Please help... losing all hope... life just doesn't make sense... (chronic illness)

[captainamerica]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

Welcome to the forums, my dear one and know that you are loved.

This whole thing could be my own autobiography and it has been only recently that I have decided to become more pro-active in my own health recovery.

Fibromyalgia, M.E., PTSD, Autism and going through what seems an endless "Dark Night Of The Soul" in trying to gain acceptance, understanding and yet, living with all this, took me off to see my Neurologist.

Turns out, I have a major clinical depression which is overriding and overruling my attempts to progress spiritually and I have been placed on 'better meds' and so, I feel that a visit to a health care practitioner is essential! just to get the ball rolling.

Gentle exercise like low impact yoga is great...and trust me, I know how difficult that is, when even the simple act of having a shower wipes you out for the rest of the day, but fear not! I came across a very beautiful soul on Youtube about a month ago, who is also going through this:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC4...Cng8tvw/videos

As for Adrenal Fatigue...yup, I have that too and here is some advice from Dr. Axe that is helping:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPMbHaTwzmk

I have also recently been taking Rhodiola, Ashwaghanda, Korean Ginseng, Licorice Root and Reishi mushrooms and notice a slight improvement when I am regular in taking them...but I haven't been lately (due to the depression) and need to get into a routine.

Also, if you have a peptic ulcer (I have a duodenal hernia), alkalising your system is great, with some apple cider vinegar and/or alkaline water. I discovered this water in my supermarket two days ago called "Alka-Power" (Ionic Alkaline Water) and I have noticed that I can drink more of that than regular spring water...and keeping well hydrated is essential.

It is important that you are also not too hard and critical with yourself based upon your illnesses or what others say. I'd love to have a penny for every time I hear "you're making this all up" or "you are only seeking attention" from those who do not understand what is going on and so now, I have a 'medical certificate' from my neurologist I like to flash around; asking others for their credentials in respect to it and it quickly shuts them up.

Also, grounding is very important. I prefer the term 'distraction' over 'grounding' as it describes it better for me. Have an Epsom Salts bath, go for a barefoot walk in nature and touch the plants and trees, colour in some mandalas, listen to guided meditations...like this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiLKbvhxRvw

I still have a long way to go myself...and I realise it is all rather daunting, but just take it in small steps...even if you only do 10-15 minutes a day to start...then after a while, when you get stronger, you can build this up to 45 minutes to an hour.

I wish you all the best and sending Light your way.

Oh !

Just read about your problem now.

Sorry to hear ,hope you both get well soon.

No need to respond to my PM if you are that unwell.I did not knew it before otherwise I wouldn't have sent the PM.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by captainamerica

Oh !

Just read about your problem now.

Sorry to hear ,hope you both get well soon.

No need to respond to my PM if you are that unwell.I did not knew it before otherwise I wouldn't have sent the PM.

Thank you and now you know.

I just put on a brave face and try to nutter through it, but at times it does get the better of me and I crash back down to earth.

[captainamerica]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

Thank you and now you know.

I just put on a brave face and try to nutter through it, but at times it does get the better of me and I crash back down to earth.

Have the same problem.

From my experience as well I believe that one cannot simply ignore the mental health issues such as the one troubling you and me.These issues do get the better of anyone no matter how brave one can get,I believe.

[captainamerica]

Shivani devi ji,

I am having good results with a method.

I visualize lord krishna ji in my heart radiating love and healing to me.At the same time I pray them to heal me.

My anxiety has now changed from 9/10 ,10 being the worse, to 2/10 with this method.It really gives me peace.

[paperw1ngs]

Originally Posted by ChildOfSummer

Hello beautiful people. Thankyou for clicking on and reading this post.

I don't know where to turn or what to do anymore. I'm 28 years old, and 4 years ago I became ill with my second "chronic illness" of my 20s. The first started a year earlier. (1st: stomach ulcers from h pylori, 2nd: labelled as chronic adrenal fatigue - a host of bizarre symptoms from awful blood sugar levels to extreme fatigue, weight gain, hair loss, accelerated aging, sleep problems, muscle weakness, joint pain, weak immune system and more)

I have considered suicide so many times. I have always been "spiritual", but I have little faith anymore. I don't see how my karma was to sit and rot away in a house all through my youth. I'm watching life pass me by. Yes, people are dying or have worse diseases or die as babies, but I can't call this living, and I just don't understand why this has happened to me. I have always been such a vivacious soul, and all I ever wanted to do was see the world. I want to devote my life entirely to helping people. I want to make a positive difference. Meanwhile, my peers can drink and drug their way through their 20s with not a care in the world, getting good jobs, moving out on their own (I'm forced to live with my parent and can't work a real job)... and they don't even want to help others. Yet they live on, healthy and happy. I don't see how this is living out my highest purpose. I am no good to the world sitting in a house feeling awful all the time, so I really can't see how this is leading me to the path I KNOW I was born for. I really feel like some wires got crossed in the cosmic realm n I was forced into a life that just wasn't meant for me.

Forgive me, I'm emotional, I'm crying as I type this. I NEED to get better. I cannot be one of those people who never does. I would honestly rather die, and I'll probably make sure that happens if I don't. But I desperately, deeply, painfully, want to live. I want to live my dreams and what I feel I was truly put here to do.

