Please....

[SikuX]

Originally Posted by lomax

All kinds of numbers and signs.
That's not the point.

You're right, that is not the point. It's WHEN and WHERE you receive them. That is! If you keep your mind and heart closed during them, that's on you.

And let's just say that you have indeed 'angels' watching over you.Are you happy with what you experience?Do you feel light and love as some people desperately want to believe about angels?
Do you like to think that maybe these angels who're showing you these signs are responsible for what's going on?
And why they're letting you suffer instead of helping you?
Lessons?Yeah,i can take it.
But what you experience here my friend,is not a lesson at all.It's pure torment.
Such things will leave scars.Who's gonna heal them for you?Propably you.Not only you have to suffer as long as G-d wants,but then you'll have to fix things on your own as well.

No need to expand on this more.You know very well what i'm talking about.
My main question is,is it worth it?

How about knwoing that the 'angels' are just keeping you alive in order to suffer?

Please, first and foremost, don't imply that I am 'naive'. I am anything but. Angels can be anything, even us. I say, especially US. This is where we differ, it seems. So, take my views as you will. Or you have a lot of negativity and agony attached to you currently. Whichever the case;

Again, I'm an Empath whose been through a lot. Which means my beliefs and my core will always be about doing the right thing, not becoming what I hate, and believing in divine love and compassion regardless of myself. Forget me. Forget what I'm going through, that is who I am. So yes, I think even what caused the torment could be the same thing. What's the difference? Love hurts, love is amazing all the same. I am helping myself by helping them regardless and vice versa. Putting them down and fight will cause a chain reaction, I've said this in my dealing with outside help in this thread.

Lessons put you in the dark so you fight your way out and know the difference. Regardless of faith or beliefs, call it light, or dark, call it pain or again. Call it simple transmuting of energies. Yin and Yang. Whichever. The point is, lessons build character. It makes people stronger. Some welcome it, some do not. I've grown more in the last 8 months than I have my entire life, so I welcome it more once I am able to breathe again. But that breathe? I created myself. Always, in this strong lesson. So, I am following my inner-self and my 'guides' are syncing more with me because of it. Don't fix something if it's not broken is the perfect words in a scenario such as mine. I don't know yours enough to give you more proper comparison, I'm an a very willing listening ear if you wish to tell me it.

I don't see these attacks and craziness as being or persons purposely doing this to me any longer. I am staying positive to rise above it. Because not only does it HELP MYSELF, it also helps those around me and it's RIGHT. I'm trying my best to steer clear and steer away from revenge and realism such as yours. An eye for an eye makes the hole world blind.

You forget, I don't just see numbers. I feel their 'love', sincerity, and insecurities. Like a spiritual lie detector. They don't need to have wings, they don't need to be Raphael, Metatron, or Michael. They don't need to be in a bible or book. They are helping when I needed them most. They are guiding, not healing. Because maybe, just maybe, you the 'victim' full of hurt needs to hold it TIGHT and learn from it and RISE from it by turning that energy into love or a higher vibration. Transmute. So, while I get where you are coming from to an extent, I used to think like you during times of hopelessness and anger. But ask yourself, is that anger and feelings truly yours?

And please lomax, revenge will get you nowhere fast.... I've even tried reversal candles myself to stay humble about it and they did nothing. So maybe in my case, it's purely strong spiritual lessons and absolutely nothing magick or physical host related. Yours may be entirely different, I do not know.

When I feel similar to those words you speak, I feel an negative attachment. I don't know what your case is though. Perhaps you don't have the luxury of feeling what is or is not, you. But I will share with you that, yes, I feel like it's worth it once I'm in the state of being more synchronized with whatever gift this is. I'm still learning with curiosity.

Do I worry about my future and hope I return to normal? All the time. Do I feel like it's torment at times, most certainly yes. But I always weight the positives and negatives and try to be grateful for what I have, whose supporting me as further proof that good exists while I've been isolating myself and not working. Their patience, forever grateful for. There's silver linings if you look for them.

