Indigo-go Adults

[bluebird21]

I have found the transition into adulthood to be very challenging. Since my kundalini rising in 2012 I have been doing what feels like accelerated purging and healing. Always peaks and valleys, but mainly hanging in the dark night valleys. I also have become physically sick recently with chronic fatigue and inflammation causing me major brain fog and pain among other symptoms.

Also the more I purge the more sensitive I have become. At this point I am both an empath (always have been but now this is heightened) and telepath and have few friends because otherwise I get overwhelmed.

I really have retreated from society at this time but hope that I am able to be fully in the world while not being of it at another point in my life as I learn how to be such an intuitive sensitive being in a world that is at times so confusing and painful to be in. <3

[rosiegirl]

Originally Posted by ThePelican

Im 35. Im still very connected to my inner child because my inner child always felt 35. I feel as if im finally entering a stage where I can live life for me and on my terms. Growing up i seemed to be surrounded by or there was always at least one person I had to assist help or save from something in some period of their life. Then i reached a stage where I needed that and there was no one who could help the girl who was always helping someone else. It was a good clearing stage though. I still feel like somewhat of an outsider/observer. Im definitely a loner that attracts different people from all walks of life. Im really looking forward to motherhood at this point in my life.

I'm only 20, but I've been the same way as a kid. I had friends, but I got along more with adults. While the other kids were doing crazy things, I was going to art museums and listening to classical music. I often got upset and confused when my friends weren't acting the same way as me. My friends have also been varied. In high school, I didn't really fit into one clique but was the girl who roamed around from group to group and was sort of friends with everybody. And I've always been an observer. Even as a baby, my parents said that they could see me think.

I believe that I began waking up at around 15. It was also 2012, so crazy astrological stuff was happening to begin with. I began to notice all the falsehoods in the world and I also became more empowered, but I also slowly became more angry as the year progressed. I don't know if it was teenage angst, but I was not happy with anything at 16 and became depressed until I graduated high school and focused more on growing spiritually instead of all the things wrong in the world. It's still hard, though, but I'm getting better.

How do you know?

I mean, know if you are an "indigo" as opposed to routine maladjusted, too smart for your own good, superiority complexes, etc?

I've seen all these tests, but I'm like, come on. How does one find out for themselves if they are truly part of something like this? I could go on with self-description, but if there is such a thing as Indigos, I fit the bill according to every description I've seen. Regardless of the specifics, I just don't like it here, and do not feel any sense of belonging.

My reservation at going with this identity full tilt is that, I've had an extraordinary spiritual 'ride' for the past two years, and even a seeming relationship with a disembodied consciousness. But what I haven't gotten, other than a lot of mistrust, is point-blank answers to my attempts to find out... what ARE you, coming and going from my mind, proving your reality via 'impossible' synchronicity and such? TOTAL silence. I'll ask.... what is my mission here, I feel it strongly but have no certainty of it, not even vaguely; lets me writhe around and kill time like I've taken some kind of bait, and not a bit more of the 'good stuff' (honesty, disclosure of occult truths, stuff like that). I've always wanted to 'run away' from everything and start again with anonymity; for some time after my major Kundalini 'awakening' I would stare at a particular part of the southern sky for quite a while, wondering if there was some astrological or UFO significance to this seemingly random spot. But I said I wouldn't go on like this, I just want to be clear when I say if anyone's got a leg to stand on going around claiming their part alien or some I'd be just the one to fit that bill; except to add, I must have amnesia or something.

I feel as though I've been clearly 'initiated' into something meta-physical, and my life will never be the same, and yet.... I'm getting stiff-armed for answers, and have nothing but self-appointed internet "gurus" even attempting at answers.

How do you find out for yourself your true origins? My 'signs' are hit or miss, like listening to a very fuzzy radio station. Everything seems backwards here.... there's something wrong, and reality itself seems to be 'deceptive' in some way. So I can't just listen to websites concerned with facebook hits and likes and bull like that, I need methods of finding my own answers.

I'm not just thrashing about here, too; it's getting so rough not knowing these things that I'm seriously devolving and turning to self-harm and such, though I know better. Like.... if I won't be given basic answers to basic questions, maybe I don't want to 'help' the collective consciousness after all. If I can't even feel connected to my own self, I can't legitimately want to help, and finding out my "soul mission" despite feeling one so strongly is... just a chore, a puzzle, a ..... joke.

I can handle a lot of duress, but what I can't handle is this clearly imposed ignorance we're all under the thumb of. That part of it, there's no redemptive value to it, no 'cosmic wisdom' going on that could justify that. Until I find these answers, I'm at a huge impasse with my otherwise budding spiritual progress.

[Mr Interesting]

I finally had a look at what indigo is fairly recently and it did click and then remembered a very young girl, with the sight, decades ago said my aura was dark blue and also that when I got into making my own music I choose the moniker indigo mono... but it's kinde meaningless really, supportive? okay, but still you just get on with the task of being happy and having fun... which I started on really early.

Was my early life problematic? I don't know though given modern pronunciations of what affects kids I most probably had them all but just kept throwing myself at life with gay abandon... bit scary sometimes it was but even that was part of the fun.

I don't think it pays to lean at all heavily on any labels... they're always affixed to what was, or what we'll be, therefore quite useless. Just be willing to discover and find out what brave actually means... without medals.

[jojobean]

Originally Posted by ArchIndigo

I know what you all mean. feeling like an outsider(I just keep reminding myself that there is atleast 1 out of 10 people like me.....) So remember we aren't alone, just spread out far from eachother. also is any of you ab+ or ab- blood at all... We only make up about 10-16% of the population.... So if that's the case it would seem like we are each helping between 5-20 people each like a web of love:)

I am ab+

I also have always felt like an outsider, and I think differently than most.
I'm not sure I am indigo but one of my screen names was Starchild. I don't know where I came up with that name, but I've used it for years. I would have also used it here, but it's already taken...

anyway, people are always coming to me for help, or confiding in me or leaving me in charge of things, even at an early age.

I've always strived to be a good person, (not always succeeding but my good side far outweighs the bad side), I lived by my own set of rules and values and I know right from wrong, but I can rationalize anything that I do.

I was a socially awkward kid, even though I had a loud mouth and like I said, in charge a lot of the time, but I also rebelled against being in charge and sometimes acted stupid.

me in a nutshell, I still am left in charge, I still try to be helpful, although sometimes I feel like people are taking advantage of my kindness, I love animals and I listen to old people.