Ascension

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Over the last week, I’ve read your words half a dozen times or so as there was a lot of quite profound things in there.

You need to get out more.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I tried that line of thinking fairly early on but no impact on the physical level.

To be honest I don't know what the answer to this one is, I think sometimes there are parts of us that aren't 'meant to be' healed because they're an integral part of who and what we are. Healing them would be like taking away a part of ourselves, a part of what brought us here.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I get that but sometimes a trauma to the physical body, no amount of positive or negative thinking and everything inbetween makes a difference. A medium once told me I’d got PTSD so I think the fact that I’ve got on top of the experience mentally and emotionally, as far as I’m aware of my own feelings about it, that’s significant progress. When I think of the first couple of years where I experienced episodes of overwhelming anger (still have a hole in the bedroom door that needs repairing!) I can see the progress I made. I’ve chipped away at it year after year with EFT, TAT, meditations, forgiveness, and many things and the intensity of it emotionally, isn’t there anymore but obviously the physical healing is yet to take place. I’ll keep trying, I’ll never give up on myself.

What a lot of people don't realise is that Life itself often gives you PTSD, usually it's only associated with being in a war zone but often Life itself is just that. Just when we think we've moved on all we've really done is buried it a little deeper, only for it to come back even stronger than before - and with sharper teeth. Sometimes the physical damage is simply too much.

I was a very angry young man after years of.... and it all started bubbling to the surface. It happened, I moved on but the latent effects were there just the same. When I think about it I was heading for prison until my friend started judo classes and got me to join, and that's what turned me around. There were times when I was downright reckless but most of the time I was with people who were far more experienced than me, and yes I was slapped around some but never gave up. One day the fight was gone, I just didn't have the stomach for it any more. One night I landed badly and hurt my hip, it was painful for a time but I got on with it. Now it's playing up and I put that down to that night so many years ago. And yeah I know how that sounds, hip replacement is for old guys.

It's all been a part of that Journey, the scars and other damages I have because I've been stupid but each one catalyses a memory and y'know, I've come to admire and Love that kid.

I have a friend who has PTSD from tours in Afghanistan, along with a metal plate in his head that resonates with a stone circle at Solstice. Seriously. He's gone all suicidal on his wife a couple of times, she'll buy a bottle of scotch and invite me over and we'll sit and talk of old times, comrades and the like. But it all comes down to the same phrase - without all of that happening Darren wouldn't be Darren, he'd be a different Darren.

No you won't give up on yourself, if you did you wouldn't be Patrycia, would you? That's the bigger picture.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

That really made me laugh. It’s pretty spot on as to how I feel on certain days.

It might be a silly thought but it might just be the right one on a day when you feel like that.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’m really trying to hold that in my mind.

Sometimes you've just gotta surrender to the inevitable, or find lots of patience.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

The overwhelming hunger is something else. I was only out mowing the lawn a few days ago and by the end of it I was shaking with hunger, so had a huge bowl of oats and yoghurt and then promptly ate another one! My guides tell me this is something to do with storing energy. I know I get particularly hungry immediately after a significant healing session.

I used to get that when I was doing rostrum work or having had a particularly heavy session but it was wine gums with me because of the sugar hit. Some days are more intense than others though and for the last few weeks I've been shoveling it down. I don't know where the energy is going but sometimes it feels as though I'm just pumping it into the surrounding area, it's probably something to do with the leyline that connects to the major European gridline.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I definitely feel the connection with my father, who’s saved me from a few close shaves whilst driving and the way he sends me songs on my MP3 player. I do feel connected to spirit in a good way; especially when I see words in my third eye in response to wondering about things generally, the numerology, blue flashes of light.

It#s that warm, fuzzy feeling. My father was killed just before I was born, and those who say that you can't miss what you've never had are talking out of their backsides. I know when he's around and for some reason he's never been far away recently. The Universe is echoing back at me in its own strange way too, so it's all OK - and that's all it needs to be.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

No, but then I don’t think I meant to. It occurred to me yesterday that this is an experience where I have to feel my way rather than think my way through it.

Do what feels best for you, personally. However, don't forget intuition rather than thinking and remember that you can put the puzzle together by feeling. It's also called Gnosis and that has a few definitions; one is knowing without knowing how you know and the other is experiential knowledge, which is knowledge gained through experience.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

That was a really helpful comparison. It's early days for me in managing emotionally the high and lows of the frequencies. It's a little early to call it a pattern as something slightly different happens each time in the healing but the deep heat in the body and the hunger happen immediately after a significant healing session and then both ease off back to normal after about 10 days. Also, I don’t get prompted to use crystals until about four days after. I had thought that last time I used crystals with the kundalini/my healing energy, I was energising the crystals, so when I used them after the four days, maybe they were reflecting back a little of that original energy.

