Not awful, part of living on earth in a physical body on in a physical dimension. And all part of the ascension process. When people weren't so far yet the lower 3 chakra were 1.
And at 5D level they are still individual. Yes, our consciousness will grow, we are moving from ego/head based to heart based living. From head-carried consciousness to heart-carried consciousness, but still individual.
5D is still physical, from 6D onward it isn't possible to be in a physical body anymore. You can have moments of being in higher Ds but not permanently live there.
I believe it isn't until 10 or 14D (cannot remember which one) that duality is surpassed, and I suppose individuality kind of goes.
Remember even Ascended Masters have an individual energy, retreats, personality etc etc.
It sounds like your not happy with life and being here, trying to escape life.
Remember, your soul chose to be here and to live life on a physical planet in a physical body. When you can embrace this, and all the beauty that comes with that, things will become much easier.
Many non-physical beings long to experience this because energy-only comes with serious limitations.
You're here for a reason, which is not to dislike/hate life away.