Friendship tensions :(

Hi!

After a bit of advice. For two years I have been sharing an office with this girl. Up until recently we have had quite a tense relationship - we are both studying but I'm 12 months further into my course. She spends quite a bit of time away from the office, and this is fine with me as I like my own space. But those times she has been in there has always been this mistrust hanging in the air. It was like she was envious of some of the things I was doing, and she would basically get quite angry that she wasn't achieving the same kinds of things - this was mainly because of the stages we are in our studies. It led to alot of mistrust on my part and negative tension between us.

Now though she has been away from the office for a couple of months due to some time out. And her energy has completely changed as a result. She is much more positive and upbeat and looking forward to returning to work next month.
But, I am dreading it. I'm trying to work out what it is I am dreading though - I don't feel that the situation will return to what it was. I think instead that her positive attitude will seriously annoy me.

But - I know this is all to do with me. I know that others are reflections of ourselves, and I am having to tell myself that perhaps the envy or negativity lies with me now - she has been away from me for some time, and is more positive as a result (although she did have an accident causing her to reassess her life). In some senses though I guess it is me that is envious that she has all this positivity whilst I have been soldiering on forging my own path ahead without her in it.

Confused!! I know this is all me but where do I begin to change?

Hopefully someone can offer and insight into this from an outsider's perspective? I'd be truly grateful :)

[Xan]

StarFly... A hallmark of good friendships is the acceptance. In fact, an accepting attitude can cure many relationship ills.

But since you are having trouble accepting her as she is now, you will need to begin with yourself... getting into the feeling of accepting own your feelings, whatever they are. As you become more accepting with yourself it will carry over to others.


Xan

Thank you Xan, it seems this has been a continuous theme for me over the last few months or so so will give it some extra thought in relation to my office friend

:)