Q for (ex)codependents.

[Emm]

In my opinion you cant really look at this from the physical perspective, the physical is just a manifestation of what has been going on within you vibrationally. The answer is always your vibration.

We attract people/events into our lives that generally help us to look within, the bigger the emotional disturbance the more it will likely wake you up to yourself. This is basically what ascension is about, to awaken and clean up our vibration....and if previous relationships or events havent done it for you then the higher self will keep nudging you harder than before until you finally ask whats going on. This is what you ask of your higher self, to help you wake up.

We live in a time/space reality so that we can better focus our attention on things unfolding, so you may not know these answers fully just yet, it can take time. But if you observe yourself, especially to what you're feeling, you may eventually get to the answers you have been asking. To find out why you attracted this epsode to yourself its best to look to what you are FEELING....what have you been searching for....what has your core being been yearning for.

I was in my early twenties and essentially "asleep" but slightly curious about religion, not enough though to follow it up. Then, someone close to me who had been sent home to die as the medical profession could no longer help them, made an instant miraculous recovery from the last stages of cancer through some spiritual healing. This was an event that woke me up big time...lots of questions that went on for years. My family though were not as impressed with my quest so eventually after a lot of fighting I decided for the sake of peace to give it all up and live "normally".

Emotionally I grew angry and resentful until after ten years living like this I got to the point I didnt like myself very much and decided to find my peace, for me, and face the consequences. There was a greater need to understand and it wasnt long after that a stranger came through my front door and I experienced what seemed to be an out of body experience....his energy hit me beautifully hard and thats how it began for me with what we call the tf experience.

As for the twin flame phenomenon...I dont believe the myth of the incomplete half soul. I do believe we can come into touch with beings that resonate closely with our own vibration though and this can have an astounding effect if we were in a receptive mode to feel them. Also, as I understand things, there are those that we may have made agreements with and choosing to align with our vibration. But there is only ever one unique you, there isnt another who is, as the title suggests, a twin aspect of you. We are complete unique beings, shards of the divine whole, and holographic in nature living a unique aspect of the whole, wanting to know itself and expanding on that theme through co creation in a physical reality.

[username4this]

Aw out of few usernames I recognize so far on this forum I recognize yours ForgedInFire

Im not sure what are you asking but Im gonna give it a shot :)
Well I guess any kind of "professional" would say many things or name many names for what Im experiencing, I dont care anymore...

Overall, for me, besides the guy Im into and I call TF for the sake of this forum (I dont care is there a such thing or not)... well besides him Im not much nor I ever been into others...
I figure for me, if Im into that guy for so long, during my lifetime then HE is an exception not a pattern.

What I mean is this: if I would be type of person who was or is obsessed with many other people during my lifetime then I figure it would made me some kind of freak lol

But being that much just into him, I feel it has to have some deeper reason that that Im just a freak.

Also, Im not type of person that has ever been obsessed with any type of activity or anything else. There are workaholics, there are drug addicts, or alcoholics, or people heavily into any kind of activity or religion, or hobbies or whatever... - any kind of activity be it good or bad...

Im not one of those, everything else in my life, I take it easy, if it happen it happen, Im not into anything else besides this guy :)

I dont think, as long as Im sane and in the right mind, I would ever in this life time be into any other human being. For me I dont see that happening, it is not a possibility.
And to say I would be obsessed again with the same force to anybody else it would be a joke, it would be ridiculous :)

Im not meticulous type of person in anything, I dont care about anything that much for me - if it can work, it works if not - let it go, replace, trow away, get another one, it is not a big deal...

For me having this strong connection to him is more of my redeeming quality than a diagnosis lol :)

I figure, in my own personal criteria having TF type of experience is more a exception from what that person IS as a person. It is not a natural pattern for said person.

What I mean, if you see a person who was obsessed with other people, who is too meticulous in every day life, who was recovering anything, who was fanatically into any type of activity... - then it is kinda of pattern for that person to be obsessed with new things...

I dont know if this makes any sense :)

[gypsymystique]

I do not believe a codependent person could make another person feel some sort of connection. That doesn't mean that a spiritual connection one may feel towards another is definitely a twin flame connection.

[bluebird21]

No, how you feel is your responsibility completely, not hers. Just as we can not have our energy taken, we give it away, same with feelings... Nobody can make you feel a certain way actually. This realization that we are 100% responsible for our emotional experience is quite freeing because you realize you have all the power.

I get the feeling you already knew the answer to your question though and that you are trying to kid yourself. Also, we have strong reactions/judgements towards charaeristics and behaviors of others which resonate w us. The stronger our disturbance, the stronger the resonance. My guess is this person is mirroring things in you that you don't much like.

[ForgedInFire]

*warning - this post may trigger some and others to feel offended*

well... this came up at a time i was extensively researching bpd and how they can manipulate and manufacture false senses of feelings by love bombing. so i really wondered if it was possible to fabricate a 'special connection" which now i firmly believe can and does happen very commonly considering all of the stories i have read(not tf related). I do see alot of similarities between bpd and twin flames too actually.

i think in this case it is repulsion by opposites.. in that i cannot resonate with desperate/needy/clingy "im too pathetic to live my own life live it for me" stuff so i have reactions/judgements as "how can anyone live like that?!? its so dreadful and loaded with hopelessness.

i am a person who has always been independent and never needed anyone just to be needed. relationships meant very little to me and they still dont. i think that may be because some of the past women were found out to be that way in some form but didnt reveal to be until after some time with them. i dont feel that anyone should have to give up friends hobbies and etc just to be with some woman all day everyday and having to put all their time and focus on them and deal with their stuff and nothing else.

as for.. her.. she is completely codependent and has admitted as much well completely dependent is more like it.. if she wasnt.. she sure wouldnt be in the stupid situation shes in now with yet another abuser. She must have bpd too .. no one in their right mind would ever think that kind of guy is anything special. oh well.. glad its not me in that position. i feel bad but.. it is what it is.