I've tried many approaches to healing and I'm slowly giving up hope. I want to be one of those people who has so much faith that they can meditate their illness away, or have some near death divine intervention, but I just continue to slowly fade away, losing hope, losing faith, dreams and friends, bit by bit.

Please help me, if you know of any way I might ever be able to walk away from this darkness. I'm open to anything, I need some light. Anything. This is my plea to the universe. Please someone, tell me what I can do to thrive again...

Ps. I know I sound dark, but in my truest essence I'm a very light, loving girl. I was just dealt a card I don't want anymore.

I'm sorry that sounds really horrible; I don't know what battling with a disease is like but I know what it feels like to lose all hope and fall into a deep depression you don't see yourself rising from, really hit rock bottom emotionally a couple weeks ago; times like these call us to find our inner fire; what excites us the very most and throw our all into making that happen. If you fight for yourself the universe will fight for you. It calls us to shed our old skin our old beliefs our old way of thinking and open up to the divine that is calling us forward. What works best for me is just saying ok I can die now and give up now or I can make this (what I want) happen and then I just put my all in and cut whatever I need to cut out of my life and work on manifesting what excites me. I can always give up but deep down we all want to live and find our passion. What calls to you? What picture of reality excites you, fills you with that inner fire, inner drive? Deep down you know that you can make it happen if you put your all in. Let your old self go and become who you want to be; just find that passion and vision of reality you need first. Close your eyes and envision the life you want to live and write out steps to make that happen and use that as your guiding light; you will find magic along the way, I promise. Best of luck to you.

Watching "the secret" woke me out of my slumber. Law of attraction can transform your life if you practice it.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

don't give up ChildOfSummer. do the best you can with the cards you've
been dealt, and explore whatever avenues which appear to offer you the
hope to swap out some of your unwanted cards.
find things that you can enjoy despite the circumstances you're saddled with.
do those happy things. share your joys whenever possible.

Serenity Prayer
http://www.beliefnet.com/prayers/pro...ty-prayer.aspx

[Nameless]

Hi Child of Summer and Welcome!

In reading your post, what popped into my head was diet. What are you eating or not eating? Also, it sounds like you do not believe that you are a self healing being (which we all are).

Part of my spiritual journey was, and still is, learning what I can eat that supports my body and whatain doesn't.

I don't know where you live, but in the US, there is so much ...hmmm....can't say the word I want :)...in the processed foods and junk take outs that is making the US sick, and my first thought was, change your diet. It certainly can't hurt, right?

I came across Dr. Berg on you tube when I was needing a change. I was tired all the time, I was stressed, when really I had no reason to be tired or stressed.

I love his videos, and they have helped me a lot. I tried intermittent fasting the way that he explains first. Basically you eat within a certain window of time - and you don't snack between meals, and the goal is to get to two meals a day with no snacks. But at those 2 meals a day you eat good foods - but no sugar. He recommends elimating sugar from your diet as the first thing to go. And that's what I started with. No sugar, no fast foods, I had to prepare all of my food myself, and no low fat anything. Anyway I recommend watching his intermittent fasting videos. Then if you feel it, move to his version of the Keto diet, which is different from all the other versions in that you eat all the vegees you can (except for starchy veg like potatoes, corn and peas) protein and fats - and little to no fruit. Here's his video on intermittent fasting and insulin resistance:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwCRjwDs1Ek

When you take sugar out of your diet, a lot of things go - bread, pasta, rice, things that turn into sugar immediately in your blood stream.

Anyway, he has over 2000 videos on you tube, and he talks a lot about the adrenals. Just type in you tube - Dr Berg and adrenal and you will get a lot of videos pop up about that.

I really feel like, if you haven't looked at your diet, that may be the culprit.

There's that old saying, you are what you eat. And the old computer saying, junk in, junk out. In other words, if you put junk data into Quickbooks, say, you only get junk data out.

On the other side of the coin from what you could eat that may change your body, is something I found recently that really is sort of fascinating. I do not know anyone that has tried this, put I am putting it out there as something to consider. If you have never heard of Dolores Cannon, type Dolores Cannon into you tube and a lot of videos pop up. Dolores was a hypnotist who started in the 60's who stumbled upon speaking with someone's higher self, or source, or whatever you want to call it, and eventually over the years she developed her own version of hypnosis which she calls QHTT (Quantum Healing something something...sorry don't remember exactly the title) where, in this other state of consciousness, your higher self, inner being, source, whatever you want to call it, comes in and heals your body. It is supposed to be instant. One session, and your done.

Whether or not I believe that, and I have watched a lot of her videos, (she is quite a character in her own right and worth a listen to) I did come to believe that my body is self healing, and I wasn't truly trusting it to heal itself.

So you might try that angle. Trust your body to heal itself and get out of the way of it, stop telling it this or that, negative things, and start telling it positive things. You and your body are co-creators. Your body agreed to help your soul to live on this earth and explore this planet. And that's really what we are - explorers of this world. And I believe our purpose is Joy! To find joy in the physical realm, to create joy for ourselves.

