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Thanks everyone!
John,
I really appreciate your kind response.
Cheshire Cat,
Simple and to the point and so true!
Inika,
Your response struck some special chords with me as did yours (((emeraldheart))).
FairyCrystal,
Great response! I know I have to quit finding out what he's up to and that it benefits my vibration NOT AT ALL! Thank you for chastising me in this regard! I've been 'good' on some days and 'bad' on others. It isn't a surprise, is it, that I feel so much better on the days upon which I am 'good'? This is making it easier and easier to just keep looking to myself only and to my own path. For the past week, I notice I have been going longer without consciously considering him in any regard.
As for what I said about his wife being a 'bad person.' Well, it's not just me who feels that way but many others. He actually tried to end it with her a couple of years ago due to their 'toxic' relationship and her issues, but she just wouldn't let go. I won't go on about her psychological makeup, but I am sorry to say she got him into drug use. Our mutual friends/acquaintances cannot help but see that since she's entered his life, his appearance has suffered, as has his health and his career. He looks miserable and drained a lot of the time and the shine in his eyes is gone. He's also lost touch with a good many of us in favor of her younger, more questionable friends. Eh. I won't say anything more as to this as it just upsets me and brings down my vibe, (etc., etc.), which is the opposite of what I'm wanting to achieve.
Yes, he is 'grown up' - and so I should not worry about him. He's incredibly naive and childlike in ways, however, but I'll not say anything further here in this regard either because he is responsible for his life and the decisions he makes therein it - not me. I'd do well to remember that more often.
What you said here: "But I think keeping him in my life, even if it's in the background, will be more difficult than not having him in my life at all anymore.
As TFs, I think each moment of contact will bring back the feelings of what we are not having anymore while we know how good it is to have it."
I agree - and resonate - with this.
I too have been trying to focus on my future more and all I need to do to realize an ideal one for myself.
"The worst thing, I find, is the fact that he left me for another woman. That was a serious blow. Not jealousy or ego so much, but more that he damaged this intensely deep connection we had and still have. Difficult to explain, not going to try either."
Believe me, you don't need to try to explain - I already understand.
I wish you all the best in your own healing, FairyCrystal. I'm sorry deleting your own twin's phone number made you cry. (((Hugs))) I know it is a tough road, but it sounds like you are walking it in strength and with optimism. Good for you. I hope to reach that point myself. I hope you succeed in realizing your own dreams and future! I'll have to look back over your posts to find out more of your backstory (I am somewhat new to this forum).
happyhaunts03,
What beautiful words!
ssdm1,
Yes, the ol' rubber band trick. I tried that once for something else and my wrist was sore in no time! It is definitely a thought worth considering. ;-) Yes, 'surrendering' is an apt and eloquent way to put it. I wish to 'flow' - I really, really do and am set on achieving that (no matter how long it may take me!).
ForgedInFire,
I'm not blaming my twin for my issues - nor do not consider myself a 'victim.' I am well-aware of the fact that I have my own issues. More than aware which is why I am working on myself every single day. It's also the greater reason as to why I'm here at this forum and have posted some of the posts which I have done (I favor the 'Spirituality" and, "Spiritual Development" boards the most). In short, I am not on this board, or in this forum, to whine. I am wanting to learn, grow and evolve. Maybe there'll even be times when I can assist others in doing the same. I hope so.
Again, as far as my twin is concerned, I want to let go, to detach, and am struggling in doing that so I posted the above. It may surprise you knowing that I actually blame myself for a lot of what has happened between my twin and I - for his being lost and myself as well. I think, in part, this guilt is one of the reasons why I am failing at detaching in the way I would most like to.
Also, maybe (please) try to take it down a notch in your tone which was rather 'biting' in nature...You sound kind of angry. You okay? ;-) No hard feelings, man. Anyway, I agree with much of what you said, but some people have not reached a certain kind of clarity or understanding yet and could become upset when reading your post - especially if their wounds are still fresh. I was not upset because, hey, I like to think I am someone who is self-realized and owns up to her own shortcomings. You also seem quick to assume certain things which are, in fact, not true. Evidently, you've come across a certain pattern on this board and think this pattern is true for all women. However, it fails to match my own profile and probably the profiles of some others here. I am also quite hip to the fact that things need changing in my own life and I have been for some time, but thanks for the reminder. In truth, I am wanting to fix the union between myself and my Self. I wish to do that more than anything.
Best wishes!
Last edited by SierraNevadaStar : 13-03-2018 at 12:12 AM.
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well most of my post wasnt directly at you personally.. but rather a general theme i notice for many DF. The last 2 lines of that post were for you though
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