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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #11  
Old 08-10-2018, 09:52 PM
Tomma Tomma is offline
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 380
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sky123
What can I say, you are suffering so much, so sorry Tomma.

Does someone who is close to where your Mum is living use Skype? You can then arrange a time to speak to Mum face to face, that might help you both. Video calls on a Mobile is another device that could connect you both.

Sorry that is all I can think of that might help... You take care of yourself, your Mum would want that

Thank you sky! Yes you're right, I said the same to my husband today. She wouldn't want me to suffer and be all torn up inside. So I'm trying to take care of myself better now, have fun time with my dogs, eat better (good sleep still eludes me mostly), breath and relax, and let it all settle a bit.

These were easy the most stressful weeks I ever experienced because it was on all levels, mentally, emotionally, and physically. And then on top of that this relative ... what a narcissist he turned out to be! My chin's been on the floor more than once because of how he talks and things he did.

Which brings me to your suggestion. He and his wife are the only ones of the family who live near the hospital and currently visit my mom. And he doesn't like me and doesn't talk to me. So there's no way to arrange something like Skype or similar. Ugh I could go on about him but I'll spare you. I'm very hurt and furious about how he talked to me and also some things he said about my mom. She doesn't know any of this of course, she's just happy they're helping her, and for that I'm also grateful.
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  #12  
Old 08-10-2018, 11:06 PM
Native spirit Native spirit is online now
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,136
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Never mind your relative I always say What goes around Comes around.
your mother knows about him I can,Empathise with you I have been there
light a candle and send your Love to your mother she will feel it.
you need to stop being so hard on yourself,i can Empathise with you.
I will continue to send Healing thoughts to you and your mother.


Namaste
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  #13  
Old 08-10-2018, 11:26 PM
Tomma Tomma is offline
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 380
 
Thank you for your support Native Spirit it means a lot to me!
It was just all so sudden and so shocking ... every day there was more bad news, more problems ... I think I was really traumatized by all this. Still need to recover. As if I was in an accident I feel. Crying as I write this . Thank you again.
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  #14  
Old 09-10-2018, 02:11 AM
Grace222 Grace222 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: US
Posts: 407
 
Tomma,

I'm so sorry to hear. Six years ago, I lost my mother to cancer. The time during her illness and afterward was a whole emotional journey. But there is no wrong. That's our human selves passing judgment. And don't give validation to other's judgmental thoughts - people project their inner storms and lens of reality. Souls are energetically connected despite distance. My mom's soul came to me in a dream during the time she was sick, young and beautiful again waving and then hopping in a sporty car and happily zooming off, to let me know all will be well with her in the end. This didn't feel like any regular dream. It was vivid, and I woke up in this state of peace I couldn't explain. And her soul visited me later after she passed (I could hear/feel/smell her in my house, checking on my kids and me, watching me as I worked, etc.). This was my personal experience. Your mother's energetic connection to you though will be the same regardless if you have such experiences. She loves you. She will understand. And cut yourself a break and hang in there.

Peace to you during this time.

Grace
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  #15  
Old 09-10-2018, 02:58 AM
Empowers Empowers is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 234
 
Hi Tomma,

There may be a resource network you can call upon where she is that could visit on your behalf with Skype, some type of support network. Maybe you could find some type of support group in her area?

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your turmoil. And how you are being is very natural. I also hope you will be gentle with yourself. Whether you go or not, it sounds like you both have great love for each other that transcends distances. And that is a good place to be, no matter where you are.

<3
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  #16  
Old 09-10-2018, 10:44 PM
Tomma Tomma is offline
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 380
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace222
Tomma,

I'm so sorry to hear. Six years ago, I lost my mother to cancer. The time during her illness and afterward was a whole emotional journey. But there is no wrong. That's our human selves passing judgment. And don't give validation to other's judgmental thoughts - people project their inner storms and lens of reality. Souls are energetically connected despite distance. My mom's soul came to me in a dream during the time she was sick, young and beautiful again waving and then hopping in a sporty car and happily zooming off, to let me know all will be well with her in the end. This didn't feel like any regular dream. It was vivid, and I woke up in this state of peace I couldn't explain. And her soul visited me later after she passed (I could hear/feel/smell her in my house, checking on my kids and me, watching me as I worked, etc.). This was my personal experience. Your mother's energetic connection to you though will be the same regardless if you have such experiences. She loves you. She will understand. And cut yourself a break and hang in there.

Peace to you during this time.

