Just sharing a long read...For Dad died 1996

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Please feel welcomed to post your own experiences.

I never felt close to my Dad (being the 8th child out of 11) until the last 8 weeks of his life. I was studying at uni a psychology/sociology degree.
Over approximately 4 months preceeding the last 8 weeks I was talking to my lecturer about experiences I had in my life, I was worried I was "NUTS" . His response was "No you are not NUTS and I believe you, please write them down"..Which I hadn't. On one particular day I said to him "I am feeling a dread I have never felt before,like a large dark cloud coming and it is growing daily"
I couldnt describe the feeling, each day it increased. I remember saying the only thing I have not experienced was death with a loved one! About 5 weeks after that friends seperated, so logically I put it down to that. But the feeling was still there.
I pushed it as much as I could from my mind, thinking it was irrational and tried to focus on family life and study. One day I got a call.. Dad was in hospital ( this was not unusual..my father was always in and out of hospital for various things). I thought I will visit him on the coming Sunday.
Early Sunday morning at approx 5.00 am I got a call that Dad was dying in hospital, I raced up there, my whole family and myself crying as he was being given his last rites. They said he had a massive stroke. We were all sobbing heartbroken! Some-one called out in a loud voice "DAD" and he instantly opened his eyes and said with a laugh" Jesus tricked you" he talked about his war buddies that had died in the 2nd world war! And he got well. This was the start of the last 8 weeks of his life. I recall noticing that when he opened his eyes that day, both eyes were clear and a brighter blue.. Dad always had a cloudy eye. Doctors decided it was his pacemaker that needed replacing he did not have a stroke.. They performed the operation, about 10 days later he went home. Over the coming weeks he was in and out of hospital sick with different things, I got to know my father differently. It was about the 7th week, when he was again in hospital they said he had Golden staph through his system as well various other problems, and his organs where starting to deteriorate, he going to die the doctor said. It could be a couple of weeks or more. It was the eighth week and on the Wednesday they put him on morphine..it was heartbreaking " I just knew I would never hear his voice again" I stayed at the hospital 14 hours ( I had two young children at home with my then husband). On the Thursday I had been at the hospital about 7hrs and I said to a sister " I think I will go home for a sleep" She said "NO you can't! Dont you remember on Monday I said to you when is dad going to die? You said Thursday" .......... (to be continued in 10 minutes)