Did I do the right thing?

Tirisilex · #1 14-11-2016, 03:33 AM

I suffer from restless leg syndrome. I'm on a Butrans patch to help with it. My so called friend stole the rest of my patches from me and fled to Boston. I found out that he stole them once I got home after giving him a ride to the train to goto Boston. I was torn with anger because of this.. I wanted to act compassionatly but all i could think of was cutting him off as a friend. I wanted to show him that this kind of behavior is unacceptable. I didnt think the remaining to be his friend and forgiving him for it would help the situation so I cut him off as a freind. Am I right to do this?

Jeremy Bong · #2 14-11-2016, 04:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tirisilex

I suffer from restless leg syndrome. I'm on a Butrans patch to help with it. My so called friend stole the rest of my patches from me and fled to Boston. I found out that he stole them once I got home after giving him a ride to the train to goto Boston. I was torn with anger because of this.. I wanted to act compassionatly but all i could think of was cutting him off as a friend. I wanted to show him that this kind of behavior is unacceptable. I didnt think the remaining to be his friend and forgiving him for it would help the situation so I cut him off as a freind. Am I right to do this?

Hey Tirisilex,

I am sympathy of what you suffer. I try to pray for you.

As you said. .........., a friend in help is a true friend and a friend that caused such trouble when you are suffering leg sickness...... You choose good friend and as for him, he knows what he have done.

keokutah · #3 14-11-2016, 04:45 AM

When someone I care about does something wrong once, or even a few times or even a handful of times, I always give them the benefit of the doubt, a second chance, let them explain themselves and easily forgive them. But they still get an earful about how their behavior was unacceptable, and if they are good friends they will respect my boundary and never do it again or at least try their hardest not to.

But when they harm me on a regular basis and there is no sign of them ever stopping, that is when I think of cutting ties. I can't be around someone who continuously harms me, as that is not healthy.

bees · #4 14-11-2016, 05:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tirisilex

I suffer from restless leg syndrome. I'm on a Butrans patch to help with it. My so called friend stole the rest of my patches from me and fled to Boston. I found out that he stole them once I got home after giving him a ride to the train to goto Boston. I was torn with anger because of this.. I wanted to act compassionatly but all i could think of was cutting him off as a friend. I wanted to show him that this kind of behavior is unacceptable. I didnt think the remaining to be his friend and forgiving him for it would help the situation so I cut him off as a freind. Am I right to do this?

Tirisilex,

I'm very sorry to hear of what happened to you, peace and love to you.

bees

knightofalbion · #5 14-11-2016, 09:54 AM

If you can find it in your heart to forgive him, it will be the noble thing to do. And it will restore your peace of mind.

As for still being friends, I rather think he has made that decision for you.

Liliel · #6 14-11-2016, 11:10 AM

You did what you felt was best at the moment. You may want to think about it later when you calm down after this event and think what you want to do.

But wouldn't it be best if this friend tried to apologize first if he values your friendship? If he cares, he will see what he has done.

Within Silence · #7 14-11-2016, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tirisilex

I suffer from restless leg syndrome. I'm on a Butrans patch to help with it. My so called friend stole the rest of my patches from me and fled to Boston. I found out that he stole them once I got home after giving him a ride to the train to goto Boston. I was torn with anger because of this.. I wanted to act compassionatly but all i could think of was cutting him off as a friend. I wanted to show him that this kind of behavior is unacceptable. I didnt think the remaining to be his friend and forgiving him for it would help the situation so I cut him off as a freind. Am I right to do this?

How do you know that cutting him off wont help him? Perhaps it will be a wake up call to him, as, at times extreme minds need extreme measures. This doesn't mean that you don't forgive him, but that you're sending a loud message by cutting him off, and if he can't hear your message in this this act then that it his problem not yours.

Perhaps it may be important to understand why he did what he did, what's behind his actions. Then in knowing this (if you find out) you may better understand where he's coming from.

Try to understand that people don't do things to you, they do it for their own thoughts, for their own beliefs, which we then take personally.

mulyo13 · #8 14-11-2016, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tirisilex

I suffer from restless leg syndrome. I'm on a Butrans patch to help with it. My so called friend stole the rest of my patches from me and fled to Boston. I found out that he stole them once I got home after giving him a ride to the train to goto Boston. I was torn with anger because of this.. I wanted to act compassionatly but all i could think of was cutting him off as a friend. I wanted to show him that this kind of behavior is unacceptable. I didnt think the remaining to be his friend and forgiving him for it would help the situation so I cut him off as a freind. Am I right to do this?

Sometimes anger shown as a form of concern. When you yelling to someone because of his/her wrong behavior, it's also means that you want him/her to change to become a better person and not making the same mistake to you or to others in the future. AFAIK, in Buddhism it's called compassion.
If you don't have any concern about someone, you won't let them known what mistake he/she had done and let he/she remain on their mistake.

Forgiving or not, cut him off or not,....... it's your decision. But, try listen to your heart first. Your pure heart where not affected by anger.
If you meditate, when you reach 'quite mind' try listen to your heart.

sky · #9 14-11-2016, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tirisilex

I suffer from restless leg syndrome. I'm on a Butrans patch to help with it. My so called friend stole the rest of my patches from me and fled to Boston. I found out that he stole them once I got home after giving him a ride to the train to goto Boston. I was torn with anger because of this.. I wanted to act compassionatly but all i could think of was cutting him off as a friend. I wanted to show him that this kind of behavior is unacceptable. I didnt think the remaining to be his friend and forgiving him for it would help the situation so I cut him off as a freind. Am I right to do this?

Does it feel right ?
That will give you the answer

bees · #10 14-11-2016, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sky123

Does it feel right ?
That will give you the answer

Regardless of preferences, it's undoubted, as a purely illustrative example, that half of a country might vote for and "feel good" for a buffoon and another half might feel good that "their choice was the right choice".

So, no, that is not the key or the "answer".