twin flame or emotional attachment?

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It sounds like it could be a twin flame relationship........but even you basically noted WHY things broke up. In a twin flame relationship, there can't be co-dependency,relying on someone else to make you happy, or any barriers (like jealousy, insecurities). Those can be bad for any conventional relationship but even worse for the twin flame relationship because it is FAR from conventional and everything you listed (also parts of the ego) will derail it. And you have to be happy on your own before you can make it work. Time to start focusing on healing. Those who try to make a relationship like that work without doing all the inner work will find that it will be turbulent and/or short-lived.

[Kaere]

Let me ask you this ultra-violet - are your feelings for him going to change if someone says that Yes he is your twinflame or No he isn't you twinflame? Is the situation going to be different, is the "toxic" lifestyle going to be less toxic if he's your twin?

If you love, then love. But love yourself in the process and love you both enough to know when something isn't healthy for you or if it's worth fighting for. Remembering of course that just because you might have found your twin flame, does NOT mean you must be with this person or that you won't be able to find love and a healthy relationship elsewhere.

[fallensun]

When I read your case, I intuitively feel he's not your Twin Flame and trust me, I'm a psychic, so I can see this sort of thing. "When we stare into each other's eyes, there is a powerful feeling in my solar plexus." I feel he's a soulmate that helps you wake up to your self-esteem issues, and it's up to you to fix it and seek healing. Any soulmate can be a mirror to the other person's soul, and I feel he's there to help you wake up that you have a problem that is entirely in your hands to fix it but you couldn't think of a solution how, because you lay your power in the hands of the other.

He could be a very powerful soulmate who loves you, but you must realize that love is only a key to help you help yourself.

[fallensun]

Don't be! Maybe your soul make you feel that way so you can learn a soul lesson from this. I can feel that you often breathing hard and panic when you're going going overboard. This is the result of a drug withdrawal? Detoxification is very hard.

My guides are showing me that if you practice Tai-chi or Yoga and feel the nature around you...just go to a park and practice deep belly breathing exercises, this will bring in healing energy into your meridans (I keep seeing trees and lots of green) and this will help you balance your being. Your energy is low.

Either way, I feel your soulmate doesn't take offense to that. If anything, he finds that romantic too, but you have to make a better effort in improving your health or otherwise, your stress is going to strain the relationship.

Love is real and all in abundance.

[fallensun]

Sure!

I feel and see that once you get better and healthier, you'll have a better mental clarity on who he is to you. You can't think clearly right now, because you need to learn how to heal yourself, so love shouldn't be on your list.

You said you love him dearly and yet you can't make sense of the relationship? Here's a suggestion. Can you picture yourself marrying this man once you get clean and start a family? Can you imagine that?

[fallensun]

There's your answer to your question! You want him to follow your example of a healthy lifestyle and he wants you to realized you have a low self-esteem. It goes both ways.

With that insight in mind, keep working on this relationship and see where the experience takes you.

Originally Posted by ultra-violet

does this mean that he is not my twin flame and that i could want it so much that i believe him to be? more of an emotional dependency with a toxic lifestyle? i feel like we are trying to rescue each other. so confused...

I didn't say he is, or that he isn't. That's something you just know. What I do know is that if you aren't emotionally healthy, you aren't ready for each other......no matter how much you might want to be.

I like to compare this relationship to childhood. Remember how your mom used to say you can't have dessert until you eat your dinner? You can't really savor this connection UNTIL you work on YOU.

If it's meant to be, it will happen. Even if it ain't right now.But it requires alot of inner work.

Originally Posted by ultra-violet

no. i believe our souls are already married. i don't think i want a family and don't agree with the idea of marriage. i just wanna heal myself and i want us to live in union together, i want him to get healthy too. but i am trying to change him, can't ever imagine being with him the way he is. i want him to be just like me and find it difficult to tolerate his drinking once a fortnight. i know he is not happy drinking and smoking so round we go again... both feel like hopeless lovers caught in a vicious cycle.

You can't force someone to change. You can only change you. I met a karmic soulmate before my twin and he was toxic for me too. In a twin flame relationship, you accept them AS THEY ARE and love them unconditionally. Twin flames are typically alot alike without ever trying to be. My twin is hands down a guy version of me. And I wouldn't change a thing about him.

I went through this too. I met a "near twin" or a karmic soulmate. Most painful lesson of my life, but I learned so much. This guy could be a test to see if you are truly ready for your twin. The lessons to be learned is unconditional love and "letting go."

Here is an article that I post often but it's very helpful.

http://www.harusami.com/soul2soul/twinsoul.html