The other curious thing I've noticed is that when I get the deep heat at night, I wake up and notice the time, it's always 11.11, 12.21, 12.34 etc, a significant number, and then about 15 seconds later, I get the deep heat for a minute or two and then go back to sleep before the next one. Usually after a significant healing, it happens up to six times a night.

And the rather extraordinary thing in Matt's book, which I’m getting through slowly, only due to time constraints, there’s several pages which describe his life and experiences, communicating with guides - I’m finding that the most interesting thing – but many of the words and phrases he uses to describe his experiences are the same words I’ve been using of late. At one point it was like having my own experience reflected back to me.

Sometimes it's best just to allow things to happen as they will, but I think there seems to be a pattern with you but with variations on a theme if you like. It probably depends on what's being healed and how. One of the things that could be happening is you're adjusting to the healing energies, and obviously as you heal your perceptions will change. If you're emotionally highly strung that would contribute to how you perceive them as well. If you're trying to manage your emotions you might well be fighting a losing battle if not hindering the healing, emotions are energy in motion and if they're not in tune with the healing energies then that might not help. Yeah I know, the last thing you need is a session of tears or anger but sometimes it's best to contain it rather than fight against it and let it all go when you're in a position to. Sometimes what's needed is a pressure release valve.

Crystals can have an energy of their own and you yourself imprint energy onto them as you use them so they end up with a bit of a mix. It's not so much a 'store' of energy but more of a reference point if you like, and when your own energies have been flying off the charts and into orbit sometimes you need an energetic reference point to return to. It's kind of a safety, comfort thing.

Have you ever thought about naming your crystals? I've always liked 'Charakis' is a great name for a crystal.

It's really cool when the Universe reflects back at you, whether it's the clock or Matt's book but it's all shades of the same thing. Someone once told me that Old Souls don't integrate as well into this dimension as well as other Souls, I'd never thought about it before that but it's very true. There was always a feeling of being at odds so it's really soothing to find the Universe reflecting back finally.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’ve been doing this in the last few days; care of the technique in the book about ‘whatever arises/love that’. We’ll see what happens with it. Acceptance seems to be a new word in my thinking.


For the moment, the deep heat and hunger have settled and I've a feeling I'm going to get the call to hold another healing session this weekend.

Thank you Mr G for your support and wise words.

Yeah, whatever arises Love that - including what's left after the trauma to the physical body. If you don't Love and accept every part of you - warts and all - what then? If the Universe is reflecting so much back at you, doesn't that tell you that it's OK with you being the way you are regardless?

Again the question, what are you trying to heal and what are the reasons? And no, it's not obvious.

Take it as it comes Patryicia, and remember that the Universe has your back either way. Love your emotions too because they are a part of you, and often the reason we feel them so intensely is that they're the children seeking attention.

You're always welcome, Patrycia.

[Patrycia-Rose]

[quote=Greenslade]You need to get out more.

A colleague said the same thing to me when I was telling him how much I enjoy painting and decorating and that I was contemplating my next painting project!

I have a friend who has PTSD from tours in Afghanistan, along with a metal plate in his head that resonates with a stone circle at Solstice.

That sounds fascinating. Does he dowse? He might be able to get some fascinating information between his dowsing, the metal plate and the stone circle.

Sometimes it's best just to allow things to happen as they will, but I think there seems to be a pattern with you but with variations on a theme if you like.

If there is a pattern, I’m not sure what it is – maybe too close to it to understand fully what’s going on. But I am letting it happen, without my mind interfering too much. Letting it happen is quite a new thing for me.

It's not so much a 'store' of energy but more of a reference point if you like, and when your own energies have been flying off the charts and into orbit sometimes you need an energetic reference point to return to. It's kind of a safety, comfort thing.

I do feel a sense of comfort and security when I get the message to use my snow quartz in particular. But the other evening – and I had to check this a couple of times to ensure I’d got the message correctly – I was urged to use one snow quartz sphere in one hand and a black tourmaline sphere in the other. My immediate thought was I’d never mixed crystals before – but also, here we go again – black and white! It was just for one evening. I was told that the tourmaline is for regulating my emotions.

Have you ever thought about naming your crystals? I've always liked 'Charakis' is a great name for a crystal.

I’ve not considered naming crystals before.

Someone once told me that Old Souls don't integrate as well into this dimension as well as other Souls,

.

Yes, I’ve heard that before from Dolores Canon.

Yeah, whatever arises Love that - including what's left after the trauma to the physical body.

