Not sure where to go from here - advice needed

[twinkle77]

ok so my twin is blanking me after i wrote to him of my thoughts/feelings..the letter was very light and i just wished him well and he was ok at the time he read the letter and he offered me solid friendship twice..but now he is obviously upset, and he told me to leave it after i tried to apologise as i didn't know he wud get so upset..he knows that was not my intention!

anyway the last time we made eye contact he just looked me up and down and gave me a long stare..it was quit intimidating..

after that i thought i will never look at him again..and i haven;t...its been a whole month now even though we bump into each other a couple of times a week..i know he is looking/staring whichever way you want to look at it as he makes it so obvious and blatant but i am scared of looking at him now..and i am purposely not looking at him and i'm ignoring him..mainly because i want to give him space to calm down and if he wants nothing to do with me thats fine too..it's my fault for ruining a deeper committment for friendship/bond forming between us..i have never asked for anything more from him..

basically i am in a dilemma, i know i posted something similar a few weeks back but i want all you lovely folk to tell me what you would do in my situation..i just want to get along with him but we are obviously not in balance with each other right now but i can;t go on like this as i am hurting him and it hurts me..i am certain we are both feeling this turmoil right now..just need some guidance.

maybe i shud just say hi to him the next time i see him and see how he reacts??..that shud make it clear to me where to go..it will be the make or break time..i love him so much and all i want is the best for him and want him to be happy but he isn't understanding me right now..it makes me so sad.. ...thank you all..

just to say i received a literal/clear message from the universe telling me to let him go a few weeks ago...but how do i behave now..because the very last time i smiled at him he gave me that nasty stare! perhaps if i really let him go he will come back..maybe wait for communication from him? I have no clue!!

[hineahuone]

If he is angry with you then best stay right away and leave them to work through it. Work on yourself and loving and forgiving yourself and him for any perceived hurts.

[twinkle77]

Originally Posted by hineahuone

If he is angry with you then best stay right away and leave them to work through it. Work on yourself and loving and forgiving yourself and him for any perceived hurts.

hey dear friend - thank u for your advice..i am thinking the same..it just makes me feel sad for our situation as it is not in my nature to treat people in this way..i like to be friendly and peaceful..

my twin is the complete opposite to me in character so maybe thats where we are clashing in understanding each other right now..

i don't hate him or judge him because how can you do that to your twin right? I will just have to give him space...it is up to him now to break the silence between us... i tried twice to say sorry and he doesn't want to listen right now..so i have no option left but to leave him to it..i will love him from afar and keep being positive and keep wrking on myself..maybe this is the end for us..which is quite sad :o( it maybe for the best for my higher good.

[twinkle77]

also want to just wish all twin flames lots of strength at this time that i am feeling a bit down xx

I was reading another topic where this t/f idea was likened to BPD with a few members agreeing. It probably brought me closer to an understanding what's going on because it does seem that the t/fs can be fixated, obsessive and dangerously possessive. "Love" is claimed without ever questioning if it's desire or just the thrill of new romance, infatuation at best because people can't suddenly love someone whose behaviour they know nothing about. Love at first sight is an infatuation that goes on to become a deeper love as people have time to become acquainted and mesh together.

This might explain some behaviour - this obsessive belief that a t/f is vital when that tf keeps blowing hot and cold, returning when wanting company or sex or something. My response is "if that's what tf is then people can keep it." I simply couldn't cope with a bloke keep getting moody, buzzing off then later in a better mood, messaging me as if nothing had happened. Someone like that is no one I could love (or even desire). Any liking I might have initially had would quickly vaporise. It does seem a bit bpd and ocd.

So it'll come as no surprise if I say in your situation, ditch the bloke and get on with your life in a more "normal" way. Date just casually. You never know you might just meet someone you can just like and he'll like you, become friends and...well, you could be on a winner without all this claptrap.

When it comes to relationships a person you can count on, a friend, honest and reliable, someone who appreciates you as you; and you, him, you're into something more constant and happy-making than all this fraught anxiety and anguish.

Remember, this tf thing is just an idea being peddled under the most dubious of assumptions. Divine plans? Past lives? 5D - where is that? I mean, really? because none of this stuff is spiritual - certainly no more than any down-to-earth relationship that you can grow with. I've met a few people I (thought I) fell in love with instantly and there were soul connections but in the cold light of day I'd have been bluffing myself to keep them going.

Anyway those are my thoughts....

...

[ArchIndigo]

Maybe you're all looking at the perspective wrong; perhaps the twin who comes across as aggressive/upset/moody/distant is just trying to figure out how to bridge to you(speaking from my own experience; my sex/seducing eye look comes across as very intimidating and rude, which I didn't even notice at first).... Ever realize that perhaps you are a mystery/"gift" to your twin and they are just trying to figure it out... What if your twin is sexually frustrated and that's what is actually coming across... Especially if they are abstaining from sex for you...