twin flame or emotional attachment?

[fallensun]

Originally Posted by ultra-violet

thank you very much for your responses.

"In a twin flame relationship, you accept them AS THEY ARE and love them unconditionally."

but i don't like these habits of mine so how can i ever be happy with his habits? i feel i can't be accepting...

Hey, I feel you. I feel like I can't be accepting of other people's flaws either. That's why it's important to learn to have empathy but with objectivity, having compassion for another person's pain, but don't let it effect you. Understand the imbalances, the whys, and hows. You can't force him to change, but you can bring it up to him with honesty and let him think about it.

You said you want him to be like you and you can't tolerate his drinking. Trying to have some empathy and look through his point of view. Can he tolerate your unhappiness? You must realize he is human and he is only trying his best.

If he's drinking, then that means he is very unhappy with himself. What can you do to change that? Sometimes, in a relationship, we need to be a little selfless, stop being hard on ourselves, and to each other.

I know it's hard, and this is just a piece of my advice, but try compassion and mercy, even if it's just a little? Try to remember you and him were used to be children once. Try to reach your inner child and talk to it.

I know it's hard, but maybe you should, this is a test of love beyond ego.

Originally Posted by ultra-violet

thank you very much for your responses.

"In a twin flame relationship, you accept them AS THEY ARE and love them unconditionally."

but i don't like these habits of mine so how can i ever be happy with his habits? i feel i can't be accepting...

I guess it easier to focus on other people's shortcomings if it means you don't have to look at yours. My karmic soulmate was extremely miserable and he was forever pointing out what was wrong with other people and tearing them down to make himself feel better. He used to make cracks about my clothes, my weight,my driving (he drove like a maniac himself!) he even had something to say about something my MOM wore the one day she met him.

As for your guy,didn't you say he drinks once a fortnight? Isn't a fortnight 2 weeks? If so, thats not that bad. I've known people who drank way more than that. When someone chooses to drink constantly throughout the week, thats when you have a possible alcoholic.

But anyway......Wouldn't you want someone to accept you as you are instead of pushing you to change? I'm sure you would be hurt too if someone said, "I can't accept you as you are." Or "I want you to be who I want you to be." I learned that the best thing about a twin flame is that they naturally will push your buttons to get you to release old habits or attitudes and they change you more than you can imagine and its not because they are intentionally trying to. But alot of the work is what we have to do on our own. Its not up to other people to "fix" us. I used to think if I cared about my karmic soulmate enough, it would change him for the better. I used to think I could "save" him. It was futile, draining, and he made me just like him. Miserable.

[mystical]

Originally Posted by ultra-violet

i met my partner when i was unhappy in myself. that's still the case. i want to be rid of drugs, alcohol, nicotine and unhealthy food. is the depth of feeling between us an emotional attachment or twin flame connection or could it be both? our souls connected on such a deep level when i was crying out for help. plus we are both similar in a lot of ways. no one can hold my attention for long enough, when we stare into each other's eyes there is a powerful feeling in my solar plexus and we are both mirrors to each other's souls. we have a very intense relationship-a huge part of it being because i am not happy in myself. my insecurities and jealousies cause us to break apart temporarily. we have a very unhealthy co-dependant relationship. ultimately i want to move forward in myself and get healthy and have the mental clarity and vibrance that i had 4 years ago when i went on a detox. can anyone help me make sense of this relationship? thanks for reading.

SWEETIE , NOONE CAN TELL U IF HE IS TWIN FLAME OR NOT FOR CERTAIN , ONLY GOD KNOWS THAT ANSWER AND IN TIME U WILL KNWO IT TOO BY WHAT U FEEL , I MET MY TIWN FLAME AND I KNOW REGARDLESS OF WHAT OTHERS SAY I HAVE HAD CLARIFICTAION SEVERAL TIMES ON THIS , , MY TIWN TAUGHT ME ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW ABout MYSELF AND LIKE U MINE TOO MADE ME WANT TO CLEAR MY BODY OF TOXINS , IM NOW TRYING TO CURRENTLY GIVE UP SMOKIN, I AHVE CUT OUT DRINK AND AM STERRING TOWARDS EATING BETTER , BUT THE THING WITH TIWNS IS THEY ARE THERE TO HELP U HEAL IN SO MANY WAYS , MAYBE UR PURPOSE IS TO EB A HEALER , IM A MEDIUM AND I NEVER THOUGHT OF HELAING TILL I MET MY TWIN AND THEN I SAw how the power of healing reaLly helps , i needed to heal myself and now want to heal others , just try and accept the cnnection u are feeling and in time u will become enlightened and gain clarity ,i met my twin when i was at that point in my life where i shouldve been happy with what i had , but deep down i was unhappy with myself which is why we have twins to help us to learn to love ourselves ....... everything u ahve said here mirrors me so please dont abandon the concept of wwhat could be more than just a soul mate xx, xxxxxxxx