What are the traits you most admire in a partner ?

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by angelic star

You have spoken my mind. If someone is just after how I seemingly appear to them physically, or because in their mind women are just these mere object to massage their silly ego, then I have NO respect for those types actually.
Physical beauty is flattering but there is more to a meaningful relationship than that and what really keeps a relationship alive.

Imagine if one of my friends only wanted me by how I was on the surface and were to belittle me because I 'looked' a certain way or were even to compare to me because I looked a certain way. That would mean they want to exploit me. I think that kind of a relationship and person is shallow. It would be a complete NO to me if I were to be on eggshells because of anything superficial or on the surface. I cannot cater to people's strange/ selfish egos really. Acceptance and trust is very important in any partnership.
Sometimes we don't click with others, but we respect them still because they aren't superficial. That's a different thing, but the above stated qualities are what I would never want in anyone close to me.

Beautifully said...agreed, neither would I

Peace & blessings,
7L

[Dargor]

Kindness, caring, honest, helpful, and loyal are the best traits there are.

[MetamorphicSun]

My partner has almost every trait I could possibly want in my other half. He's gentle, forgiving, loyal, intelligent, passionate, dedicated to a better future.

There are some qualities that he has that sometimes feel like deal breakers for me in our hardest moments. Sometimes he's very selfish, passive aggressive, and stubborn.

Usually the stubbornness is a defence mechanism towards what he perceives to be as criticism. He really can't handle anything that doesn't flatter his ego and therefore gets insecure about that. He'll often say things that aren't true in these moments to save face or something, which I don't understand because it doesn't ever save face to be prideful and then finally be humble days later, after I've wasted precious energy trying to understand why he says things that aren't true in those moments.

I suppose it's a matter of seeing what someone's lower self is like when activated. I believe most people exist in some form of the lower self or matrix. There are tiers within the lower and higher selves, and most operate somewhere in the middle of the lower self. When at our worst moments, chances are we will stoop to the lowest of the low. I've seen this in him and in myself, and if I were to judge these characteristics and apply them to our whole I would find myself unable to transcend those moments.

I think I'm getting a bit off-topic or am at least jumping around a bit without any specific examples to explain. Basically, I'm in a continual process of trying to accept and not judge the horrible traits of the past whilst moving forward, and one of the worst qualities I've personally experienced in my partner (or any partner for that matter) is the lack of progress. It's this lack of putting everything into bettering ourselves so that we can arise from the atrocities of lower self that forces me to be held back in turn.

I love my partner immensely, but during times of strife I see a circle of patterns repeating over and over again despite my attempts at change because he is not aware of the cycle. Or if he is aware of it, he's not doing everything he can to prevent it. Or if he is doing everything he can to prevent it, he hasn't reached the point where he finds success. After a year and a half of this, I have a hard time believing he's doing everything he can.

That is the only real quality that I wish my partner would not have. I spend hours before, during, and after an argument explaining the habits and the patterns only for him to hold onto the comforts of the lower, base self. I hope that he'll find the inspiration and correct pathways to really transcend this pattern, because it's exhausting.

[dream jo]

mostt inprtin 1 is perssntly it cotss it duz
plus sense of hummr
dnt caree wot tnyy lkok lk
its wots in sids partnr conts it duz

[ocean breeze]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

LOL.........how's this? turn offs: folks who only list turn offs but don't list any positive universal traits. Hahaha....ok, just kidding.

How about this? Turn Offs: Folks who aren't attentive enough to read the positive traits i listed on page one.

Just saying...I think your list is probably a bit harsh IMO regarding many folks who are serious or who consider politics, as it is so often dependent on circumstances for many, though not for all. Some are born jokers no matter what, but folks vary.

I don't care if it comes off as harsh. These things are turn offs for me. I'm not categorizing them as bad people or anything.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by ocean breeze

How about this? Turn Offs: Folks who aren't attentive enough to read the positive traits i listed on page one.

Hahaha Ok...I checked and I see you listed "strength and courage". Sounds good. IMO, if you don't deeply admire your partner as well as desire her, it is always a short-term approach. So listing these things is most helpful for us, so we know what's important. Based on this, IMO it sounds like weak and spineless will not be good for you in a partner.

I don't care if it comes off as harsh. These things are turn offs for me. I'm not categorizing them as bad people or anything.

I'll try it another way. Maybe it's best to reserve a bit of judgment about things that you can't really know or understand about others without getting to know them really well, like someone's true nature and character. Perhaps if they've got to know you a bit and got a drink in them, their sense of humour is a good as anyone's. I've seen it myself many times.

