Imaginary Friends? Schizophrenia? Telepathy?

Originally Posted by Internal Queries

oh i'm exploring my mind, that's fer sure. the problem is ... i have company in my explorations and "within myself" includes at least 2 other teachers. i find the phenom interesting, comforting and disturbing.

maybe your daughter is a talented psychic who is being overwhelmed by stronger male contacts thus the gender identity transposition. maybe that's what schizophrenia really is. an overwhelming of a mind by other minds. that would drive anyone crazy if they didn't understand what was going on. my mind is quite analytical. i'm a pretty logical person and i don't exactly "feel" crazy but there isn't any normal social construct into which i can place my experiences and that makes me feel isolated and abnormal. i've become a hermit because ... well ... i can kinda feel/hear what other folks are feeling and thinking and the minds of most of my fellow humans are exceedingly boring or chaotic or just plain nasty. if your daughter is being bombarded by the minds and emotions of others and she has no natural defenses it would go a long in explaining her condition. just a thought.

very possible. i myself have gone through a period of time, 6 years actually where i became a hermit for some of the same reasons you are, what is highlighted in red. these days i understand a bit more and feel much more at ease. still learning and loving it, the mind is a fantastic place to explore.

[John32241]

Originally Posted by Internal Queries

hmmm. well, John, truth be told i'm not sure what's going on in my head. these friends of mine sure seem real enough during contact but crazy people "hear voices" and i don't want to be a crazy person. they and i have discussed the suspension of disbelief before. it's not like i haven't questioned them about their actuality. last night when i told them about the replies i got on this message board one tched his annoyance and the other laughed that i would take the word of "amateurs". (his descriptive not mine). they agreed between themselves that they weren't going anywhere since they have so much invested in our relationship and the work we're doing is too important to drop just because i'm feeling insecure.

ya know ... every now and then there is no conversation. we become something that feels like "holiness". "holiness" always seemed like the ultimate ego trip to me but when it happens there's no ego involved. beautiful.

i just wish i knew what's going on here. i wish there was some way to confirm that i'm not crazy. my friends say we'll meet in our bodies some day and i'll understand, that there are others like us and we're all working on "something wonderful". i'm not sure which is more frightening. the implication that i'm truly insane or that i'm involved in some far reaching psychic endeavor. my friends say not to worry, that it's just evolution. easy for them to say. after all, they know whether or not they're real. i do not.

Since I am physically involved in that "far reaching psychic endeavor" I can say that it is far More Frightening than just being crazy. That is because crazy does not have Far Reaching Implications, and this effort does.

May I ask you to look over my web site at the link in my signature. The feelings you get from that material will either be encouraging or they will turn you off. You can then determine how best to proceed with these concerns that you have.

Know that any choice that you make after this type of reflection will be supported by "your friends".

Blessings,
John

[Internal Queries]

Originally Posted by John32241

Since I am physically involved in that "far reaching psychic endeavor" I can say that it is far More Frightening than just being crazy. That is because crazy does not have Far Reaching Implications, and this effort does.

May I ask you to look over my web site at the link in my signature. The feelings you get from that material will either be encouraging or they will turn you off. You can then determine how best to proceed with these concerns that you have.

Know that any choice that you make after this type of reflection will be supported by "your friends".

Blessings,
John

okay, John. i've bookmarked your site. looks very interesting. i'll give it a thorough read when i have time. right now i have external chores to do. thank you for your insights, though your assessment of the "Far Reaching Implications" caused a hackle raising/ tingly fear reaction. lol

i haven't talked to my imaginary friends yet today. they're probably busy with external things too.

[Lazarus72]

Hi IQ,

I can relate to what you are saying here in a big way. I have had similar experiences and share these feelings of doubt you describe edit-following a deep meditation session-. My experience although perhaps less pronounced is along similar lines. It is as if someone or something is attempting to contact me. My first experience was that of a 'loud white noise' in my head which in hindsight was possibly due to my own resistance. More recently it is as if I received assistance with my ability to conceptualise ideas about certain things whilst dreaming lucidly. Also it as if I can receive confirmations about ideas when I clear my mind. This sort of stuff is all new to me so I'm working through it as best I can I guess.

I'm glad to hear they are not going anywhere because that is also a fear of mine and I also believe the work they are doing is very important. I also relate to the double sided fear you mention. Sometimes I think I equally divide my time between fear that I'm going crazy and fear that I'm not going crazy, which sounds ridiculous. Utterly self-defeating, I once said to myself, lol, so perhaps not such a bad thing after all.