Now, I’m working my way through that sweetie shop! I’ve watched eleven of Matt’s videos. There seems to be one or two phrases that leap out in each video, new techniques to try, new ways of looking at things. I’m beginning to notice consistent themes. When you’ve been accumulating spiritual knowledge / information over the years, you can only go with what resonates with you. Now one of the things that has never made any logical sense to me is LoA. I’ve watched many videos, read a few books and whilst I understand the concept, it still didn’t seem logical to me. Well, in one of Matt’s earlier videos I heard him saying something that LoA was trash. As I was painting whilst I was listening to him, I’d thought I’d misheard, tried to find it in the video but couldn’t. So in the video The Heart of Ascension, about 28 minutes or so in, he said it again, referring to it as “spiritual garbage”. I almost leapt of my chair at this point, immediately took a note of which video, what time and replayed it about half a dozen times. For me, personally, this was so liberating. So, I feel as though I’m taking a crash course in modern teachings from this man; very willing to let go of the old paradigm and embrace the new. I’m learning so much from him and I don’t believe it’s a coincidence when I’m also going through these physical changes. I feel my mind is expanding, to take on board this new information, new way of looking at things, whilst releasing things that I was never too sure of without knowing why I wasn’t too sure. But also, there are things he’s referred to and I think, yes I’ve always thought that, that’s what I do. So affirming.

Last few days I’ve been seeing a white star and during the night I’ve been seeing the white star with a gold outline and the white star is being replaced slowly with gold. At one time my mind would be working overtime to figure out what this means. But now I’m just letting it unfold because, like Matt says, I am where I’m supposed to be and I feel this is supported by the fact that this has been going on for over a year now.

During the week I had mild anxiety, a tightness in the chest but then I noticed that at times my heart was thumping hard. I then saw the message that my heart on an energetic level was expanding. A quick google revealed this is quite common symptom in ascension.

Again the question, what are you trying to heal and what are the reasons? And no, it's not obvious.

Now, I’ve thought about this and how to respond, given as you say, you’ve asked before.

I’m trying to heal two physical symptoms related to the trauma I went through. The reason is because I want to be completely well again. But on a deeper level, if I’d sustained the injuries because I’d helped someone, like helping someone out of a burning building or a car crash, I would feel differently about the physical trauma injuries, like it was worth it. But I don’t feel that way because at the end of the day, the symptoms weren’t necessary. What I mean by that, is if I had listened to my gut instincts and acted on them, the whole situation would not have occurred. But I was pushed into a place of absolute terror by the people around me, even if it was from good intentions, so that my own voice wasn’t loud enough, I didn’t have conviction in my own thoughts and beliefs and went along with what happened because I thought that was the right thing to do, because I thought others knew best. And they didn’t. So I’ve had a lot of forgiving to do, to them for getting it wrong and for me, because I didn’t listen to myself. So those physical symptoms are a reminder that I got it wrong for myself and I have to live with that every day (that’s making me cry now!)

I’m off for a run ......

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

A colleague said the same thing to me when I was telling him how much I enjoy painting and decorating and that I was contemplating my next painting project!

Perhaps you could decorate a charity's offices or an old folks' home, express yourself outside of your own four walls.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

That sounds fascinating. Does he dowse? He might be able to get some fascinating information between his dowsing, the metal plate and the stone circle.

Let's just say I'd enjoy the exploration but his brain can't process it, part of that is fear of what he can't control directly and another part is a tad egoic. He is clairvoyant and when he allows himself to he can see very clearly but he's not sure of what to make of it all.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

If there is a pattern, I’m not sure what it is – maybe too close to it to understand fully what’s going on. But I am letting it happen, without my mind interfering too much. Letting it happen is quite a new thing for me.

There's always a pattern of some kind and it's always going somewhere, most often not in a way we'd call 'logical'. Sometimes there's a Spiritual Logic and mind logic and never the twain shall meet. Sometimes though, logic is quite flexible if you want it to be, even Mr Spock saw the sense in human logic even though he said they were illogical. Logic might dictate that unless you can affect it it's going to happen regardless, and how it happens depends on your choice of how you want to experience it. And sometimes it takes control to relinquish control.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I do feel a sense of comfort and security when I get the message to use my snow quartz in particular. But the other evening – and I had to check this a couple of times to ensure I’d got the message correctly – I was urged to use one snow quartz sphere in one hand and a black tourmaline sphere in the other. My immediate thought was I’d never mixed crystals before – but also, here we go again – black and white! It was just for one evening. I was told that the tourmaline is for regulating my emotions.

Very often there's a sense of security when things come through from 'up there'. I hadn't heard from 'the kids' (the Spirit ones) in a while and last night I had to sit through Top Gun again!! But it was nice just to know they're around and that I can feel them again.

