Loners!

I can honestly say I enjoy being alone. Even as a kid it didn't matter if I had no one to play with for days, I read, listened to records, had my animals. I have always preferred to do things alone, walking, riding, driving and don't bother me when i'm working. I am married, and have two kids and most days I could hole up in the bedroom and let them have the house like some kind of room mate. My daughter and I were talking to day because she's been grounded because of bad grades and can't go anywhere (my social butterfly), she doesn't understand why I can just stay home and not be bored. I guess I've always felt disconnected from other people and only connect when I have to. Seems to be getting worse the older I get. But I'm not lonely.

Then you have those who feel that they are nothing without being in a group of people, these can be the ones who are the real loners. There is a difference in being a loner and being lonely, the lonely is who I think you mean ?.

It isn't about being nothing without a group of people, it's about life being easier for them and not being held back by fear which masqueraded as "happy to be a loner". They nearly got away with it, even preferring the company of animals in some cases as theres little risk of animals upsetting them emotionally. They realised at some point that they couldn't go on pretending all was well when it wasn't. I suspect at times it was lonely and other times they filled their life up with chores and other things to take their minds off it.

PS: Just another thought, one guy told me he used to use the excuse "how do you know that you are not supposed to experience being a loner as lesson in this life" which eventually he realised he could use that excuse for anything.

Im alone, but feel no more need to be a 'loner' as I do to be a 'socialite'.

I am just alone, not lonely, but not living with the self-image that says I must stay alone.

When Im amongst a group, we are all one, not living with the self-image that we must stat together, but all one.

Originally Posted by blackraven

I have converted to introvertism out of negative life experiences I guess like Shepherd said. Boo hoo. I try. Old habits are hard to break.

Ha-ha! Shepherd brought up a good point I think. I can say I stepped back from the social world a dozen years ago because I was burned too many times by what I perceived as peoples' judgments, dishonesty and manipulation. But it's not something I even give a second thought to, let alone shed tears over. I was an fairly introverted child and young man. And I've always enjoyed my aloneness. It's something I have a predisposition to. I accepted that long ago, and I have no desire and see no need to change.

As for one question asked in the first post: I'm a talkative and social individual under the right circumstances. If I'm with someone who expresses an interest in the things that interest me, I can chat them up with the best of them. The difference with me I suppose is that I don't feel the need to then evolve friendships with such individuals.

[Emmalevine]

A loner doesn't equal being shy, although some loners can be. Loners are those who prefer being alone. To an extent I am a loner although part of this is through my background because I didn't belong in my family or school. As an adult I know have some good friends but I'd still call myself introverted because I like to be alone with my thoughts and reading/writing. When I do see friends I'm chatty but I wear out very quickly and crave my own space again.

[psychoslice]

Originally Posted by shepherd

It isn't about being nothing without a group of people, it's about life being easier for them and not being held back by fear which masqueraded as "happy to be a loner". They nearly got away with it, even preferring the company of animals in some cases as theres little risk of animals upsetting them emotionally. They realised at some point that they couldn't go on pretending all was well when it wasn't. I suspect at times it was lonely and other times they filled their life up with chores and other things to take their minds off it.

PS: Just another thought, one guy told me he used to use the excuse "how do you know that you are not supposed to experience being a loner as lesson in this life" which eventually he realised he could use that excuse for anything.

Your probably use to seeing the negative side of being lonely, we ain't talking about this, what I am saying is that to know yourself truly is to know true inner happiness, happiness isn't to be found out there somewhere, in a group of people or a relationship. Most that have known true Realization are mostly loners, I myself feel more lonely within large groups of people.

Originally Posted by Starbuck

When I do see friends I'm chatty but I wear out very quickly and crave my own space again.

Oh yes, that's exactly it. I've been known to get up and leave family/friends at a restaurant, and walk the streets while they continue to talk and socialize. I've got a good 20-30 social minutes in me before I start looking for a silent sanctuary.

Originally Posted by psychoslice

Your probably use to seeing the negative side of being lonely, we ain't talking about this, what I am saying is that to know yourself truly is to know true inner happiness, happiness isn't to be found out there somewhere, in a group of people or a relationship. Most that have known true Realization are mostly loners, I myself feel more lonely within large groups of people.

Then your 'true inner happiness' isn't within you...it is in being alone.

When you can be equal with and without others...then you are wholly independent

[Gem]

I am alone and social situations make me anxious, so although I like being alone, it is mostly the consequence of my social anxiety disfunction.

[psychoslice]

Originally Posted by xxheatherxx

Then your 'true inner happiness' isn't within you...it is in being alone.

When you can be equal with and without others...then you are wholly independent

Yes it is, its within you, if you like being with groups or not, all I am saying is that to say that to be a loner is a negative thing, isn't true at all. Yes its great being with people and its great being alone, but my own preference is to be a lone, not so much with groups of people.