I am doing better friend, I hope you do soon too. Just please, revenge will only promote more of a battlefield with-in you. I beg of you, no conflict and only positive affirmations. Laws of attraction does indeed exist. Think more positive, more positive things will come over time. Patience.

[John32241]

Originally Posted by SikuX

Hello, John. I apologize for not seeing this until now. I'd very much love to take you up on your offer only if you get something out of it. Curiosity, perhaps? I'm most curious of what you have to say and offer for sure. :)

I follow my intuition, my heart chakra, something I never felt strongly until I met someone overseas. It was like a spark. In short, I am a strong believer in love of life, nature, the universe, and not religion. My beliefs in faith are what you make of it. I fashion my own cross after praying to so many faiths for help for so long.... I'm what you'd call, an open-minded spiritual realist. Laws of attraction. Positive affirmations. You attract what you are/want. I am not entirely closed off to the idea of certain faiths, but I'd love a strong debate. I love spiritual debates. Feeds the soul. <3

Anyways, I welcome any PMs, and I plan on PM'ing you right now. :)

Hello,

I replied to your PM.

John

[lomax]

@sikux
In case you didn't noticed it,i'm with you.The point is,are you as well?
I'm not the negative one here my friend.Someone else is destroying your life,and he's the real evil one.

[SikuX]

Originally Posted by lomax

@sikux
In case you didn't noticed it,i'm with you.The point is,are you as well?
I'm not the negative one here my friend.Someone else is destroying your life,and he's the real bad one.

Perhaps you took my words, wrongly. It was not meant as an attack or a form of indifference, friend. :)
I am stating that we're on different wavelengths it seems. I do not see it as that, at all. I no longer put faces to whatever is doing the things I don't like or agree with. I don't see the point. I'd rather build armor and let it bounce off of me. I now see it as a journey and a gift more than the previous view of a curse or hex of sorts.

There's multiple ways of looking at it (if it's indeed a person or thing causing it).Then it's most likely a narcissist of sorts or the unloved, if that is the case - I treat it like I would a spoiled child or a broken person.

Don't give them the satisfaction or attention they want. They'll either give up or come out of hiding if they see it's doing nothing and move on to the next person to torment and get the reactions it wants. That last bit, I do not wish on another person what I'm going through which is why... I give them love whenever I can. In hopes it heals or fixes them. Raising their vibrations. Not only because it's right, decent, but most importantly - it's kind. What do you have to lose? At least you can say you tried in the end. Y'know. :)

Clearly, it's still around due to some sort of cycle. Look within to figure out what it is and break it, perhaps. Especially since no outside help can help you. Try to stop being cross and full of realism with it all and at least explore the idea that maybe just maybe, whatever is attacking you, you both can grow together by doing something different about it than the usual. And hope it'll move on if you do not wish it to still be with you if you reach that.

I am saying this out of painful experience not a bubble.... You're entitled and I respect whatever you are going through. I am not judging you at all. Just sharing my experience and what has helped the most. Hope you understand. I still see you the same. And empathize.

Currently exploring the idea that fallen angels or naive ones in the meta or other planes are perhaps bred and/or taught to feel their divine love by attaching themselves to people. Whose to say they aren't going through the same troubles as you on their end? Getting healers that pull you apart from one another when that wasn't supposed to happen and is nigh impossible. What if it's your other halve? Leave it be and work it out yourselves like any physical relationship. No different. :P That's my newest. Not to be implied it's concrete, please.

We are quick to forget (the mind and ego) that the best guidance and reality smacks are ones we experience first-hand. So, maybe, just maybe, our guides aren't strictly these stereo-typical angelic types. No different than you allowing your child to trip and fall to experience lessons. Tough love.

[lomax]

This torment most likely will end up-manifest as mental illness.I don't see something to learn-gain from it.
I know 'hope' is the only thing it keeps you in one piece.Hope that things will change and the wheel will turn.

I was hoping the same,and now i'm counting almost five years.The only thing i've learned is that my overself is a prick and nothing more.