Joy is everywhere, and abundant. You can breathe in Joy whenever you want. Just tell yourself, I am breathing in the joy that is all around me, and then breathe in, then when you exhale, imagine you are breathing joy all the way down to your toes, so the breathe doesn't go out of you but into you.

That always makes me happy. We breathe in emotions all day long, why not breathe in Joy?

Hope you feel better soon. :)

[LadyMay]

Hello, I totally understand what you are feeling, as I have been many of the same things with chronic fatigue, adrenal insufficiency and stuff, and definitely I have been at some emotionally low places at my life. I considered suicide too which was nothing new for me, but then I kind of came to this place of acceptance that it doesn't matter if I can't do much, it's the little things that count. Since then I promised myself I would never want to commit suicide, and I have never allowed myself to be tempted since. I still get my low moments though, but I try to remember every day is a new day. Also I find anti-depressants really help, and herbal anti-depressants too, if you want to try that. CBD oil also is a life saver, not just for the physical pain but mental anguish too. There are many little things you can do to help over all, just don't give up hope. Try to enjoy the good moments, no matter how small.

[paperw1ngs]

Originally Posted by Nameless

Hi Child of Summer and Welcome!

In reading your post, what popped into my head was diet. What are you eating or not eating? Also, it sounds like you do not believe that you are a self healing being (which we all are).

Part of my spiritual journey was, and still is, learning what I can eat that supports my body and whatain doesn't.

I don't know where you live, but in the US, there is so much ...hmmm....can't say the word I want :)...in the processed foods and junk take outs that is making the US sick, and my first thought was, change your diet. It certainly can't hurt, right?

I came across Dr. Berg on you tube when I was needing a change. I was tired all the time, I was stressed, when really I had no reason to be tired or stressed.

I love his videos, and they have helped me a lot. I tried intermittent fasting the way that he explains first. Basically you eat within a certain window of time - and you don't snack between meals, and the goal is to get to two meals a day with no snacks. But at those 2 meals a day you eat good foods - but no sugar. He recommends elimating sugar from your diet as the first thing to go. And that's what I started with. No sugar, no fast foods, I had to prepare all of my food myself, and no low fat anything. Anyway I recommend watching his intermittent fasting videos. Then if you feel it, move to his version of the Keto diet, which is different from all the other versions in that you eat all the vegees you can (except for starchy veg like potatoes, corn and peas) protein and fats - and little to no fruit. Here's his video on intermittent fasting and insulin resistance:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwCRjwDs1Ek

When you take sugar out of your diet, a lot of things go - bread, pasta, rice, things that turn into sugar immediately in your blood stream.

Anyway, he has over 2000 videos on you tube, and he talks a lot about the adrenals. Just type in you tube - Dr Berg and adrenal and you will get a lot of videos pop up about that.

I really feel like, if you haven't looked at your diet, that may be the culprit.

There's that old saying, you are what you eat. And the old computer saying, junk in, junk out. In other words, if you put junk data into Quickbooks, say, you only get junk data out.

On the other side of the coin from what you could eat that may change your body, is something I found recently that really is sort of fascinating. I do not know anyone that has tried this, put I am putting it out there as something to consider. If you have never heard of Dolores Cannon, type Dolores Cannon into you tube and a lot of videos pop up. Dolores was a hypnotist who started in the 60's who stumbled upon speaking with someone's higher self, or source, or whatever you want to call it, and eventually over the years she developed her own version of hypnosis which she calls QHTT (Quantum Healing something something...sorry don't remember exactly the title) where, in this other state of consciousness, your higher self, inner being, source, whatever you want to call it, comes in and heals your body. It is supposed to be instant. One session, and your done.

Whether or not I believe that, and I have watched a lot of her videos, (she is quite a character in her own right and worth a listen to) I did come to believe that my body is self healing, and I wasn't truly trusting it to heal itself.

So you might try that angle. Trust your body to heal itself and get out of the way of it, stop telling it this or that, negative things, and start telling it positive things. You and your body are co-creators. Your body agreed to help your soul to live on this earth and explore this planet. And that's really what we are - explorers of this world. And I believe our purpose is Joy! To find joy in the physical realm, to create joy for ourselves.

Joy is everywhere, and abundant. You can breathe in Joy whenever you want. Just tell yourself, I am breathing in the joy that is all around me, and then breathe in, then when you exhale, imagine you are breathing joy all the way down to your toes, so the breathe doesn't go out of you but into you.

That always makes me happy. We breathe in emotions all day long, why not breathe in Joy?

Hope you feel better soon. :)

Yes, good to point out food; I personally believe diet choices directly impact physical ailments...I had a couple health issues that were affecting me longterm; 1 of which isn't considered curable by modern science (a autoimmune disorder) I switched up my lifestyle and went to a raw vegan diet for 2 weeks within the first week all symptoms went away and continued to be gone now years later. Now I eat a vegan diet (was vegetarian for years but it didn't help much) and feel much better than before. :P I also stopped using harsh chemicals in cleaning, skin/hair care, laundry etc.

[Heather Aine]

Can we get an update, please? How are you doing at the moment?