[ForgedInFire]

Originally Posted by bluebird21

No, how you feel is your responsibility completely, not hers. Just as we can not have our energy taken, we give it away, same with feelings... Nobody can make you feel a certain way actually. This realization that we are 100% responsible for our emotional experience is quite freeing because you realize you have all the power.

Thanks for this i do find alot of truth in that. But i think that we are 99.9% responsible for our feelings and etc but theres always that tiny little part that is just beyond our.. ahh i dont want to say control.. hmm.. perhaps humanity is a good word to choose here.. there are just some things in life that will affect us in ways we dont always enjoy.

[bluebird21]

It takes two to tango. If you are attracting super clingy codependent women, then you are the common denominator. What is it in you that is attracted to this though of course your conscious mind is repulsed, who wants that, something in you is drawn like a moth to a flame on a subconscious level. I'm not speaking w judgement but from experience, what will empower you the most is to stop giving HER all the power and see that you are truly responsible for yourself and for being so attracted to her. Maybe my false twin flame thread will resonate with you.

If you want to get free from these thoughts, ask yourself what in you was attracted to her woundedness and why. I think what is most notable is that you are spending tons of time analyzing HER here which is what keeps one hooked.

She has nothing to do with it, really. YOU attracted and were attracted to her. If you want freedom, no it's no walk in the park, yeah it's super painful for ego to look at the shadow, but if you really want to be a badass empowered man you need to look at your shadow - what in your subconscious was so drawn to her woundedness.

[Kalika]

Originally Posted by ForgedInFire

*warning - this post may trigger some and others to feel offended*

well... this came up at a time i was extensively researching bpd and how they can manipulate and manufacture false senses of feelings by love bombing.

I feel you are on the right track

The way I view it, is that your scars matched hers (vibrationally that is). I hope I don't offend you with my view. So please throw out what doesn't work for you.

The way I see it, is that you have often looked at 'her' (sorry, I haven't read all your posts, so only going by the threads I have read)... but nothing you have written so far has looked inwards.

Our TF is the mirror opportunity to do just that - look inwards. It doesn't matter if she has a personality disorder or is co-dependent, it only matters that you see your scars in all of this. We are attracted to what we need, to wake us up, to heal. You can go around blaming the other person, or, you can take the god-given opportunity to do the necessary work to lift your own vibrations, and thus, consequently attract a healthier person.

I have been hitting a brick wall with my friend. She knows that her mother is NPD and she absolutely black and white refuses to acknowledge she may have fleas. Yet, she does nothing but rant and rave and blame... I keep trying to tell her "gosh, you sound like your mother when you do that!"... but nope, she just refuses to see for herself. So I have given up even trying. One day, I hope she meets someone who actually gets to mirror her own scars. Someone who tips her world upside down so that she finally has the opportunity to start a de-flea programme.

BTW, I'm currently on the de-fleaing programme... haha... thanks to my beautiful beautiful TF

[Kalika]

Out of the Fog website has some good de-fleaing tips

[ForgedInFire]

Originally Posted by bluebird21

It takes two to tango. If you are attracting super clingy codependent women, then you are the common denominator. What is it in you that is attracted to this though of course your conscious mind is repulsed, who wants that, something in you is drawn like a moth to a flame on a subconscious level. I'm not speaking w judgement but from experience, what will empower you the most is to stop giving HER all the power and see that you are truly responsible for yourself and for being so attracted to her. Maybe my false twin flame thread will resonate with you.

If you want to get free from these thoughts, ask yourself what in you was attracted to her woundedness and why. I think what is most notable is that you are spending tons of time analyzing HER here which is what keeps one hooked.

She has nothing to do with it, really. YOU attracted and were attracted to her. If you want freedom, no it's no walk in the park, yeah it's super painful for ego to look at the shadow, but if you really want to be a badass empowered man you need to look at your shadow - what in your subconscious was so drawn to her woundedness.

She was really the only one who was.. and there was one other that didnt like that i could go out for a day or 2 and not want any involvement with her. It wasnt some kind of one after the other thing for me. just those isolated incidences with im guessing a good 10 year time period between them both. But there was never any physical relationship with the woman ive talked about on here. theres alot of things i just wont ever talk about on here either.

I didnt even now about her issues until well after meeting her.. and there was alot of things and interests in our lives that were very similar. i have to be vague here but all ill really say is family members having cancer. so in alot of ways it was like being support for eachother with that. after some time some of hers died while one of mine lived.

i did see that false twin thread but.. i never had any kind of that stuff happen to me with her at all. the only thing i find really strange is like her life is the reverse of mine she is living in situations thats very similar to mine before ever meeting her.

but i dont care what she is.. even if she is/was a tf or false tf.. karmic or even a soulmate.. it just doent matter to me and i dont believe in such things. yes i did for a short time and i even had a few tarot readings that said she was my tf and the same cards kept showing up the few times i asked. not long after that i had bought a piece of moldavite and that thing has the first letter of her name embedded in it. i am still getting annoyed with seeing stupid 11:11 everywhere all the time and that started up again recently but i just ignore it all.

the only thing i cant seem to shake off is this feeling of wanting to "go home" ive had since i was 5.. i dont like being here or dealing with all these people with their use and discard mentality.

sure one could look at all this and be like oh that sounds like tf..but.. i dont care about any of it. Nor am i sure why others take it so seriously when all it seems to be causing is confusion and suffering.