Anyway, after reading about your experience I feel quite positive about it all. Thanks so much for sharing.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoXegH7Nmw0

[Lazarus72]

Hey I've been thinking some more on this. The experience I previously described as a 'loud white noise' would perhaps better described as a reverberation of resonance. The confirmations of ideas I get tend to occur when I relax my mind often coming by way of what I'd describe as natural signs. A noise in the local environment, furniture creaking, a car passing or bird singing, perhaps something seemingly relevant to the idea being noticed on a T.V playing in the background, basically noises or occurrences really. I'd describe it in terms of synchronicity, as if the confirmation is fundamentally from myself to myself, and happening when subconscious to conscious or direct knowing takes place. Intuitiveness is another way of looking at it I guess.

[Internal Queries]

Originally Posted by Lazarus72

Hey I've been thinking some more on this. The experience I previously described as a 'loud white noise' would perhaps better described as a reverberation of resonance. The confirmations of ideas I get tend to occur when I relax my mind often coming by way of what I'd describe as natural signs. A noise in the local environment, furniture creaking, a car passing or bird singing, perhaps something seemingly relevant to the idea being noticed on a T.V playing in the background, basically noises or occurrences really. I'd describe it in terms of synchronicity, as if the confirmation is fundamentally from myself to myself, and happening when subconscious to conscious or direct knowing takes place. Intuitiveness is another way of looking at it I guess.

hi Laz, i'm glad my confessions of mental aberration has given you some comfort. remember though that i remain in a conumdrum concerning the reality of the whole thing. the best i've been able to do is to compartmentalize my inner life so that i can maintain something like a normal balance. there is the mental space wherein i carry on with "the work" as if it's real and the mental space wherein i try to remain objective about my sanity. i live a very simple external life. it takes little mental focus to feed the chickens and weed the garden. because of my tendency to shift into internal mode i know i could not hold an office job where concentration on the minutia of paper shuffling would be required so if your daily bread is dependent on such responsibilites you may not want to pursue making yourself available to this particular form of service to humanity. fair warning, is all i'm saying.

of course, at this point you may have no choice. IMO, that "loud white noise" you hear is your natural defense against too much inflowing data. that's your "stimuli filter" and if you've become aware of it it's already weakened. even the most expansive human mind can only process so much information at once and if your filter collaspes suddenly and completely it will be overwhelming. be careful. try not to poke too big holes in your filter as a trickle can become a flood. i mean, if you're feeling a bit crazy now you'll feel like a real lunatic if your filter collaspes. been there. experienced that. unpleasant in the extreme. as for syncronicity ... yeah. hmm. you're looking for external confirmation of what you're experiencing internally. this only works to a limited degree because you can inadvertently train yourself to take note of and see as a sign anything that appears relevant to recent internal explorations. for instance, say you get a new car and then suddenly you begin to notice all the other people who have same new car you do. same kind of thing, say, if you've been working on a specific color spectrum and you start seeing that color everywhere ... if you catch my drift.

anyway, thus far i have NO PROOF, no external proof, that any of what i experience is real. my relationship with my imaginary friends feels quite real while in the midst of communication. presently we're working on "modifying at inception" the most primitive human vibrational codings in the hopes of adjusting base primate instinct so as to mute such destructive manifestions of the human psyche as territorial aggression. this must be accomplished without completely undermining the basic survival coding. tricky tricky. sounds like fancy work but do i know for a fact that my imaginary friends are more than just imaginary? NO. it could be that my imaginary friends and the vibrational work we do is merely my subconscious seeking to make me feel that i'm not just another extraneous human taking up space on a crowded planet. i may be conjuring these mental voices and the inner scenarios as a way to compensate for a lack of self esteem and purpose. but if that's what i'm doing i can't help but be impressed with my mind's ability to create such a realistic and complex Make Believe. so since i can't yet know one way or the other i compartmentalize. it's real in the moment and then it's not, like dreaming a lucid dream and then waking up. it's a strange way to live but whatcha gonna do. **shrug**

[Lazarus72]

Yes that all makes a lot of sense. The compartmentalisation you speak of is something I have intuitively learned although becomes periodically quite difficult when I'm 'pushing it. Work in general started to become a problem some time ago although I'm in a privileged position in that respect.

The natural defence idea makes sense too. With regard to the collapse of the filter I have been to the brink, even one foot over but not quite collapsed. I believe its other than the dark night of the soul this imbalance to which you refer . It is something I am quite strong with, but I understand where you are coming from and will take heed.

Modifying at inception, yes I understand and resonate with this most helpful description. Tricky indeed and yes the pendulum doth swing. My compartmentalisation certainly could use improvement but watcha gonna do indeed. Perhaps try harder to try less and I do draw strength from the realisation that everything will be fine in the end which was seen in stillness. Though these stormy waters are not unexpected it doesn't make it much easier when the beliefs are being semi-identified with which seems to currently be the case. Tested as it were. Perhaps no pain no gain from one perspective. Hell I never really expected to die quietly anyway.