And still,those who trigger such things are well hidden.No chance to ever face them and ask why.They decide for you,and you experience,what they want for you to experience.
I thought slavery went out of fashion some centuries ago but apparently i was wrong.

[LadyMay]

Hi Sikux, have not read everything, just saw your response to me. First I’m sorry I forgot you emailed me, I’d of course just moved which was stressful so I wasn’t able to. But I suspect there was a greater purpose at play here, namely that in the end it seems you did help yourself. Like I said none of us can help you, until you learn to help yourself. We all threw ideas out, you tried them and they didn’t work for you - well done for trying them, that’s the important part. Through trial and error if what you’ve said is correct then you found something that has worked for you - in the end helping yourself

[lomax]

@sikux

Go and sit near to a running water fountain.Maybe a plublic one.The closest the better.If you feel better,it's a clue that this thing that triggers all these it's 'fire based'.
Running water has a frequency that dissolves negativity but i won't last for long.

Do you find temporarely relief while in shower?

[one-light]

How you doing there SikuX, still making improvements?

Also has anyone heard from Starman - I just checked he's not posted in over a month, he wrote good messages on this forum and went out of retirement recently to help others if I remember correctly, with this virus battle at the hospital... We should remember and ask about someone when they are suddenly are not messaging here. God bless him, he is good man...

[lomax]

We forgot to mention 'Lynn' the administrator.She's there for all members.Have you tried to shoot her a pm?

[SikuX]

Originally Posted by lomax

This torment most likely will end up-manifest as mental illness.I don't see something to learn-gain from it.
I know 'hope' is the only thing it keeps you in one piece.Hope that things will change and the wheel will turn.

I was hoping the same,and now i'm counting almost five years.The only thing i've learned is that my overself is a prick and nothing more.

And still,those who trigger such things are well hidden.No chance to ever face them and ask why.They decide for you,and you experience,what they want for you to experience.
I thought slavery went out of fashion some centuries ago but apparently i was wrong.

Five years... I can't imagine... I don't want to deal with this rollercoaster much longer as I need to get things back in order to live the life I always wanted. The simple life, with kids. Already 35.... I just want peace. But, Jeez. I'm so sorry man.... And to not have any substantial way of healing can make someone feel alone and hopeless...

I agree with you, I really do. But still to a point. And I respect that you've been at it for five years but I feel significant relief when in "monk" mode so I try my best to stay there and learn from it. It's like seeing things in more loving and compassionate eyes. Think of it as, creating a bubble for yourself to be 'you', while having all the baggage still there making it's in way in whenever severe. Like a Yin-Yang journey I constantly go through. So again, I guess our experiences aren't entirely matched. But still to a point. In my opinion and experience, thinking like that causes more of the same cycle of problems in itself and attracts the negative energy more, for me at least. Think of it as a pillar floating on a sea of waves. I'm learning to stay on the pillar and less in the water, but sometimes you miss being wet, y'know. Especially if someone you care about is in that water. Or, you get triggered from outside forces or your oversoul/self. Or, your higher consciousness perhaps? Just thinking out loud, here.

I'm beginning to think some of us tap into other parts of ourselves or being(s) that attach to us that exist elsewhere in another plane of existence. And some can be childish, selfish, or loving in nature. Whose to say how they cope or learn, maybe they need us to move on or grow. Guides needing guidance all the same. Either rid ourselves of it (painfully), or help it grow but growing ourselves to accommodate the heavier weight. "Never stop growing", comes to mind. There is ALWAYS room for anyone to grow. That logic can perhaps exist to things in the meta as well, no?

I suppose our circumstances are different. During the worst of it all and all the negative energies; I very much feel like I'm mentally ill and can easily be perceived that way. But, it's in my nature and I can't help but be curious of what is causing the problems to me, with compassion and empathy as well. I also feel an underlining energy that is full of love and loves me very much. Do I want to lose that? No. I can't help but feel like we're learning together. Think symbiotic. Perhaps it will move on, or grow with me over time. Loving it to grow it's wings and leave or enough to co-exist is my approach these days. Because, I actually do love it. Especially when it's mutual, it becomes a mutual healing.