Grace

Thank you Grace for the encouragement and for sharing your experience! I can imagine that the beautiful dream helped you a lot to relax and let go. How nice of her to visit you like that!

I actually have felt my mom around me a few times over the past few days, I'm assuming she is experiencing moments outside her body already, maybe during sleep. I had the feeling though she felt confused and sad and in my mind I hugged and held her, telling her it's all fine and just relax.

I also dreamt of her a few days ago, the dream was also sad. In the dream I was told that she had a baby and that the baby is not doing well.

I get the feeling she is either scared or has another reason for feeling very sad right now.

She has also not answered her phone today. I tried calling her many times. This is the first time this has happened. The last time we spoke on Sunday she was too tired to form proper sentences and when she spoke I could barely understand her because she was mumbling. This might be due to a change to stronger pain meds, I don't know.

I will call the clinic tomorrow, But I doubt they will tell me anything definite over the phone.

When my uncle died a couple of years ago it popped in my head one day that "I think H.... has died" and it turned out to be true. It was simply a feeling that he's not here anymore, like an empty space. It feels similar with my mom today although not quite the same. But something has changed ...

But surely that relative in charge would at least let me know if she passed?
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  #17  
Old 09-10-2018, 11:00 PM
Tomma Tomma is offline
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 380
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Empowers
Hi Tomma,

There may be a resource network you can call upon where she is that could visit on your behalf with Skype, some type of support network. Maybe you could find some type of support group in her area?

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your turmoil. And how you are being is very natural. I also hope you will be gentle with yourself. Whether you go or not, it sounds like you both have great love for each other that transcends distances. And that is a good place to be, no matter where you are.

<3

Thank you for your kindness! Yes we do have a strong heart connection and I keep whispering to her over it and sending her love and encouragement. I'm actually quite surprised and happy to find out how strong our connection is. In a phone conversation a couple of weeks ago we both expressed regret that we hadn't spent more time together. Well I believe in reincarnation, so maybe in the next life we'll do that!

When she arrived at the hospital I tried to find voluntary clinic visitors by contacting several charities in the area but none of them included the clinic she is at. I tried to find private people who do this kind of thing but had no luck. I fear it is too late now as she seems to weak now for any kind of communication.
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  #18  
Old 01-11-2018, 05:24 AM
Sapphirez Sapphirez is offline
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Us
Posts: 1,691
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two things I'll share as I'm sure there's lots of wonderful advice and insight in this thread already..

1. EFT especially for healing deeper emotional & mental issues

2. humans are frugivores meant to eat mainly fresh raw ripe fruit and some young greens (like baby spinach etc) and herbs and many other natural remedies here are available to help heal us. disease is caused by acid dead things which the body has trouble removing after awhile. the lymphatic system is our blessed sewer system that is best fueled by fruit and the body is constantly working to restore & revitalize us if it gets a chance. I understand these ideas are nearly impossible for some to accept but some investigating should confirm it is the truth.

if your mother already moved on or if she's still alive love and blessings to you and her and your other loved ones
__________________
peachy
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  #19  
Old 03-11-2018, 03:40 PM
linen53 linen53 is offline
Master
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 14,332
 
Physical contact is not necessary. Our spirits are always in contact with those we love. Don't let your other family members lay guilt on you. You are doing the best you can.

Your mother understands your situation that is all that matters.

So you may not want to see her in her current condition. Is that a sin or a crime? No. Remember her as you want to remember her. If the other family member has taken guardianship then that is his/her role they have voluntarily accepted. It's not necessarily your role.

I'm sending angels your way to comfort you, your mom. And your family member who has taken guardianship so he/she can open their heart to understanding and love. This is a time to unite not divide.
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  #20  
Old 03-11-2018, 08:30 PM
Rachella Rachella is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 187
 
Hi Tomma, I just wanted to say that this year I have lost my mum to cancer too, I have been with her during the illness and in the last days of her life but that did not eliminate the regrets. My younger sister, who has spent even more time with her, the days after she passed away was eaten by regrets. Apparently, it's a normal process when you're grieving.
What others said, that spirits are in contact regardless of physical proximity, is very true. The day my mum fell in a coma, I was in another city, and basically she came in a dream saying that she had to go so I had to hurry up if I wanted to say good bye.
I live in a city that is only a couple of hours flight from my home town, but I am certain that if I was at the other side of the world she would never ask me to go. Believe that your connection to her is probably stronger in this moment than in the past, and will grow stronger even after passing away. Sending you hugs
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