Yep, black and white - which the Universe isn't; and your immediate thought being that you couldn't mix them. Sometimes things like this tells us a lot about ourselves and how we think - and the reasons we think it. So while you're doing some mind-centred stuff your emotions are firing themselves up to the stage where they need regulating. Black and white. Of course you did know that anger is an energy, as are all emotions.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’ve not considered naming crystals before.

Sometimes crystals have more potency if we can tune into them better, naming crystals can sound a bit silly at first until you realise how differently you think of them because of it. Crystals are very much tuned to our consciousness, if they are a part of you or an extension of you they'll have so much more effect than if they're not much more than an old screwdriver. They are energetically intimate with us.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Yes, I’ve heard that before from Dolores Canon.

Which for me about explains it all, always having felt I'm in this world but not of it.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Now, I’m working my way through that sweetie shop! I’ve watched eleven of Matt’s videos. There seems to be one or two phrases that leap out in each video, new techniques to try, new ways of looking at things. I’m beginning to notice consistent themes. When you’ve been accumulating spiritual knowledge / information over the years, you can only go with what resonates with you. Now one of the things that has never made any logical sense to me is LoA. I’ve watched many videos, read a few books and whilst I understand the concept, it still didn’t seem logical to me. Well, in one of Matt’s earlier videos I heard him saying something that LoA was trash. As I was painting whilst I was listening to him, I’d thought I’d misheard, tried to find it in the video but couldn’t. So in the video The Heart of Ascension, about 28 minutes or so in, he said it again, referring to it as “spiritual garbage”. I almost leapt of my chair at this point, immediately took a note of which video, what time and replayed it about half a dozen times. For me, personally, this was so liberating. So, I feel as though I’m taking a crash course in modern teachings from this man; very willing to let go of the old paradigm and embrace the new. I’m learning so much from him and I don’t believe it’s a coincidence when I’m also going through these physical changes. I feel my mind is expanding, to take on board this new information, new way of looking at things, whilst releasing things that I was never too sure of without knowing why I wasn’t too sure. But also, there are things he’s referred to and I think, yes I’ve always thought that, that’s what I do. So affirming.

Last few days I’ve been seeing a white star and during the night I’ve been seeing the white star with a gold outline and the white star is being replaced slowly with gold. At one time my mind would be working overtime to figure out what this means. But now I’m just letting it unfold because, like Matt says, I am where I’m supposed to be and I feel this is supported by the fact that this has been going on for over a year now.

During the week I had mild anxiety, a tightness in the chest but then I noticed that at times my heart was thumping hard. I then saw the message that my heart on an energetic level was expanding. A quick google revealed this is quite common symptom in ascension.

I have to admit, it scares me the way some people talk in these forums. It's the Spiritual equivalent of a terrorist on the loose and they're in MY Universe. Many of the YouTubes and the like have been very much geared to a target audience that sucks that kind of stuff up about LoA and the like. One of the reasons I like Matt is that he's down to earth and tells it like it is, and quite frankly there are so many myths in Spirituality these days.

Something that I picked up on a while ago is the concept of constructive and non-constructive beliefs. Basically, constructive beliefs stand the challenge while non-constructive beliefs only survive because people put them in a glass box to protect them. Like LoA; it's a trendy subject and if you do the rituals you'll get your heart's desires. However, there's no thought of Karmic Obligations/Life's Purpose and how it might clash with that, and we don't know what we really need never mind be able to tell the difference between need and want. In that context LoA becomes non-constructive or Spiritual garbage. Of course not to mention that if you're trying to attract something it means your core frequencies are vibrating at the frequencies of lacking, and that's what you'll attract. Yeah, it is counter-intuitive but that's the way it is when you think about it the right way.

LoA does work but it takes understanding beyond mere desire - what you're writing about here is a form of LoA. Simply, like attracts like and your frequencies are resonating at the same level as Matt's material, no it's not coincidence it's synchronicity - which one of his vids told you was going to happen in your Ascension. If your frequencies weren't compatible with the material you simply wouldn't make sense of it or it wouldn't resonate with you - you don't/can't attract frequencies that are dissonant with your own. With you though I think it's much more than resonating with the material, it's the difference between understanding it and being the material if that makes sense.

The white star is you, as corny as it often sounds it's quite true and our bodies have elements that are only found in stars and are not native to this earth. The gold colour represents the highest degree of existence, the highest form a being can exist as whatever your concept of that is. It being the outline means you are being protected and that you are 'blending' with the highest form of existence, kind of. It's hard to explain short of quite a long tale. It's going back to what I said early on in the conversation about you becoming more 'yourself' although you were never anyone else really.

Again your black and white, I think you're more of a thinking/logical kind of person but the Spirituality you're coming into is more heart-centred and emotional. By the way, did you know that the heart sends more signals to the brain than vice versa and it has its own neural pathways much like the brain?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Now, I’ve thought about this and how to respond, given as you say, you’ve asked before.