Or at least, perhaps consider saying less about it in public? So that you yourself don't come off as narrow-minded or superficial, which probably not at all your intent. Just food for thought, of course

Peace & blessings
7L

[ocean breeze]

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

I'll try it another way. Maybe it's best to reserve a bit of judgment about things that you can't really know or understand about others without getting to know them really well, like someone's true nature and character. Perhaps if they've got to know you a bit and got a drink in them, their sense of humour is a good as anyone's. I've seen it myself many times.

7L

I'm simply listing things that turn me off. I've yet to judge anyone's character. I'm not looking to date anyone on or offline so my post shouldn't really concern anyone. I'm too busy fulfilling my passions so its hard to really commit to anyone. And if a person is interested in me, its wiser to start off as friends before getting serious.

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

Or at least, perhaps consider saying less about it in public? So that you yourself don't come off as narrow-minded or superficial, which probably not at all your intent. Just food for thought, of course

Peace & blessings
7L

I'm pretty sure many wouldn't make such a judgement about me. How narrow-minded that would be of them. Its not something that concerns me though.

Originally Posted by 7luminaries

Based on this, IMO it sounds like weak and spineless will not be good for you in a partner.

I guess it depends on what is considered as weak and spineless. I wouldn't know what type of person would be good for me or i for them. I can only understand my preference. My likes and dislikes.

I know i've mentioned i don't care for one who is too serious but that doesn't mean that i don't want a person to take the relationship seriously. This time if i do get involved with someone i want them to take it seriously. No more games, no more lies.

[Aquamarine]

He loves me as I am, I can be who I am with him and I am loved.

[Lynn]

Hello

Having had only two men in my life as partners I can see the best and worst in what is out there to have and to hold.

First and foremost I so feel that for any relationship to work you have to be that individual being first and and then let someone in to complement that person you are. Too many times we search for someone to complete us and it that relationship fails we are lost in the mist of nothingness.

The best "trust, respect, boundaries".

The worst "isolation, abuse, control"

While I would not wish what I had in my first 33 years on anyone in a relationship for me it was part of that Soul Contract we seem to have when we come into this lifetime.

It was never founded on LOVe but on that power struggle of control and being kept under the thumb so low down that at times physical death would have been the only way out. Yet out of this I grew into whom I am today and I have whom I am with from the journey.

When you live controlled you do not see what life can be like, you bond to that persons needs and you go with them on their journey, from "H" and back many times, hoping each time they hit "rock bottom" change will come to them. It never does if they do not see their errors.

For me it brought forth three wonderful kids, it showed me places very few get to see or would ever want to see in life. It took me to the edge of death a few times and in the end gave me the power to break free.

What I have now is the rarest of connections that Mirror Twin Flame, that other half of the original seed that we were when our souls came to be. So connected that is the path was not understood it would drive most insane. So connected that we know the other's thoughts before words are spoken.

Both of us came from relationships of abuse, his childhood was that of abuse where mine witnessed it but was not a direct part of it in my family but relatives of the family line.

Lots of healing and lots of forgiving even the most horrific of events like being set a light at the age of 4. Forgiveness is the root of all healing but not to forgive and forget, to forgive and release that person to higher hands of Karma and Justice in the Universe.

What I have now is the that cup of coffee presented to me without expectations. That gentle and loving touch without it being forced upon me. There is a great difference in having sex and making LOVe. There is that place in intimacy where for that moment in time "two become one" in that moment of supreme and rare bliss.

It is said that timing is everything, two ships can pass in the night neither seeing the other. This too could have happened in my life, others saw us, but we did not see us. It too a life changing event to show us both LOVe and that place of freedom. Hitting rock bottom to rise from the ashes. Sadly many can not rise from this darkest of places.


The phrase "love conquers all" is derived from the following phrase in the Latin poet Virgil's Eclogues X.69: "Omnia vincit amor et nos cedamus amori." It means "love conquers all, let us all yield to love." The beginning of the phrase was subsequently translated as "love conquers all" by Geoffrey Chaucer, an English poet of the Middle Ages, and thereafter passed into popular usage.


Lynn

Originally Posted by Aquamarine

He loves me as I am, I can be who I am with him and I am loved.

And are you prepared to love him in the same way?
Are you ready / willing to make compromises?

I must admit if I asked a guy and he said "I want to be loved as I am, I can be
whom I am when with you and that you love me." I'd say on yer bike, matey,
because I think adaptation has to come from both sides.