Ladyrose92 · #1 27-01-2018, 09:58 AM

I was on a bus with Matt. There were about 15 other people. An old man got on and was secretly asking people if they wanted a job in Taiwan. That was top secret. People were suspicious and so was I. He went past me so I said what about me and he said that he had asked me already a time before. He then stood next to me and whispered that I should follow my intuition and not let this opportunity slip by. He run his hand up my thigh and touched me. And I woke up.

xXeNeRGy86Xx · #2 27-01-2018, 01:42 PM

Well that sounds sick, i guess it's pretty clear though, follow your intuition. Some horrible people in this world I'd rather not remember exist, but I guess it's important enough to not forget that the oppurtunities that await us are not always good opportunities regardless of what our intuition tells us. Prehaps a warning that you should second guess yourself and make sure you know what it is you want 100% before you get involved. But at the same time use your intuition don't overthink things ???

I'm not sure who 'matt' is in relation to you but "matts" in my experience have always been pretty horrible (mostly abusive) people. Just my perspective doesn't mean they are the same to you.

Ladyrose92 · #3 27-01-2018, 02:06 PM

Life is so confusing to me at the moment. I don't know if all what appears to be is fake and people in my life are hurting and deceiving me and the best thing for me to do is be totally on my own, a Lone Ranger. Or whether it's something in me that's uncomfortable that makes me perceive that everyone around me is out to get me. I don't know which way is up but what I do know is that every morning I wake up I wish I wasn't in this world. I do overthink. But then when I don't I wonder if I'm not thinking enough and I'm being naive to people's intentions around me. No-one around me actually does something outright, it's always covert and subliminal that it affects me but if I was to say anything I'd probably look like the crazy one. In the dream, I don't trust the situation, but at the same time I wonder if it's that distrust that's the problem and not what is actually presented to me. Matt is my partner, and last week I concluded it was him that is abusive towards me, but then I start doubting myself and that it's my own problems inside myself and I don't want to ruin everything by not seeing it as it really is. I keep having dreams that i haven't written on here about being touched on my private area, it makes me feel really uncomfortable in the dream I feel like it's trying to make me aware of a feeling. I try to work this out myself but it becomes so confusing which is why I'm getting to the point now where I feel i need a professional who can support me because I don't feel I can do this on my own. No one around me understands me and I'm not just saying that, I feel so alone, It may be hard to find someone who can help me too because even though they are trained etc they always seem to me to just be in it for the money and not actually care about me. All this makes me feel like God is just drawing me closer to him/her, but it really is driving me crazy. I feel so stuck in life and this dream is a good representation of the conundrums I find myself in.

xXeNeRGy86Xx · #4 27-01-2018, 02:42 PM

:( without knowing your exact situation it's hard for me to offer advice but it sounds like you lack self confidence and/or you need to stand up for what it is YOU want, if somebody is dominating or abusive they are only going to continue to pray on your weakness and walk over you until you do something about it. Or maybe giving them the benefit of the doubt they simply don't realize what it is they are doing and you need to spell it out more directly and tell them what it is that's bothering you.

If any situation is making you uncomfortable why would you do anything other than removing yourself?? I would say if you're unsure what you should do maybe it's best to take a step back and reevaluate, take time for yourself and see how things pan out without you being involved and it might give you a clearer view of what's really going on. That might be a hard thing to do but I believe things that are meant to happen will come to you when they are meant to.

On the other hand if what you're talking about is more than just a metaphor for being uncomfortable, or even if it does only mean you're not comfortable with where you are and feel stuck, know that real help DOES absolutely exist and you MUST seek it out. Maybe this is helping? I personally believe as far as psychology is concerned, most therapists are in it to help 1st, as well as having a genuine interest in the subject. If money were their only incentive they would be out of a job or at least have poor reviews. You should never wish for not wanting to be in this world, the life you're living now is a gift and far from the potential life you could be living, it just may take a major change to get there. I'm in the process of doing the same myself. And I cut out virtually everyone 1st of the year it feels very lonely but it's liberating to know a clean slate is being built. I'm keeping my mind sane doing things like this, just have faith and stay positive. Sorry your situation is not good.