I’m trying to heal two physical symptoms related to the trauma I went through. The reason is because I want to be completely well again. But on a deeper level, if I’d sustained the injuries because I’d helped someone, like helping someone out of a burning building or a car crash, I would feel differently about the physical trauma injuries, like it was worth it. But I don’t feel that way because at the end of the day, the symptoms weren’t necessary. What I mean by that, is if I had listened to my gut instincts and acted on them, the whole situation would not have occurred. But I was pushed into a place of absolute terror by the people around me, even if it was from good intentions, so that my own voice wasn’t loud enough, I didn’t have conviction in my own thoughts and beliefs and went along with what happened because I thought that was the right thing to do, because I thought others knew best. And they didn’t. So I’ve had a lot of forgiving to do, to them for getting it wrong and for me, because I didn’t listen to myself. So those physical symptoms are a reminder that I got it wrong for myself and I have to live with that every day (that’s making me cry now!)

I’m off for a run ......

OK, I'm going to be as matter-of-fact with this as possible because it's obviously quite a sore point point with you and the last thing I'd want to do is keep prodding at your wounds, but at the same time it needs to be addressed by the look of it. And thank you for sharing.

In the present our perceptions of the past create our future, and this is where you are now. The physical symptoms are symptoms but not the real dis-ease, so while you're trying to heal the physical trauma that isn't the root cause. The root cause is your perceptions of what happened, and you have quite a list. Perhaps at a deeper level you might well have felt differently if they'd been 'worth it', but at a deeper level still is how you feel about yourself. You didn't listen to yourself so does that make you angry with yourself, make you feel stupid somehow or make you think that you were naive?

Give yourself permission to be angry, to be emotional, to be...... anything that comes from it. You are where you are supposed to be at any given moment, doing what you need to do.

Sometimes we have to keep going that little bit deeper even though it hurts, even though there are dark places within ourselves that we hope will never see the light of day. But if we don't get to the root cause, if those places never see the light they'll always be there and yes, we will have to Live with them every day because that's the choice we've made. How you feel and what you feel are part of the process, Matt would probably tell you to write yourself a permission slip if you haven't already come across that one. Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you're going to feel and don't hold back. If you feel like an idiot for not listening to yourself by all means chastise yourself but move on, let the tears flow if they want to come. Keeping it all inside is just creating stagnant energy and is counter-productive to what you're trying to do.

What we also have to think about is did our "getting it wrong" not play a part in taking us to where we are now? Because sometimes we go through something that could be construed as a mistake but that 'mistake' was the catalyst for change, for that part inside of us that is determined not to be so stupid the next time. I very much doubt you'll make the same mistakes again so you've come out of it a stronger, wiser person.

One of the hardest things I ever did was watch my daughter going through the pain of having her own experiences, but it was the wisest thing I ever did because she grew up to be the person she needed to be. Yes she had some epic 'fails' but she took them on the chin and moved on, and often together we put her back together again. What she did though was that she learned how to learn, she didn't learn how to have hang-ups, regrets and the like. She learned how to forgive herself and be strong.

Your physical symptoms can also be a reminder that you need top forgive yourself and that you need to learn to Love yourself unconditionally. That is the finest and strongest healing you will ever do.

[jro5139]

Originally Posted by shivatar

I've gone though multiple ascensions.

The states that I was in before ascension (using my current hindsight) are as equally awesome as my current state.

Who we are remains the same before and after. Which parts are illuminated and concealed changes. Who we are never changes.

In my personal experience, I was experiencing much more happiness and joy before ascension. There was a huge wave of bliss for a year or 2 during my transformation. But now that the bliss is gone there is a lot of peace and not much excitement, fear, unknown, etc.



I just wanted to say that ascension isn't necessarily good, divine, light, right. For some people ascension means a lot of pain. A LOT. And what's the point of that pain anyways? So they can go around touting how great new age beliefs and practices are? so they can be freed from their childhood traumas? Is it even possible to be freed from such things?

Suit yourself. My opinion is things are not better or worse, simply different. As much of me likes the new, an equal part wants what I had.

I think that after the initial phase of Ascension, particularly for those of us going through it early, there can be a let down. I think this is at least, partly due to the fact that the rest of the world has yet to catch up. We can go through all the change and Ascension we can, but ultimately, at this point, we still have to exist and integrate back into the world (which is by and large, still messed up and corrupted). And that is the hard part.
I know that directly after I went through the big bulk of it, I kept thinking "ok things are going to change now" and yet, outwardly, nothing much really changed. But things are changing for me, I am in a real transition phase, which is hard within itself. I do think that, for the world, things will change, it's just a process that takes time. But in the meantime, for those of us that have already began the process of Ascension, it can be difficult to stick with it.
But, do you really feel that pain has no purpose? Currently, it's how the human grows and learns. It doesn't have to be that way forever, we can reach a point of growing and learning without including pain, but that is how it works currently. And I totally believe it is possible to overcome trauma, from childhood and otherwise, it's not easy and it takes courage and strength, but it can be done. I have overcome a lot of trauma myself.

