W/ 3rd Parties: to speak of or just quietly live your TF truth?

[RedBasket]

How do you talk about your TF experience with non-spiritual people, folks who probably wouldn't "get it," when you are in a state of detachment/separation, but still believe in the transformational power of this strange bond, this life-changing type of love? Do you feel compelled to be honest and raw about it, or do you just live your truth without sharing it with non-believers? Or is finding the courage of sharing our truth of love important to pursue? Is this part of our mission, to speak honestly about this experience instead of lying or downplaying or covering it up? In my case, I don't have expectations for reunion ... our story may be over in this lifetime or maybe there is more ahead, but regardless of that, I do believe the experience of this love for him brought forth the healing aspects of self love for me, and this will forever change my life.

I've been in a very healthy, thriving place, focusing on my self, rebuilding bridges with friends I've avoided during my dark night of the soul year, engaging in the public promotion of my business, socializing at events, talking about my separation from my husband when it comes up, and feeling part of the world again. I am interacting well with my husband as business partners (it is through our business I met my twin) and I feel solid and ready at last to file for divorce.

I'm also proud to have organized a tentative peace among the 4 people whose world were affected by the TF bubble - my twin and his estranged/ex wife, my separated husband, and me. We can all be on the same guest lists, see each other at public events, talk with shared friends without paranoia. It feels great. I still get thrown off when a shared friend brings up something about my twin, because right now I'm in detachment mode and would rather not be thinking about, discussing, or hearing things about him. But it is just a little wobble, I get back on track quickly with my own work in my own life ahead.

I'm about to have lunch with a mutual friend who knows our story well - or at least has her own opinion on it all. She isn't really a spiritual person and always attributed his and my bond to him just wanting sex/an affair and I have always felt clear it was deeper and not at all some lustful flirting thing. She in fact was the instigator I spoke of in a different thread, and when I realized she provoked my twin's wife, I felt empathy for the wife and knew she must be experiencing paranoia, and this led me to find courage to forge a diplomatic peace between all four of us. The provocateur friend has flaws, as we all do, and doesn't always act with my best interest in mind, but she has good qualities too, seems moved and interested by my behaviors that demonstrate "my pure and honest heart," as she calls it, and I want to maintain the friendship in the areas where it "works" for us both. I think I've taught her about empathy too, just as my twin taught it to me.

I know my boundaries are not to share the personal info I've learned about twin and his wife with this third party. She has seen publicly that we've found our peace and she'll likely want to gossip and I know I won't go there. I know she probably wants to meet to tell me things she's heard about my twin and if she starts to, I plan on interrupting her to explain I need to focus on my own life and don't want to be distracted by even hearing things about him right now.

But if she asks what happened between me and my twin, how his wife reacted to me, etc, it is here that I wonder if I speak my truth or downplay what I experienced. I do love him still, but in a very detached way. It is more like "he lives on in a corner of my heart while I live my own life." But with the peace I've achieved, I must be careful that my words could be repeated to my twin or the general public. Is it a bad idea to admit my life changed in part from the power of this bond, this love? Well, it could still stir the pot in my world in which we are all still healing. Your thoughts?

[ssdm1]

I recently shared this journey with 3 close friends, one of whom is very spiritual. She was very interested and supportive. The other 2 listened, respected what I had to say but I don't think really "got" it. I was sorry I had said anything. For others in my life, even the closest and family, I will not share this. They don't have the capacity or openness to accept something like this and would think I was simply crazy. I just explain him as an old, close, unique friend and tell people they wouldn't understand so don't even try to.

I think it is too hard for those who are not spiritual to really understand this connection and the change it forces on you, so I don't even try to explain.

Hope that helps.

[Emm]

Personally I never spoke about it, to anyone not even tf but my case is different, he is 37 years my junior and I'm sure no one, including him would understand...I found it difficult to understand ...until I found this forum.

This is a personal journey, other peoples opinions would have knocked me off my centre and I needed clarity for my own sanity. Talking to people that I know wouldnt have an inkling of what was happening to me wasnt going to be helpful so I chose to stay quiet. However, they saw a change in me and I'll let that be the teaching if there is any to be had. It doesnt matter how my change came about but how people percieve the changes. I have better relationships now with most people so I'll let action speak louder than my words. But thats just the way my experience has panned out, each to their own. Im sure which ever way you go will be good for you.

[RedBasket]

Thank you, ssdm1. Your story helps me a lot. I'm sorry you lived through the discomfort of sharing your story with the two who listened, but didn't get it. No one wants endure that feeling of the listener responding as if one is crazy!

I'm so glad for this forum and for hearing your beautiful story with your twin. What a long journey it has been for you both. I feel happy whenever I see your username knowing you've experienced reunion.

I feel so happy for myself that I can love my twin without longing, without pain, without expectation a good 92% of the time. The other 8% is still some energetic wobbling and I'm fine with that.

Thanks again for your wisdom.

