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  #11  
Old 11-12-2019, 06:12 AM
running running is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jay.kishan
After having to experience the surge of energy blasting through the base of my spine, i went through a whole lot of process in which i cleared out my fears, suppressed anger and other emotions and after 6 months or so, I kind of settled with the new reality and life came back to track.

I still feel i am in a process and i feel the energy moving inside my body as soon as i am relaxed on mental level.

Currently, I have hit another obstacle, which i never thought would be. I FEAR enlightenment. Yes, i am fearing to experience the divine, the self.

Guys, i know this is ego shouting and it will do everything to protect itself. I know that there is so much love on the other side as i have had glimpses of that and i never thought i would fear the divine.

This fear is of surrender, this fear is of letting go. The experiences i have in my daily-life, make me feel that this fear is the only obstacle, this surrender is the only thing i have to do and the truth will shine. I feel like the curtain of Illusion(MAYA) will soon be removed and i am fearing that. I think i will lose myself, might die.

I know guys that this is not true, fear can never be true. But

Has anyone experienced this fear of surrender like this. Like after coming a long way, you hit this fear which you never thought of and then finally surrendering ?

Surrender to the void, jump into nothingness or say Taking the leap


This is after having the initial joyful ride of meditation. So i am expecting some experienced answers. They will relate it to it automatically.

sounds like a normal process to me. part of that fear is there is pointlessness feeling to things and our mind has been programmed in opposition to that. over time the mind will become acclimated. and you will feel normal in it. im not saying thats your fear. but a possibility.
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  #12  
Old 11-12-2019, 08:36 AM
hallow hallow is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jay.kishan
After having to experience the surge of energy blasting through the base of my spine, i went through a whole lot of process in which i cleared out my fears, suppressed anger and other emotions and after 6 months or so, I kind of settled with the new reality and life came back to track.

I still feel i am in a process and i feel the energy moving inside my body as soon as i am relaxed on mental level.

Currently, I have hit another obstacle, which i never thought would be. I FEAR enlightenment. Yes, i am fearing to experience the divine, the self.

Guys, i know this is ego shouting and it will do everything to protect itself. I know that there is so much love on the other side as i have had glimpses of that and i never thought i would fear the divine.

This fear is of surrender, this fear is of letting go. The experiences i have in my daily-life, make me feel that this fear is the only obstacle, this surrender is the only thing i have to do and the truth will shine. I feel like the curtain of Illusion(MAYA) will soon be removed and i am fearing that. I think i will lose myself, might die.

I know guys that this is not true, fear can never be true. But

Has anyone experienced this fear of surrender like this. Like after coming a long way, you hit this fear which you never thought of and then finally surrendering ?

Surrender to the void, jump into nothingness or say Taking the leap


This is after having the initial joyful ride of meditation. So i am expecting some experienced answers. They will relate it to it automatically.
I like to think, things don't happen until your ready for it. For the longest time I was under the impression everything happens at once. From my experience it doesn't. It trickles in as your ready often so you don't even notice until that one day your like WOW! I get it now. Maybe that's why people think there "awakened" things been trickling in for a long time until that one experience opens the door and that WOW! moment happens. So no reason to fear.
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  #13  
Old 11-12-2019, 11:34 AM
jay.kishan jay.kishan is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 77
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by shivatar
I can relate but being in a kind of different situation. I was not just like you, but kind of like you except the opposite kind of you.

Many times I just wanted to die, and my fear was that I would live. My ultimate fear came to be true, I would live!! but it was never what I had feared in the beginning. I did have to live, but life was actually kind of amazing and not anything I had in mind when I was fearing it the entire time.

Maybe it is like that for you too. Maybe your fear is true too, but not in the way that you feared most. Chances are your greatest fear, when you do face it, will be laughable and you'll pass them going "what was I ever afraid of in the first place anyways?!".

Maybe you will have to die, but it will totally be the opposite of what you expect. In my experience, that is pretty much how fear goes. You spend this whole time being afraid of something, but then eventually you face it and it's like 1/50th as bad as you originally thought. Still sucky, perhaps even poopy, but absolutely nowhere near as bad has it was in your mind.


I have this idea. I know that when the truth will be revealed,I will laugh on my fear, ill see how of a big illusion it was which was stopping me to see the truth.
But still, i have to soak my mind in that by becoming present
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  #14  
Old 11-12-2019, 05:31 PM
lemex lemex is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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I can relate as well and still on the journey.
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