Also, I think a lot of people think that Ascension is a new age concept, or just new age. I disagree, I have been learning about Tibetan Buddhism and the rainbow body and I feel that it is the same thing. It can also be traced back to the Egyptian weighing of the heart ceremony after death, in which the heart is weighed against a feather, and if your heart is lighter than the feather, you are considered ready to move on to the next phase.

Patricia, I haven't read through every post here, but skimming through some things that jumped out at me. Some other things I remembered about going through Ascension... the hunger, I remember being hungry a lot and eating a lot. I also remember my body feeling lighter, and reality seeming to become less dense. At times, it felt like my soul was dis-jointed from my body.
Also, the old soul thing. I am definitely an old soul and I have all the problems of an old soul. Including as you mentioned, feeling like wanting to be done with this reality. It's not a suicidal feeling, as I do not want to die and be gone, just not wanting to be here, wanting to move on to something better. I don't necessarily think this is a bad thing, our world is corrupt and there is nothing healthy about wanting to fit in with a corrupt world.

[Patrycia-Rose]

Thank you for jro and Mr G.

Since last Sunday, I’ve had a turnaround which is still working its way through my system.

Last week’s postings really brought it home to me how much the trauma and the experience of it were still affecting me and it seem to create an intensity of feeling that magnified with every passing hour. I had unsettled dreams and woke the following day with stomach pains. But I knew this wasn’t related to food etc, this was energetic pain due to the upset. So I went to work feeling low and in pain. On my lunch time walk it occurred to me that I was looking for some words that would enable me to view the trauma and the experience in a way that made me feel comfortable with it and that resonated at a soul level. As I was thinking this, a small white feather dropped onto the road right in front of me, so that I picked it up. I also thought that I just know that something Matt says will deliver that transition. So that evening, I flicked through all the videos he’s done looking for something which seemed appropriate and found The Way of Radical Acceptance. I thought that sounded the ticket.

The first thing that struck me that he was moving away from the very old school thinking of working on “I accept” when obviously you didn’t accept it seeing as you were trying to force yourself to accept whatever it was that you’re working on. He said to try this instead, “it’s OK that I’m feeling sad, angry, it’s OK that I don’t like ....” That instantly felt better so I tried “it’s OK that I don’t know how to heal myself.” So far so good. Then three things came fairly quickly, building up to the ‘ah ha’ moment for me. First he said, “what is the choice that you keep avoiding that would free you from the need to accept anything at all?” “What are the choices within my reach that can rectify this.” And then this....... “stop holding yourself hostage and waiting for some impressive future reality to be the ransom that liberates you.”

At that point, I stopped and went into the kitchen to prepare my evening meal with all that spinning around my head and I asked myself those questions and it occurred to me, and this thought hasn’t ever struck me in 11 years .... ‘what if I lay down arms, stop the fight and just live my life’. First thing I noticed was my whole body seemed to relax and the relief that swept through me was overwhelming. Thinking about what Matt was saying about noticing how the body feels in response to decision, I thought that’s got to be the right decision. I had a blissful night’s sleep and no stomach pain the next morning.

I wondered if I would try and change my mind and wondered what my morning cards would say, to either confirm or not if I’d made the right choice. There was no doubt that I’d made the right decision with ‘Love Begins’ and just to confirm it ‘Make a Commitment’ which I knew instantly, was to commit to that decision. Since then, I feel more relaxed, peaceful and at ease.

I’m continuing with watching one video every few days and I am learning so much. Casting aside old spiritual viewpoints that I never got in the first place and thought that I was lacking something not to understand. The power of now – is a book that I just never got. LoA too. As well as quite a few things he’s said, that I have done and do feel – that’s great to know.

My shelves are full of books that were interesting but either didn’t mean much or I didn’t agree with, some of them untouched. I’ve seen many different spiritual videos on YouTube which again, I didn’t get, didn’t resonate, for me I’ve always for AH deeply patronising. But with Matt, I understand what he’s saying, I love the way he uses humour to drive the message home (been crying with laughter sometimes) and what he says satisfies my logical mind. The highlight of my day right now is to have my evening meal and watch one of his teachings. And I’m putting into practice the techniques and way of thinking of things – and it’s working. I’m actually beginning to feel mildly enthusiastic about the future which is a big departure from the feeling of being ready to go!