[RedBasket]

Originally Posted by Emm

Personally I never spoke about it, to anyone not even tf .... Talking to people that I know wouldnt have an inkling of what was happening to me wasnt going to be helpful so I chose to stay quiet. However, they saw a change in me and I'll let that be the teaching if there is any to be had. It doesnt matter how my change came about but how people percieve the changes.

Thank you, Emm. This is very poignant and moving. It is rich how you have chosen to stay quiet, and let your transformation speak for itself. Thank you.

Originally Posted by RedBasket

How do you talk about your TF experience with non-spiritual people, folks who probably wouldn't "get it," when you are in a state of detachment/separation, but still believe in the transformational power of this strange bond, this life-changing type of love? Do you feel compelled to be honest and raw about it, or do you just live your truth without sharing it with non-believers? Or is finding the courage of sharing our truth of love important to pursue? Is this part of our mission, to speak honestly about this experience instead of lying or downplaying or covering it up? In my case, I don't have expectations for reunion ... our story may be over in this lifetime or maybe there is more ahead, but regardless of that, I do believe the experience of this love for him brought forth the healing aspects of self love for me, and this will forever change my life.

Because it needs a fair stretch of belief. It isn't something I believe in because it takes too much a stretch of belief that involves the spirituality of others who I could never own, even if I wanted to. I personally have far more faith in soul-mates because the notion is absent of demands and expectations but we do help each other "grow", support each other and so on.

It doesn't undermine the beliefs and faith of those who do believe it's possible, just that some of us don't.

We in turn have beliefs that twin flamers don't and wouldn't; wouldn't understand. It's like some people believe in God up in the sky; others think that's plain nonsense. Some people think of God as love, others think It made an absolute mess trying to design humanity, Its (Her or His) big mistake. Some believe the earth is flat.

In philosophy, no one wins - they can't! So we just have to go along with, and develop, our beliefs. So it's really a question of finding people who sympathise with your beliefs. They're as valid as anyone else's.

.....

[jro5139]

I used to live by the anthem of "don't give people any more info than necessary so they don't use it against you" but this whole experience has shown me that I need to be more authentic. So I get where your question is coming from. I would be authentic and tell her about your positive changes, but I wouldn't tell her you still love him. I wouldn't give her any details about any conversations you have with anyone else, especially the wife. I would abstain politely from gossip. Given this person already has a track record I would be on alert how much detail I shared with her.

When I was in the mists of the tf drama I confided in a couple friends, who were 3D friends, not my soul family. Eventually they told me they were sick of hearing about it since it was like a soup opera that went on for so long. Their advice was to point out his bad qualities and tell me to "find someone else" which was a mute point because I wasn't looking for someone when I found him. It was never about me having a boyfriend. My soul family's reaction was much more understanding.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by RedBasket

Thank you, ssdm1. Your story helps me a lot. I'm sorry you lived through the discomfort of sharing your story with the two who listened, but didn't get it. No one wants endure that feeling of the listener responding as if one is crazy!

I'm so glad for this forum and for hearing your beautiful story with your twin. What a long journey it has been for you both. I feel happy whenever I see your username knowing you've experienced reunion.

I feel so happy for myself that I can love my twin without longing, without pain, without expectation a good 92% of the time. The other 8% is still some energetic wobbling and I'm fine with that.

Thanks again for your wisdom.

Something else I thought of, when I knew I was going to see him I did not tell anyone. Everyone was already confused how a man I never mentioned came back in my life and drastically changed it. Because it still took many months to see him, I think some 3D friends thought I'd made him up. lol

Even now I've adopted the policy of not telling anyone when I'm seeing him so I don't have to hear eveyone's "expectations." Friends look at this as a 3D man/woman relationship. After I've seen him, they will ask when I'm seeing him again, they expect "progress" in the relationship. It's simply easier on me to keep a lot of this to myself.

I too am glad I have this forum to talk to others who have been where I am and really do understand.

[selene]

it's only my sister who knows. She is deeply spiritual and she is the only person from both our lives who has seen us together. I think, before I even found out about twin flames, she said that when she met us together, the energy was 'almost too much'.

I tried to talk to other people (my brother, my sister-in-law, my two dearest friends) but they were feeling sorry for me lol... and I stopped.

[Aldous]

I've told a lot of people. I even tell some people my soul was split in two and incarnated into two human bodies at the same time, I'm constantly under the influence of some kind of mental telepathy and I can feel the presence of my twin soul out there constantly. I usually tell people this when they expect me to say something fantastic, sensational and feeds their ego. Its fantastic and sensational, but usually it hurts peoples' ego. The truth hurts and you better pay attention to it or else you'll be hurting worse. Little do they know that they are all married in spirit to someone and if they have an earthly marriage to someone who isn't their twin then they aren't really married according to my teachings. I tell some of them, "if you didn't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked". I usually start these rants in response to accusations of remaining "unmarried" (earthly marriage) and not contributing to the reporduction of the human race, being asked if I'm a homosexual, celibacy, etc. Repent sinners! I am a true prophet of God!