Ladyrose92 · #5 27-01-2018, 02:57 PM

I do lack self confidence and it is hard for me to stand up for myself. When I do it comes across as forceful which I don't mean it to be, I see people around me who know how to deal with situations perfectly and I just don't have this skill yet. I realise if people don't know how it makes me feel then they are not a mind reader so I will look at expressing when situations make me feel uncomfortable. If they can't respect or understand that, then like you say, then why wouldn't I remove myself from that. I guess I feel scared. I imagine being totally free on my own, no family no one to depend on me and me not to depend on anyone. I could go where I wanted and build the life I dream of. But that scares me being on my own even though at times I feel this is all i want. I hope that I will find the right person who will get me and be able to help, talking on here does help me to see things clearer when it's written and thought about, but I still manage to get confused haha. I know life is a gift and I know to be here now is amazing, but it's just this emotional deep feeling I get that destroys that peace inside me, I wake up deeply depressed everyday and part of me knows until I figure this out, I won't be happy deep down. I'm glad to hear that you've take the step you needed too, I worry that I would need to work hard to stay sane,but like you say having faith and staying positive does really help and making that choice is what makes it happen in your life. No worries, I'm sure it will get better at some point, I just need to get over whatever this is, thank you for your kind words, your courage to live according to what you feel is best is an inspiration! Thank you!

xXeNeRGy86Xx · #6 27-01-2018, 03:14 PM

I taped a fortune cookie fortune to my bathroom mirror "you can't discover new oceans until you lose sight of the shore" it's advice I think most of us have trouble following, walking away from what's comfortable and rolling dice to be free. remember freedom is never really 'free'.

I'm sure you will get better too, sometimes you just can't help how you feel even when it makes no sense.

FallingLeaves · #7 27-01-2018, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ladyrose92

Life is so confusing to me at the moment. I don't know if all what appears to be is fake and people in my life are hurting and deceiving me and the best thing for me to do is be totally on my own, a Lone Ranger. Or whether it's something in me that's uncomfortable that makes me perceive that everyone around me is out to get me. I don't know which way is up but what I do know is that every morning I wake up I wish I wasn't in this world. I do overthink. But then when I don't I wonder if I'm not thinking enough and I'm being naive to people's intentions around me. No-one around me actually does something outright, it's always covert and subliminal that it affects me but if I was to say anything I'd probably look like the crazy one. In the dream, I don't trust the situation, but at the same time I wonder if it's that distrust that's the problem and not what is actually presented to me. Matt is my partner, and last week I concluded it was him that is abusive towards me, but then I start doubting myself and that it's my own problems inside myself and I don't want to ruin everything by not seeing it as it really is. I keep having dreams that i haven't written on here about being touched on my private area, it makes me feel really uncomfortable in the dream I feel like it's trying to make me aware of a feeling. I try to work this out myself but it becomes so confusing which is why I'm getting to the point now where I feel i need a professional who can support me because I don't feel I can do this on my own. No one around me understands me and I'm not just saying that, I feel so alone, It may be hard to find someone who can help me too because even though they are trained etc they always seem to me to just be in it for the money and not actually care about me. All this makes me feel like God is just drawing me closer to him/her, but it really is driving me crazy. I feel so stuck in life and this dream is a good representation of the conundrums I find myself in.

In my mind you've already taken a very good step: not claiming to know exactly what is going on. You probably can't see from where you are, but that is huge in my mind.

I don't know if going it alone is an option for you or not... I do know that I definitely preferred NOT to do that, NOT to have to be totally 100% in charge of my own experience.

I could say more but don't want to intrude... there is one more thing I did want to say though. That is, I found that trying to walk away from this bad situation made things worse not better. So in the end, I had a choice between making my life worse, and just facing the mess I had head on.

Ladyrose92 · #8 27-01-2018, 04:10 PM

Thank you, I used to spend so much time trying to figure everything out but I have come to a place now where when I notice I am, I sit back and trust all will be well. I trust Gods plan.

I see what you mean, I do take comfort that people in my life can support me it's just at times I have a big feeling of wanting to be free from it all, when there is other baggage involved that makes relationships etc challenging.

Of course, I did feel that too, I thought about leaving my relationship but I heard my heart say that it will just be years with someone else until the same problems come up again, so i definatly agree with you there about facing the mess head on. I get overwhelmed quiet easily so maybe I just need to not be so hard on myself, let be what is, and follow my heart and intuition the best I can.