And Mr G, I can’t thank you enough for bringing him to my attention – if it wasn’t for your suggestion I’d still be floundering in the dark, not even knowing that I was in the dark. So thank you a million times over!

Originally Posted by jro5139

we still have to exist and integrate back into the world (which is by and large, still messed up and corrupted). And that is the hard part.

We don't 'have to', we made the choice as Spirit and when you let go of 'have to' everything changes - it creates the space for the realisation of the reasons you made the choice.

You are 'infectious'; you have an energetic torsion field that radiates energy outwards, you have an aura that glows and every time your heart beats it sends out a 360-degree pulse into the Universe. Everyone is an antenna, sending and receiving those heart signals - we are carbon-based Life forms and consciousness imprints water. All of those are known, actual scientific facts and none of it is theory.

We all need Hope, but Hope needs someone to carry it. And it has to begin somewhere, otherwise it doesn't. The only question you have to ask yourself is what will you send out into the Universe?

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

The first thing that struck me that he was moving away from the very old school thinking of working on “I accept” when obviously you didn’t accept it seeing as you were trying to force yourself to accept whatever it was that you’re working on. He said to try this instead, “it’s OK that I’m feeling sad, angry, it’s OK that I don’t like ....” That instantly felt better so I tried “it’s OK that I don’t know how to heal myself.” So far so good. Then three things came fairly quickly, building up to the ‘ah ha’ moment for me. First he said, “what is the choice that you keep avoiding that would free you from the need to accept anything at all?” “What are the choices within my reach that can rectify this.” And then this....... “stop holding yourself hostage and waiting for some impressive future reality to be the ransom that liberates you.”

It's been said that every religion was right for that people at that time - at that time. You could probably say the same about New Age Spirituality, in that it came at a time when people wanted a release from the 'oppression' of old schools of thought. What it did though is turn Spirituality into trendiness in the way the Beatles adopted their own gurus and started the craze. New Age Spirituality is coming apart at the seams, time for the trailblazers to do their thing.

By the way, have you looked up the symbolism of the white feather? Basically it's purity and angelic 'contact' - the angels said "Hello, we're here for you."

Being OK is probably one of the most freeing things you will ever experience in Spirituality, sometimes it's been given some 'bad press' but that's not the case at all. Being OK with things means you allow their existence without conflict - which is what the Universe does. The Universe is OK with you being OK with yourself if that's how you want to experience your existence, it's just as OK with you being not OK at all with yourself too. It allows you to exercise your Free Will. If the Universe is OK with you not being OK with yourself, why can't you be?

Only you can liberate you. So just when you thought you were safe in your Matt Khan vids - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpeLFJsxnlg

Energy flows where the attention goes, so if all the attention is on the fight? Not only is the energy flowing towards the conflict and creating a critical mass (the more you fight the more there is to fight against) but you're not creating the space for something else to come through. If you are trying to heal something, what is it that you're trying to heal and what are the reasons? So now you've experienced the relationship with your body and your choices - "what if I lay down my arms" - what does that say about the physical healing you've been struggling to do?

I tend to go for nutshells, so the power of Now in a nutshell? In Tolle's own (close to anyway) words - the past is memory, the future is anticipation and the Now is where we exist. Think about it. What happened in the past is a memory and you don't actually exist 'back then', all you can actually experience is now. The events, the reality, the experience of 'back then' has gone. As for the future, it's what we'd like to do sometime in the future, where we see ourselves etc. In June I want quad biking in the Highlands National Park but in the Now I'm tapping away on the keyboard. Mrs G has booked next year's trip but guess what? I'm still tapping on this keyboard. Last year's trip is memory, next year's is anticipation but right now there's keyboard.

Living in the Now is very pertinent for you because when you understand that you'll understand your healing process even more. The past is memory, that's the key phrase there.

LoA is about your vibrations, which is what's happening to you with your synchronicities. You're more in tune with the Universe so the Universe is more in tune with you and what you attract is your various messages. You have loads of books that didn't resonate with you but now when you need it the most you have attracted Matt's material, which resonates with you. Before recently you were at odds with yourself, you probably had aspects of yourself you didn't like very much so your vibrations were all over the place - hence the books that weren't much use to you. The material didn't harmonise/resonate with you because you didn't harmonise with yourself.

Every new beginning starts with some other new beginning's end, and here you are. There's definitely a new beginning feel to your post, which is really good news and I think it'll give you what you need to heal on another level. I don't think the process is quite finished with you yet but it's certainly taken an interesting turn and you'll be more comfortable with yourself. And the Universe is a reflection of you.

You were never in the dark, you weren't quite ready is all. But you're very welcome a million times over.