With regard the synchronicity, this is something I have experienced on and off over many years and it has been well tested. I'd like to relate the most recent experience but I'm gonna have to come back with that shortly as I'm still working on it along with several other pieces as part of a kindof mosaic I'm building. I'm going through quite an expressive phase I guess.


Thankyou for your comments.

[Internal Queries]

With regard the synchronicity, this is something I have experienced on and off over many years and it has been well tested. I'd like to relate the most recent experience but I'm gonna have to come back with that shortly as I'm still working on it along with several other pieces as part of a kindof mosaic I'm building. I'm going through quite an expressive phase I guess.


please do. i'm interested to read of your theories and experiments with syncronicity. i've had some very interesting experiences with the phenom but ultimately could find no use for it. for me, it seemed to be a distraction in an already complicated and sometimes chaotic circumstance. if you've discovered some handy dandy function for it i'm always open to adding new tools to my toolbox.

[Lazarus72]

I've been thinking more on this thread. Firstly in regard to the OP,

'the contours of their facial features, the way they smile, the expression in their eyes is often felt in my own face'

Interesting, my overactive imagination is often drawn to the more fantastical ideas and this line now reminds me of accounts of Buddha I've come across in the past describing how he attained the ability to be in different places and even all places simultaneously, and that he could know the minds of other men and even appear as them.

It reminds me of a notion of 'simplicity itself' I experienced following a deep meditation. Also accounts of people seeing their own faces in other people whilst high on drugs (elevated states of awareness) which likely would be an unpleasant experience for someone unprepared for it , so not recommended.

Perhaps thinking in terms of history repeating itself and ceaseless becoming, consciousness may merely transverse in accordance with compositional action caused by continuing ignorance of the true nature of things.

Another poster and myself (my guurlfriend) have both suggested that much could be accomplished by concentrating on things we agree on rather than differences. Another notion of mine it conjures is 'there is something to be said for that which prevails' . Curiouser and curiouser.


____________________________


Secondly

Not sure I can offer any functions for synchronicity as such....but here's my thinking.

To borrow Andrew's phrase, if we look at the 'process of attaining enlightenment as a jigsaw puzzle with many pieces', then the noticing of synchronicity as an additional confirmation that I am no other than that could be helpful towards an eventual realisation. Confirmations or whatever.

Additionally in regard to helping lessen the suffering of others I'm drawn to the idea of the attainment of the ability of direct transmission. Possibly part of some messiah complex or something due to lack of self esteem or purpose, there's always doubt, but I was born thinking big, and I'll relate that on another thread someday soon. I'll say I'm apprehensive about realising potential and endeavour to visualise extensively before making a commitment. I've only had one foot in and one foot out so as to hedge my bets thus far.

My main problem seems to be with my general application. I like to push the boundaries, which isn't necessarily a bad thing in itself although figuratively speaking I have a propensity to mount a bulldozer and try to crash through.

Perhaps It stems from a desire to try to see the bigger picture as quickly as possible to see if I'm wasting my time or not, something that served me well in business once upon a time but with spiritual matters I guess a lighter touch is required. Once I believed demonstrations of the full potential of humanity would be beneficial towards overcoming ignorance but recently I've sensed a lighter approach is required as you've also helpfully outlined previously.

Over and above compartmentalisation which I don't balance properly I have a tendency to engage in non-virtuous action like smoking for example in order to periodically lower my consciousness. Well that and being weak willed I guess. I spect its misguided and the deeper I go the more I suffer as a consequence. Both Physically and mentally, it results in negativity. I guess its crunch time soon.


I'll be back with the synchronicity account in due course.

[Internal Queries]

Interesting, my overactive imagination is often drawn to the more fantastical ideas and this line now reminds me of accounts of Buddha I've come across in the past describing how he attained the ability to be in different places and even all places simultaneously, and that he could know the minds of other men and even appear as them.


theoretically i suppose if one were totally sans ego and had no attachment to ones Id then one might be able to sit behind the eyes of anyone, anywhere, at and in any time, being as that without the Id and the ego which supports it there are no separate entities.

i imagine the reason i can feel the faces of my imaginary friends is because we are aspects of each other, aspects of a gestalt.

i smoke. i know i use the cigarettes as an anchor. the cig burning between my fingers keeps me from wandering too far at inappropriate times, keeps me aware of my body. lol

i've been thinking of trying one of those electric cigs but i don't know if it'd work as well as an anchor without the threat of possibly starting a fire should i wander too far away from my hand. lol life is so strange.