As with any relationship, I have my days where I hate what it's doing to me and just want it gone because it's ruining things in my life, all the same lol. That strong love and hate, relationship. Pain lessons and not wanting others to go through the same, or opening your heart to severe trauma to learn the empathetic benefits of it can be absolutely beautiful. I'm a weirdo, sorry lol.

@LadyMay, Thanks so much for the kind words. Hope all is well on your end and less stressful and you like the new place. Thanks again for everything.

How you doing there SikuX, still making improvements?

Also has anyone heard from Starman - I just checked he's not posted in over a month, he wrote good messages on this forum and went out of retirement recently to help others if I remember correctly, with this virus battle at the hospital... We should remember and ask about someone when they are suddenly are not messaging here. God bless him, he is good man...

I appreciate the inquiry, really do. You've been an amazing support structure. Thanks so much! I would like to think I have, I find myself falling asleep with higher love vibrations with 'something' at night (hoping it's her oversoul or Divine-self in the 5D, really am... :( ) and while I still dream vividly (I'm assuming due to my third eye being so stimulated constantly now), I have night terrors significantly less and just overall dreams. Thankfully. The other person I have said bond with (her) albeit her ghosting me in the physical, has reported the same on her end publicly. So, we're indeed synced to a degree still ad-mist all the craziness. Hard to shake that we're bonded when things like that keep happening. Just wish she wasn't so passive about her spirituality and stuck on her trauma/sense of realism. She still has the habits of a twin flame runner, sadly. And we both seem to yo-yo a lot. Doing my best to unconditionally love even if I feel like I'm being disrespected daily over her ghosting.

And I also cannot shake the 'feeling' (forget over-thinking), that someone perhaps a Karmic? keeps feeding her the wrong advice that sways her easily. Painfully. Again and again. When it's not that at all.... Causing the waves of disconnection and chaos to appear. Breeding grounds for the negs to live in. Like our energies are full of love and suddenly, bam, she speaks to someone over it and we're back to clashing again. Fueling her past hurt which views me wrongly with ease. I never got the chance outside the meta to defend myself over something I know is hurting her still. It sucks feeling like you know exactly what will help but you're only listened through a cup and string and someone else's agenda comes in and cuts the string. Thus is the Twin Flame journey perhaps, huh?

'Something' heavy keeps crying inside of me over all the pain and struggle too. I'm one of those 'I barely cry/alpha male types' so the fact that I do means it's a very over-powering and strong link that is making it's way through to me. Usually when I feel like I want to cry, we cry together.... or vice versa. I do and do not wish it's her. I hate her crying.... I'm over-protective but I also love raw moments... as does her.... heh.

So again, I'm taking the more symbiotic approach and hoping it's just not blind love and hopeless romantic (very real and home-like in the meta)feelings guiding me and/or bringing me down all the same. :)

I'm keeping positive and optimistic that one day she'll contact me again as much as I can, if not, still trying my best to stay above it all not matter how heavy it gets. Doing considerably better than previously, thanks for asking.

Most certainly hope Starman returns soon enough or at least pops their head up with a small update of sorts.

I apologize for talking about her significantly more this update, specifically. Things are getting substantially more strong with the 'feelings' in here lately. Miss her so much.... Sigh.... Hoping this thread maybe reaches her and she adds to it one day. Yeah? :P

@lomax, you're right. Except I actually find temporary relief whenever I use scolding hot water, if it helps any. I feel like water in general helps with negativity and any form of neg attacks as well. Even the sound of it running helps the aura. Just not the telepathic/psychic attacks I receive as the source are elsewhere it seems. Having running water on Shungite helps significantly as well. But it's always just during, and the 'norm' returns either way for me. How about you? How long does the relief stick for you?

I spoke with the admin heart when I first arrived since they too have gone through similar. Lynn I did not, as I generally don't like to impose.

I'm extremely grateful for the out-pour and over 11,000 views on this thread. My goodness! That in itself shows people are trying to help and cares, and that attention alone heals some my heartspace. Thanks so much everyone! <3