[jro5139]

Originally Posted by Greenslade

We don't 'have to', we made the choice as Spirit and when you let go of 'have to' everything changes - it creates the space for the realisation of the reasons you made the choice.

You are 'infectious'; you have an energetic torsion field that radiates energy outwards, you have an aura that glows and every time your heart beats it sends out a 360-degree pulse into the Universe. Everyone is an antenna, sending and receiving those heart signals - we are carbon-based Life forms and consciousness imprints water. All of those are known, actual scientific facts and none of it is theory.

We all need Hope, but Hope needs someone to carry it. And it has to begin somewhere, otherwise it doesn't. The only question you have to ask yourself is what will you send out into the Universe?

Yeah I realize the reasons I made the choice, it's just keeping that in mind and not getting caught up in the moment when stuff doesn't work out that is something I had to learn to do. It's about keeping the big picture in mind, and all the stuff I have been learning lately helps me to do that, but still, getting through these transitions phases can still be trying.
I went through a phase were I tried to cut "have to" out of my vocabulary, instead I would say "I am choosing to because" and I would list all the reasons why I was choosing to do whatever it was that I really didn't want to do... what I found though was, it just ended up being a circular conversation that led me back to square one anyway.

I would agree that religions or spiritual paths exists for the people that need that particular message at the time, however, that being said... I think the loa is just too simplified, at least for me. It doesn't account for some things, like our life path, our highest path, soul contracts and karma. These things can all play into what happens, especially as our souls gain more and more lives and become older.

Patricia, I love Matt Khan, he is one of my favorites and one I still listen to...there are a few that I listened to for a while, and then, I sort of got bored with their messages.

[youngnostic]

I once asked a Christian Mystic lady why we suffer so much: she said "it's to prepare us for our [Energy]--or as she put it: Glorified--Body."
it makes sense... if you're going through physical changes after pursuing Spiritual Growth then it's very likely that Ascension for you means evolving in Consciousness to the point where you disidentify with the world of Form and your body and reunite with your I AM Presence and no longer need to be in a physical body.
(Please note: I am simply sharing this because of what you've described in the post)
I believe if we balance and harmonize ourselves there is absolutely no reason why some of us who are ready can't "Ascend" to the Spiritual/Ascended Realm and leave this Matrix of a world with our temporary bodies.
I also thank you for sharing this because it gives me hope since "Ascending" has been a longing of mine as well and I've been doing everything I could to become as least worldly as possible and the most spiritually minded mentally free as I could so that I could be confident when I die and lately it's been dawning on me that I should work on ascending and not just make sure that I am bold and confident with my self once I leave this world.

Originally Posted by jro5139

Yeah I realize the reasons I made the choice, it's just keeping that in mind and not getting caught up in the moment when stuff doesn't work out that is something I had to learn to do. It's about keeping the big picture in mind, and all the stuff I have been learning lately helps me to do that, but still, getting through these transitions phases can still be trying.
I went through a phase were I tried to cut "have to" out of my vocabulary, instead I would say "I am choosing to because" and I would list all the reasons why I was choosing to do whatever it was that I really didn't want to do... what I found though was, it just ended up being a circular conversation that led me back to square one anyway.

I would agree that religions or spiritual paths exists for the people that need that particular message at the time, however, that being said... I think the loa is just too simplified, at least for me. It doesn't account for some things, like our life path, our highest path, soul contracts and karma. These things can all play into what happens, especially as our souls gain more and more lives and become older.

Patricia, I love Matt Khan, he is one of my favorites and one I still listen to...there are a few that I listened to for a while, and then, I sort of got bored with their messages.

Does stuff not work out or does stuff work the way it needs to work out rather than how you think it should? If you could go back in time to when you were a kid and you could sit with yourself, what would you say about you being Spiritual? I couldn't even begin to tell my younger self anything that would be remotely understood. Heck, I'd have trouble with the human stuff. "Well kiddo, they've got these things called computers and the internet. And by the way, your Higher Self..." Not gonna happen. If I popped my clogs and came back to talk to myself today????

We're going to 'get there' either because of ourselves or despite ourselves. if we'd only listen to our 'Spiritual self' it would tell us we already are 'there'.

They're only circular conversations if you think they are but they can just as easily be spiral. You're not back at square one because you've come to the realisation that it's a circular conversation so that puts you on square two. Square three is not having one, square four is understanding what's going on and square five is working out what's next.

LoA is quite simple, the 'problem' with LoA isn't the Spirituality but the mentality. People think that it's just about their heart's desire but do they really understand what that is? many seem to think it's there for their benefit, which it is but just not the way they think it is. "God made man, man made religion" and the same can be said for Spirituality. Spirituality is mostly based on the mindset that creates the belief and when you understand the mindset within the culture it makes sense. Little has changed.